


Everything You Want

by Pillowprincess (Zacia)



Series: Everything You Want Verse [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amora accidentally helping, Bifrost up and running tho, Catfights, Clint has his family, Deaf Clint Barton, Enemies to Friends, Heimdall enjoying the situation more than he should, Humor, Insecure Thor, Jealous!Thor, Jealousy, Loki got away before he could be brought to Asgard, Loki has feelings, Loki is an unreliable narrator, Loki is starved for love, M/M, Natasha is the hero we all need, Odin not knowing wtf is going on, Possessive Thor, Post-Avengers (2012), Pre-Thor: The Dark World, Pseudo-Incest, Shy Steve Rogers, Sibling Incest, Sneaky Frigga (Marvel), Sugar Daddy Tony Stark, Sweet Bruce, Thirsty tony, Thorki end game, Tony Being Tony, Tony Has Feelings, Tony might break your heart, and Fandral, hell so may Steve, loki is a little shit, love potion, mixed in a bit of the comics as well, oblivious!Loki when it comes to Thor, serious moments, tease!Loki, the graphic depiction is for one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 02:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 128,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zacia/pseuds/Pillowprincess
Summary: Amora latest attempt at earning Thor's devotion has ended with Loki dealing with the consequences.  But Loki wouldn't really call them consequences. Not really.akaLoki gets doused with a love potion and enjoys all the attention he is getting.





	1. And so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for the marvel fandom.  
> I hope you guys enjoy!

      Amora had the worse timing. Loki didn’t know what her plan was, or why she decided to attempt it now, but it didn’t end well. At first, he hadn’t noticed her as he was too busy battling his brother. But the moment he was tossed into her and heard the breaking of glass, he couldn’t help but notice. She was holding a broken fragrance bottle above him. The base crushed by his scepter and the contents currently all over him.

      “You ruined everything!” She screeched but he could hardly see why this was his fault. She was the one that thought it wise to approach them when they were obviously engaged in a private battle. Of course, it wasn’t that private when conducted in the middle of the street in a highly populated city, but he issued her no invitation. She came on her own. What did he have to do with any of that? What did this godawful perfume that assaulted his nose have to do with any plan she had? Whatever plan she was concocting in that strange mind of hers obviously couldn’t come to fruition without it.

     “You’re only supposed to use a little!” Well, Loki could certainly see that. The smell was obviously rather potent. He could only pray that his nose would grow accustom to it soon, so he wouldn’t have to be conscious of it. Amora huffed and made some strange inhuman noises in her anger. “I guess you’ll have to suffer the consequences.”

     With that, she left. Loki was confused. What consequences? Was the perfume supposed to transform him in some way? He didn’t feel any different. He looked to his brother and saw him merely staring at him with the same foolish affection he always had. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

     “Alright, Reindeer Games, show's over.” Great, his plans must have been thwarted again. It wasn’t really a problem. He did them more for show and out of boredom these days. However, he was a bit disappointed it hadn’t lasted longer this time.

     Turning to look at the metal man, he had a witty remark at the tip of his tongue. Well, he did untill he saw the man's face. Tony Stark, had opened his mask and was staring at him in a very odd manner. Loki’s eyes widened. Did he look strange? What did that concoction do? Fingers looked the same. Hair felt the same. Didn't feel like he had grown anything on his head or face. After a brief panic, Loki looked back into the man’s eyes. There was no trace of fear or confusion there. That meant whatever had happened to him wasn't unpleasant to view. This thought led him to realize what emotion those eyes held: Desire. Loki gulped.

    He soon found the other avengers surrounding him. At first, they seemed ready to dish out what ever justice they thought deemed fit, but one by one each male stopped in their tracks. Male because Romanov seemed like the only one unaffected. They were all looking at him with a sort of odd affection. It was as if they were all seeing him for the first time. Suddenly, it dawn on him what all this meant. Was the perfume a love potion? Was that what he was currently drenched in? It seemed only to affect the male population though. Desperately, Loki turned to Thor who looked the same as always. Perhaps it didn’t affect Asgardians. Amora shouldn’t be so angry with him then. Her plan was doomed to fail regardless.

     “I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement.” Loki felt himself backing up as they all came closer. This was unsettling. He didn’t know how powerful the potion was and what it made the ones affected want to do to him. If Tony’s desire was any indication of what could happen, he wasn’t willing to satiate their lusts.

     “Puny god!” The green beast wasted no time to close the distance and pull him into an affectionate hug.

     “Let him go, Hulk.” The captain spoke with a strangely angry tone. Was that a hint of jealousy? Loki would have teased him if he had any breath left in his lungs. “He’s still a criminal.”

     “A sexy criminal.” Tony supplied not even hiding the lust on his face. Loki shivered.

     “Tony!” It seemed the potion affected each one of them differently. The Captain was trying his best to resist, but it seemed to be a losing battle with how red his face was becoming.

     “What’s going on here?” Romanov eyed every one of them suspiciously. She would be a problem if Loki was to use this to his advantage.

     “Friends, the day is won, and we have stopped my brother once more.” His brother seemed as confused as Romanov. He would also need to be dealt with.

     “Yes, so we should lock him up.” Barton suggested. So, it didn’t affect him either? Loki peered over at the archer and watched as the man looked down sheepishly. No, it did. He was sure of it.

     It was time for some emotional manipulation.

     “Really, lock me up, Barton?” Loki did his best pout and fluttered his eyelashes. He should be ashamed of doing such a childish type of flirtation but the look on the archer’s face was all worth it.

     “But you’ve done so much wrong.” He tried to argue but his face got redder the more he spoke. He looked up at Loki and the trickster did his best pitiful look. There it was in the man’s softening eyes: So much worthless affection. “At least... one day.”

     “One day!? Clint have you gone insane?” Romanov glared at Loki. She surely believed he was the one who had bewitched them. He had but not on purpose. It wasn’t his plan nor his potion, though now, he wished it was. Amora truly outdid herself.

     “Surely, you jest.” Thor looked at the archer like he had grown another head. Loki glared at him, though Thor paid him no mind and continued. “I am glad you have found mercy in your heart for my brother. But if I recall, you had wanted to do far worse than just imprisoning him. Of course, I am not arguing with your new decision. I welcome it.”

     Did he suspect something? He sounded like he did but wasn’t willing to argue about it. Loki stared at his brother trying to figure out what the man was thinking but of course, it was impossible. He used to pride himself on understanding his brother but after all that had come between them, he supposed they both had changed. He shook his head. No, _he_ more than Thor had changed. His brother was so dimwitted anyway, so he probably didn’t realize anything was amiss.

      Turning his head, Loki saw Romanov thinking very hard. She definitely was his other problem. She probably was trying to work out how any of this was possible but he knew she couldn't begin to figure it out. Such were the limits of mortals. Too wrapped up in their own world to see the many possibilities. She walked towards the Hulk, looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. Loki did his best innocent look, but he was sure it wouldn’t fool her. Nothing really did. The Hulk didn’t even notice her, however, as he was too busy hugging Loki close like a child with a doll.

     “Well, we can keep him in the tower afterwards. Make sure he doesn’t do anything funny after the day.” Barton was trying so hard to argue why only one day of prison would be fine for Loki. Both Tony and the captain were easily persuaded and even Thor was starting to like the idea. Then Barton said something that made all the men straighten up. “I’ll keep an eye on him. Closely.”

     “Oh, right.” Tony crowded Barton’s space with his arms folded over his chest. “I have cameras throughout the tower, I’m sure you don’t need to keep an eye on him.”

     “We’ll all keep an eye on him.” Oh, poor Captain. He really didn’t want to be left out. Also, all those stolen glances at Loki were kind of endearing. But all thoughts of that were stripped from his mind the moment he felt the arms around him tighten.

     “Yay! Puny god stay! Hulk take care of Puny god!” The Hulk jumped up and down in glee causing cracks on the pavement.

     “No, Hulk.”

     “Hulk take care of Puny god!” Loki knew he had to stop this beast from squeezing the life out of him. He swore he could hear his bones cracking. He could not endure this violent affection any longer. Taking a deep breath, he forced a smile and wiggled one arm out of the beast’s embrace. Slowly, he caressed the side of the creature’s face and did his best caring expression.

     “I’m sure you’ll take very good care of me.” He made sure that each word was said slowly and sensually. It seemed to do the trick as Hulk visibly relaxed and began to shrink. Loki felt himself slowly be brought to the floor as Bruce became the man holding him instead, and by the look on his face, wasn’t about to let go. He smiled sweetly up at Loki and despite himself, Loki felt the urge to smile back. There was a sweet tenderness in his gaze that the other avengers sorely lacked. Speaking of which, all the other men, besides Thor, were busy glaring at Bruce with more than a hint of jealousy in their eyes. Even Romanov seemed affected as her mouth gaped. Though, Loki supposed her jealousy was for another reason.

     “Seriously!” Romanov sputtered. “Something is wrong here.”

     “Nothing is wrong, Lady Natasha.” Thor placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “My brother’s feeble attempt to attack the city was easily thwarted. So, I find the proposal of him being imprisoned for one day favorable.”

     It made sense. For Thor that was. In Asgard, people have been outright pardoned for more serious crimes. He damaged a few buildings, terrorized a few people. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Just a normal Tuesday really. If Thor had done this to a village in any of the other eight realms, he would probably had been sent to his rooms for a few days. Loki sighed. Who was he fooling? Thor would probably had been praised regardless with no fault brought to him. They would even have a feast and ask him to regale the tale. He was the golden son after all. It was only Loki who would get punished.

     “What about all the other things he has done?” Romanov demanded. Well, that was a bit harder to pardon. Even Loki could admit that, but he couldn't have his admirers worry about that. He needed to use thier affection to his advantage. He had to get them on his side. All of them.

     “I promise I won’t do anything evil anymore.” Loki did his best to sound remorseful and weak. Enough to gain sympathy. He wasn’t completely lying. Why would he do anything else when all the avengers would be at his disposal? Of course, Romanov won’t but he was sure she’d come around when all her superiors are just as love struck as well. Why hadn’t he thought of this? Midgard would easily come under his rule now if he had wanted it to. However, the looks the avengers were giving him was satisfying enough. _Yes, adore me_. He thought as his eyes caught the Captain’s making his face turn bright red. So, satisfying.

     “Truly, brother?” There were unshed tears in Thor’s eyes that made Loki’s own roll. Ridiculousness. It was then that he realized Bruce still hadn’t moved his arms. Oh, the sweet admiration of Dr. Banner. The intensity of his affections reflected in those eyes looking at him like he was a wonder to behold. This was how things should be. Everyone looking at him with nothing but admiration and affection. Now Thor would know what it was like in the shadows. None of his shield brothers would even care for his company now.

     “That’s all I need! It’s all in the past.” Tony shrugged and moved towards Bruce and Loki obviously disapproving of the doctor’s prolong holding of him. Loki liked this. They all wanted his attentions. Tony nodded and placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder gaining a wince from Bruce. “This is now.”

     “Friends, this is a glorious day indeed. It truly warms my heart to see you have all chosen forgiveness.” Oh, foolish Thor. Foolish, dim witted Thor. He truly believed that his friends had just decided to forgive him and will take the god of mischief's word? Loki had a tough time suppressing a chuckle. This was going to be fun.


	2. The advantages

     They never had a chance to imprison him. Not even for one day.

     It wasn’t like they didn’t try. Romanov was insistent that they should lock him up. Though, Loki knew his admirers all didn’t quite agree with her, if their hurt expressions were anything to go by. They did take him to Fury eventually. They even confiscated his scepter which wasn't exactly in his possession anymore due to the Hulk's aggressive affection earlier. Captain America had grabbed it from the floor and no matter how many flirty looks Loki gave him, refused to return it. He gave it to some female shield operative, who walked off with it without a word. He'd get it back. He knew he would. After all, it seemed Fury was not immune to his charms. All it took was one look and the one-eyed man pardoned him. Loki didn’t even have to entice him… much. A few honeyed words and a look of vulnerability, and Nick Fury fell like any other man. He smiled at him and even giggled. Nick Fury **giggled**. Loki didn’t even realize the man was capable of even genuinely smiling.

     “Welcome to the team. You work with us and I’m sure all can be forgiven.” Fury had placed his hand on Loki’s shoulder and just for the reaction, Loki touched it with his. Oh, this was glorious. The director looked down bashfully and moved his hand away. He could even hear a jealous huff behind him. Perfect.

     The entire team was in high spirits the whole way back to the tower. Well, except a very silent and murderous looking Romanov. Loki couldn't help but give her a smug grin. No matter what she did, the men loved him and they weren't going to give him up so easily. But he shouldn't put his guard down. He could see she was thinking and that was never a good sign. She was too intelligent for his liking. Obviously, trying to reason with the boys wasn't going to work but what was her next plan? She could try to deal with Loki on her own but Loki knew she would never be so foolish. She must have some other plan in mind as he noticed a determined glint pass through her eyes. Loki shifted in his seat uncomfortably. The intense look she now had coupled by a smirk of her own made him uneasy. This was far from over.

     It wasn’t till he was safe in the Avengers compound that she began berating all her comrades. She wasn’t going to hold her tongue any longer Loki supposed and this seemed to be her best option. Sow the seeds of doubt. Loki had to admit, her approach was impressive. She didn't outright accuse him but she wasn't keeping quiet either. Of course, she wouldn’t. She just saw her superior giggling like a school boy in the face of her enemy. He was feeling a bit uneasy. Though they all seemed infatuated with him, they still had some of their wits left. It wasn’t like the popular myth of love potions; they weren’t all babbling buffoons drooling over him. This was subtler in nature. Probably because Amora might actually like his brother’s personality, though he didn’t understand why. He always found his brother to be disgustingly too noble at times. It would be a hinderance to any grand scheme she would have. It didn’t matter anyway. The potion had no effect on him.

     At least it worked for all the other men. They all looked scandalized by the implication that they may be under a spell, but Loki could see they were starting to believe it. This wasn’t good, they would fight their feelings for him if they suspected his hand in the matter. Would they win if they tried to resist? Barton tried early on and it did not work well for him. Even Fury attempted to rid his heart of Loki and all it took was a few words to have him giggle. They wouldn’t have pardoned him so easily if their feelings could be resisted so.

     Thor looked stormy. He was the one Loki feared the most though he hated to admit it. Loki knew he would not take kindly to the idea that he bewitched his pet mortals. He had to choose his words carefully lest he incite his wrath. It wasn’t like Loki couldn’t hold his own against Thor, normally. But an angered Thor fueled by the need to protect his friends was something entirely different. Maybe he won’t have to deal with him. Romanov hadn’t said anything about Loki pulling the strings, but she had been asking them questions about their feelings. Asking them if they thought it strange that these feelings came so suddenly. Maybe Thor won’t think about it too deeply.

     “You are saying he’s controlling us?” The Captain was the one to say it and he could just feel Thor’s anger from across the room. This wasn’t good. He had to bring this back under his control. It wasn’t his fault anyway! Why should he be punished? Taking a deep breath, he supposed it was time for something he rarely had use for; The truth. Looking at the Captain, he could see how conflicted and hurt he looked. Poor dear. His heart must be breaking. Since he was no longer dressed in his battle clothes, Loki supposes he should call him Steven now. Would he blush if Loki spoke his name? Time to test the theory.

     “Steven.” Loki smiled at the full flush that occurred. “If I may? I had no active part in the creation of this... Situation. I was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. Brother?”

     Thor looked at him confused. Loki gestured for him to say something, but the man was as thick as an old oak tree. He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. Loki tried gesturing again more desperate, but Thor said nothing. Surely, he saw Amora on the battlefield. He couldn’t have possibly been so focused on him that he hadn’t noticed her at all? He had to know that this was not a plan he had in mind, right?

      “Never mind, you oaf.” Loki growled and turned to Romanov. “It was Amora that created the concoction, Agent. I did not ask for it to be dumped all over me.” 

      “Oh, that is what you wanted me to speak about.” If Loki rolled his eyes anymore he swore they would fall out of his head. “He speaks the truth. For I saw the enchantress hold her bottle high above his head and the contents empty upon his form.”

     “Empty upon his form.” Tony snickered. Then Loki swore he heard the man whisper something comparable to wanting to empty something else on his form. Loki shuddered. He made a mental note to stay clear of one Tony Stark. His lust was too formidable.

     “Even if he didn’t do it. You are all being influenced by this.”

      Romanov was really trying to ruin everything for him. All he wanted was their admiration and complete devotion, was that so much to ask for? To look at him like the great people of Asgard all look towards his brother. Perhaps not so much in the romantic sense but there were plenty of women that beheld the thunderer so. Loki felt like this circumstance was a gift from the Norns. It had to be. They saw him suffering in the shadows and gave him some sunlight. Now she wished to take all this from him? No. Loki would not be defeated. If she wanted to turn the avengers against him, so be it. He would just take a stroll in time square and subjugate all the men there. He didn’t need their affection. He could get it anywhere, anytime and anyplace. Maybe he’ll seduce dignitaries and kings. Maybe he would have diplomats sign away countries to him. Well, all the ones with male leaders and male majority lawmakers at least. Or maybe he’ll seduce entire armies and have them fight against the avengers. He knew Tony, at least, wouldn’t mind joining him. He just had to make sure not to be in a room alone with him. He would be unstoppable, then what could Romanov and his brother do?

     “I know what you are saying, Nat.” Barton spoke after a while of silence. They had all contemplated the situation no doubt. Loki could see them all weighing their options. He could only hope their affection overpowered their reason.  “But I still think the best place for him to be is with us under strict surveillance.”

     “You just want to stalk him, Barton.” Tony growled, and Barton turned to glare at him with balled fists. Loki had to admit the jealousy these men were displaying was very amusing.

     “I agree with him. We should keep him inside the tower until it wears off.” Steve nodded trying his best to sound like he was making a reasonable decision that anyone who wasn’t affected would have made. It didn’t matter if it was or not. Loki knew the longer he stayed the more likely each one of them would crack and follow him like they were all made to do. They would worship him, and he would love every minute of it.

     “If it wears off.” Romanov grumbled not liking the suggestion in the least.

     “I don’t care if it wears off.”  Tony moved closer to Loki with the clear intent to try to touch him. He could see the man reaching out as if Loki wasn’t going to recoil and stab him the moment that hand made contact on any part of his person. That hand was dangerously moving towards his back and Loki found himself very conscious of it. “I care if Loki wants to wear me off.”

      “Is that even a real euphemism?” Loki snarled as he moved away before the man’s hand could make any contact with his backside. It was enough for Tony to retract his hand. It was audacious of him to think he could even hope to graze Loki’s form with his fingers. He was lucky his hand never touched him. Brave Tony. Soon to be Dead Brave Tony if he dared to try that again.

     “No, it never was.” Steve looked as annoyed as Loki felt. “Tony, let’s not do anything we may regret once we're sound of mind.”

     Tony lifted his arm and wrapped it around Loki’s shoulders confidently. It would be so easy to stab him. Loki was even getting the dagger ready, but his eyes caught his brother’s, who was staring at the two of them with an amazing amount of ferocity. Did he see the dagger? Loki gulped. It was probably best if he put the dagger away. It was obvious his brother wasn’t going to allow him to harm his precious mortals.

     “Oh, cool it Rogers. I’m never sound of mind.” Tony chuckled.

     “He isn’t wrong.” Bruce mumbled, and Loki found himself nodding in agreement.  

     “Keeping him here would only mean he could use us all.” Romanov argued, and she was exactly right. Loki was undeniably going to use this to his advantage and there was absolutely no way he wouldn’t. She was too keen, and it would be hard to get her on his side. Her suspicion would never waver.

     “If I may, Lady Natasha.” Thor moved to Loki’s side and brushed Tony’s arm off his shoulders replacing it with his own. Loki sighed in relief. At least his brother had no desires to touch him inappropriately. “Letting him loose would do us no favors and locking him up, well, my brother will just charm the guards.”

     Tony looked annoyed at the fact he was no longer holding the trickster. Romanov and Steve looked like they were both deep in thought contemplating his brother’s words. He wasn’t wrong. Unless they only got female shield agents to handle him and made sure all his guards were women, it wasn’t like they could hold him anywhere.  And who is to say his natural charm wouldn’t ensure his escape anyway? Loki wasn’t a fool. He knew he was good-looking and he was known to be a silver tongue. He could seduce female guards without the need of magic. It wouldn’t be the first time he did so. He could talk his way out of anything he was sure. Loki smiled at them all. They were stuck with him whether they liked it or not. Though he was sure four of the men in the room were happy about this fact.

     “Let me watch over my brother.” Thor continued holding Loki close to him. He could hear the others grumbling angrily, clearly unhappy they weren’t holding him in such a manner. Loki would never allow them anyway. This was something he’d only allow from his older brother. He had grown accustom to his brother’s show of affections and it wasn’t like the potion had any effect on him. It wasn’t romance just familial love. Thor was just naturally like this. “I assure you. None will come to harm as long as he is under my care.”

     He knew not everyone was accepting of Thor’s proposal, but they really didn’t have a choice. Loki took joy in watching the conflict of emotions raging on all their faces until they all agreed. Loki will be staying at Avengers tower where he could be admired by all of them save Romanov. They will convince themselves that they are protecting the public and keeping him from harming others, but Loki knew the truth. They all just wanted to be near him and soon, they will all do whatever he asked of them.

     Love was a terrifyingly powerful motivator.


	3. The Party Pooper

     Loki was livid. The moment Thor brought him to his rooms, he tried to drown him!

      He took him by surprise when Loki was sure Thor was leaving to bathe. He was looking around his brother’s quarters out of curiosity. He had just wanted to see what his brother valued on this dirt pile. Unfortunately, Thor left nothing personal lying about save a picture of his mortal woman hidden in a drawer. Of course, he would have a picture of her somewhere. Loki remembered staring at it for a moment, thinking that there were plenty of other women far prettier than she. So, what was her appeal? Shaking his head, he had placed the picture back and closed the drawer. He had been in the process of turning around when suddenly he had been grabbed from behind. This had led him to being dumped into a full bathtub with all his clothing still on.

      He had been shocked at first but now, all he could feel was outrage. Loki snarled as Thor continued to scrub him furiously with an assortment of soaps. He was afraid of losing his hair with the amount of rubbing his brother was doing with the shampoo. The indignity of this all! He would not stand to be treated in such a way! This was not how this was supposed to play out! He had to break away. Before he could struggle again, his brother unceremoniously dunked his head under the water to rinse him a third time. Loki coughed when he was brought back up and shivered in anger. He shouted. He screamed. He flailed about, but Thor was possessed by his anger and overpowered him repeatedly.

     A dagger was squeezed out of his hand. A pulse of magic, easily dodged. Loki started to scream insults, but they didn’t seem to faze his brother in the least. Perhaps he had grown too accustom to the venom on Loki’s tongue. Thor didn’t even speak to him. He was just interested in cleaning off every drop of the potion.

     He was ruining everything! Without the perfume, all his plans were nothing! Why hadn’t he even thought about the possibility of just washing off the concoction? Now how was he going to subjugate all of them when his appeal was gone?

    “Stop it, you brute!” Loki screeched. “You’re hurting me!”

    It was like someone had doused his brother in ice water. He froze suddenly and got up leaving Loki panting alone in the tub. There was still soap all over him. Sniffing himself, Loki was horrified to find he smelled a bit like his brother. This was that last thing he wanted! Would it have killed Thor to use something a bit sweeter in scent? He didn’t want flowery smells or anything like that, but he definitely didn’t want to smell anything like his brother. It smelled like summer rain, it was subtle but effective. Of course, this would be the human soap his brother would use. It lacked, however, the underlying natural scent of his brother though. It was like an incomplete scent. It took Loki a moment to realize he was still sniffing himself and the water was getting cold. Hurriedly, he rinsed himself. It didn’t take long for him to remember why he was angry before. If he smelled like this now, then surely there was nothing left of the concoction on his body. It wasn’t fair! Loki deserved some admiration now and then. Why couldn’t his brother let him have this?

     He stripped off his clothing and dried himself with a towel. He was too tired to even try and dry his clothing with magic. He’ll just sleep and, in the morning, congratulate the Avengers for being free from the spell and leave. He’ll come up with a better plan to best his brother. He would. But for now, he would just rest here. He was sure his brother wouldn’t chase him out. He always seemed so determined to keep him near on a regular basis. Probably hoping to have his little brother back. Loki found himself snorting at the thought as he wrapped a towel around his waist. He was never his brother. Not really.

     When he opened the door, his brother was there with what looked like a white oversized shirt and black pajama pants. Loki glared at the offending clothing. Did he seriously want him to wear that?  Was humiliating him in the bathtub not enough? Shifting his glare to his brother, Loki realized Thor wasn’t making any eye contact with him. Whenever Loki peered over trying to catch his brother’s eyes, Thor would shift his eyes elsewhere guiltily. So, he felt bad for hurting him earlier. Good.

     Loki dropped his towel and grabbed the clothes angrily before slamming the door in his face. Serves him right.  After he got dressed in the terrible excuse for bed clothing, Loki chose to walk out, and pretend Thor didn’t exist. It was a childish tactic, but he was too tired to do anything else. His brother tried a couple of times to speak to him, but Loki just looked out the window for a bit. Again, Thor tried to approach him but childishly Loki moved over to the only chair in the room and sat down without a word. Finally, Thor just shook his head and stripped down to his underclothes.

     Loki watched as his brother lazily kicked his clothes to the other side of the room. Would it kill Thor to bend over, pick up his clothes and put them where they belong? He can’t believe on Asgard all the servants favored his brother. He didn’t even have the decency to clean up after himself. Obviously, Loki would have been the better out of the two. He had his share of messes, but he always did his best to remedy them on his own first. He wasn’t a slob like his brother. Loki watched as Thor laid down on his bed with a soft hum. So, he thinks he will just go to sleep and that would be the end of it? No, he hadn’t suffered enough. Loki plopped on the bed and stretched out making sure to push his brother in the process.

     “Loki, this is my bed.” Thor grumbled but Loki paid him no heed. He spread out his limbs as far as they went to assert his dominance. He continued to push his older brother to the edge meeting some resistance.  So, he turned to his side and began pushing and kicking. Thor turned and smacked his legs, but Loki didn’t give up. Thor didn't even put in enough strength when he smacked him. Loki could tell he was holding back probably unwilling to harm his precious little brother. He rolled his eyes. They have battled far too long for Thor to underestimate his strength. In order to show how wrong he was to think his brother weak, Loki would just have to kick him harder. Eventually, Thor sighed and stood up. Smiling wide, Loki planted himself firmly in the center of the bed. Victory was his.

     There was a soft knock on the door that captured both their attentions. Thor went from glaring at him to glaring at the door. Well, now that the perfume was gone, there was a chance whoever was at the door will now treat him the same as they had before. Once that person realized the potion was no longer in effect, he would be chased out of the tower before the night was over. Loki gave a disappointed sigh. This bed was actually quite comfortable. He was hoping to at least have a good night’s rest before his inevitable eviction.

     “Hey, Thor. Hey Loki.” Bruce open the door slowly looking very worried. He peered over at Loki and smiled a little. Loki sat up. That was interesting. “I just wanted to tell you that Fury came by looking for Loki. We told him everything. He’s pretty pissed about it.”

     “Does he wish to imprison my brother?”

     “No, he knows that won’t work. He agrees you should be the one to watch Loki since you are his brother. This whole situation is a little… much for him.” Bruce seemed flustered. Loki looked down at what he was wearing. His shirt was a bit oversized and it did come off his body a bit showing a little of his shoulders and collar bone. Did that mean it was still in effect? Loki was too involved with wondering about the spell that he didn’t hear everything Bruce was saying. Though he did catch the ending of it. “I think he’s angrier about his feelings.”

     “And are you angry about your feelings, Bruce?” Loki bent his torso forward making sure the shirt fell forward exposing his collar bone completely. If Bruce looked down the opening, he could even see the majority of Loki’s chest. It brought him so much delight to see the doctor’s breathing rate quicken. Oh yes, he still got it.

     “Thank you, my friend. Please pay my brother no mind.” Thor was ushering Bruce out the door, but the man only had eyes for Loki. This was very interesting. Thor had tried so hard to scrub the contents off, but it was all for naught. Apparently, a simple bath wasn’t going to remedy this. He certainly needed to get the recipe for this potion, but he supposed Amora was still angry with him. Best to give it a few days.

     “No problem, Thor. Are you going to be alright with him?” Bruce was still looking at him, so Loki did his best to look enticing. He let one side of the shirt go down his arm a bit and gave the doctor a heated look. The man gulped and his eyes darkened substantially. To be wanted felt divine. Immediately, Loki saw his brother grab the side of Bruce’s head and forced the man to look at him instead.

    “Loki is my brother. I’ll be fine.” 

     “Well, call me if you need me.”

    “I probably won’t.” Thor plucked Bruce’s fingers off the door frame, so he could push him into the hallway.

    “Goodnight, Loki.”

    “Goodnight, Bruce.” Loki was smiling ear to ear in a way that must have truly irritated his brother. Thor glared at him harshly, slammed the door shut and sat on the bed. Loki began pushing him again. Thor pushed back and smacked his legs again. That just made Loki want to push harder. The bed was his and his brother would have to accept that. If he was going to stay in his brother’s quarters, he was going to stay under his terms. That meant the floor for Thor and the bed for him! After one hard kick that made his brother lurch forward, Thor immediately turned towards him with fury in his eyes. Before Loki could react, his brother grabbed his limbs and pushed him down roughly.  It was obvious that Loki had finally pushed all his brother’s buttons. Thor’s large chest pressed against his to stop Loki from squirming. And squirm he did. It wasn’t in his nature to go down without a fight, but Thor used the strength of his weight to hold him still. It was then that Loki noticed he could feel his brother’s breath against his cheek. Turning to look at him, he became hyper aware of the awkward position they were now in.

     “Just go to sleep, brother.” Thor said, his eyes showing a kind of intensity he had never seen before. It caused a strange shiver to go down Loki’s spine. “The bed is large enough for the both of us.”

     It was like the words were stuck in his throat. He was shocked to see such a strange emotion in his brother’s eyes. What was that? What did it mean? It wasn’t anger. It was more than that. Before he could figure it out, Thor slowly rolled off him and laid beside him. Was he not even going to mention anything? He just scared Loki silent and he was just going to sleep? Loki huffed and turned his back towards his brother.

     He had been humiliated far too much today. First the bath, then these ridiculous clothing and now, whatever that was. Loki shifted uncomfortably as he remembered their closeness. He shook his head. If his brother was watching him, he'd probably think he had gone mad. Perhaps, he had and it was all Thor's fault. Thor was making everything so difficult.

     He’ll pay for this. Loki swore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I changed the rating from Teen to mature. Mainly because I realized Teen can include suggestive themes and mild violence. But I am not sure if it will become TOO suggestive. So, I changed it to mature to be safe.


	4. The Game of Seduction

     The morning came swiftly and with it came Thor’s rules. Stuffy and unfair rules.

     He was instructed to never leave the floor that was designated for him. Also, he was to not seek out the other Avengers and not start any mischief. There were a few other rules, but Loki tuned Thor out halfway through his speech. He didn’t care for the list and frankly, found it insulting. So, when his brother left to take a shower, he wasted no time. Loki shook his head in amusement as he entered one of the common rooms. Why his brother even thought he would listen was beyond him. No one told him what to do. If Loki wanted to flaunt himself, he would.

      Steve Rogers was sitting on a couch, in the large sitting area by the windows, reading a newspaper without any knowledge of what was going to happen. He looked so calm sitting there with the paper covering his entire upper half. Loki didn’t really need to see past the paper to know the captain was probably wearing some t-shirt that was threatening to rip to shreds, if the man flexed enough. It couldn’t be comfortable to have a shirt that tight, but Loki supposed the man liked to flaunt what he had. He couldn’t blame him for such confidence; the man did have a nice figure. He felt a little disappointed that Steve didn’t notice him when he walked in. It’s not every day the object of the man’s desire walked into the room with him. Where was his worship? Where was the affection that Loki knew the man had for him? The potion couldn’t have worn off now. He hadn’t even begun to have fun. Yet, here Steve was with no knowledge Loki had walked in or that he was currently being stared at. Quickly, Loki waved his hand and Steve’s coffee cup, which had been on the end table, was now in his hand. _Notice me_. The man continued to read and sighed. Whatever he was reading must be disappointing. Obviously not worthy enough for him to ignore the god of mischief. He then reached beside him to grab his coffee, only to find it was gone. The look on his face when he dropped the newspaper and noticed Loki was priceless.

     “May I join you?”

     “S-S- Sure.” Steve was blushing brightly and scooted closer to the arm of the sofa to allow Loki some room. It was a large couch where Loki could have easily sat further away. Steve must be very optimistic. Maybe Loki should reward that.

     “What are you reading?” Loki made sure his hip was touching Steve’s as he leaned even closer to look at the newspaper. He didn’t care what it said. He just wanted to see the mortal’s reaction to his touch.

     “Nothing im- important. Just the news.”

     “Keeping informed, are we?”

     “Yeah, I like to.”

     Loki could feel Steve’s excitement from being so close to him. However, Steve Rogers was such a serious individual and was doing his best to pretend he wasn’t feeling any of it. He was trying so hard to read his paper but every now and then, he would steal a glance at him. Loki looked down at the warm cup of coffee in his hands. He made sure to catch Steve’s eye as he brought the cup to his lips.

     “This drink is delicious.” Loki let the tip of his tongue dart out and slowly pass over his top lip. It had the desired effect of Steve gulping and his eyes growing darker.

     “Wo-wo- would you like me to make you some?” The man stood up immediately. Loki had to commend him. That was an amazing amount of willpower. “I’m going to make you some.”

     Loki leaned over and placed the man’s cup back on the small end table. He couldn’t help but be completely amused by the reaction he had gotten. It felt good to be wanted. Was this how Thor felt every day? It would explain his stupid optimism every time they fought. How could one not look at the bright side when they felt this way? He felt so much bigger than before. It was like he could do anything, and, for the first time, he felt comfortable in his own skin.

    Steve returned with a new mug of coffee just as Loki sunk a bit into the couch. Of course, he would return the moment Loki was getting comfortable. His shy smile though made Loki want to forgive him. He had to admit Steve was quite handsome and to have him look at him like that did things to a man.

     “Thank you, my captain.” He made sure his fingers brushed against his when he received the cup. He was rewarded by another one of Steve’s gorgeous blushes. This was Loki’s. Those beautiful pink cheeks were all for him.

     They sat in silence mostly because Loki didn’t really know what to talk about with the man. Did they have anything in common? Steve was good to look at, but the interest wasn’t there. Well, for Loki at least. He could tell that the man was probably loving his company, as he should. What would he make Steve do for him, when he became so enamored with him he couldn’t think straight? He was strong. He could be a good soldier for Loki’s future army but there had to be something Steve could do on his own. He could command his future army.

     Loki looked down at Steve’s chest. That gray shirt was fighting a valiant fight, but it seemed to be losing. He could almost see the curves of his abs under that fabric and those jeans... Loki wondered if the captain was going to lose circulation with how they clung to his well-shaped thighs. Perhaps there was another use for the man. He could just wear little to nothing and fan Loki when he needed cooling. That sounded nice. He would like to be surrounded by attractive people who would do anything for him. It would be nice to see the Avengers be humiliated so. That made him think up an even better idea. He could make Steve, still wearing very little, be on his hands and knees and become his footstool. Bring him down to a level where he was no longer even being treated as a man. He would be an ornament for his king, treated like an object and would love every minute of it. How could he not? To be useful for the god he loved, Loki was sure Steve would be honored to do so. He looked over at him again, and Steve just stared right back. He could just imagine how absolutely ashamed he would be when everything wore off. Those cheeks of his would still be red but for a completely different reason. He probably would be too mortified to even face him again. It would be glorious.

     As Loki pondered Steve’s usefulness, he became aware that the man was now boldly watching him sip his coffee. Loki darted his tongue out over his lips and gave him a small smile. Steve’s breathing became uneasy as he grabbed his own coffee cup. Probably to distract himself from staring at Loki’s lips. As Steve brought his own cup to his lips, Loki had a wonderful idea. With an impish grin, he decided to drop his voice and say to him “That’s where my lips were earlier.”

     The coffee must have gone down the wrong way. Steve was coughing up a storm. Loki became unsure if the redness that covered Steve’s face was because of the indirect kiss, or because he couldn’t breathe. He’d feel guilty, if he wasn’t so entertained.

    “You alright, Rogers?” Romanov came rushing in as if she had been waiting in the shadows for something to happen. She probably was.

     “Loki and I were just talking.” Steve tried speaking calmly, but because he still had small coughs here and there it came out like a whine. That wasn’t good. If Loki was going to use him, he needed him alive. He put a hand on the man’s arm in hopes of calming him down, but it just made things worse. So, he just wound up patting the man’s back as Steve coughed a little more. Finally, the man regained his composure.

    “Right.” Romanov’s eyes never left Loki and it was making him uneasy. Teasing Steve was amusing at first but now under her suspicious glare, it wasn’t fun anymore.

    “As much as I do love our conversations, Steven.” Loki’s fingers lingered on the man’s back as he used his other hand to lift him from the couch. He could see the man’s eyes seem a bit disappointed when Loki’s hand slid up to his shoulder and ultimately, left his form. “I think I should go occupy myself with something else.”

    Steve nodded a little unhappy and picked his newspaper back up. However, he didn’t begin to read. His eyes never left Loki’s form. He wasn’t the only one. Romanov watched him closely as he took one last gulp of his coffee and laid it on the coffee table in front of him.

    “I’m keeping my eye on you.”

    “Oh, my dear lady. I never doubted you would.” Loki smirked and gave one last look to Steve before leaving. It was so nice to see how easily he could get the man flustered, and willing to do things for him. After all, he did make him coffee. It was good coffee too. Loki was beginning to regret leaving it in that room.

    It was clear Romanov was going to make it harder for him. If he was going to use this to his advantage, he needed to be sure whoever he was seducing at that moment was alone. The common area was too open and there were far too many corners for one to hide in. He would have to be sure to catch them off guard in a more secluded area.

     His brother was the other problem. No doubt he was already done with his shower and very much aware of Loki’s absence. He should take caution and make sure not to cross paths with him. The tower was huge, and Loki could be anywhere. Thor will most definitely not find Loki before he found his next target. It was, also, making him feel a bit excited knowing he could get caught at any moment. It reminded him of younger days. Days where he and Thor played together and enjoyed each other’s company. Before Thor had other friends and began amazing the people of Asgard with his exploits. The potion might not have worked on him, but Loki was sure all Thor was concerned with right now was him. He was probably taking the elevator now thinking he was still on the common floor as if Loki would linger there knowing he would come. He wasn’t even going to take the elevator; too much of a risk. Instead, he’d take the stairs and just turn off into a random floor. Thor would have to go floor by floor hunting for him. The thought made Loki smile.

_Let’s see if you can find me, brother._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is actually the first half of one chapter I was writing but it was a bit too long. I know I've actually been updating more often than I said I would (I said once a week but I updated Monday and now today) but I may update sooner than later again. I have no patience lol.


	5. The Game of Seduction II

     Loki wandered the tower, looking for new entertainment. Steve was delightful, but he couldn’t stay there. Not with Romanov staring him down and the constant threat of his brother finding him.  It was best to keep moving and find someone else to admire him.

     Passing by the labs, he saw Tony talking with a very uncomfortable looking Bruce. He couldn’t hear what was being said, but the doctor looked like he wanted to be anywhere but Tony’s company. Loki could understand the sentiment. If he went in there and Tony was alone, he was sure his chastity would be in danger. Not that Loki was particularly chaste, but he wasn’t interested all the same. Also, he was sure Thor would check the labs. It seemed like a place his brother would assume he would go to. It was best to leave those two to whatever unpleasant conversation they were having and vacate the area quickly.

     He found himself wandering the halls on different floor. This one had a large training area that was accessible through a sliding doorway. There were no locks or keypad stopping him so, he entered it. It wasn’t something he would be interested in. This certainly would be a place his brother would love, he supposed. There was a ring in the center (possibly for sparing) and an assortment of gloves and odd items, that Loki didn’t know the purpose of. It seemed boring, so he moved on.

      Just down the hall, was another training area but it was obviously catered for one avenger in particular. There were different targets all in varying distances. Some even in motion. It was huge; big enough to host a gala. Clint Barton was alone in this oversized room, shooting his arrows one by one and not missing a single target. Perfect, he was alone.

     “Impressive.” Loki was not lying. Barton’s skills always did impress. It was the reason why he was his right-hand man when he had control of him. He listened to Barton and he respected him. That all of course was in the past. Now, Barton despised him normally, but the potion made sure that was no longer an issue.

     “Aren’t you supposed to be with Thor?” It came out cold. Loki wondered if Barton’s hatred was so strong that he could ignore the growing affection inside him. What a battle it must be to have one side of you hate as strongly as the other side loves.

     “You don’t want me here, Barton?” Loki pouted and pretended that he was going to accept that. He was about to turn around and leave when he heard Barton speak.

     “Do you know how to use a bow?”

     “I’m not sure.” Of course, it was a lie. What fool didn’t know how to use a bow, especially when they were forced on hunting trips regularly? Before he had become skilled in throwing daggers, he used a bow frequently on those trips, but Barton did not know this. The man seemed eager to show Loki how it was done, and Loki was not going to stop him.

     Handing him his bow, Barton explained how it worked. It was adorable seeing how passionate the man was about his chosen weapon. Loki did his part as well looking positively clueless and letting the archer position his hands correctly. Handing him an arrow, Barton moved behind Loki to help him with his aim. This was perfect. This would be the best time to seduce the archer and then they could work together like they had before. He would forget his hatred and do anything for him. What would he have him do this time?

     Barton’s hand slid up Loki’s arms as he instructed him how to hold the bow and arrow. Feeling the archer’s body behind him and his hands on his was a little too much for Loki. It made him uneasy. For a moment, he forgot who was seducing who. He knew the man was clever, but now, he had exceeded his expectations. If he wasn’t interested in using this to his advantage, Loki would have ripped away from him, but he didn’t. He felt much calmer than he had when Tony tried to get touchy. He knew Barton. He trusted him.

      The archer’s hands went on his hips pretending that he was trying to position the god correctly, but Loki knew what this was. Barton just wanted to touch him, and he would allow it as long as it made the man more susceptible to suggestion later on. Loki even leaned back against him causing the archer to bring his cheek against his. That was unnecessary. There was no reason he had to have his face that close. Loki should toss him over his shoulder and have the archer know his place. How dare he try to seduce a god!

     No, that would ruin everything. If he was to seduce this man, he couldn’t harm him. He had to endure this. He focused on the target. He had to focus. Should he miss so Barton would have to teach him again? Should he pout beautifully and ask for his help again? Loki was sure Barton would love that, but he was sure he wouldn’t. Despite loving the attention, all this closeness was making him a bit perturbed.

     Hitting the target perfectly, he heard the joy in Barton’s voice. Loki could have done so in his sleep but hearing that joy caused Loki to feel a bit of it himself.  He smiled, proud of himself, though this was nothing to be proud of. He was just pretending. Turning to look back at his instructor, Loki’s nose brushed against his. They were way too close and the look in the archer’s eyes had him froze. That intensity was so familiar. It reminded him of the night before except there was no trace of anger. Was it affection? But this wasn’t mere affection and it wasn’t exactly lust either. Loki remembered his brother’s closeness, it was not unlike this. The look in those eyes wasn’t identical but something about them felt similar. He was too lost in his thoughts to notice Barton leaned in bringing his lips closer to his and-

     “Brother, what are you doing?” He found him! Loki jumped, dropping the bow to the ground and looking away from Barton immediately. What was he doing? Was he about to be kissed?

     “Barton was instructing me on how to shoot an arrow.” Why did he feel guilty? There was no reason to feel guilty! It wasn’t like Loki was with anyone. He could kiss whoever he wanted to kiss. Not that he particularly wanted to kiss the archer but if he did, it wasn’t Thor’s business!

     “But you know how to shoot an arrow!” Thor roared causing Loki to wince. Why was he so angry? Loki hadn’t harmed the man in anyway.

     “Oh, do I? It must have slipped my mind.” Loki smiled at Barton, who had a moment of realization causing a faint blush on his cheeks. Loki didn’t even get to enjoy his expression because Thor immediately grabbed his arm roughly and dragged him from the room. Loki could see the archer’s distress, but he made no effort to save his prince.  He just watched as Loki was dragged out the door and taken out of sight. Some affection he had! Couldn’t even risk trying to save the man he loved? Loki was slammed against the wall of the hallway; his brother’s hand dangerously close to wrapping around his entire neck.

     “I will not stand for this, brother. I will not have you seduce my friends in such a manner.” Thor growled his face almost as dangerously close as Barton’s earlier. Loki recognized the rage in his eyes. It was good to see a familiar emotion in them. Less confusing. Safer.

     “What’s wrong? Upset for once I am the one they admire?”

     “Their admiration for you is not the same as-“

     “As how people admire you? It must be nice not having to use any tricks to gain everyone’s admiration.” Loki pushed Thor from him and dusted himself off. Thor was looking at him confused but remained silent. It was rare his brother ever listened to him. Usually, he would cut him off before he even finished a sentence. Well, if he was going to oblige him now, Loki should say everything he wanted to. “Regrettably for me, I am not like you. I do not gain admiration from everyone I encounter instantaneously. So, unfortunately, I must be satisfied by the admiration bestowed to me by a love potion. I guess there is truth in the Midgardian saying that beggars can’t be choosers.”

     “Brother, I’m not trying to be unkind.” Thor looked hurt but what did he have to feel hurt for? If anyone should be hurt, it should be Loki! “I just don’t want you creating problems for my friends. This will eventually wear off. Brother. I beg you. Use this opportunity to atone instead of creating more mayhem. Please.”

     Atone? Loki felt like laughing out loud. He almost had every man at his mercy and his brother wanted him to use this to atone? There was far too much he had done anyway. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t know where to start. It was best not to bother with it. He should just enjoy the moment and when it did eventually wear off, he’d move on. His life was like that anyway. Momentary joy and then back to emptiness. Atoning would change none of that.

     He looked at his brother, whose eyes had softened a little. Slowly, Thor’s hand brushed his cheek and remained there. His eyes looked deep into Loki’s as if searching for something. It was intimate and neither one of them spoke. What was his brother trying to do? Was he searching for that little brother he kept in the shadows all those years? He was gone. Loki killed him when he learned the truth of himself.

     “Brother.” Thor spoke softly as he brushed some hair out of Loki’s face. “You don’t need tricks to earn my affection.”

     “You love a lie.” Loki pushed his brother’s arm away from him trying not to notice the sadness in the thunderer’s eyes. Everything about them was a lie. Loki pretended to be fine for so long. He pretended that Thor’s friends’ words didn’t bother him. He pretended that his brother telling him to know his place didn’t anger him. He pretended the servants laughing at his expense didn’t hurt him. He lied. He was good at lying. The obedient brother who shadowed Thor everywhere he went was never real. Thor’s brotherly love was for an illusion. Even now Thor still yearned for it and that only made Loki angrier. He moved away from him.

     He didn’t have a concrete plan yet, but he was certain once he did, he would make Thor see the truth. He would let him know that the boy, who was once stuck in the shadows, no longer existed. Force him to look at Loki for who he truly was. Would Thor claim to love him then? Would he still care for him once he realized there was no way they could go back to how they were?

     Loki knew he shouldn’t care. They weren’t really family, so why should he care if Thor continued to care for him or not? But no matter how many times he tried to tell himself to feel nothing, he couldn’t stop the ache in his heart whenever he thought about it.


	6. Brotherly bonding I

     The next day, Thor was determined to keep Loki by his side. He refused to leave the room and even went to the extent of keeping the bathroom door open while he or Loki relieved themselves. It was beyond degrading. He couldn’t even urinate in peace! At least, his brother had the decency to not stare at his back when he did so, but knowing he could simply look over and watch him was disturbing. But Thor did not see the problem with it at all. He was convinced Loki would slip out the window or use his magic to escape somehow if not watched. It was all an excuse, Loki knew. He just wanted to humiliate him. There was another problem that Loki had been worrying about for the past two hours: He was hungry. Thor forbade him from leaving his rooms but did not have his own kitchen. Loki wasn’t going to starve just because his brother decided to keep him locked up like some criminal. Even criminals got food.

      It took a little while, but Thor caved in. Loki had hoped his brother’s stomach would cause him to leave the rooms but instead, he called someone to help him. He heard his brother grumbling about Romanov not picking up her phone. Good. That would mean that he had to choose from one of the men. Loki smiled impishly as they awaited whatever food they would be getting. He really should thank Romanov for neglecting her phone. She made his day.

      There was a strong knock on the door and Thor reluctantly opened it. Before him was a cart that Loki wasn’t sure where it came from. It looked like it may have been used for medical reasons or for the lab. It definitely wasn’t made to cart over food, but he had to admit the idea was resourceful. Did that mean the person pushing it was Bruce? No, he was too timid to knock so strongly. Loki supposed Tony would have knocked a rhythm or something equally annoying. Though, he could be wrong.

      “Good morning, Loki.” Steve greeted bashfully as he pushed the cart into the room. Loki didn’t expect to see him this morning. This was a wonderful surprise.  

     Loki remembered specifically that Thor had asked whoever was on the phone for some breakfast. He never said there had to be an assortment of items. Eggs, bacon, toast with a variety of jams and condiments were all on display. Upon two of the smaller plates next to the main ones were round, golden-brown food items. Were those pancakes? Loki had heard of them, but he hadn’t the privilege of eating any. They must be exceptional since there was apparently an International house dedicated to them. If it was beloved all over the world, it must be Midgard’s prized delicacy.

     Did Steve make this himself? Did he decide to impress Loki with his cooking skills? Loki picked up a fresh apple from the basket of fruit that laid between the four plates. It all certainly looked delicious. Maybe the man accomplished his goal.

     “I made you some coffee as well.” Steve gestured to the mug on the cart.

     “That is divine, my captain.” Loki spoke as he picked up the mug and brought it to his lips. It was delicious but the moan he made was purely for show. Steve blushed and watched as Loki then slowly took a bite of the apple, allowing some juice to slide from the side of his lips. He made sure to keep his eyes on the captain as he did so, resulting in the most pleasing reaction.

     “Thank you for the food, dear friend.” Thor spoke grabbing Steve’s arm. “I attempted to request our meal from Lady Natasha, but alas, she failed to answer her cellular device. No matter, it is better that you take your leave now. I can handle things from here.”

     “I hope you enjoy it.” Steve wasn’t even looking at Thor. He wasn’t even paying attention to him in the slightest. It was like he was air, and Thor was looking quite uncomfortable about it. He kept trying to tug on Steve’s arm gently, but the man just brushed him off. It was then, Loki was shocked to find not only anger in his brother’s eyes but jealousy as well. Overwhelming jealousy. Was he jealous Loki was now receiving his friend’s attentions and he wasn’t? _That’s right._ Loki thought bitterly remembering all the times he felt left out or ignored. _That’s how it feels._

     “Anything you make, my captain, I’ll be sure to enjoy.” Loki assured his admirer. He stepped closer to Steve hoping to tease him more but the moment he moved, so did Thor. He grabbed the mortal’s arm roughly and began forcing him towards the door.

     “Thor, what are you-“

     “You must leave, friend. Your mind is clouded by the enchantment.”

     Steve looked at Thor for a moment with wide eyes before realization flashed over his face. He took a few deep breaths and nodded his head. Loki cursed the man’s self-control. Why must he fight his desires when it would be so easy just to give in?

     “I’m sorry, Thor. I lost myself for a second.”

     “Do not worry yourself. I will make certain my brother does not take advantage of his current circumstance.”

     “Thank you, Thor.” Steve said that, but he looked very disappointed. Maybe he wanted to be taken advantage of. Loki smiled wickedly. _So willing._ “I should go.”

     Steve left voluntarily after that, though he did sneak a few last glances at Loki. Loki made sure to smile at him softly as if inviting him to come back, but the man was too disciplined. He still left. There went his entertainment.

     At least one of them seemed happy now that Steve was gone. Thor excitedly pulled the cart to the side of the bed. He then moved the chair near the cart and allowed Loki to sit in it while he sat on the bed. He smiled at Loki, as he made sure to give his little brother utensils and poured the syrup on Loki’s pancakes for him.

     He talked to Loki again like they weren’t always at each other’s throats. It was like nothing in their complicated history had occurred. They were brothers again and Loki knew not his heritage and had not ruined Thor’s big day. But of course, it was all a lie. There was no way they could go back, but since a happy Thor was easier to manipulate, Loki played along. He allowed Thor to explain Midgardian meals and wax poetic about something called a pop tart. It sounded disgusting, but Loki acted like he was interested; anything to put his brother in a good mood.

     “What is on the agenda today, brother?” Loki asked cautiously. Thor seemed intent to keep him in his rooms and Loki was unsure if even hinting at being bored might make Thor less agreeable. After all, Thor had done a lot lately that Loki didn’t anticipate, and it was leaving him a bit unsure what would be the right things to ask. However, he wasn’t just going to sit around in Thor’s room, eating food off a metal cart, and staring at the walls until his inevitable decent into madness.

     Thor stared at him. Of course, he had no idea what they were going to do today. Loki should have known. His brother was always impulsive and didn’t think things through. After all, he hadn’t considered the food situation, and this definitely wasn’t going to remedy it in the future. They can’t just order food from the common room like they were in a hotel demanding room service. What would his friends think? Thor probably wasn’t even thinking about that either. He probably just thought ‘I’ll keep my brother away from the others’ and didn’t think of anything else. Typical Thor.

     “Well, there is a room for sparring. If it is agreeable to you, we could-”

     “It is not.”

     “Well, I have…” Thor looked around the room as if he was going to find the answers in his empty bedchambers. He didn’t even have a painting on the wall or any decorations. This room was an insult to every person on the planet. Would it kill Thor to have something other than white walls? Would it kill him to have some decoration here or there? Did no one tell him that he should make the room his own?

     “There’s a television down the hall!” Thor said quite proudly interrupting Loki’s thoughts. “Brother, televisions are such sublime devices. You will love it. You will also find no finer seating arrangement than the one laid before it. It is the most comfortable couch in all the land. I can attest to that.”

     Television? Loki knew what they were, and he had no interest. He would rather read something stimulating instead of mindlessly staring at moving pictures. He had seen a few movies. Well, only two. One out of curiosity and the other out of boredom. He just couldn’t see their appeal over a well written book. The scripts of such films where obviously nothing more than worthless dribble. He swore he could write an even better play with much more challenging dialog and captivating emotion than anything these humans could produce. Maybe he would. Maybe that would give him something to do. But alas there was no paper or pen here. So, he would just have to suffer with this agonizing boredom. Maybe he would try to watch a movie. Perhaps he could find one that wasn’t just mindless or full of plot holes.

     “Fine. Take me to this television.” Loki saw his brother grin and hurry towards him. Of course, he would want to grab his arm and drag him there.

     When his brother opened the door, however, he froze. At first, Loki wasn’t sure why but when he looked over Thor’s shoulder, he saw a very surprised Tony Stark. Tony had one hand in the air as if he had been in the action of knocking before the door was swung open. Loki watched him curiously as the man cleared his throat and regained his composure. He, also, saw his older brother’s shoulders tense immediately and felt a strange charge in the air.

     “What are you doing here, Stark?”  Thor growled.

     “Easy big guy. I came to fix the security system on this floor.” Tony didn’t even look at Loki. Either he was telling the truth, or this man was very good at lying. Loki was a master at the craft so, he figured he should be able to tell easily. However, Tony had such a neutral face. Did he find a way to resist the potion or was this something else? A trick? If so, Loki was already impressed. “It’s one thing to have it the way it is for you, but now with Prince  ** _very_**   Charming over there, I think there needs to be some adjustments.”

     “I am capable of minding my brother, Stark. I have no need for your toys.”

     “First off, not a toy. This is a high-tech security system and I take it very seriously. Secondly, I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you aren’t actually good at watching your baby brother.”

     “If the son of Odin cannot contain Loki’s mischief, what makes you think a few adjustments to your security system will?”

     “Don’t underestimate my skills, Point Break.” Tony then finally turned to Loki and gave him a quick wink. So, he was up to something. Interesting. But what did the wink mean? “Obviously, I need access to the hallway but also your room. I’m going to put in a few security measures on the door and that vent.” Tony pointed up to a vent that was situated in the ceiling near the doorway. It was large enough that if Loki tried to squeeze in there, he would most likely fit.

     “I must admit, I did not realize that could be a point of escape.” Thor was now visibly relaxing. It was as if he realized Tony may have actually came for the sake of the team and not his own desire. Loki never relaxed. Tony was clever. Too clever. He knew this was all a ploy but for what end? He was going to make it harder for Loki to escape but that didn’t give him any benefit. Did it?

     What was his goal?


	7. Brotherly Bonding II

     Loki listened to Tony explain to Thor the benefits of having the security system updated. Jarvis, the man’s disembodied servant, would report to Thor the moment the door was opened, or the ventilation shaft was tampered with. Loki would be able to leave the room, provided Thor was with him. However, if Thor had to leave to do anything, he could place his brother in the bedroom and not have to worry about him escaping. Tony, also, would make sure sensors would be on the windows and Loki could be monitored from the hallway. Audio recording would be available (something Tony had left out for Thor’s privacy) just in case he tries to contact anyone from the hallway. Also, Jarvis would alert Thor of any suspicious activity observed in said hallway.

     Thor nodded his head as Tony listed all the benefits. Loki could see he was liking everything about it, but it sounded highly restrictive. How would Tony get past his own security? Would he have some secret code that will have Jarvis ignore Tony’s presence? It would be very clever to do so. He could be monitoring the hallways himself. Then, when he saw Thor leave the floor, he could enter and no one would be there to stop him. Loki wondered if that was the benefit. Was Tony doing this to keep his competitors out and have Loki to himself? If that was so, Loki was highly impressed and a little creeped out.

     “I’ll start in the hallway if you like.” Tony told them.

     “My brother and I were going to watch a movie.” Thor frowned. He apparently didn’t like the idea that Tony would even be in the same vicinity of them. Loki was thankful for that, even if it was a bit annoying. Thor probably saw how very forward Tony was and was trying to protect Loki from being ravished by the mortal. His brother certainly didn’t need to protect him as Loki was more than capable of throwing Tony out another window, but he appreciated the sentiment.

     But Tony would be a good asset to have at his disposal. After all, the man’s intelligence was certainly impressive, and he was able to resist the scepter’s control. When he came to claim Earth, he had Barton give him information of all the Avengers. From what he was told, Tony was possibly the wealthiest man on the planet making him very powerful. He also owned a corporation that once sold weapons and specialized in it. He changed his ways, of course, but this history meant that Tony was good at designing and creating powerful weapons. He was useful, and Loki wasn’t one to not use all resources provided to him.

     His brother and he were sitting on the couch. It did sink slowly once he sat on it, but the softest in all the land? Loki was sure that was debatable. Tony wasn’t far, working on one of the cameras diagonally from them. Loki turned to look his way as Thor chose something for them to watch. He just needed to catch his eye and make him think Loki was interested. If he did, then he would be much more willing to impress Loki with his intelligence.

     It didn’t take long for Tony to look his way and it was at that moment, Loki made every effort to impress. Tony desired him. This he knew, but he needed to know if the man was going to fight those desires like the others tried. So, he bit his bottom lip, fluttered his lashes and did his best come hither look. It was instantaneous. Tony dropped his screwdriver, almost fell off his ladder and licked his lips. Loki shrugged at him in a way he had seen many bar maidens do when they wanted to tease the man of their desires. It had the desired effect of Tony giving a rather suggestive look and eyeing downward. It was an invitation. Loki smiled wickedly but shook his head. Tony pouted immediately which only made Loki smile more. This was more fun than he thought.

     He heard the movie starting up behind him and felt a shift of weight next to him, but he ignored it. He was having way too much fun. Loki pouted back at Tony but a smile threatened to ruin that look. Tony was now leaning towards him using one hand to brace himself on the ladder so he wouldn't fall forward. Loki moved closer to the back of the couch and dramatically pushed his hair back. This interested the billionaire a lot for a moment. It happened in an instant, Tony's flirty expression changed to something more apprehensive. In fact, he was beginning to look downright terrified.  

      Suddenly, an arm wrapped around Loki's shoulder and a hand grabbed the top of his head. The god had no time to protest as the hand twisted his head to look back at the television. Loki stared at whatever mindless movie Thor had picked, as his brother used the arm around him to pull him closer. Loki tried to struggle but Thor’s grip got tighter, and he brought Loki’s head dangerously close to his shoulder. Trying to twist his head, Loki couldn’t get a good look at Tony any longer. Why was his brother ruining everything?

     “Brother, pay attention to the movie.” Thor hissed. Although Loki was in a terrible angle to view the entirety of his brother's expression, he couldn't help but get a sudden chill from it. Thor looked downright murderous. What was his problem? It was just a bit of fun. He wasn't hurting anyone. He couldn't get out of the position he was in now. His head rested on his brother's shoulder and his side was squished against his brother's. 

      So once again, Loki’s plans were foiled by his oaf of a brother. And it had to be in the most humiliating way and in front of one of his admirers no less! How was he supposed to enjoy the film when he couldn't stop thinking about how awkward this position looked from the outside. The movie wasn’t something he was interested in either. So, it wasn't like he could just focus on it and forget his humiliation. Dinosaurs? Weren’t they extinct on Earth? Was this a real place where they kept all their large lizards? Why would they create so many violent lizards if they couldn’t contain them? It was confusing and dull, he didn’t want to watch any more of it.

     He didn't want to remain in this position with his brother either. He could hear Thor's breathing so clearly and when his brother laughed, he could feel it vibrate against his cheek. He, also, smelled that horrible summer rain shampoo he used. The same type that he doused all over Loki when he first came to stay in the tower. It brought back horrible memories. That had to be the reason why his heart was beating so fast. So, naturally, he only took deep breaths to calm his heart. Not because he wanted to smell more of that disgusting scent. It smelled different from when he had it on him. He could smell that subtle under scent of his brother. That smell that was purely him. Loki lifted his head a bit when he realized what he was doing. Wait, what was he doing exactly? Had he gone mad?

     “I need to leave for a moment.”

     “No, you do not.”

     “I need to relieve myself.”

     “I’ll accompany you.”

     “I can do so on my own.” Loki growled. This morning was already humiliating enough with the door left open and Thor commenting on how much he drank. He was not willing to go through that again. Especially, when he didn’t actually need to go. He just wanted some space. He had been spending far too much time with his brother alone. It was driving him insane. “Just stay out here.”

     “I’ll wait by the bedroom door.” Thor reluctantly said, and Loki was glad he was at least willing to compromise. He was, also, happy his brother didn’t want to wait by the bathroom door. Loki was sure with how suffocating his brother had become, he would have his ear to the door and realize that Loki was just hanging out in there. “And, brother! Do not even consider utilizing the ventilation shaft for your escape!”

     Loki was desperate, but he wasn’t that desperate. He wasn’t going to float himself up to the vent and crawl through. Especially, when he had abilities that made that unnecessary. He closed the door to the bedroom and sighed. He had to think of something. He could teleport out of there but where would he go? He could talk to Steve again. He was probably in the common rooms again. Romanov would be there too, though. He shook his head. He could visit Banner in the lab. With Tony here, he was sure the mild-mannered doctor was alone. Ripe for the picking.

     Before he could even focus his powers, he heard an odd noise coming from the vent above. That was strange. When he looked up, he couldn’t see anything in the vent but then again, it was dark up there. Was someone in the vent? Loki shivered a little at the thought. Who would go into a vent to spy on him? Tony would, probably. But he was currently in the hallway, so Loki knew he was innocent. Well, innocent of this.

     This had to be Barton. The man always had a weird habit of being somewhere high and just watching people. It was creepy when he was under Loki’s control but even creepier now. What was he hoping to see? The answer was obvious he wanted to see Loki, but this was very odd. Loki sighed but then smiled wickedly. Might as well give him a show.

     “I feel that I am due a shower, brother. Perhaps, I should take this time to do so.” Loki called out.

     “That is unwise.” Thor responded roughly. “Stark is still in the hallway.”

     There was no way Tony would be able to see Loki bathing from the hallway. Unless he was equipping the cameras with x-ray vision. Even then, all he would see is a very unsexy skeleton. Heat vision wouldn’t work either since Loki didn’t give off a signature. What was his brother worried about? Did he think the man would push him aside and rush to the bathroom just to have a mere glimpse of Loki’s naked form? Tony was too smart to be that suicidal. Loki knew Thor wouldn’t allow anyone in the room. Then again, Tony was an inventive man. He probably would come through the window or something. Not the vents though. Apparently, that was already Barton’s idea.

     Loki laid down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. The vent wasn't directly above the bed. Instead, it was closer to the door than anything else but he could probably still see him. He was probably still watching. With an exaggerated sigh, Loki brought one hand up his abdomen towards his chest; his gray t-shirt, that his brother provided, being brought up with it. There was a slight noise. Probably Barton getting a better view of his slender stomach or he was battling with the urge to come into the room. Loki wished he would. He would enjoy seeing his face as he teased him.

     Licking his lips, he allowed his hand to trail back down towards the top of his pajama pants. He should make this even more interesting. _Let's see how you can handle this._ He heard a sharp intake of breath, as he bit his bottom lip, and slid his hand under the waist band. He wasn’t going to touch himself, but Barton didn’t know that. He let the hand rest on his thigh as he used his other hand to lift his shirt more. He let out a very soft and well-acted moan. Immediately, there was a small bang in the ventilation shaft. Loki smiled. Did poor Barton hit his head?

     “Brother?” Thor sounded very suspicious. He must have spent too long in the room. That or his brother just heard the bang and thought Loki was attempting to do the very thing he was told not to. It wouldn’t be the first time he did something like that after all. He could see the door knob turn and immediately jumped to his feet.

     “Yes, yes, I’m hurrying up.” Loki fixed his clothes and hurried to the door. As he made his way to the now opened door, he almost thought he heard a disappointed groan. Thor looked at Loki confused. Did he hear that too? Loki could tell his brother was very suspicious of him even more than before. If he thought Loki was up to something, he may never urinate in peace again! Thor pressed his lips together and was about to say something before Tony tapped him on the shoulder.

     “I’m all done here. I’ll be in your room.” Tony pointed towards the entrance way and Loki moved out of the way for him to pass. As he walked by him, the man became a little too bold. Loki felt something brush against his thigh. It was light, but Loki felt those finger tips ghost over the front and the side of his right thigh. Looking over, Loki saw Tony smirking quite proud of himself.

     “Come, brother. Let us continue our film.” Thor grabbed him before Loki could say anything to the billionaire. How dare he touch him without his consent! It was true Loki teased him, but he was a prince and a god! Tony should have begged to touch him instead of doing so on his own. He should be on his knees pleading for even the slightest show of affection. Even then, he would be lucky if Loki even genuinely smiled his way. Loki sighed. He’ll teach him eventually.

     They all should beg for his affection. They should fight over the chance to impress him as if he was the only thing in the universe that mattered. They should obey him without a single thought and shower him with nothing but love. Of course, all on Loki’s terms. Soon, they would all learn to worship their prince correctly.  

     Once Loki figured out how to leave the area without being caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to update today because I was in a profoundly good mood. I passed my second board exam! (there were two to become registered in my field) I'm going to soon be out in the real world. Ugh. Scary.


	8. Empathy I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki thinks Thor is growing tired with him. Bruce is more perceptive than he thought and Thor confuses his brother once more.

     “Brother, I will return with some breakfast.” Thor told him first thing that morning. Loki stretched as he sat on the bed in new, correctly-fitting sleeping attire (compliments of one Tony Stark). He had fashionable Midgardian clothes now. All expensive suits and designer accessories to go with them. He even got a few pairs of shoes that all fit him perfectly. He distantly wondered how Tony got his measurements, though. Everything had arrived that night after he upgraded the security system. Boxes upon boxes of the finest clothing. It would be an understatement to say Thor was displeased but he let Loki keep everything.

     “Be warned if you try to leave this room, I will be alerted.” Thor told him as he neared their door.

     “Of course, brother. I will do nothing of the sort.”

     “I wish I could trust you.” Thor turned to look at him and smiled a little glum. It was as if he lost some one dear to him and was thinking of their memory. Maybe he had. Maybe he was realizing Loki was not the same brother he had before. “I’ll speak to someone about acquiring some books for your enjoyment.”

     “I’d appreciate that.” Loki wasn’t satisfied with this outcome. He didn’t like how Thor didn’t trust him and looked at him with such sadness behind his eyes. Was he finally seeing what Loki wanted him to see all along? Did it take him flirting with a few friends to make him realize everything was different? Did he now understand they could never be the same again?

     This was what he wanted. He wanted Thor to look at him differently but no matter how much he imagined it, he didn’t want it like this. He should be satisfied but he wasn’t. He supposed satisfaction was simply not in his nature. Perhaps, nothing would make him satisfied. Nothing would fill this hole in his heart.

     Loki shook his head to rid himself of such sad thoughts. He should be excited not depressed. He was left alone after all. He needed to take advantage of the opportunity. His dull-witted brother thought a few sensors would deter him from leaving the room? Did he not remember Loki could simply teleport? Jarvis might sense he went missing but, as there were no cameras in the room, he doubted he would see him. Would he see him? Is he listening? Loki found the idea of Jarvis unsettling.  

     Where should he go? Obviously, none of the shared areas. Thor would undeniably look there, and one had to pass through the main common room to get to the kitchen. Loki sent his mind out looking for a place he could go. Under a cloak of shadows, he saw Tony alone in his lab. After his brush with him, Loki thought it best to leave him alone though he should thank him for all the clothing. Perhaps later. Barton was speaking to Romanov in the common area and Steve was with Thor in the kitchen. Loki wrinkled his nose when he noticed Thor piling some rectangular pastries on a plate. Those better not be pop tarts.

     Where was Bruce? Was he simply not a morning person? His mind searched all around the tower looking for the doctor. It didn’t take too long to find him. He was alone in his room, reading a book. Thor wouldn’t think to look for him there. It was perfect. So, with a thought he blinked out of the room and into Bruce’s.

     “You don’t seem willing to leave your quarters today.” Loki spoke causing the man to jump. Bruce looked at him with wide eyes as if he couldn’t believe Loki was standing in front of him. He sat up like an alerted prey and moved towards the edge of the bed. Placing the book that he had been reading on the side table, the man sighed.

     “I work in the lab now and then.” He spoke as if him hiding in his room was a normal occurrence. Perhaps it was. “I try not to talk to Tony, but it has gotten worse.”

     “You must forgive me.” Loki spoke softly. “I don’t understand what you are referring to.”

     “Look. I know it is a potion that has me all confused, but I get angry when others talk about you.” Bruce admitted blushing a little. “And Tony loves to talk.”

     Loki understood now what the doctor was trying to say. He remembered back to when he saw Tony speaking to Bruce in the lab a couple of days ago. He had wondered what had made the man so uncomfortable when Tony was addressing him. It must have been about him. Knowing Tony, it probably was something risqué being said about him and sweet Bruce was angry for his honor. That or he was angry for another reason.

    “Jealousy.” Loki guessed out loud.

     “I don’t want the other guy coming out any time soon so, it’s best to stay away.” He didn’t refute it. He honestly was feeling jealous whenever Tony spoke appreciatively about the trickster. After all, the billionaire wouldn’t dare insult him; Loki was the object of his desires. He smiled at the thought. Things just kept getting better and better.

     “I’m wounded. You don’t wish to spend time with me?” Loki pouted trying to guilt the man.

     “Don’t, Loki.” Bruce looked a little pained and tried to look away. It seemed like there was a battle raging on inside him. Perhaps, there always was and now with the added affection, it must be more difficult. “I know you aren’t sincere.”

     “But you desire me to be.”

     “I know you never will be.” There was a sadness in Bruce’s voice. It didn’t sound like the sadness one would have when it was merely about an unrequited love. Within that voice was also the feeling of self-loathing. Loki recognized it immediately. How could he not? He understood what it was like to feel like a monster.

     “Romanov seems to think you are worthy of love. Yet, you do not?” Loki was not empathizing. He was not trying to make Bruce feel better out of the kindness of his heart. He was just trying to get him in a better mood. Yes, that was it. He just wanted Bruce to be happier, so he could control him.

     Bruce looked conflicted. He seemed upset about something and a little worried. Then his face shifted to looking scared then back to appearing gloomy. Loki watched the journey Bruce’s face made silently, trying to figure out why such emotions were invoked by just one question. What was this man hiding? Well, besides a huge, green beast lying dormant inside him.

     “Do you?”

     “Think you are worthy of love?”

     “No, think **_you_** are.”

     “What do you mean?” Loki was caught off guard. Did he slip up and drop his mask for a moment? Did Bruce see when he spoke that Loki understood a part of his feelings? He knew Bruce was intelligent, but he never thought him to be so perceptive.

     “Loki, I’m not going to pretend to know your intentions, but I do notice a few things.” Bruce spoke as if every word had a weight and it was slowly pulling him to the floor. Why did he sound like that? Was he always so down? “Thor has only ever loved you and you reject him constantly. The love we feel is superficial. It feels real, but in the end, it is nothing more than an illusion. Yet, you accept that more readily than the actual love of your brother. You know this has an expiration date. Maybe it feels safer that way.”

     “I’m confused.” Loki murmured, and Bruce nodded.

     “Yeah, you are.”

     Speaking with Bruce was making Loki think of things he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to acknowledge Thor’s love because he already felt like he was losing it. All it took was stealing the limelight from him. That must have been it. Thor did look jealous yesterday and it was probably because his shield brothers were more interested in Loki than him. His brother must have been so use to Loki being in the shadows that he had begun to think that was where Loki was meant to be. Perhaps, Thor could never love him as an equal and only as someone he viewed as lesser. Loki’s lips quirked up a little, but he felt no humor. Thor’s love like the Allfather’s was conditional. If he wasn’t the way Thor wanted him to be, then he didn’t deserve his love. Loki believed this now more than ever. He could never forget the look on Thor’s face this morning. It had to be because of that.

     Perhaps Bruce felt the same way. Perhaps, he felt that love being given to him had to be conditional as well. And if so, who could love a man who became a monster? Loki understood that sentiment more than anyone but where Loki dwelled in his anger, Bruce drowned himself in his torment. He didn’t make eye contact with Loki as if he was an unworthy being that shouldn’t dare look upon the god. It didn’t make Loki feel great. He missed the wonder and affection Bruce held for him when the potion first went into effect. When Bruce wouldn’t stop staring at him. Did Tony say something to him to make him doubt himself? Or was this just what Bruce did? Did he just have moments when he sunk into depression and felt nothing but hatred for himself?   

     Loki felt the urge to do something for him, but he did not know what to do. He did not understand himself either. Why did he care if Bruce was happy? All that should matter is how Loki was going to use him. Feeling any kind of empathy for his enemy was ridiculous. He must be going mad. He had to leave before he felt anymore of this sentiment. Loki informed Bruce he would come see him again. The man smiled softly and looked at him briefly. _Don’t look away._ Loki thought. _I want to see your adoration._

     “I do enjoy my time with you.” Loki found himself saying to the man, and it was as if he had ripped off a heavy weight from the mortal. Bruce’s smile reached his eyes. His warm, tender eyes. Loki couldn’t help but smile back.

     When he left the room, he felt better. It was as if making Bruce feel better made him feel the same. Ridiculous. It must have been a fluke. Loki did not take joy in helping others. Why would he? It didn’t benefit him in the slightest. He must be spending too much time in this tower. Their nobleness was rubbing off on him.

     Shaking his head, he turned to his right only to see his brother looking back at him down the hallway. This was surprising. He was hoping Thor would be elsewhere in the tower looking for him. His brother’s face went from shocked to furious in a matter of nanoseconds. Quickly, Loki started backing up. He saw Thor begin to run towards him. With a small yelp, Loki turned to run but Thor was just as quick. Grabbing his shoulder from behind, Thor flipped him around and slammed him against the wall of the hallway. This was beginning to be a nasty habit of his. Soon there will be a Loki sized dent in every hall way. Not that his brother was pushing him hard enough to cause a dent, but Loki was sure he could get him to be angry enough to. Especially, if he kept crossing the lines his brother kept drawing.

     “Brother, you dare leave your room and trouble Banner as well?” Thor’s eyes held nothing, but pure rage. He definitely was angrier than the other times. Was this because he was giving up on him and now saw him as nothing but an enemy. If so, why did he still bother to call him brother? Why was there sadness behind the rage in his eyes? Why did he feel the need to have his face so unbearably close?

     Loki found himself unable to quiet down his heart at the thought of it. But no matter how afraid he was, Loki was good at pretending. So, he placed a smile on his face and teased, “I dare a lot of things, brother.”

     Thor dropped his hands and looked down troubled. Loki was confused. That was it? He wasn’t going to punch him, fight him, threaten him? Threatening him was Thor’s specialty. Loki had to admit when it came to threats, his brother could become quite creative. At one point he threatened Loki if he spoke another teasing word again, he would tie Loki’s tongue to the bars of the dungeons of Asgard. Loki doubted Thor would be able to do so but it was so amusing to hear. But at this moment, no amusement could be found. Thor looked defeated. It was pathetic and only made Loki angry.

     “Why must you try to seduce my shield brothers?” Thor questioned sounding distressed.

     “I was just speaking to him, brother.” There was no teasing in his voice any longer. Loki didn’t want to make matters worse.

     “I pray for both your sakes that you speak truth.” Both their sakes? What was Thor planning on doing to Bruce if he wasn’t speaking the truth? He didn’t get a chance to wonder about it as his brother grabbed his arm once more. “Let’s go back to our quarters.”

     “Your quarters and no.” Loki pulled away from him.

     “Brother.” It was a warning. A warning that Loki simply didn’t care for. Thor wasn’t the only one losing his patience over the situation. Loki had had enough.

     “You can’t keep me locked up like some sort of animal. You invade my privacy, force me to deal with your interests and forbid me from anything remotely pleasing. This is madness, brother. I cannot face another day locked away in that room.”

     “You have access to the whole floor, Loki. I do not restrict your movements there.” Thor argued looking as if all his energy had been drained by his brother’s complaints.

     “Yet, you follow me no matter what room I choose to go to. Even using the toilet does not provide me any freedom from your gaze.”

     “I don’t watch you.” Thor said irritated like he was being accused of some perverted act. It was as if he didn’t think leaving the door open was any issue, but gazing at him would be crossing the line. Was Loki supposed to assume it was normal just because he didn’t look at him?

     “No, you just listen to me. It’s humiliating.”

     “What more do you wish for?” Thor spoke as if Loki was the one being unreasonable. He looked at him like he was some petulant child, who already had everything he could desire.

     “Freedom.”

     “I cannot allow that. Any freedom granted to you will result in the destruction of this tower.”

     “I wouldn’t go that far.” Loki wasn’t going to ask how Thor thought the entire tower was going to be destroyed just by him flirting with a few men, but stranger things have happened. Thor, also, didn’t look like he wanted to budge one bit, so Loki added, “I will surely go mad if I stay on that floor any longer. There is nothing for me there.”

     There was a silence that came between them. Both looked at each other unsure of what to say. Loki realized that the sadness in Thor’s eyes was all that remained now. He hated it. He didn’t know why but he couldn’t stand to see such a defeated and sorrowful expression. This was not his brother. This was not the way things were supposed to be. However, Loki soon realized that he didn’t even know what he had wanted this to be.

     “I just need a few minutes for myself. I promise I will return to that floor shortly on my own.” Loki hated how weak he sounded. He hated how weak he felt under his brother’s eyes. Perhaps, he miscalculated how he would feel when his brother had had enough of him. Maybe Loki pushed harder because he always expected Thor to pull back just as hard.

     “You need but mere seconds to create more mischief.”

     “I will be on my best behavior.” Loki was lying. His brother gave him a look that told him that he knew that, but he pressed on. “Brother, don’t make me beg.”

     Thor stared at him hard before he reached out his hand. For a moment, Loki was sure he was going to grab his arm and drag him towards the elevators, but he didn’t. He instead brought his hand to the side of his neck in an affectionate gesture that Loki thought he no longer deserved. Wasn’t Thor tired of him? Wasn’t he no longer seeing him the way he used to? What was he doing?

     Loki didn’t understand. He prided himself on knowing how to read others. He was so sure he knew Thor better than anyone; including himself. So, why did he not understand? Why did Thor look like he was giving up only to now, hold him like he didn’t want to let go? Why was his brother’s body nearing his? Why were their noses now almost touching?

     Loki’s heart pounded in his chest. He looked into his brother’s eyes hoping to recognize the emotion. He couldn’t. He could see sadness and affection but there was something else in those eyes. Something that frightened him because he couldn’t understand what it was. He wanted to rip out of his brother’s grasp. He wanted to push him away and shout at him, but he couldn’t. That look held him tightly against his will.  _Get angry, you brute._ He found himself growing frustrated. _Fight me. Yell at me. Anything but this._

     “Pray that you behave.” His brother finally spoke and for a moment, Loki didn’t realize what he was referring to. Slowly, his brother moved away from him and that warm hand, which had cradled his neck, left. Loki unconsciously touched his neck finding that he missed the warmth. “I’ll be waiting for you in our quarters. It would be wise not to make me wait long.”

     With that, Thor left Loki staring dumbly at his retreating form. What was that? Why was he acting like this? This place wasn’t good for his health! Why did he even think messing with the Avengers was a clever idea? It only brought him more confusion and feelings he didn’t want to feel.

     Calming himself, Loki walked down the hallway alone. Well, not really. He hadn’t noticed before because he was too busy dealing with Thor, but he wasn’t the only one left in the hall. He straightened up and tried to put on the air of confidence. He couldn’t let any of his admirers worry about him, now could he?

     “I can sense you, you know.” Loki stated turning to look behind him. There stood a very guilty and red-faced Clint Barton. Following him again? It seems the Avengers’ dear Hawkeye couldn’t get enough of the trickster. Loki smiled wide.

     He may only have a moment to be free but there was no reason it had to be boring.


	9. Empathy II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki learns a lot about Clint.

     Thor had left the floor entirely and Bruce was still hidden in his room. That left the hallway for just the two of them and Loki couldn’t ask for anything more. Barton seemed the most eager to please aside from Tony. However, Loki was sure Barton wouldn’t try anything too bold unlike the billionaire.

     “So, you were talking to Bruce?” It was the first thing Barton asked after Loki caught him following him. There was no shame. There were no excuses.

     “Are you jealous, Barton?” Loki teased.

     “Should I be?” Barton looked at him a little worried, but didn’t press the subject when Loki remained quiet. He probably figured Loki was quiet because of something other than imagining all the Avengers fighting over him. It was a wonderful image. He’d even egg them on by telling them he would kiss the victor. It would be horrible if the Avengers dissolved over him. What would Midgard do without their heroes?

     Loki smiled at the thought, but noticed it probably looked out of place for Barton. After all, the man just asked him if he should be jealous, and Loki was just standing there smiling like a maniac. Probably wasn’t the best response. Clearing his throat, Loki decided to change the subject.

     “Do you follow me everywhere? Or is this a recent behavior?” Loki was amused to find a shameful blush on Barton’s face. Moving closer, he pressed his front against the mortal’s. He leaned in, placing his lips by his ear. “I already know the answer. I heard you in the ventilation shaft above my bedroom. Did you like how I was laid out beneath you?”

     The archer took in an unsteady breath. Loki turned his head to brush his nose against the man’s ear, causing him to quiver beneath him. Barton didn’t even move. He wasn’t bold like Tony and wasn’t trying to touch him without question. He had gotten touchy the last time they were this close, but the man had an excuse. A flimsy one, but an excuse nonetheless. Moving back, Loki noticed an odd little bud in the man’s ear.

     “Is that a listening device?”

      “Ah, no.” Barton moved back and touched his ear. “They’re my hearing aids.”

     Hearing aids? Loki assumed they did what the name suggested: Aided in his hearing. But why would he need something like that? Did he have troubles with his hearing? He was under Loki’s control once and the god had asked him to tell him everything. He thought at one point this would have been brought up. Why hadn’t Loki known?

     “You were under my influence once. You never-“

     “Yeah, it’s not important.”

     “You have hearing problems.”

     “Problems? No, it’s not a problem at all.” Barton smiled softly and shrugged. “80% hearing loss. But that’s not all of me. It’s just something about me.”

     “Why didn’t I-“

     “Probably because I don’t talk about it often.” The archer waved his hand as if the issue was nothing. Perhaps to him, it was but Loki couldn’t imagine it.  “Do you talk about how amazingly beautiful your eyes are all the time?”

     Loki could see that this conversation did not damper Barton’s confidence. Did he think he had a chance just because of a bit of flirtation? Well, a lot of flirtation but that still didn’t mean anything. Loki was just teasing. He didn’t actually want to hold the archer in his arms. The very thought of it made him feel unsettled. It wasn’t that Barton wasn’t a good man. It was just the simple fact Loki felt nothing for him in a romantic sense. So, no amount of flattery was going to make him fall for the archer anytime soon.

      “So, without these devices you wouldn’t be able to communicate.” Loki spoke as he brushed the top of Barton’s ear with his fingertips. For some reason, it made the archer move away. That was different.

     “Wrong.” He told him as he touched the same spot Loki touched earlier. He didn’t seem like he didn’t like it. In fact, he was blushing a bit. “Sign language is a thing and I so happen to be very good at it.”

     Was this a sensitive subject? Was that why he moved away? Loki needed to know what the right thing would be to say and yet he couldn’t think of anything. As a prince, despite his adventures and long-life span, he hadn’t the chance to meet people like Barton. Perhaps they were around but as a Prince, most villages didn’t encourage him to talk to the common folk. Loki never bothered to know the people beneath him, and why should he? They weren’t worth his time, but he could hardly say that for Barton. He was a discerning and talented man. He was a great asset. If Loki had spoken to the common people, would he had met people like the archer? Perhaps then he would know what to say.

     “Don’t look at me like that.” Barton must have misinterpreted his pensive expression for pity towards him. “I’m not disabled. I have a disability but that isn't the same thing. You’ve seen me in battle. Do you think I’m disabled at all?” Loki shook his head to answer him as his words failed him. He never underestimated the archer and he was not going to do so just because of a small detail. That was what it was wasn’t it? A small detail that really had no consequence. The archer was the same as he always was. Barton pointed at his ears and smiled.  “Even without these things, I could still live a perfectly fine life. My only regret would be not hearing your voice.”

     “That would be a shame.” Loki purred and placed his hands on the sides of the archer’s arms. The man smiled pleased as his own hands met Loki’s hips. They were hesitant but, in the end, Barton kept his hands there. Loki would allow it as long as he didn’t plan on moving them anywhere more intimate.

     “It would.” Barton brought his face closer to the trickster’s. Loki found himself gulping. Here it was again: That look. The last time he saw it, the archer was attempting to kiss him. Loki should pull away. What excuse should he give?

     Thor was waiting for him upstairs. It would be the perfect excuse. If he blamed his brother, Barton wouldn’t feel that Loki wasn’t interested. He would understand that Loki had limited time. However, before he could even speak, the archer did first. “I’m married.”

     “What?” If this was Barton’s idea of seduction, it was by far the worse idea he ever had. Unless this was some sort of cultural difference Loki never thought he would find. Did Midgardians enjoy the idea of stealing a taken person? It’s not like Asgard didn’t have its share of adulterers. However, it was still frowned upon and kept secret mostly. Asgardians didn’t actively seek people in a relationship. It wasn’t some fetish.  He was sure there was probably a whole subset of humans that fetishized such relationships, but that just spoke more on how depraved humans were on their own. This was just another reason why they needed subjugation. They had such polluted thoughts when left to think freely. Not that Loki’s thoughts were always clean, but he had boundaries at least.

      “I’m sorry it’s just. You should know.”

     “You have a wife?” Loki couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t joking. This wasn’t some sort of ploy. Barton actually had a wife. “What more do I not know?”

     “Look, I just didn’t say anything about them.”

     “Them?”

     “I have kids too.”

     “You’re a father?” Loki pushed him away in shock. All this time, he never knew any of this. “You have a family?”

     “I know this is temporary.” Barton glanced down looking guilty. His hands slowly made it back to his side. “I won’t love you forever, but I haven’t spoken to my wife since this all happened. I miss my kids though.”

     “Would you leave her for me?” Loki was just curious. He wasn't really asking the archer to do so, but he had to know. How strong was this potion? How willing would Barton be to obey him?

     “I shouldn’t.”

     “Then don’t.” Loki couldn’t believe what he was doing but the thought of depriving some child of their father didn’t bode well for him. How many children did this man have? Why was he even at this tower? He should be home with his children. They probably missed him. _Missed him…_

     For some reason, Loki began to remember when Odin would leave to keep the peace in the nine realms. Either to visit some foreign dignitaries and/or quell any future uprising against Asgard. He remembered how foolish he was back then missing his not-father. He would worry for him and count the days that he was gone. His mother would always come and soothe him. He didn’t really know why he worried at all, he and his father were never close. Why miss him? Did he miss all the times his father looked at him in disapproval? Did he miss all the times his father compared him to Thor? What was wrong with him? Why did he miss his father back then? He had been such a foolish child.

     “Shouldn’t you be telling me to leave her?” Barton’s words brought Loki out of his thoughts. Did he really think so little of him? Did he think that Loki would take him away from his family just to have his adoration? He had no desire to be someone’s mistress. He was not interested in destroying his family.

     “Why? I am not here to rob your children of their father.” Loki admitted quietly. “I’m not like that.”

     “I want to be with you. I, also, want to stay with them.” The archer didn’t attempt to come closer giving Loki space to think about the matter. “This is so confusing.”

     “I know. I’m flattered.” Loki told him. “But I will end this, if you dare leave your family for me.”

     “But it’s wrong to want both.”

     To want both. For some reason, it brought the image of Thor in his mind. Of course, it did. Loki wanted his brother to see him as more than the little brother he kept in the shadows. He wanted Thor to admit they were not brothers. He wanted the lie to end but, at the same time, he didn’t want to lose his brother’s affections. He didn’t want to be abandoned by the one person, who looked at him with more than distrust and disdain. He wanted both.

     But could he even have both? It seemed impossible since Thor only loved him as the little brother he walked all over. Would he even care for him when he realized they were never brothers and never will be? Could a man still hold affection for another even after such ties had been broken?

     “Who made these rules?” Loki found himself growling more at himself than the archer. “Adore me all you want.” He moved back into the archer’s space and placed a hand on his cheek. Barton smiled softly but still looked a little conflicted. “Contact your wife. Inform her that you are well, and you will see her soon.”

     With that, Loki moved away from Barton who nodded obediently. _That’s right. Do what I command._ Slowly, the man searched his pockets for a cell phone. It looked different from the one Thor had earlier. Perhaps it was his personal phone, but it looked more antiquated. This was good though. Barton was being obedient and that meant Loki could use him in the future for any of his plans. Perfect. 

     Barton was such an interesting man. He had so much that lesser people would have allowed to hold them back. He was an accomplished agent despite having a family waiting for him at home. Families could be used against people like him, but it didn’t deter him one bit. Probably because he kept them a secret from others, but it must be hard to do so. Then he, also, had to rely on those hearing aids or maybe he didn’t. Maybe he just used them to communicate with the others in a way they were used to. Loki doubted he needed his ears to see a target and Barton did say he could communicate in other ways. Still, the prince couldn’t imagine what it was like, but he could see that it didn’t hinder the man in anyway. He was remarkable.

     If the archer could do so much despite everything, what was saying Loki couldn’t? What was holding him back? Nothing. Loki couldn’t see anything that could hold him back. His brother? Thor would try to hold him back but, in the end, he would see the truth. Loki felt himself worrying again about his brother’s affection. If Barton could have his family and be able to adore Loki, who is to say Loki himself couldn’t have both his brother’s affection and respect? He could. He would. Suddenly it felt like a weight had been lifted from him. He felt much better than before.

     “Barton.” Loki interrupted him as he began dialing. “Thank you.”

    “For what?” The archer asked confused, but Loki just smiled softly.

     “I don’t even know.”


	10. A Taste of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor allows Loki an hour of freedom. An hour to flirt with Clint, steal Nat's crush and decide to help a friend in need.

     When the next morning came, Thor refused to leave Loki alone in the room. He went back to being overbearing as if it was not making Loki slowly drift into madness. He even got Romanov to bring up breakfast, which consisted of only pop tarts. She must have known somehow that Loki would abhor the pastries. She even smirked at him when Thor coaxed him to take a bite. She would pay for this indignity. They would all pay!

     The pop tarts were absolutely horrid. They tasted like fruit, but he doubted any real fruit was used in its creation. It was all very artificial, and Loki hated even the stiff, gooey texture of the gel inside. Thor seemed to love it, as he shoved one right after another into his mouth. He allowed crumbs to fall all over his beard while devouring them in an unseemly manner. He probably loved the pastries because he didn’t take enough time to actually taste them. Loki liked to enjoy his food, taking small bites. How any woman could look at Thor massacring his food and find that attractive was beyond him. Loki was always the picture of etiquette. He acted as how a prince should. Thor acted like a vagrant he took off the streets and had been offered food, after days of starving. After a few bites of the horrid pastry, Loki realized he just couldn’t stomach this any longer.

      “You cannot hold me here.” He dropped the pastry onto his plate with a loud clink. It was that hard.

     “Brother, I can’t trust you.” Thor didn’t even wait until his mouth was free from food to speak. Clearly, Odin’s favor did nothing to teach him proper table manners.

     “Yesterday, you gave me a few minutes of freedom and none of your friends came to harm.”

     “It is not harm I worry about.” Thor ceased his chewing and stared at him hard. Loki wrinkled his nose as Thor then took one hand to brush the crumbs from his beard. Disgusting.

     “Just one hour of freedom, Brother.” Loki hated begging. He would rather go back to Asgard and face Odin’s judgement than kneel in front of his brother. But desperate times call for desperate measures. He did not kneel, but he pouted. If he had time to think, he wouldn’t have used this tactic. However, it worked with all his admirers, and he could only hope it would work with his brother. So, he did his best to give the saddest look he could muster.

     Thor almost choked on whatever was left of the pop tart he devoured. That was interesting. Loki wasn’t expecting a reaction quite like that. Perhaps his feign sadness took Thor by surprise. That must be it. He must have been shocked by Loki debasing himself this way. Hurriedly, Thor took a sip of water to hold off any further coughing.

     “Stay in the communal area and allow myself or Lady Natasha to be present.” He was allowing Loki time out of this room. Sure, he would have babysitters but that was just the beginning. Once Thor was comfortable with this arrangement, he could ask for more time. Then he may be allowed time alone without watchers. Loki smiled.

     “I agree.”

     Loki decided to get some real food in the kitchen, under Romanov’s watchful eye. She teased him about not liking the pop tarts, but Loki didn’t say a word to her. She was just there to watch him not converse. So, he just glared at her as he grabbed a banana from the counter. Finally, real fruit.

     Steve wasn’t in the common area this morning, which put a damper on his mood. Loki had been hoping he would get a chance to speak with him. He did enjoy his reactions to his teasing. He looked around the area. In fact, there was no one there to mess with. It was just him and Romanov. Just great.

     Loki peeled the banana and sighed. What could he even talk to her about? He did respect her or at least, he knew not to underestimate her. But that didn’t really translate to topics one could speak about. He knew she wanted to talk about the pop tarts, since his face was apparently “adorable” when he was suffering their taste. There is nothing adorable about his agony. Those pastries were created from the depths of hell.

     He took a large bite out of his banana, hearing a loud audible gasp from above. Above? Looking up, he saw Barton leaning over the railing on the above floor. How did he know he was here? Was he just in the right place at the right moment or did he have some hidden power he was hiding? The man was pretty good at keeping secrets.

     “Hello, Barton.” Loki greeted him when he came down the stairs.

     “You can call me Clint.”

     “Clint, how are you?” Loki smiled up at the man as he saw Romanov glare at him from afar. “Have you been minding our air ventilation system lately?”

     This made the archer’s face turn red. He glanced over at Romanov who seemed to stare at him confused. This just made Loki smile wider. It was like a secret between the two of them. Something that they alone could share. Only they knew about what Clint had done and Loki wasn’t about to explain it to the agent; neither was Clint.

     “No, I find it easier just to walk up to someone, but I have a problem.”

     “What is that?” Loki was curious about what kind of problem the archer could have. Did he have trouble with his family? Did he tell his wife he was in love with Loki? Was she leaving him?

     “This guy I like. He’s just ridiculously out of my league.”

     “That sounds terrible.” Loki couldn’t suppress his smile. This wasn’t a problem at all.

     “Yeah, he’s super-hot, smart and has the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard.”

     “Anyone I know?”

     “Maybe.” Clint sat down beside him with a shy smile.

     Loki enjoyed the teasing nature of the conversation, but it wasn’t that pleasing with an audience. Romanov didn’t stray from watching their interaction with a strangely blank face. What was her deal? Was she angry, intrigued, amused, what? Loki found it completely unsettling, but he didn’t want her to know. So, he turned back to Clint and smiled.

     “Do you have any pictures of your family?”

     “I don’t carry pictures. No one really knows but you and Nat over there.”

     “Ah, pity.” Loki frowned. He didn’t like the idea that Romanov was privy to this confidential information before he was. He once controlled Clint’s mind and had his absolute loyalty. If anyone should have known, it should have been him not her. Loki shook his head. It was a petty thing to be angry about. Everyone was entitled to their secrets even his followers.

     Loki looked over at Clint to see he was mirroring his frown. This must have looked awful for him. One minute they were teasing and the next the mood was destroyed. He had to salvage this somehow. Loki smiled softly and said, “I would have loved to see their cute little faces.”

     “Maybe some other time.” Clint nodded and smiled back. “They are great kids.”

     “Tell me about them.”

     Loki didn’t actually care to know about the children, but he could see Clint cared about them deeply. He started talking about the older of the two. He talked about how smart his son was and how well he was doing in his lessons. Clint then talked about his daughter having a tea party and how he even dressed up for the event. That made Loki genuinely chuckle. To imagine the Avengers’ Hawkeye with a pink tiara and matching boa was hilarious. He liked the girl’s style.

     They sounded wonderful. Loki didn’t know why but he felt a pang in his chest when he saw how Clint spoke of them. The man was happy. No matter if they could be used against them. No matter how much glory he would find without them, he was content to be with them. It was a little-known fact and one that Loki would never admit to, but Loki always had a soft spot for children. Some may say he was actually pretty good with them as well. It was ridiculous, but he just really enjoyed their company.

     Clint stopped talking when he noticed another person entering the room. He eyed Bruce nervously as the doctor looked over at them curiously. Loki smiled at Bruce receiving a shy quirk of his lips and a turn of the head. Still not confident yet.

      “You want to go somewhere?” Clint asked standing up. Loki smiled and allowed the man to grab his arm, bringing him to his feet. Loki didn’t mind the archer leading him up. He wasn’t rough with the action unlike a certain brother of his. Besides, Loki liked the idea. It would be nice to get out of Romanov’s watchful gaze.

     “He isn’t allowed out of mine or Thor’s sight.” Romanov told him and of course, Clint didn’t react well to it. He tried reasoning with her, but she did not want to hear it. With a sigh, she grabbed Clint’s hand and tore it off Loki’s arm. “Clint, just walk away.”

     There was no reason why the archer had to leave. Just because he wanted him alone for a few minutes was no reason for Romanov to tell him to go. They were just talking before. Clint could sit back beside him and continue their conversation without an issue. Well, they would have to change the subject since Bruce was in the room.

     However, instead of sitting down and resuming their conversation, Clint just stood there looking pensive. It couldn’t be that Clint still had some control left. Loki was sure he had made the man as obedient and love sick as he could be. The man practically stalked him! Surely, he wouldn’t be able to resist him.

     And yet he did. He looked at Romanov as if she had just woken him out of a dream. He nodded his head and gave a sorrowful look towards Loki. The god in turn gave his own pitiful look in hopes of changing the archer’s mind. _Don’t give up now_. He thought. _I was so close._ But reason once again took over Clint’s mind, and he said his goodbyes. He took Loki’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as he promised to see him later. _I don’t want to see you later. I want you to obey me._ In the end, he left.

      “So, what is your plan? Going to use his family against him?” Romanov questioned the moment Clint was out of hearing distance.

     “I will do nothing of the sort.”

     “So, you want to ruin his life? Have an affair and make him divorce his wife?”

     “Is that what you think of me?” Loki was growing more irritated by the second. He knew he wasn’t the picture of good behavior, but why did everyone assume he would sink that low? Well, he did like the idea of ruining someone’s life, but the children didn’t deserve it. He couldn’t take their father from them.

     “Well, you aren’t exactly showing me a different picture here.”

     “I would never destroy a happy family. I can tell he loves them very deeply.”

      “Good because I would never let you try.” Romanov said It as if she was capable of besting Loki in a fight. How amusing. She rolled her eyes once she noticed Loki’s smile. “Well, it’s been fun.”

     “I still have twenty minutes.” Loki knew how long he had. He was going to milk every last second of it. The longer he was free from his brother’s poor movie choices and terrible meals, the better.

     “Yes, Thor is coming to finish watching you.”

     “Are you going to leave me by myself until he gets here?” Loki couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful. Bruce was still in the room. If all he had was even two minutes before Thor came, he was sure he could get something done. The doctor seemed hesitant before, but he was sure with the right words, he would go back to adoring him openly like everyone else.

     “I’m not crazy.” Romanov told him sounding a little irritated. She peered over to where Bruce was sitting. He was alone at a small, round table which would probably be great to play cards at. There were three chairs around it and Loki couldn’t see how three people could eat there comfortably. Especially, when you add huge people like his brother. Romanov’s sigh brought him back to looking at her. Her sight still held nothing but Bruce, and she spoke distractedly. “I’ll still be in here just…”

     So, that was what it was. She was hoping to speak with Bruce unbothered by Loki’s presence. She probably chased Clint away, so she wouldn’t have to worry about him being used by the trickster. Loki felt a little offended. It wasn’t like he was going to eat the man; though, he was sure Clint wouldn’t mind if he did. There was no reason to chase him off. If she hadn’t, she could have had Bruce to herself. Loki was sure that was what she wanted. He could recognize the longing in her stare.

      “What is it that you like about him?” He was merely curious. Bruce did give the most beautiful look of adoration, but relationship wise? Loki really couldn’t see Bruce being in one. Not with how hesitant and withdrawn he was. He needed to have more confidence in himself before he gave a relationship a chance.

     “He’s a good man.” She mumbled distractedly but made no effort to walk over to the doctor. Bruce wasn’t even paying attention to her. His shy glance only went in Loki’s direction and the god couldn’t help but feel a bit smug about it.

     But no matter how he felt about holding the doctor’s attentions, Loki hated the lack of action from either party. Was someone going to talk to someone? Was he just going to sit here while the two of them just look at their respective desires? This was going nowhere. This was boring, and he expected better from Romanov. She seemed like the type to make the first move. What was she hesitant about? Was it because Bruce clearly seemed more interested in Loki instead of her? Because if it was, he couldn’t blame her for feeling a little inadequate. It’s not every day you have a god as your competition.

     “Hello, Bruce.”  If Romanov wasn’t going to make her move, Loki was. The doctor looked up at him with all the adoration in the world. Like if Loki was some sort of answer to all his questions in life.

     “Hey, Loki.” He looked down shyly. “How are you?”

     “Wonderful. I only have twenty minutes, but I was hoping to spend them with you.”

     Bruce looked conflicted for a moment. It was as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted this but soon a small blush graced his cheeks. He then hesitantly looked at Loki before jumping up nervously. He grabbed a chair beside him and pulled it back.

     “Of course, have a seat.” He gestured to the chair he pulled out. Such a gentleman.

     “I’m glad to see you out of your room.” Loki spoke as he sat down in the chair slowly. Bruce even pushed him towards the table. Loki had to admit, he liked this sort of attention. He always did prefer Bruce’s affection after the love potion took root. It was good to finally be treated like the god he was.

     “Are you sure about this, Loki?” There was Romanov feeling a little anxious that she didn’t make the first move. Loki almost pouted at her to mock her. What was that Midgardian saying? You snooze you lose?

     “Weren’t you going somewhere, Romanov?” Loki teased, and he could see the fire behind her eyes being lit. It was like Loki was the match and he knew just how to spark anger. He had to hand it to her though. She was doing the upmost to make it subtle. But for someone as perceptive as the good doctor, Loki was sure it was obvious.

     “Hey.” Bruce spoke meekly. “Let’s just get along okay. Don’t worry, Nat. We’re just talking.”

     Trying to be a peace keeper? Loki didn’t understand why Bruce felt the need to calm the two of them down. He had his own problems to worry about after all. It wasn’t like Romanov was going to act upon what she felt. She wouldn’t last a few seconds against Loki. Also, it wasn’t like Loki was interested in fighting her either. He only wanted to tease her. He wasn’t interested in petty fights over a man.

     “Your brother is here.” Romanov said and decided to leave rather tensely as Thor entered. His brother looked rather suspicious of him, narrowing his eyes at both him and Bruce. Loki realized he missed the Russian woman already. He hadn’t experienced such a tense feeling directed at him since the time Thor’s friends saw him on the throne of Asgard.

     “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier with Romanov.” Loki spoke trying to ignore the heat of his brother’s stare.

      “No, it’s fine.” Bruce shifted uncomfortably. Did he feel it too? “I just don’t want two people I care about fighting each other. Arguments can become more, and I know how that ends.”

     The last part was said with so much sorrow. Did something happen in Bruce’s past that made him feel such a way? Was there some argument in the past that ended badly? How badly? He couldn’t just ask him. It may be a terrible memory and Bruce could lose control. Instead, he tried to talk about general things. Safer things. He tried some light flirting and asked him about his PhDs. Apparently, Bruce had seven, which Loki assumed was a bit excessive. But what did he know? He didn’t even really understand the concept of PhDs.

     “Brother, it’s time to go.” Thor said irritated and Loki honestly didn’t notice time had flown so quickly.

     “I feel like I barely got to talk to you.” Loki whined but Bruce just nodded sadly.

     “It’s probably for the best.”

     Loki couldn’t take this anymore. Bruce was an intelligent and gentle man. He didn’t deserve to look so down or feel inadequate in any way. He wanted Bruce to be more confident and not just stare at what he wanted without moving. What was holding him back? The man thought he was a monster, Loki knew that. Perhaps there was more to the story. Perhaps there was more pain in his past than Loki had realized. But the trickster still believed the same thing no matter the circumstance: Bruce, himself, was not a monster. He had to prove it to him. He had to show Bruce the truth.

     “Come with me.” Loki put his hand on the doctor’s with a small smile.

     “Brother.” It was a warning growl, but Loki once again ignored it.

     “My apologies.”

      With that, the trickster held Bruce’s hand and blinked both of them out of the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long but it almost was a lot sadder. So, at least it isn't that. Thank you for taking the time to read it :D


	11. The Monster Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries to cheer up Bruce and ends up dealing with a new type of monster. One of the green-eyed variety.

     Bruce was panicking. Loki supposed he should have expected as much. Midgardians lived such dull, uneventful lives that even a simple thing like teleporting from one room to another must be terrifying. But Bruce was being a bit excessive. He should have calmed down by now. Loki even made sure not to leave the comfort of the familiar to placate the man. He didn’t need Bruce becoming overly stressed and then find himself talking to the beast. If this was going to be for the doctor’s benefit, he could not have him transform.

     Perhaps it would have been better to transport them into Bruce’s room. It would have made him calmer, but Loki knew that would be the first place Thor would look. If he wanted time to speak to Bruce before being inevitably caught, he would have to go somewhere no one would think he would go.

     But he had chosen the hanger, materializing next to the quinjet. It wasn’t the ideal location, but he knew they wouldn’t be disturbed here for quite some time. Thor would be tearing through each floor one by one and probably wouldn’t even think to look here. Loki decided to use a spell to cause the cameras there not to work. No sense in showing the others their private conversation. It would tip off Tony of their location, but that would only be a problem if Tony wanted to tell Thor where he was. He was sure the billionaire would like to spend time with a newly freed Loki without his brother breathing down his neck. So, Loki figured he would count on him not saying anything. Not arriving here was a different story but Loki would deal with things as they came.

     However, despite all his considerations, Bruce was still asking questions upon questions in a panic. There were the usual questions like where they were, how did they get there, etc. Loki did his best to calmly answer all of them. Then there were the weird questions like Bruce asking if all his cells and molecules were in the same place. Loki assured him that they were fine, but the truth was, he had no idea. He never really thought of it. He just knew the spell, how to execute it and that it took him one place to another. He understood the concept of the energy that engulfed him, the small portal he created to take them to another area. What happened when they went through though, at the molecular level, he didn’t know.

      He figured it was more like a doorway he opened. Doorways don’t usually have an effect on the person walking through. He wasn’t instantly transmitting himself somewhere, that would be reason enough to worry about what went where. It was, also, a dangerous concept because you would have to focus on all of your body to make the spell right. One mistake and you were dead or terribly disfigured. No, Loki’s way was safer. He just threw them through a portal of his own making with such a speed, that it looked like a blink. Loki never experienced any adverse reactions to it. So, he just figured it was safe. No one ever recorded adverse reactions in the books he had read. Bruce didn’t need to know that he wasn’t sure, though. Might worry him. It was better he didn’t mention it.

      “Thor’s going to be pissed.” Bruce nervously laughed as he rubbed his own arms.

     “I am not concerned with my brother’s emotions at the moment. I care more about yours.”

     “I’m flattered but I know you don’t mean it.”

     “Bruce.” Loki hated how Bruce discounted everything the trickster was doing for him. He did mean what he said. He didn’t know why but he did. “Believe me. I may not have romantic feelings for you, but I do care.”

     The doctor shook his head like he couldn’t believe what Loki was saying. He, also, seemed gloomier which Loki didn’t think was possible. Did admitting that he had no romantic feelings for him make it worse? It had to have. Bruce loved him after all. Nothing stung in the way knowing someone you love didn’t love you back did. Loki knew that better than anyone.

     But it was the truth. Loki was not lying to Bruce when he said he cared. He couldn’t lie and tell him he loved him when he didn’t. Well, he could have. He should have. Bruce might have been happier, but Loki just didn’t. He wanted to be honest for once.

      “It’s not because of the beast that I don’t want you that way.” Loki clarified.

     “Yeah, right.” The doctor said suddenly with a hint of bitterness. “The Hulk crushed you when you fought him. Remember?”

     “Oh, I remember.” How could he forget? He still had nightmares of the beast breaking his bones in the process. Of course, Loki healed quickly but it was traumatic. His only comfort was that the beast was now in love with him. So, even if he came out, Loki was sure it wouldn’t happen again. But that didn’t make the feel of dread leave whenever he thought of seeing the beast again. “Even so, you are not a monster, Bruce. Romanov thinks so as well. You are a good man.”

     “Nat.” Bruce looked off from him with a smile as if thinking of the agent.

     “You like her.” Loki smiled softly. That was a good thing. So, why did Bruce look so torn? Was it because of his attraction to Loki?

     “Before the potion, I did like her. But even if I still do, I’m not going to pursue her.” Bruce admitted solemnly. “I think it’s best that I don’t get with anyone.”

     “Why?”

     “You know why.”

     Of course, Loki knew why. That was the whole reason they were in the hanger where no one else was. It was the whole reason he wanted privacy in the first place. He had to do it. He had to get Bruce to understand but he was afraid. He was afraid that the looks of adoration, the man gave him now, would be replaced by disgust.

     “We all have our monsters.” Loki told him somewhat hesitantly. “Some would say I’m a monster.”

     “It’s not the same.”

     “Is it?” He had to do it. No matter how afraid he was. It had to be now. He reached deep inside himself. He felt the coldness hidden beneath the many layers of lies Odin gifted him. He focused on bringing it forward. He watched his pale hands turn blue and the raised lines of his heritage come into view.

     It was a good thing he was wearing that ridiculously tight t-shirt Tony gave him. The man was so good at getting his measurements for suits and pants, but this shirt sat on him like a second skin. He had no idea how Steve could stand wearing things like this (since he seemed to on a normal basis), but he was grateful. After all, the short sleeves would show Bruce more of his monstrous form. It wouldn’t be as effective, if he had long sleeves and could only show blue hands and a face.

     Bruce watched in awe as Loki changed before him. He didn’t utter a word and just looked him all over. He must have appeared too different. After all, the potion had the man love his pale version, did it still work while he held this form? Looking down, Loki realized that now he was the one unable to make eye contact. He was afraid of seeing the disgust in the doctor’s eyes. The disgust he knew had to be there.

     “This is my true form. I’m a Frost Giant.”

     “Thor said you were adopted but-“

     “Disgusting isn’t it? Monstrous?” Loki had never really looked at himself in this form, but he knew what Frost Giants looked like. He could assume he had the same red eyes and ugly features. He touched his forehead where he felt two little bumps. Horns that never had a chance to grow into anything more than that.

     Bruce approached him cautiously. Loki couldn’t blame his hesitation. If he was faced with such a disgusting sight, he probably wouldn’t even approach it. At least, Bruce wasn’t afraid to. Suddenly, there was a warm hand upon his cheek. Loki looked at Bruce confused. They were closer now. The man was looking up at him with no trace of disgust in his eyes. Instead, he still had all the adoration in the world.

     “No, you’re beautiful.” Bruce told him, and it was like Loki had waited all his life to hear those words. He had hated himself. When he learned the truth of his origins, he had become disgusted with the sight of his own hands changing colors. He never dared to look in a mirror too afraid to see Laufey’s horrid face looking back. But he mustn’t look like that if Bruce thinks he is beautiful. Maybe he was. He felt his eyes growing wet.

     Bruce smiled at him so kindly. He looked at him like there was nothing in the universe but them. Loki couldn’t understand. He wanted to, but he just couldn’t. How could a Frost Giant look so comely to the man? Was Bruce lying to him? Was this just a result of the potion? Loki felt a tear trail down his cheek and Bruce lifted his other hand to brush it away. The prince found that he didn’t care why Bruce said it. He wanted to believe.

     “What are you doing!?” Thor’s voice jolted him away from the doctor. When he saw his brother, Loki tried desperately to rid himself of the truth. Wear the lie as he always did.

     “Thor. Loki and I were just-“

     “Leave, Banner.” Thor looked furious but that wasn’t anything new. Loki had been tormenting him from the moment he started to stay in the tower. Thor’s anger was now a constant. It was just his normal state of being now.

     “Hey, don’t-“

     “It’s alright, Bruce.” Loki spoke softly to reassure the man. “I’ll be fine.”

     Bruce looked between them unconvinced, but he didn’t argue. He never did, and Loki wondered if it was for his own benefit, or just because he hated conflict. It was best not to press the subject.

      Terrifyingly calm, Thor watched Bruce leave. Loki kept his eyes on his brother seeing how tense he still was, but not a word was spoken. He wanted to look away, he should have looked away. The hardness of his brother’s look did nothing to calm his mind. However, his brother looked so imposing standing there with his arms crossed. He stood tall and unmovable and his eyes never strayed from the doctor until he was out of sight. Maybe it was because of the tenseness. Maybe it was because of the heavy silence. Loki just couldn’t look away.

     “Why did you do such a thing?” Thor spoke first without even looking at him. His voice was not as harsh as before but there was a dangerous undertone to it.

     “What? Show my disgusting nature?” Loki sneered. “Did it make you sick seeing me in my true form?”

     “Brother, that is not- Stop this.”

     “Stop what? I have done no harm to your precious mortal friends. In fact, I have been rather friendly with all of them.”

     “That is what I am concerned with.” Thor told him, and Loki couldn’t understand. Why would his brother be more concerned with him being friendly rather than harming them? “I don’t want you hurting my friends.”

     “They aren’t hurting. They’re in love.” Did his brother want him to be friendly or not? He doesn’t want him to hurt his friends, but he is concerned by his kindness? Loki shook his head. Did he think that Loki would make them all fall for him and be at his mercy, only to hurt them all? He had to admit, that was his previous plan. Well, not to hurt them but to use them. However, at the moment, he was just trying to be helpful. Not that he was tossing his original plan away. It simply wasn't what he was attempting now.

     “Brother.” Thor warned.

     “If anything, I am helping Bruce out.” Loki informed him. “He believed himself unworthy of love because of a monster inside him. I just showed him that I am my own monster. He can keep his at bay, but I cannot.”

      “You are not a monster.” Thor suddenly looked hurt as if Loki had personally insulted him. What was the point of making that face? Was he pretending to be offended for Loki’s sake? As if being a Frost Giant wasn’t being an absolute beast? Loki knew Thor only believed Frost Giants to be monsters. It was how they were taught. His brother couldn’t just forget over a thousand years of hatred. It was not possible. He had to make him see that.

     “Says the man who vowed to cut down all of my kind.”

     “I was just a boy.”

     “If I recall, on the day of your coronation, you tried to make good on that vow.”

     “I have changed.”

 _Changed?_ Loki nodded to himself. Of course, his brother changed. He was banished for a few days and came back with a new way of life. A few days versus over a thousand years. What was the difference? She was the difference.

      “Yes, because of that woman.” Loki growled. Thor’s face hardened at the mention as if Loki was threatening to harm her. He wasn’t…Yet. “Amazing it only took a pretty smile and less than a week to erase over a thousand years of bigotry. Tell me. Do you love Frost Giants now?”

     “I love but one.” Thor looked into his eyes hoping to convey something to him.

     “Do you now?” Loki chose to ignore his brother’s statement. He knew his brother held brotherly love for him, but that love was false. Thor probably hated Frost Giants still and only cared for Loki because he looked like an Asgardian. If he looked the way he was meant to, his brother would probably take back those words. “I doubt your true opinion of them has changed because of a few days away from home.”

     “I saw here that things were not as I had imagined.” Thor closed the gap between them and looked deep into his eyes. It was as if he was doing his best to make Loki see how he saw things. That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Loki wasn’t like Thor. It didn’t take him mere days to change his ways. “Midgardians are stronger than I believed and being mortal showed me a path beyond my arrogance and selfishness. Midgardians are people like us. They love, they have dreams, they fight for what they believe in. They were no more different than one Asgardian to another. Jane helped me see that.”

     “Yet, your own brother couldn’t elicit such a change? I could not pull you from your own selfishness.” Loki didn’t have to pretend he felt hurt. He didn’t have to put up a pitiful mask for sympathy because the hurt inside him was very real. He felt like he had opened a scar upon his chest and let it bleed before his brother. He felt awful, but it was too late to back down now. “I suppose, you never really cared about me then.”

     “Brother that is a falsehood and you know it.” Thor looked furious and just as hurt as if Loki was the one wounding him instead. “I only ever loved you.” Only ever loved him? Loki knew his brother meant it in a familial way but the way it was said made it feel like he meant more. _No, that’s impossible_.

     “Yet, you were selfish all the way until you were away from me.” There was no way Thor could deny that, Loki knew. If he was so loved, then why didn’t Thor treat him better? Why was he taken for granted? Why were his words never heeded? Even if Thor did care and Loki didn’t doubt Thor thought he did (he remembered the fondness in his brother’s eyes in their youth). However, it still wasn’t strong enough to change Thor into thinking about anything else but his own glory. Thor seemed to only care about himself at that time, until he met Jane. “One woman. A few days. What am I supposed to think?”

     “I was an arrogant and selfish man. Being mortal forced me to rely on their kindness. On her kindness. It forced me to see what a fool I was.”

     “Which brought this new-found love for Frost Giants.” Loki couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It made no sense. Humans and Frost Giants were nothing alike. Seeing Midgardians for something more did not translate into liking huge monsters and seeing them as people rather than mindless beasts.

     “I had no love for them.” Thor admitted. “I just knew if I was incorrect in my assumptions dealing with Midgardians, where else have I been mistaken.”

     So that was it. It took Thor becoming mortal to see the error of his ways. Loki, his brother, who he claims to have loved always, was not enough. Thor would never understand how that made him feel. He would never understand that just saying you love someone wasn’t enough. Thor never showed him the love he claimed to have. He only always took him for granted and treated him like he was one of his subjects. Never as an equal. That wasn’t love.

     It made sense that Loki wouldn’t be the one to save Thor from himself. No matter what he did to make Thor or Odin see the truth, neither of them listened. Odin did not care to hear when Loki questioned Thor’s readiness for the throne. Thor would never heed Loki’s warnings causing more trouble than he fixed. But Asgard didn’t care. If the golden boy did it, it wasn’t bad. If Loki did it, he should be locked up.

     Perhaps, that was just the way it was. Loki would never be seen as anything more than Thor’s shadow. He wasn’t important enough to have his own voice. He wasn’t important enough to give credit to. That was who he was in the eyes of Asgard and he feared it would never change. He would never be allowed to have sunlight on his face. That was just who he was.

     So, of course, why would he save Thor from himself? In order to do that, Thor would have had to have loved him as an equal. See him as something more than just a little brother that needed to know his place. He did it so easily for his mortal woman. He saw her as an equal after a few days but Loki? Centuries had past, and Thor never changed for him. That was his worth.

     “Brother, what ails you?” Thor asked softly reaching out towards him, but Loki backed away, trying hard to ignore the clear hurt in his brother’s eyes.

     There were footsteps hurrying towards them but neither one looked over. There was so much that needed to be said and so much Loki hoped was never said. Thor was the first one to look away and it caused Loki to smile bitterly. _Of course, he is the first one to let go_. When Loki let go that time on the bridge, he wasn’t the first one. Thor had let him go centuries ago. When spending time with Loki wasn’t as glorious as running off with his friends. When Loki had to bear with dealing with those imbeciles just to have time to be around his brother. How long had it been since it was just the two of them?

      “Thor. Sorry for interrupting but Fury just called.” Bruce was speaking nervously. He did always seem to have a trace of anxiety in his voice whenever he spoke, but this was different. “He wants us all in the meeting room.”

     “What is the matter?”

     “It’s Doom.” The doctor told them. “He’s up to something.”


	12. Plans in Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki sees how Avengers strategize and decides to seduce one Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long. Michael (as a Tropical storm) killed my electricity last Thursday and I didn't get it back until Sunday night. So, it set me back a bit.

     He was told not to go. He was told by Thor specifically that he was not needed. This was a meeting for the Avengers to figure out what Doom was planning this time and only Avengers were allowed to attend. Loki was not an Avenger. In fact, he was still considered their enemy. Therefore, he was not invited. So, of course, Loki entered the room as well. He ignored his brother’s glare and sat down next to a very happy Clint. On his other side, was Romanov who had switched seats from Clint’s other side to Loki’s. Probably because Bruce was eyeing that seat prior to her switch. Pity.

     Steve Rogers sat directly across from him and smiled shyly. Loki smiled back much to the annoyance of Tony Stark, who rolled his eyes as he sat next to Steve. Bruce sat next to Romanov on her other side looking slightly disappointed. No one spoke except for Thor who was whispering quite loudly to Clint. He was trying his best to get Clint to switch seats with him. Thankfully, the man was not willing to budge.

     The room was small. Too small for its purpose as there were only two seats left at the table and if he leaned back, he would touch one of the frosted glass walls. If Bruce got upset, this room wouldn’t last long. It barely had enough room to move around as it was. How could they dedicate this room to meetings?

     The doors opened, and Fury entered quietly being followed by a dark-haired woman. He noticed Loki immediately and smiled brightly. Slapping a hand on his shoulder, he thanked him for joining. This of course made Clint glare at the hand like it personally offended him. It, also, made Steve look away and Tony huff in jealousy. Loki smiled at the reactions one simple touch elicited from Earth’s mightiest heroes. It was Thor, who stood up and, while casually pushing off Fury’s hand, asked the man to begin the meeting.

     It seemed none of them were certain what Doom was even doing. Loki felt terribly cheated when he saw all they had were a few photos of him around the city. It was true the man was probably not sightseeing but there was no evidence of otherwise. Romanov did point out the odd time stamps. Sometimes it seemed he was in two places at once. Not surprising. Loki was sure they knew what Doombots were.

     Tony and Thor were anxious to attack but with the lack of evidence of his supposed wrongdoing or any information of his whereabouts, Loki found their enthusiasm to be rather foolish. He rolled his eyes. He had thought Tony would at least be intelligent enough to find out all the facts before going in head first. Perhaps even the greatest of minds could fall victim to foolishness at times. Romanov and Clint were both wise urging to keep an eye out on their enemy and gain more information. Bruce was quiet, but he supposed that was just how the doctor was around everyone. It was Steve that was behaving oddly.

     Loki always figured he was their leader. During battles, he had witnessed more than one occasion of Steve motivating his allies and leading them. He was the one he expected to talk the most. Take charge. Yet, he was the quietest. Instead of engaging in the meeting, he was instead choosing to stare at Loki. It wasn’t a powerful stare and he did look away periodically to look into a strange black book that he was writing in. Was he writing? His movements seemed too wide to be mere writing.

     “It doesn’t matter what Doom has planned. We have an advantage.” Fury informed them all and looked pointedly at Loki. It took a moment for the trickster to realize all eyes were on him as he was still curious about Steve. When he noticed, he gave them all a quizzical look.

     “You worked with Doom.” Romanov told him. “You are also pretty good at magic, so that gives us an advantage.”

     Pretty good at magic? Was that an insult? He was not pretty good! He was a powerful sorcerer and a god! It was more than just parlor tricks. He wasn’t some magician pulling rabbits out of a hat. Loki frowned. Why were they even talking about what he could contribute? Did they really think he would risk having Doom as an enemy?

     After the potion wore off, he would still like to be able to form a small alliance with him once and a while. But knowing Doom, he probably wouldn’t fault him for back stabbing him. It’s what he would do to achieve his ends as well. But the cleanup for it would be messy and it would take forever to get Doom to trust him again. Well, maybe not forever. Doom always did seem to forgive him.

     Loki remembered a time he allowed Thor to beat Doom badly, before waiting the last moment to teleport him away. Doom had known Loki could have teleported him earlier, but Loki had given an excuse that had stroked the man’s ego, and all was forgiven. It was hilarious, really. Doom was easy to manipulate but at the same time, he wasn’t one to show your back to. Doom was willing to use him just as much as he was willing to use him. They both always had their own interests in mind. Sometimes those interests crossed and sometimes they didn’t, but they understood that.

    But it didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was not interested in any dealing with Doom now. Besides, he never said he was going to help them. When he voiced that fact, however, they all looked disappointed. Especially, Thor, who had told him not to come to the meeting in the first place.

    “It would do you better to help.” Fury said to him calmly. It wasn’t in a threating manner. It was more like he was sad Loki didn’t want to do what was right. Like part of him couldn’t believe it. Loki didn’t understand. Why did the man think he would help?

     “I have no interest in dealing with my old partners.”

     “So, that’s it.” Fury shook his head and smiled bitterly. “You can’t even help us out this once? Do you even want to be off our wanted list?”

     “What can I say? I do like being wanted.” That got a snort from Tony who was immediately silenced by Romanov’s glare.

     “I had hoped your time here would have made you see there were some things on Earth worth fighting for.” Fury sounded very distressed. Loki could see there was some sort of battle going on inside him. “But I can see that you never really wanted to change for the better. Perhaps we should lock you up.”

     Loki was taken aback. Was he now threating to incarcerate him just because he wouldn’t help them? Loki thought Fury had been affected by the potion. He looked like he had been before. Perhaps the potion loses its influence the longer they were apart? Or perhaps Loki being uncooperative was making it hard on himself. After all, people have fought against those they cared about. By the look Fury was giving him, he realized it was the latter. The man obviously had mixed feelings about his own threat.

     Fury could not mention locking Loki up without his admirers getting upset about it. The director found himself arguing with Loki’s brother, Clint and Steve while Bruce watched on helpless. Romanov tried to bring them all back to reality and keep Bruce from getting overly stressed. As for Tony, he took their momentary distraction as an opportune time to slide next to Loki and give him a flirty smile.

     “You look nice in my shirt.” He told him and suddenly it all made sense. Most of the clothes brought to Loki were suits, expensive and in good taste. When he happened across the t-shirt and jeans, he had been a little confused. More so when the shirt ended up being so small on him.

     “I was wondering why it was so tight on me.” Loki mused. “Am I also in your pants?”

     “Baby, I wish.” Tony licked his lips and then looked over at the drama unfolding beyond them. Steve and Thor were still arguing with Fury. Clint was talking to Romanov and Bruce was missing. He must have left to calm down.  Loki, also, noted that the glass walls were no longer frosted. Was that just an illusion to keep some privacy during the meeting? It had to be technology that had done that because Loki was sure none of the Avengers had a good grasp of magic. Was it Tony’s idea? He didn’t have much time to think about it because the man in question moved in closer and said “So, want to ditch your brother and get a drink?”

     “He does seem preoccupied.” This was a bad idea. Loki shouldn’t run off with Tony especially knowing how lustful the man was. However, he had no interest in watching this embarrassing display any further. They were all like children. It was ridiculous. Besides, he could use a good drink. “Lead the way, Anthony.”

     They slipped out unnoticed and found their way to the bar in the center of the more open portion of the common floor. There was an assortment of drinks but none of them were strong enough to affect the god. However, there were some that Loki had found pleasing to his tongue. However, Tony had other plans for him. He was going to make a mixed drink for Loki and assured the prince that he would love it. He poured their drinks slowly with a very confident smirk. So arrogant.

     “So, Thor’s been keeping you all cooped up.” Tony slid the drinks on the counter and sat on the stool next to Loki.

      “It does seem that way.” Loki took a small sip of the concoction Tony had decided to give him. It wasn’t the worse he ever tasted so, he supposed the man succeeded. Though he wasn’t sure he would be giving the billionaire a tip for this any time soon. “I got an hour of free time.”

     “An hour of being stared at by either your brother or Romanov.” How did he know about that? Did Romanov or Thor tell him? No, Thor wouldn’t have told him. It would have just made Tony want to seek him out. It had to have been Romanov unless Tony just assumed those were the conditions based on the footage of the cameras in the common areas. Was he really that good at deducing? Loki brought the glass to his lips and slowly sipped some more of the beverage. He must have done it in a strange way because the next thing he heard was Tony moan “God, I wish I was that glass.”

     “Maybe you can be.” Loki teased.

     “You going to turn me into a glass? Because that’s not the direction I hope this is going.”

     “No, I’m speaking of something else.” Loki rolled his eyes. Was he trying to be funny or was he really that thick? No, he couldn’t be. Tony was a genius. Everything around him was a testament to that. He could use this. He could control this. Leaning in, Loki dropped his voice. “You’re very intelligent, Anthony.”

     “That I am.” Tony’s breath hitched as Loki tentatively brushed his thigh with his fingers.

     “I’ve seen you create such wonderful things.” Loki could do this. He just needed to seduce him and seeing how the man was responding, this was no difficult task. He was in control.  “I wonder if I could-“

     “Want to see my lab? Sure.” Tony hurriedly stood up and grabbed Loki’s arm. So eager to impress. Loki had to admit, he liked this foolish side of Tony. All this time he had been feasting on Loki’s appearance with lecherous eyes. Loki had been uneasy about it as it seemed like he couldn’t control the billionaire. Well, not without the man seriously overstepping boundaries. It was like Tony was a wolf and was looking at Loki like he was a sheep. He wanted to devour him, but, unfortunately for him, Loki was also a wolf hidden in sheep skin. There was no way a mortal was going to do such things to him. Not without his consent at least. But Tony’s behavior now was different from what he’d imagined. When faced with the prospect of gaining all he desired, Tony seemed willing to do anything for him. Less like a hungry wolf and more like a faithful dog, willing to do tricks for some treats.

     They didn’t walk up the stairs to the lab that Loki had seen Tony share with Bruce. Instead, they entered the elevator and went to Tony’s personal floors. Loki was not surprised that Tony, unlike the other avengers, was the only one able to access these two floors. The others may have multiple rooms dedicated to them but did not have the only access to the floors their rooms were on. Anyone could walk around on the floor his brother resided on. Anyone could sit on that couch and watch dumb dinosaur movies with him. However, these two floors were off limits. It was intriguing. One floor was an apartment that Tony admitted hesitantly that he shared with a friend. The next was his personal workshop. A workshop he had despite sharing a lab with Bruce. What did he make there and why didn’t he allow others to enter? What was he hiding?

     When they entered the floor, Loki couldn’t help but try to soak in every detail. There was a wall of many different suits near the elevator. Beyond that was a large white table with pieces of different machinery strewed about. In the center was some sort of round white object and there were multiple robots beyond for purposes he couldn’t figure. There were holograms projecting from the walls reflecting schematics for new suits or maybe new weapons. Loki peered closely at one that seemed to be focusing on the arm of the suit. Touching it, it zoomed in. Tony tapped it and it disappeared.

     He moved towards the round white object and tapped on it. From it came many different blueprints and even the floor plans of the tower. Tony wasn’t showing him each individually though. He was just quickly rifling through them, so Loki could see how the hologram worked. Tony didn’t have to touch an actual screen. He just moved his hands with the aid of a glove and the images moved with it. Did he invent that himself? It reminded him a little of the technology they had on Asgard. Though on Asgard, one didn’t need a glove. Also, things were more intuitive when magic was brought to the table. Asgard loved fusing the two in a way that baffled many mortals. Science, by itself, was limiting. Loki knew Thor believed science and magic were one and the same but that was simplifying things. Science and magic certainly lived together and could be used to explain each other to an extent but were not the exact same. Magic was its own type of science. It was something that could be studied and mastered but that’s where the similarity ended. Then again, Thor was never good at understanding magic in the first place. It wasn’t like humans were going to be able to do the things he could without a deep understanding of the mystical side of things, but they still had potential. Tony had potential.

     “Extraordinary.” Loki looked around the large workshop once more. He would need a new weapon since his scepter was confiscated. He had thought previously that Fury would just give it back after a few flattering words, but after the threat earlier, he doubted it. Might as well have something else.  

     “Impressed?” Tony moved closer to him with a small, hopeful smile.

     “It’s nice but it lacks a certain personal touch.”

     “I can give you a personal touch.” Tony placed his hands on Loki’s hips and gave him a look that promised to make one of them unable to walk in the morning. _Well, he’s still Anthony. I shouldn’t have expected anything different._ Loki forced a smile.

     “Will you?” Loki placed a hand on one of Tony’s shoulders and pushed him gently. He guided him to a chair near one of the nearby computers and forced him to sit. Tony allowed it. In fact, Loki was sure the man was turned on even more by the action.

     “I can give you anything.” He told Loki breathlessly. The god smiled wide. That’s exactly what he wanted to hear.

     “Anything, Anthony?” Loki moved forward pushing Tony further into the seat. Slowly, he spread his legs to either side of the chair and lowered himself onto the man’s lap. Tony’s hands shot up to grab Loki’s sides as the god got comfortable. Leaning in, Loki tried to ignore Tony’s body responding to this action. _A little too eager._

     Tony stared up at him with a flush faced making Loki smile a little amused. He shifted a little in the man’s lap and had no more doubts about what laid beneath him. It wasn’t some tool in the billionaire’s pocket that was for certain. Taking a deep breath, he placed one hand on the man’s shoulder and allowed his other to explore. Tony took in a sharp breath as Loki allowed that hand to trail down the man’s neck, towards his chest and circle around the strange, glowing object in the middle of his breast.

     “So, interesting.” Loki stared at it. This was the object that stopped him from controlling Tony before. It didn’t matter now. Now the man was willing to do anything for him. “I would love to have something of my own. Made by you.”

     Tony gulped and looked a bit conflicted. That wouldn’t do.  He couldn’t have Tony Stark of all people fight his feelings for him. Not when the man never tried to mask his desire from the beginning. It would be insulting if he of all people rejected Loki’s control. So, to make sure Tony stayed in line, he rolled his hips a little. It was an experiment since the god was unsure if it would work. To his delight, the man seemed to melt underneath him. All the conflict vanished from his face and what was left was nothing short of dazed.

     “Wouldn’t you like to see me parade it around knowing you gave it to me?” Loki dipped his head and leaned in letting each word caress the man’s neck. His hand slinked up Tony’s chest and found the other side of his neck. Softly brushing his fingers up towards his ear, Loki made sure to allow his nose to brush up against Tony’s jaw. "Wouldn't you love everyone seeing I chose you?" The man whimpered a little and nodded.

     “What would you like?”


	13. How did it end up like this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's plans are being thwarted, Thor is being affectionate and Loki is a mixed bag of emotions.

      His face met the sheets roughly. He felt the bed wobble beneath him as his body followed. He figured he should be grateful he had a soft landing. He could have been tossed on the floor like his brother’s dirty laundry. Then again, with the way his brother was behaving it would probably be less on the floor and more through the floor. Loki turned his head to see his brother slam the door shut, causing the walls to quake. The way Thor glared at him frightened the trickster, who found himself flipping onto his back and inching towards the headboard.

      Everything had happened so fast. One-minute Loki was whispering in Tony’s ear and rocking in his lap, the next he was ripped off and carried back here. He hadn’t been unclothed. They didn’t even get very far. Loki wouldn’t have allowed it anyway. He had been merely teasing Tony to get him to be more flexible to his will. When Thor found them, he had even stopped moving. Of course, it wasn’t that Loki stopped prior to Thor’s arrival. It had been more of a reaction to the loud explosion by the elevator that Thor caused. It had left both Tony and Loki frozen in shock, but that didn’t change the fact that Loki had been in Tony’s lap. It didn’t change the fact that Tony had been flushed with eyes filled with lust. Thor had seen their position and had come to his own conclusions. He had wasted no time in grabbing Loki’s collar, tossing him over his shoulder and bringing him back to this room.

     “No more privileges, brother!” The thunderer roared in a way that made Loki swore the room quivered with each word. Every time Loki thought he had seen the worse of Thor’s anger, he kept surprising him. Perhaps it was his fault. It wasn’t like Loki was doing anything other than infuriating him these days. Perhaps his brother would go mad with all this anger. Perhaps he already had.

     Thor looked down to his other hand, the one that hadn’t thrown Loki. The one with Mjolnir. Loki gulped. Was he going to attack him? Was that how this was going to end? He should ready his daggers, think of a spell, or something. Anything to protect himself but he couldn’t. He was frozen in fear. Thor must have noticed his expression because his eyes softened to a look that was more hurt than angry. Guiltily, he dropped the hammer onto the floor making a loud thud.

     “You lost your privileges when I discovered you upon Stark’s lap.” He told him no longer shouting but still sounding as dangerous as ever. “May I even ask what had caused you to do such a distasteful act?”

      “I was offering him an incentive.” Loki tried to tease but it came out like a nervous squeak.

     “For what?” Thor neared the bed, fury back in his eyes. Loki found himself pressing his back against the headboard. “What foul plan did you concoct with my friend?”

     “It’s not important.” Loki dared not look into his brother’s eyes. He felt like his heart would leap out of his chest if he stared any longer at them. This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. He never planned for this reaction though he wasn’t sure what he expected. His brother had made it clear that he didn’t like Loki seducing his shield brothers. Perhaps Thor''s reaction was reasonable since Loki hadn't heeded his word at all. But did he have to be so terrifying?

     He felt the bed dip as added pressure was brought upon it. It was all happening so quickly. He barely registered his brother moving on the bed before he felt the heat of his brother’s body over him. His knees were on either side of his legs trapping them beneath him. Loki sneaked a glance at him, only to notice his brother was now terribly close to his face. “Get away from me.”

     “No, I must watch you carefully, brother.” Thor said, grabbing Loki’s shoulders. There wasn’t a reason to do so. It wasn’t like Loki could get away when Thor was almost sitting on his legs. “I cannot allow you to destroy the bonds between my friends.”

     “They are fine.”

     “That they are not.” Thor’s fingers dug into Loki’s shoulders causing him to hiss in pain. Immediately, Thor moved his hands down his brother’s arms looking apologetic. Loki didn’t understand. Wasn’t he angry with him? Didn’t he want to hurt him? Loki wanted his brother to explain himself, but he didn’t. Instead, Thor looked down and sighed. “Jealousy is a magnifier of trifles. It is a disease that can destroy even the closest of friends.” The thunderer looked more pained as he said each word. Then afterwards he spoke again in almost a whisper. “Or brothers.”

     It was as if he didn’t really want Loki to hear it but with how close they were, how could he not? This was about him wasn’t it? Did he think he accosted Tony out of some old jealousy he harbored? It always came to that didn’t it? That was what everyone thought, wasn’t it? Loki was just jealous of Thor.

     It was true that jealousy did cause Loki to act out, but it wasn’t his only motivator. The people of Asgard would love to believe it so, but it wasn’t. Thor was simply unfit to rule, and Loki could not believe Odin didn’t see it. If Thor ruled Asgard at that time, he would have brought them all into war. Asgard would have lost many of its people and for what? The selfishness of a boy?  No matter what he said to the AllFather, his word was never heeded.

     Of course, Loki wasn’t acting only altruistically. But to say he never cared for Asgard and its people during the time he ruined Thor’s coronation would be nothing more than a wicked falsehood. He only had wished Asgard’s people would see that Thor was unfit. His brother had been too impulsive and bloodthirsty at the time. Loki hadn’t even wished for Thor’s banishment. He had merely been hoping to delay what he had figured was inevitable. But despite his jealousy at times, he had cared.

     He cared all the way until the throne was giving to him, and everyone treated him like he was some sort of usurper (despite gaining the throne legitimately). No one had liked obeying him. Every order had been met with a tight, lying smile or a hesitant look. Like any of them could mask their feelings from one who had to do so all his life.

     The first thing that had been asked of him, as king, was to bring Thor back. Of course, they didn’t want Loki on the throne. He didn’t belong there. But Thor being mortal at the time would not have done Asgard any good. And Loki hadn’t the ability to suddenly make him worthy. Yet, they would rather have a mortal Thor sit on the throne than Loki. It became obvious Loki cared for Asgard but its people had never cared back. So, he became desperate. Desperate to prove himself and show his people that he was meant to be there. Meant to belong.

     Perhaps he had gone mad. Perhaps he had made a lot of mistakes but who could blame him? Asgard could point their fingers at him until their arms went numb but they did this to themselves. It wasn’t merely jealousy. Loki became increasingly angry the more he thought of it. Like everyone else, Thor just brushed his actions away claiming it petty jealousy. He brushed away Loki’s pain calling the wrongs done to him ‘Imagined slights’. Nothing of his pain was imagined. It felt very real.

     “I still don’t see why you have to be so close.” Loki hissed and pushed his brother from him. Immediately, Thor reached out and grabbed his arm. Loki kicked at him to put more distance between them and because he was angry. His memories had brought up past wounds he knew never healed and he just wanted Thor to feel some of it. Feel his pain.

     Thor took the beating without a word. He didn’t even fight back like Loki wished. Wasn’t he angry with him? Didn’t he see him seducing Tony? Didn’t he want to fight? Loki wanted him to fight him. He wanted him to hurt him. Then, he would feel justified in his anger and maybe he wouldn’t hurt as much. He wanted to feel his anger more than his sadness. He wanted to shout and kick instead of cry.

     But Thor wouldn’t give this to him. He wouldn’t engage in the fight the way Loki wanted him to. He just took everything the younger brother threw at him with a hurt look. A look Loki found he hated more than any other expression that ever adorned Thor’s face. He found his kicks slowing and his punches losing strength. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to face his feelings. Not like this. Loki looked down as he felt tears stinging his eyes. Without a word, Thor moved closer again and grabbed his hand.

      “Unhand me.” Loki barely hissed, his breathing becoming unsteady as he tried to hold back his tears.

     “No, I will not.  I will not allow you to blink away. As long as I am touching you in some manner, you cannot teleport without me.” Thor told him quietly in almost a whisper. Loki didn’t like the idea. He didn’t like the thought that he would have to stay with Thor and feel this way. He wouldn’t be able to hide from him. He must have seen his tears by now. Did he think him silly for such? Did he think Loki was just mad, crying for no reason? The hand in his tightened a little and Loki tried pulling away, but Thor held strong.

     Thor sighed and laid his back against the headboard silently. He looked down at where his and Loki’s hands were intertwined. Loki didn’t know why but he had laced his fingers with his brother’s. It was the sort of thing one did instinctively when their hand was held, he had told himself. His brother’s hand was so warm in his, Loki wanted to pull away again, but Thor brought their hands up to view them.

     “You wouldn’t dare hold my hand for the entire day.” Loki huffed but Thor just smiled at him.

     “It is not bad. Your hand is quite soft and cool to the touch.” With that, he brought Loki’s hand to his cheek. Loki could feel the roughness of his brother’s beard and the heat of his flesh now surrounding his hand completely. It was so warm that Loki felt like it had creeped up his arm and flushed his face.

     “Unhand me.” Loki struggled so weakly that even the distracted Thor could still hold him close. He seemed pensive for some reason.

     Loki used his free hand to wipe away his tears. This was ridiculous. This day had become far more taxing than he would have ever imagined. First, he cried in front of Bruce and now his own brother. He had to reign in his emotions. He couldn’t show this weakness to his enemies. However, his brother had other ideas. Thor brushed his lips against Loki’s hand causing the trickster to make an undignified noise.

     “Let us watch another movie together, brother.” He suddenly spoke and jumped off the bed. Loki ungracefully lunged forward with him. His face felt unbearably hot. Why did he kiss his hand? Why wasn’t he saying anything about this? Thor smiled at Loki and asked what movie he wanted to see but Loki didn’t have a chance to respond before Thor claimed he knew the perfect one to watch. Was Thor avoiding the situation altogether? He was the one who did it! Loki felt strangely irritated. Why wouldn’t he acknowledge his weird show of affection? That was all it was, right? Just some weird show of affection that his brother decided to do because he was crying. It had to be because Loki was crying. Now Thor wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. Probably for Loki’s sake. So, Loki wouldn’t feel embarrassed. If he wanted to pretend nothing happened, then Loki supposed he could play along.   _No dinosaurs this time._ He thought as his brother dragged him back to the sinking couch and his questionable collection of movies.

     He was not rewarded with a better movie. Instead, it seemed it was some movie about a human warrior trying to fight some well-dressed man with a different accent. It was apparently a holiday too. Was this a normal holiday movie for Midgardians? Loki didn’t want to watch it, but he couldn’t leave. Thor held his hand so tightly as if he was afraid Loki would disappear the moment he let go. He probably would but that was beside the point.

      He couldn’t physically leave but there was no reason why he couldn’t send out a projection of himself. Just to know if Tony was still making that weapon he asked for. It definitely wasn’t because he didn’t want to face his feelings about a certain kiss of the hand. It was just a kiss on the hand. Nothing to get worked up over. He had to focus.

     Closing his eyes, Loki sent himself back to Tony’s lab. He found the billionaire busy trying to fix the damage his brother caused. He was zapped by one of the exposed wires from the panel he pulled by the elevator. Loki debated showing himself to him or just watching him from afar. His choice was made the moment he heard footsteps in the distance. Best to watch.

     From the right of him, the emergency stair entrance was opened, and Steve walked in looking very worried. He looked at Tony cursing at himself before stepping further in the lab. There were plans being drawn up. They weren’t finalized yet. Loki was giving Tony freedom to create the weapon from his own vision. He wanted to be surprised. The different ideas seemed promising. There was a staff, a scepter and even arm braces? Loki tried to look closer. How would those work out?

     “What is this? Thor short circuits my whole lock system for this floor and now everyone wants to walk into my lab?” Tony glared at Steve making the man move away from the plans. The billionaire then twisted one of his tools and grunted when another shock hit him. Loki cringed. His brother didn’t really have any other way to enter the lab besides sending an electrical current into the panel. If anyone was to blame it was the man’s disembodied butler for telling Thor Loki’s whereabouts. Surely, Tony should have programed the thing better. It betrayed him so easily and for what? The greater good?

      “You can’t make a weapon for Loki.” Steve walked back towards Tony looking very dangerous.

      “Cool it, Rogers. I know what I’m doing.”

     “No, you just want to impress him, so he’d sleep with you.” Steve glared at Tony, who looked shock that the older man would say such a thing. It was probably true. Loki was sure of it but to hear Captain America say it so plainly was a little surprising. “Tony, nothing good will come out of giving a psychopath a powerful weapon! He’s using you.”

     How could Steve say that about him? Didn’t they get along? Didn’t they share coffee together? Did that mean nothing to the mortal? Loki almost lost focus because of how angry he was. He couldn’t do that. He would miss the rest of the conversation and be subjected to Thor’s terrible movie choice. Thankfully, his brother hadn’t noticed he was distracted.

     “You’re just jealous he likes my intelligence more than whatever you’re working with. Painting him like one of your French girls, Rogers?” Tony dropped his tools and stood up quickly, getting into Steve’s personal space. “I saw what you were doing during the meeting. That’s some creepy behavior there.”

    Loki didn’t know what Tony was talking about or referencing. French girls? Steve had French girls? He didn’t know what Steve had been doing in his black notebook during the meeting, but he was sure it hadn't been painting. He had a pencil after all. You can’t paint with a pencil. Whatever it was he had been doing, it was embarrassing enough for the man to respond to the accusation with flushed cheeks. Well, after a moment of slight confusion.

    “That’s beside the point. We may be under the influence, but we can’t keep our guard down.”  

     “Look, I never said he had to sleep with me if I made it for him. I mean. I’m sure he'll want to. We have enough old virgins in the building.” Tony smiled confidently. Loki shook his head. He was sure his brother was probably seeing him do so but that didn’t matter. There was no way he was going to sleep with Tony and virgin? He was certainly not a virgin! Why did everyone assume that? Steve glared at Tony harder and Loki hoped a bit of his anger was being felt by the billionaire as well. Tony shrugged. “I’m just making sure Loki doesn’t remain so.”

     “Tony.” Steve’s voice was low, dangerous and completely unamused.

     “Okay. Okay. I’ll be careful. I won’t just give it to him.” Tony backed up and nodded. “I’ll wait until he is at a point we can trust him.”

     “So, you’re still going to make it?”

     “I’ll delay making it.”

     “That’s all I ask.”

     Loki couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How dare Steve try to get in the way of progress. Loki had to endure feeling the man’s erection under him the whole time he was persuading him! Tony’s hands had wandered all over him and he endured it. He endured it because he was going to get something out of all his suffering. Yet, here Captain America strolls in to ruin everything. Loki was livid.

     He was nudged by his brother causing his mind to return back to the couch and the terrible movie. Was the man now in the vents? Was this movie inspiration for Clint? Thor was looking at him worriedly. Loki tried forcing a smile, but it only made his brother’s frown deepen.

     He needed to get to Steve. He needed to tell him to go back and tell Tony it was alright to make the weapon. Or at least stop him from thwarting his plans. But there was no way he could do so with his brother watching him so closely.

     Maybe he could pretend to be sleeping while sending his mind elsewhere. He yawned and leaned closer to his brother. He heard Thor breathe in sharply when Loki’s cheek met his brother’s shoulder. That was odd. Did this closeness make him feel uncomfortable? Why? It wasn’t unlike anything they had done when they were younger. Also, Thor had made him place his head on his shoulder before on this very couch. Perhaps the difference was that Loki was initiating it and Thor wasn’t the one forcing the affection on him. Thor had always been more affectionate. He would be the first to initiate anything. Kind of like the kiss on his hand. Loki felt his face heat up. He thought he was over that already. Why did it invade his mind at the worst time?

     Loki felt Thor’s hand leave his and hesitantly move up to find its way to his other shoulder. His brother was pulling him closer, bringing his head under the thunder god’s chin. He gulped. No. He shouldn’t feel strange. This wasn’t unlike the affection his brother had shown him before. There was nothing different. Yet, he felt like it was. Like this was more than just brothers sitting on a couch together. Was it because of that silly kiss? Thor was just affectionate! They would hug and kiss on the cheek all the time in their youth. Kissing on the hand or holding someone close wasn’t really that different. Yet, he could feel his pulse quicken and somehow it was hard to breathe normally. Was he going mad? He had to be. He had to focus on something else. He could smell that summer rain scent. He could feel the heat of his brother’s breath atop his head. He could hear his brother’s heartbeat or was that his heartbeat? Maybe both of their hearts were beating together. _No, why did I think that? What’s wrong with me?_

     He had to break away. He couldn’t push Thor away or that would ruin the whole reason he put himself in this position. He just had to focus on exploring the tower through his mind. Pretend to sleep. Pretend to not feel the heat on his cheeks. Pretend to not enjoy the scent of his brother or the heat emanating from his body. Focus. Focus.

     It took him a while to find Steve after he was able to send his mind out again. He wasn’t in the common areas and he was nowhere near Tony. Loki found him in the training room attacking a very unlucky punching bag. He wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Apparently, his punches weren’t even his whole strength, but the punching bag still suffered. If the small trail of sand escaping broken seams was any indication.

     “So, you spoke with Anthony.” Loki allowed an image of himself to appear on the other side of the bag. Steve grabbed the bag to stop it from swinging towards the illusion. He was a little confused but said nothing to the god. He just sighed and turned to focus on something else. Loki frowned. He wasn’t ignoring him, was he? He couldn’t have that. Appearing next to him, as the man took a sip of water from a bottle, Loki spoke again. “Why do you not want him to build something for me?”

     “Loki, you aren’t exactly a man with the best intentions.” Steve dropped the bottle harshly against the metal rack that held an assortment of weights.

     “How cruel, my captain.” Loki pouted moving out of the man’s way as he walked back towards the dying punching bag.  “I thought we had something. I can’t believe you would betray me so.”

     “You seduced Tony to make him build you a weapon. I’m sorry if I don’t see the merit in that.”

     “I thought you loved me.” Loki did his best to look saddened by Steve’s decision to condemn his actions. The man said nothing but punched the bag so hard the entire side ripped, and all the sand flew across the room. Loki’s eyes widened. He might have to approach this differently.

      “I do. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Because of that potion, I’m crazy about you.” Steve turned to him and took notice of Loki’s expression. The trickster didn’t know what kind of expression he had but it was enough to affect Steve. The man looked away guiltily and sighed. Perhaps he saw Loki’s surprise and mistook it for fear. “I’m still me and I can see this is wrong. Also, it hurts that you would flirt with Tony just to get something you want.”

     Steve looked back at Loki and the prince could see the hurt the man spoke of. There were so many emotions the mortal was showing him today. Anger, guilt, hurt and obviously jealousy. It had to be jealousy that was making him upset that Tony was the one he was flirting with. He doubted Steve would have these many objections if it was he who Loki chose to flirt with. He recalled how eager Steve had been when he brought breakfast to him that one time. He was sure the man wouldn’t care to be used. So, he wasn’t angry that Loki used someone, he was just upset that the one used wasn’t him. Loki smiled.

     “So, you are jealous.”

     “It’s not funny, Loki. I can’t believe I love you.” Steve shook his head and came closer to the prince. He reached out and his fingers went right through the illusion. He looked at his hand in shock but didn’t freak out. Instead, Loki could see realization hit him. Slowly, Steve curled his fingers inward to make a fist and nodded. Taking a breath, he glared at Loki’s illusion. There was a hint of pain in his eyes. It was as if finding out that Loki wasn’t physically there made him hurt more. Why? “You know I don’t know what you think about me or anyone else here but I’m going to say this: Everyone here loves you, whether they want to or not. But you know what else they have in common? They all have feelings. You aren’t the only one that can feel hurt or ignored. You aren’t the only one who can feel pain. Think about that.”

     Why did Loki have to think about that? He wasn’t stupid. He knew people had emotions. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to play on them so easily. Yes, people hurt and so did he. However, it wasn’t the same. Was it? Loki shook his head. Other people’s pain was none of his concern. So, why did those words cause his heart to feel heavy? He’d been around the Avengers for far too long, but he had no choice. He couldn’t possibly control the Avengers without being around them. Well, he could but it wouldn’t be as effective.

     A ringing broke through his thoughts causing Steve to fish out his phone from his pocket. He stared at it like he was unsure what to do with it. Maybe the technology was too much for him. He had to have had a phone call on one of those things before. Was it a new phone? Loki moved towards him and pointed at the green answer button on the screen. Steve tapped the green button but didn’t slide it, so the incessant ringing continued. Loki began wishing he was there in person because this was ridiculous. He knew the man had been frozen for some time, but he thought this was self-explanatory.

     “Slide it.” Loki told him making the man blush a bright red. Turning from him, Steve finally answered the phone. The god had already seen who was calling: Fury. He knew it meant whatever was being said had to be important. Steve kept his voice hushed and then after a while stared back at his phone. Fury must have hung up before Steve realized he just had to push the red button, because the man just put it in his pocket with a sigh.

      “It’s Doom.” He told Loki without any other explanation. It’s Doom? That didn’t tell Loki anything. What was he doing? Why was it important to call? Was he just seen in another picture? Steve turned away from him and sighed.  “I don’t expect you to help.”

     With that the man hurried out of the room before Loki heard another ringing. Opening his eyes, he realized the movie had been paused. His brother slowly shifted from beneath him and answered his phone. Loki felt a little proud that Thor did not have any trouble answering it. The trickster watched as his brother spoke to Fury about some sort of attack. So, Doom was doing something. Interesting.

     “Brother, I must leave. There are matters I must attend to.” Thor gently moved Loki from his body. “You will be alone in the tower. It is unwise, I know. However, I hope that you will not cause too much mischief while we are absent.”

     Loki felt a little upset Thor didn’t even mention Loki not helping. He should at least ask him to join even if he knew the answer was no. It was common curtesy. Instead, Thor just left, and Loki was alone on the couch. No one was watching over him. No one was bothering him to watch a ridiculous movie with them. He had full range of the entire tower. He could do whatever he wanted.

      So, why did he feel disappointed?


	14. Not My Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries hard to act like he doesn't care about the Avengers fighting Doom without him

     Loki was bored. Jarvis tried to keep him entertain but was failing miserably. It wasn’t all bad though. He learned a lot from the AI. He learned Natasha Romanov was just an alias and not the agent’s real name, but Jarvis did not have her real name on file. So, that was disappointing. He, also, learned Clint’s middle name was Francis and that amused him for a while. Especially after Jarvis mentioned that it may embarrass the man if Loki knew about it. He wasn’t sure why the name was embarrassing but the idea did put a smile on his face.

     He wandered around the halls and checked out the various training rooms. Nothing of interest. He went through Clint’s room and found nothing but an assortment of bows and arrows. No pictures of the family. Pity. He rummaged through Romanov’s room trying to find her real name. He just found an assortment of passports with various names. He was sure none of them were real.

     He rummaged through Bruce’s room, looking at all his different books. Some were even written by the doctor. Bruce kept the books he wrote himself in his own personal library? Was it pride? Loki didn’t even know the mild mannered man had that kind of pride.

     He opened one and began reading it. It seemed interesting and well written. Bruce was far more talented than he gave him credit for. Tucking it away in a pocket dimension, Loki decided he would read it later during his leisure time. Right now, was the time to explore.

     Next was Tony’s apartment. It was large and had its own kitchen stocked with very delicious looking food. Loki hadn’t had lunch yet, so he helped himself. He worked fast and made himself a very packed and very delicious looking sandwich. Thor would never had made something so beautiful. He would have forced him to have that disgusting peanut butter and jelly concoction.

      He heard some yelling and a faint sound of an explosion. Were they fighting outside the tower? He hoped they wouldn’t slam into the building. He was trying to enjoy his meal after all. Taking a bite out of his sandwich, he walked into Tony’s living room.

    There was a woman sitting on the couch watching the news. She had long, red hair that reached past her shoulders, and large blue eyes that held nothing but worry. Looking at the large screen, Loki could see an army of Doom bots and the Avengers struggling to battle them. It should be fine. They have been through worse. Loki took another bite of his sandwich.

     “What are you doing here?” The woman noticed him and seemed even more apprehensive than before.

     “Eating a sandwich.”

    “Does Tony know you’re here?”

    “I am quite certain that he would not mind.” Loki took another bite of his sandwich and looked at the screen. He heard the woman gasp in horror as Iron Man was slammed into a building. “I take it you are Ms. Pepper Potts?”

    The woman looked at him in shock. He must have guessed correctly. How foolish was she to believe he didn’t know everything about his enemies? He made sure Clint had told him, during their time working together, what possible weaknesses each Avenger had. One of Tony’s greatest weaknesses was a woman who worked underneath him. Well, now she was her own boss but before she was his assistant. Loki knew all of that and couldn’t help but feel a bit smug about it.

    “And what if I am?” She looked at him defiantly. She must have gathered her courage some time during him thinking. 

    “I mean you no harm.”

    “Then why aren’t you helping them?” All traces of worry or fear was gone. Nothing remained except the strong look she gave him. Was she challenging him? Her? She wasn’t even an Avenger! What was she going to do? Tell on him? Tony would take his side anyway. The billionaire loved him more than her after all. Didn’t he?

     If Tony was now in love with him, why was Pepper here? Why was she in Tony’s apartment? He looked at her attire and noticed that she wasn’t even dressed for business. So, she wasn’t here to bother Tony about the company she now controlled. She wasn’t even wearing shoes and was very dressed down.

    Like she lived there.

     Loki remembered Tony hesitantly telling him he lived with a friend. She had to be that friend, but, if Loki recalled correctly, the two of them weren’t friends at all. Tony had loved her before the potion. He remembered his conversations with Bruce and Clint. Clint was torn because he still loved his family and Bruce hinted at possibly still liking Romanov. So, the potion added love but didn’t take away any other love. Loki looked down at his sandwich. Why did he suddenly feel like a mistress getting caught in bed with another woman’s husband?

    She asked him a question, didn’t she? He was being rude and just standing there with his mouth slightly opened. She probably thought he was an idiot. Why did he care what a mortal thought of him? He didn’t. He just didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. That wasn’t the same, right? What did she ask again? Why he wasn’t helping when he told her he meant no harm? What did those two things have to do with each other?

    “Meaning no harm does not directly translate into aiding my once enemies. It merely means I do not wish to cause any trouble.” Loki gestured his half-eaten sandwich towards the television. “This trouble had nothing to do with me.”

    “So, you’ll just let them suffer?” She didn’t even know. She had no idea that Loki had seduced her boyfriend. She had no idea that Tony even desired him. She couldn’t have. If she did, she wouldn’t be encouraging him to help the Avengers. She would have wanted him out and far away from her beloved. She would have been angry.

     “They’ve been through worse.” Loki found himself saying, unsure what else he could say. She was weak, and he could see she probably never had to fight in her life. She had nice small hands with perfectly manicured fingers. Those were not the hands of a warrior, but she intimidated him. Was it because of his own guilt? What did he have to be guilty about? It wasn’t like he desired Tony. It was Tony who desired him!

    “What if it’s different this time?” Pepper asked him, her worried expression returning. “What if they die?”

    Loki looked over at the screen for a moment and saw his brother fighting against three at one time. He could handle it. He was Thor the God of Thunder. Loki couldn’t imagine him losing a fight let alone die in one. He always rose to the top. No, that wasn’t true. That was just what everyone liked to say but Loki knew the truth. There were many a time that Thor and his friends were way in over their heads. There was many a time that Loki had to save his brother from himself. Loki watched as two Doom bots blast his brother back into a wall. He was the God of Thunder! Electricity was nothing to him. Right?

    No, it was fine. It had to be. He had his shield brothers with him and they have been through worse. This wasn’t their first dance with Doom. They knew what they were up against. They would survive. They always did.

    Loki was done watching the news. He was done entertaining Tony’s woman and he was done with this feeling of worry she caused him. No, he wasn’t worried. They would be fine without him. Even if he did help, his brother would tell him that anyway. _“We would have been fine without you.”_ His brother never even acknowledged his contributions even when he was the one who saved them in the past and brought them to safety. His brother would just chuckle at the idea and say, _“Some do battle, others just do tricks.”_ As if Loki’s contributions in battle was nothing more than smoke and mirrors.

     He heard his brother, on the television, roar in pain but didn’t look up to see what the matter was. _It doesn’t matter_. He thought bitterly, still upset by the memories of being taken for granted. He probably got injured a bit but wasn’t gravely hurt. There was one thing Loki could be certain of though. He was sure his brother was wishing he had some of Loki’s “tricks” now.

    He left Tony’s apartment without a word. Pepper didn’t even have time to register him leaving because he simply blinked away. Tony’s apartment wasn’t that grand anyway and the sandwich wasn’t that amazing. Though, he did take it with him to finish the remaining bit.

    He should explore more but even exploring was getting dull. He already tried having a conversation with Jarvis and that grew dull as well. He could read Bruce’s book.

    Teleporting into the common area, he found the couch that he and Steve once shared coffee on. Perfect place to relax and do some light reading. As he neared the couch, he noticed a black notebook. This wasn’t any black notebook. This was the one Steve was writing in during the meeting. He smiled. How could he resist?

    Grabbing it, Loki flipped through it to see what Steve had been writing during that time. But the written word was found nowhere within those pages. There was nothing but pictures. Drawn pictures of trees, birds and cars. This wasn’t a book for writing. Slowly, Loki turned each page taking in the works of art. The man was so talented. He could be commissioned by kings with such talent. Finally, he reached the page that Steve had been working on during the meeting. Loki knew it had to be the right one because he recognized the room in the background and more importantly the model Steve chose. The model was him.

     This was drawn with love. It was evident in the painful attention to detail. It was shown in the soft shading in his eyes and the attention to the small hint of a smile Loki never knew he wore during the meeting. Everything was done perfectly, lovingly and beautifully. It was beautiful. Loki wasn’t just thinking it was because he was in the center of the page. It just felt beautiful and he was overwhelmed by the emotion that followed.

 _“I had hoped your time here would have made you see there were some things on Earth worth fighting for.”_ Fury had said that to him earlier that day and he hadn’t cared about those words at all. So why was he thinking about them now?

     Loki tossed the notebook back onto the couch as if it had burned him. This was ridiculous. So, Steve could draw. So, what? It didn’t matter what talents the man had. It didn’t matter if the picture was beautiful. It was just a picture. Besides, he was uninterested in making Doom an enemy and they could handle it. They had to handle it.

     Loki sat down on the couch and pulled out Bruce’s book. Maybe reading a little will ease his mind. He couldn’t help but be impressed the moment he got two pages in. It was about some background information of previous studies that were conducted prior to Dr. Banner’s very own. Even though the ideas weren’t his, it was explained so plainly and perfectly. The ideas that Bruce wanted to research and why he had come to his own hypothesis to test, were fascinating. Loki felt like this man was better at explaining things than any of his former tutors in Asgard (besides his mother).

     Bruce was remarkable. He was so intelligent and was worth much more to the Avengers than just some man, who occasionally turned into a raging monster. He had such deep wells of knowledge within him. If they would listen to him, he could bring so much more to the team. But like Loki, Bruce was taken for granted a lot of the times. He was never allowed to flourish on his own as a man apart from the Hulk. Loki wondered how he was faring in the battle. He shook his head. Bruce would be fine. The beast was powerful and even someone like Doom wouldn’t be able to bring him down. Especially if his brother was there aiding the beast.

     However, Thor was hurt earlier. Loki hadn’t looked at the screen to see if he was alright. Before he had been too blinded by his anger to be concerned but now it was all he could feel. Three against one wasn’t good odds and from what the news showed there were many more where that came from. They would be fine. Thor had a knack of surviving dreadful situations even without Loki’s help. He had done it before. Perhaps not as many times as he had **with** Loki’s help, but it wasn’t impossible. Besides it was just Doom.

     Just Doom. Loki would be a fool to think that way. He should never underestimate the man. After all, they worked well together and that was reason enough not to think so little of him. Thor had weaknesses. Terrible, ridiculous weaknesses. He didn’t think before he attacked. He just went into battles like a fool and he frequently became prey to scheming. Thor could be tricked easily and that was horrible to say of a man who was the brother of the God of Mischief. However, Thor always fell for his tricks. He’d wise up at times but only if he had been tricked in a similar manner before. Doom was clever and calculating. Thor was impatient and impulsive.

    No, Thor was smarter than he was giving him credit before. He had caught on to Loki’s schemes before. Perhaps not as quickly as he should have but he was still learning. Maybe Doom wouldn’t be able to trick him. The more Loki thought of it, the less he believed himself. Thor would most definitely be tricked.

     But that had nothing to do with him!

    Loki shut the book and laid it on the coffee table. He suddenly wasn’t in the mood for reading. Looking around, he noticed a large television hanging off one of the walls. He just wanted to check on their progress. Just to see when they were returning.

     He immediately saw Iron Man get shocked by one of the Doom bots and plummet down. The suit must be malfunctioning. It’ll be fine. He’d catch himself. His eyes widened as he watched the mortal crash into the top of a building. It wasn’t that great of a fall. Surely, humans could survive something like that. Right? But Tony wasn’t moving. Loki leaned his body towards the television. He watched Iron Man lift himself up and immediately, let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

     The perspective shifted to his brother wrestling a few who for some reason was trying to hold on to him. This was new. Most of the time they would just fight like Doom himself would. Although the combat Doom bots seemed more powerful than Doom himself at times. Why would they want to embrace his brother so readily? _They can self-destruct_. Loki remembered and suddenly he had had enough of the news. He had had enough of the tower. He had had enough of pretending this wasn’t his concern. Surely, Doom would not kill his brother in such a way. Thor was a god after all, but his brother was already injured. He could take a beating now and then, but Loki found himself unsure if he could handle an entire army of these things. Enough was enough.

    Loki stood up and blinked out of the tower.


	15. You Made Me a Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries helping out against Doom but things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is going to be an intense scene with graphic depiction of violence. Blood and a lot of emotional pain. I tried to keep it not very graphic and explain it minimally but people take things differently. 
> 
> If you are unsure if you want to proceed, come to the bottom and I'll give you the situation.

     The first thing he heard, when he arrived, was an explosion. Loki cringed. Hurrying towards his brother, he was relieved to see him still struggling with the Doom bots. The explosion must have been elsewhere. Loki smiled a little. So, he wasn’t too late.

     “Hey there!” He shouted gaining the bots’ attentions. He walked closer to them, as it was apparent they were making no effort to leave Thor’s form. He had to find a way to get them to cancel their self-destruct sequence. Could they cancel it once it began? Loki didn’t know what to do besides walk towards them confidently in hopes their confusion may make them loosen their grips. Would that work? Loki wasn’t sure how the AI worked on Doom bots. Sometimes they acted no different from Doom himself. He could only hope. He forced a smile. “Save some for me!”

     If they continued their sequence, Loki wouldn’t die. He would get injured, but he wouldn’t die. It would however be a waste of a good suit. Though he was sure Tony would buy him another just like this one. His brother, however, wouldn’t fare well though. He looked awfully worn down. What could he do in this situation?

     All the Doom bots were staring at him as he approached silently. Once he reached them, they all jumped from his brother like they suddenly became aware of what they were doing. That wasn’t right. They were just robots. Thor turned to them and quickly took advantage of their strange behavior. He knocked them into a nearby building where they completed their self-destruction sequence. Odd but fortunate.

     “I’d help you, brother, but healing others isn’t really my forte.” Loki watched as his brother dusted himself off. Instead of looking thankful for his younger brother’s arrival, he appeared annoyed.

     “Brother, you came to mock me?” Thor growled, and Loki didn’t know what he expected. Of course, his brother wouldn’t want him here. Probably thinks Loki would get in the way.

     “Is that anyway to speak to your savior?” The trickster asked becoming just as annoyed as Thor was. He should have just let the god blow up. His brother noticed his expression and shook his head. Was he shaking his head because he felt Loki did save him or was he shaking his head because he thought Loki was wrong? He didn’t have time to think about it when a familiar voice spoke from above.

     “My dear Loki, what business do you have here?” Loki wasn’t sure if the man standing on the nearby building was the real Doom or just another bot. It was hard to tell sometimes. “Do you dare ally yourself with these fools? Do you dare to fight against the glory that is Doom?”

     Loki had to take a moment before he spoke. He was used to Doom’s arrogant theatrics and odd habit of speaking of himself in third person. It wasn’t like Loki hadn’t picked up the habit himself at times. And maybe he had a flair for dramatics himself. Maybe. Though, having it directed at him was different and made it a little hard to keep his laughter in check. The glory that is Doom? When Loki had his speeches did he sound like that too? How did the Avengers keep a straight face? Clearing his throat, Loki looked up at his once ally and smiled.

     “To be fair, this was not my first choice. However, I find I may be obligated to battle against you. I need the Avengers alive for my own plans.” He explained casually, as if going against Doom was like telling a friend you weren’t attending a party with them.  Loki shrugged. “No hard feelings?”

     “You could abandon whatever plan you are scheming and join my side, Loki.” Doom spoke with no disappointment in his voice. It was as if he knew that Loki would have betrayed him eventually. Probably did. They knew each other so well. “Where you belong and always have.”

     “Excuse me?” Loki was a bit taken aback. Where he belonged and always had? What was Doom talking about? Didn’t he like doing things on his own and only allied when it was necessary?

     “We could rule this world together, Loki.” Doom continued unaware of the trickster’s confusion and growing discomfort. “You and I in a glorious, _intimate_ partnership.”

     “I thought the mighty Victor Von Doom didn’t have partners.” Loki teased but inside he was absolutely horrified. Intimate partnership? INTIMATE? What had gotten into this man? Had he gone mad?

     The potion. It had to be the potion. It had been days since Amora’s concoction was thrown on him. Loki couldn’t even smell it any longer as it was washed away by his brother. Yet, it still worked. After all this time it was still working, and Loki had no idea how to stop it.

     “I find myself willing to make an exception for you. You should feel honored.” Doom told him as if this wasn’t the most ludicrous thing he had ever suggested. Loki backed up until he was by his brother’s side.

     “That’s the real one, brother.” Loki whispered into Thor’s ear. “Hit him as hard as you can.”

     Thor wasted no time. He raised his hammer and tossed it at Doom, who had been too busy staring at Loki to notice it. That was until it hit him square in the chest. Loki watched as Doom was pushed back and tossed off the building into the adjacent one. He scrunched up his face in mock pain. That had to hurt.

     Thor smiled triumphantly like a dog that just pleased its master. Loki was even tempted to pat him on the head, but he refrained. Pulling out his arm, Thor called Mjolnir to his side. Unfortunately, the hammer wasn’t the only thing that returned to them.

     “So, you will stand by and just watch?” Doom growled as he dusted himself off above them. He flew down directly in front of them. Thor raised his hammer threateningly, but Doom did not seem intimidated in the least. “Very well. Feast your eyes as I destroy your brother. Afterwards, I will claim my prize.”

     “There will be no claiming this day!” Thor roared, and Loki took that moment to slip away from the two. He had no desire to get in between their battle. Both looked like they were making every effort to destroy one another. This was no longer a regular battle. Somehow the atmosphere had changed. They both seemed more desperate. Loki watched confused.

     He could understand Doom. The man was being controlled by the potion. He was obsessed with him and was probably doing all he could to get him. But Thor? Was his older brother protecting him from suitors like one would to a younger sister? Was that what this was? Did that mean when Thor was angry about Loki flirting with his shield brothers, that it wasn’t because he wanted to protect his friends, but because he wanted to protect Loki? Did he really think he couldn’t protect himself?

     Loki was too caught up in his own thoughts to realize that a burst of electricity had been deflected and was heading straight towards him. It only took a second once Loki noticed the light coming towards him, that two large, green arms lifted him out of the way. Loki clutched the beast’s shoulders reflexively as he jumped onto a nearby building.

     “Hulk saved Puny God!” The beast exclaimed excitedly.

     “That you did.” Loki couldn’t believe it. Here he was in the arms of the beast again and despite feeling terrified, he was grateful. In fact, he wasn’t even shaking as much as he had done before. Perhaps his body was starting to understand that he no longer needed to fear the creature.  “I believe a reward is needed?”

     The Hulk looked at him confused but immediately became giddy the moment Loki’s lips touched his cheek. It didn’t turn him back into Banner which was interesting. Usually, when the Hulk was calmed down, he would shrink down. Perhaps the kiss didn’t calm the beast at all. Probably just made him more excited.

     “No. Unfair. Where’s my kiss?” Tony’s voice sounded from above them. The mask was moved out of the way, so all that delicious jealousy was on full view. Looking up at the man with an impish grin, Loki just shook his head.

     “Perhaps if you killed more bots, my lips may be more inclined to meet yours.”

     “Hulk kill more bots! Hulk get Puny God’s kiss.”  The Hulk placed Loki down and roared.

     “Whoever kills the most, will receive Loki’s kiss.” Loki teased and to his delight, it was all that was needed. The Hulk leaped off the building to smash more bots. Tony’s mask fell back into place and he zoomed down to join the fight. He was sure they both were giving it their all. Across from him, he saw Clint on the very same rooftop as him. He seemed to have been listening too because suddenly instead of shooting one arrow at a time, he was setting up three at the same time. 

     This was what the Avengers needed: A little motivation. Loki found himself highly amused. When the day is saved, the good people of Earth had only him to thank. After all, before he came, they seemed to have been doing a terrible job fighting the bots. But now, they were cutting through them like they were nothing. Love was indeed a powerful motivator.

     He did hope they were keeping count because Loki wasn’t sure he could keep up with all their scores. He did know the Hulk was only a little behind Tony, who had the advantage of finding more of them from his higher vantage point. Clint, however, was behind both of them despite having a good vantage point as well. Probably because he wasn’t moving about the city or because he was using arrows against Doom bots. 

     An explosion happened above, and he realized it was because of Clint. It was as if he knew exactly what Loki had been thinking and proved him wrong by destroying a Doom Bot, directly in front of him. He looked so pleased with himself as well. Loki looked away. It wasn’t that impressive.

      He wondered where Steve and Romanov were. They must be elsewhere fighting, but Loki was a little disappointed they weren’t nearby. Steve probably had no idea about the competition and he was sure the man could use a little motivation. Also, it would be funny to watch him bicker with the Hulk and Tony as the two of them seemed to be loudly saying the numbers of those they killed. The Hulk growling every time Tony said a higher number than him and Tony scoffing when the Hulk was ahead. Loki didn’t even know the beast could count.

     Clint wasn’t loudly saying how many he killed but Loki could see his lips move occasionally. He was keeping track. Loki didn’t even have to do anything. They could certainly handle the bots and his brother had beaten Doom easily before. There was nothing to worry about.

     Behind him, there was a large explosion. Loki turned to the direction it came from only to see a large cloud behind him. What just happened?

     “I have come for my prize.”  Someone said behind him and Loki smiled. Were all the bots destroyed already?

     “How many did you-“ Loki paused when he realized who spoke. It was Doom. If Doom was here, then where was his brother? Racing to the edge of the building, Loki saw Thor in the center of a crater. Around him were various robotic parts. Doom must have made his bots surround Thor and explode. That wasn’t fair! That was-  Exactly what he would have done in that situation. He would have used anything in his arsenal to win a battle. So, he couldn’t fault Doom for that.

     But Thor had won so easily last time he fought Doom! Loki was sure even with his injuries he would have made quick work of the man. After all, the man had taken a massive beating the last time they battled. Yet Thor lost to him now? Loki couldn’t believe it. At least, he wasn’t dead. Loki watched as his brother feebly bring himself up to his knees.

     “If there is still life in my body, I will not yield.” He groaned, and Loki rolled his eyes.

     “You fool.” He was so caught up in watching his brother try to bring himself back to his feet that he didn’t notice Doom nearing him. His arm was grabbed roughly, and he was turned to face his once ally. Doom’s eyes seemed delighted by Loki’s surprise.

     “Let him go.” That was Clint’s voice. Looking over Loki saw the archer pointing an arrow at Doom’s head.

     “Surely, you can’t be serious.” Doom looked at him confused. The arrow wasn’t an explosive arrow or one with any other trick. It was just an arrow and Doom was well armored. Loki shrugged a little. He had to agree with Doom. There was no way Clint could be serious. Yet, the archer stood strong even when Doom spoke again. “Do you believe a mere arrow could defeat Doom when even a god has failed?”

     “Peace, Clint.” Loki lifted his free hand to placate the archer. Reluctantly, Clint lowered his arrow. Turning his head, Loki glared at the super villain holding his arm. “Victor, stop the madness.”

     “Madness? Yes, you have driven me mad, my dear Loki.” Doom wrapped his arm around Loki’s waist and brought him closer. Loki looked at him in shock. Did he really think he was permitted to hold a god in such a manner? Did he truly believe he was worthy enough to gain Loki’s affections? He was useful at times, but he wasn’t **that** useful. Doom brought his face closer to Loki’s. “You have always tempted me and now I can no longer deny it.”

     “Victor, please.” Loki didn’t like this. He didn’t want to fight the man. Despite all their failed plans together and all their suspicions about each other, somewhere deep down, Loki respected him. Somewhere deep down Loki considered him a… friend.

     “Oh, I do love the sound of your begging.”

     “Then you leave me no other option.” Loki used both his hands to hit Doom hard in the stomach tossing him away. Doom made the same mistake that many people who fought him on Midgard did. They tended to forget that Loki was more than just “tricks”. He was still as strong as any other Asgardian despite not being one. Maybe not as strong as accomplished warriors but to a mortal, none of that mattered.

      “Loki!” Doom picked himself up from the dent his body made when it fell back down onto the roof.

      “I am no prize, Doom.”

      “This betrayal will not be forgotten, my beautiful Loki.” Doom stood up full of rage. “You will submit to Doom even if I have to force you too.”

      “He’s like a bad ex.” Clint said rummaging through one of the bags he had lying about the building.

      “He was never anything to begin with.” Loki assured him as he watched the archer pull out specialized arrows from the bag.

      “He seems to think so.” He was restocking his quiver with explosive arrows. So, that’s how he had so many. Loki just assumed his quiver was enchanted or something.

      Doom apparently wasn’t happy that Loki was ignoring him and was currently stomping his way towards the two. Clint readied his bow but before he could shoot, someone else joined them on the roof. Thor wobbled a bit but looked as determined as ever. Loki was shocked. Hadn’t he had enough?

      “Stand down, brother.”

      “And allow this **wandought** to claim you?” Thor roared causing Clint to look very confused.

      “What’s a-“

      “WANDOUGHT?!” Doom shouted in outrage. “Are you claiming that Dr. Doom is impotent?”

      “Aye.” It was all it took and they were back to battling again. Loki pulled Clint away from the scene. It seemed Thor did have some fight left in him and by the way the air was charged around them, it would be too dangerous for the archer to be too close.

      Thor fought against Doom like he wasn’t face down in a crater a few minutes ago. Doom fought well but even a very tired and very injured Thor was proving too much of a challenge for the mortal. Loki felt a little proud about that. Doom was no match for his brother.

      “Enough!” Doom shouted after being hit by the hammer and thrown into yet another building. “Apparently, a few doom bots were not enough.”

     “I can withstand any challenge.” Thor yelled back, and Loki dropped his head into one of his hands. The last time left him weak and now he was going to have more? And he was fine with that? Surely, he knew that wasn’t true. Surely, he knew he couldn’t handle it.

     “No, you cannot!” Loki shouted angered by his brother’s stubbornness.

     “Don’t worry, Loki.” Clint said softly as he watched the Doom bots swarm above. “I got this.”

     He watched as the Doom bots near and readied his bow. One by one, Clint quickly shot an explosive arrow on the jet pack of each bot. He made sure they exploded before they even reached Thor. He, also, made sure he did it fast enough that Doom didn’t have time to react. Loki had never seen human hands move so fast. The archer just kept impressing him.

     He really didn’t have to move too quickly as Doom was stunned by the fact a mere archer was destroying his bots. Thor took the opportunity to charge and slam the man into the roof of the building and consequently the following floors below. Loki shook his head. There was no coming back from that one. Thor came back to the top of the roof just in time to see five more bots explode by Hawkeye’s bow.

     “Oh, crap.” Loki heard Tony’s voice above him as the billionaire destroyed two on their way to the building. “That’s more than I killed.”

     Clint reached back to his quiver and realized he was out of arrows. It was alright though. There weren’t many left, and Loki was sure they could destroy any stragglers. The Quinjet flew over them but didn’t land. They couldn’t. The structural integrity of the roof was compromised, and Loki was sure if it landed they would all just fall in.

     “Good job, guys.” Loki heard Romanov’s voice being projected from the aircraft. “Let’s get Doom and call it a day.”

      “You dare make a mockery of Doom!?” Doom’s voice was the last thing Loki thought he would hear. The next was Clint screaming in pain as a burst of electricity hit him and he flew back landing on a sharp broken metal beam. It was near the edge and exposed by the damage that had been done to the roof. If it hadn’t caught the archer, he would have plummeted down to his death. But catching him was no better. The ripped, exposed beam had pierced the archer’s back and emerged from the left side of his chest. It was dyed red with his blood.

      “Oh my god, Clint.” Loki heard Romanov speak but everything else became a blur. Doom was forgotten. He didn’t know if anyone else was fighting him or if their attentions were solely on the archer. He didn’t care. Loki raced to Clint’s side wondering if he should pull him off the beam and attempt to heal him. He had to. The archer would die otherwise.

     He reached for Clint, who was finding it difficult to talk. He shouldn’t be talking now. He needed to conserve his strength. Quickly, Loki pulled him off the beam and the archer coughed violently. Blood was everywhere. It was all over Loki and the god found himself unable to stop trembling. He had to focus. Stitch the wound together.

     Clint was gasping for air, but blood was quickly filling his lungs. His chest was moving asymmetrically and there was so much blood. Loki couldn’t get over how much blood there was. Stitch together. Focus. The wound was getting smaller, but it wasn’t closing. What was he doing wrong? Why wasn’t he better at healing spells? All this knowledge of magic and he failed. He failed because he wasn’t good enough. He couldn’t even save a human. Loki was too caught up in his own thoughts that he barely registered the man who had joined his side.

     “I’m terrible at healing spells.”  Loki found himself saying aloud.

     “We need to get him to a hospital NOW!” That was Tony’s voice? Loki wasn’t sure. He had to focus. Heal him but Clint couldn’t breathe. There was so much blood in his mouth. It probably wasn’t letting him breathe. Quickly, Loki rolled Clint onto his left side, where the wound was. He focused his energy in removing the blood from his upper airway.

     “What are you doing?” Was that Steve? When did he get here? Loki didn’t even look up to check.

     “He’s going to choke.”  Was all he could say. He had to do something. Clint’s eyes were so wide and so full of fear. He was gasping for air. He was dying. And the blood. So much blood.

     There was something wet rolling down his cheeks. If Loki had time to think about it, he would have realized it was his own tears. But he was too distraught. Too afraid of the idea that this could be Clint’s last mission with the Avengers. He couldn’t go. He had people waiting for him.

     “Please, Clint.” Loki found himself begging.  “You have a family.”

     Clint’s body was moved from him and Loki barely registered the strong arms that held him back. The archer was being gently moved to a white stretcher. Loki didn’t even acknowledge the individuals moving. All he could see was Clint gasping for air and the blood escaping his lips.

     They brought Loki back to the tower. He barely registered how he got there. His brother helped him clean up but no matter how many times he washed his arms, he felt the blood was still there. Like it had seeped into his skin and would never leave. He did this. The blood was on his hands.

     If he didn’t have this potion. If Doom wasn’t motivated to obtain Loki like some sort of spoil, Thor wouldn’t have tried protecting him. If Thor didn’t cause Doom so much anger, he wouldn’t have summoned his bots. Then Clint wouldn’t have destroyed so many and gained Doom’s ire. This was all Loki’s fault.

     It was always his fault. The people of Asgard always blamed him for their misfortune and maybe they were right. Maybe Loki was just too blind to see that he really was the cause for all of Asgard’s woes. He was cursed. He had to be.

     He felt a gentle hand stroke the back of his head. His brother’s voice was whispering soothing words. Telling him everything would be alright. But everything couldn’t be alright. Everything wouldn’t be alright because of him.

     Loki became angry. He was so angry at himself, at his brother who wouldn’t stand down and at Doom. He was angriest at Doom because it was better than twisting his anger towards himself. But he deserved it didn’t he. He deserved to have his rage aimed towards himself. He deserved to be hurt. Clint’s family deserved to see him killed. He took their father from them. He deserved it. But he wouldn’t hurt himself not before he released his rage on the others who deserved it.

     He was sure the archer was dead. There was no way he survived. His brother led him down a white corridor on a floor he hadn’t explored before. The medical bay, they called it. Loki didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to see what he had done. He didn’t want to see Clint lifeless on some table. He wanted to remember the archer smiling at him and stupidly falling for Loki’s tricks. He wanted to remember him alive.

     “You saved his life.” Romanov spoke when he approached their destination. Beyond the double doors was Clint and he was still alive. Loki didn’t know how to react to such news. “Even if you are shit at healing spells.”

      “He’s stable.” Bruce was standing in front of the double doors, just recently exiting the room. Beyond him was the archer, that Loki was sure. He was alive. Loki hadn’t killed him. He was alive. Thor squeezed his shoulder and Loki suddenly realized the position he was in. “If you want to…”

      “Ah, yes.” Loki moved from his brother and gulped. He supposed he should enter the room. He had to see Clint alive. It was the only thing that would relieve him of so much guilt. He would still feel guilty but at least this would alleviate some of it. Loki hated feeling this way. He hated feeling so angry and unable to control himself. It felt unreal. Everything felt unreal and he just wanted to stop.

      “Doom got away.” Fury spoke behind him with a very disappointed voice.

     “Yeah, funny thing about that.” That was Tony. He was nearby as well? “We tend to care more about one of our members dying than catching that psychopath. We’re just weird like that.”

      Loki didn’t hear the rest of the conversation because he had gathered his courage and walked into the room. He didn’t know what he expected to see. He wasn’t expecting Clint to be all better smiling and laughing but he also didn’t expect this.

     Clint had a tube down his throat and appeared to be sleeping. There was a monitor to his left hooked up to various wires that traced back to the archer. The tube in his mouth was attached to corrugated tubing to a machine on his right. It, also, displayed numbers but Loki didn’t know what it was for. There was a small hum and the sound of air flowing in and out. There was a small, skinny tube that ran from his hand to a strange device on the side. It had different buttons and two large bags above. He looked so vulnerable.

      “He had a pneumo-hemothorax on his left side.” Bruce’s voice caused Loki to jump a little. He didn’t hear him enter the room. The doctor looked apologetic but continued. “We drained what we could, there’s still a chest tube in place. He is stable but it’s best that the ventilator does the breathing for him right now.”

      A woman entered holding a clip board. She looked at the monitors and was writing something down. Ventilator? Loki looked at the tube in Clint’s mouth. The machine was breathing for him? How could he go on like this? Was he going to remain this way? Was this even living?

      “It missed his heart. He’s lucky you helped him. What you did was the difference between life and death.” Bruce told him not noticing the pain and confusion on Loki’s face. “With a pneumothorax, it is good that you put the bad lung down. You protected his good lung and made sure he could still get air. Also, it helps to keep the bad lung opened more. Your, uh, suction technique helped too so he wouldn’t choke, or have it drain into his good lung. But he lost a lot of blood and his left lung did collapse. His blood pressure was so low, he could have gone into shock at any moment. He was lucky. Not a lot of people could say the same. But he’s getting IV fluids and we already gave him some blood. Sorry, I’m rambling.”

      “No, it’s fine.” Loki was trying to take this all in. He saved Clint? He helped him. Even though it was his fault the man got hurt in the first place, he helped him. This couldn’t be permanent. If it was Bruce wouldn’t have been sounding so hopeful. So, this had to get better, right? “Can he hear me?”

      “He’s sedated but probably.” Bruce nodded and looked at Loki for a moment. It was as if he was trying to understand the array of emotions flashing across the god’s eyes. What would he see? The guilt? The anger? The pain? Relief? All of it? Loki didn’t know what he had seen but the man just sighed and nodded again. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

      Bruce nodded to the woman, who had been listening to Clint’s chest. She looked up to the doctor and nodded back. Putting her stethoscope back onto her neck, she grabbed her clipboard and smiled softly at Loki. She left quickly with Bruce, leaving Loki alone with Clint.

      Now that everything had calmed down, Loki could think more clearly. He was still angry, but he knew that would never go away. He felt awful that this could even happen. This was never his intention but why did he feel so strongly about this? Clint was an Avenger. They had fought against each other many times. Why did he care about his life so much? Why did it hurt to think that there may have been a chance the archer didn’t make it?

      “You fool.” Loki wasn’t sure if he was speaking to himself or the archer. He didn’t know when it happened. He didn’t understand how it had happened. He thought he had just wanted to play around with the Avengers. He thought he had wanted to control them and have them do his bidding. He just liked the attention and the admiration. Right? It was harder to convince himself of that now because somehow things changed. He didn’t know when they had but he no longer viewed them as enemies. He cared about them. All of them. He couldn’t imagine Steve, Tony, Bruce or even Romanov in the place of Clint. He would have felt just as troubled. Somewhere in between his scheming and complaining, he began to care about them.

      He didn’t know what to do with that revelation. How was he going to get anything done with these emotions in the way? What was he going to do when the potion did wear off? What was he going to do when they all hated him again?

      Loki grabbed a chair from the wall and pulled it towards the bed. He was careful not to get any of the wires mixed up while doing so. Sitting in the chair, he reached forward and grabbed Clint’s hand. Clint hated him the most after he regained control over his own mind. This moment would be forgotten. No, not forgotten but probably twisted.

      Would it be twisted? Loki knew the reason Clint was lying here, having a machine breath for him, was because of him. It was his fault and perhaps an affected Clint would forgive him but when the potion wore off, Loki knew there would be no forgiveness. He would see the situation for what it was and hate him even more for it.

      The potion would wear off. No matter how potent it was, everything ended eventually. Loki didn’t know the time he had left. It could be a few days or even a year. What if today was the last day and Loki woke up tomorrow morning with everyone wanting him dead? He shook his head. He shouldn’t think about this, not now.

      “You need to make a full recovery.” Loki found himself saying to Clint. Even if he was sedated, he hoped the man could hear him. Whether the potion was gone tomorrow or a year from now didn’t matter. Clint was alive. He should be glad for that. He should take this momentary happiness. He gave the archer’s hand a squeeze and spoke again. Just to give him a little incentive to get better. “After all, you killed the most bots.”

      The doors swung open and Thor entered the room looking very worried. He supposed no one told Thor that Loki was having time alone with the archer. Or perhaps Thor figured Loki had had enough time. The trickster removed his hand from Clint’s while Thor pulled up a chair beside him.

      They didn’t talk. Thor didn’t ask him what he was doing or what he was scheming. He just sat beside him silently like one word would ruin everything. Thor briefly took in the archer’s condition. Loki saw him look around at the man, but ultimately, turned his gaze towards him. He felt Thor’s hand touch his head, gently stroking down to his neck.

      “The fault was not yours, brother.” Thor told him, and Loki found himself leaning in to his touch. He allowed his brother to wrap an arm around his shoulder and hold him close. He had always wanted to hear those words. He never knew how much he had waited to hear them until now. Not just for this but for everything. Just once he wanted to hear it. No one ever did anything but point the blame to Loki. It was so good to hear at least one person not believing it so.

      Perhaps if Thor believed it wasn’t his fault, maybe Loki could too.

      Maybe everything would be alright.

     Loki wanted to believe it would be but he knew all of this had a time limit.

     A time limit he didn’t know.

     A time limit one person did know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after Romanov suggests calling it a day. Shit gets real. Someone gets impaled and it is described somewhat vividly.  
> Not into that?  
> Stop reading at that point and I'll summarize the rest of the chapter for you in the comments. Just let me know. I got you.


	16. Never Could Get It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is on the fast track to recovery! Flirty healthcare workers, jealous brothers and a trip to meet the enchantress. Oh, and maybe see an old friend again.

     They didn’t talk much the entire night. Loki decided to stay by Clint’s side the entire time. Was it out of guilt or out of worry, he wasn’t sure. Thor didn’t wish to leave Loki alone that night, so they both ended up staying by the archer’s side. But no words were shared between them. They didn’t need to talk. Words weren’t needed. Loki knew Thor wasn’t going to leave his side and for the first time, it didn’t irritate him. He wanted Thor there. He felt better with him by his side.

     There was something unspoken between them that Loki didn’t know how to put into words. There was just this full feeling he had inside when he thought of Thor being there to support him. **Him** of all people **.** Even though Loki felt like it would be so easy to point the blame at him, Thor did not. He told him it wasn’t his fault. He told him everything was going to be alright.

     Thor wasn’t known for lying. It’s not that he never had done so before, but Loki knew he could trust him. Perhaps, at times, he was the only person Loki could trust. But that couldn’t last forever could it? They weren’t really brothers and anything he was feeling now would pass. It always did.

     He and Thor were too different. So different that Loki sometimes believed the only reason they were so close in their youth was because they had been brothers. But they weren’t really brothers and they never would be. He could never change the truth of his parentage. He could never change his blood to that of a true son of Odin. He would always feel the cold inside and Thor will forever be as warm as the summer sun. Perhaps Thor was here for him now because of memories of when they did not know the truth. Perhaps that is what caused him to be by his side and hold him close. Even though his brother was here for him now, there will come a time he won’t be. Nothing had changed between them.  There was too much left unsaid and yet, Loki felt like something had. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.

     He didn’t know when, but he had fallen asleep in his brother’s arms. When he awoke, Thor was snoring rather loudly on his head. Loki was horrified. He hoped his brother was not drooling as well! The doors opened as the woman from before walked in. Quickly, Loki jolted up, the top of his head hitting Thor’s chin. Thor groaned in pain and looked around the room confused as Loki rubbed the top of his head.

     If she saw the sorry display before her, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she shook Clint’s shoulder and smiled at him. Clint was awake, aware and very unhappy to have a tube down his throat. The woman explained that she was a nurse and she was bringing back his sedation so that they could get the tube out. Clint reached towards the tube and the woman explained that he could not just pull it out and would have to wait. She instructed Loki to take his hand as Thor was busy trying to fall back to sleep. It was a way to keep him from yanking the tube out prematurely.

     Loki touched Clint’s hand and smiled at him. The archer’s face lit up immediately but then he noticed Thor. Apparently, his brother looked intimidating even when he was still half asleep because his expression changed drastically to a more serious expression. Loki looked back to see his brother just rubbing his eyes. That would hardly be considered intimidating.

     Another woman entered (another nurse?) and the two busied themselves with Clint. Well, that was what they wanted Loki to believe. It was clear they were busier with trying to brush up against his older brother. They didn’t even tell Loki and Thor to move back. That would have given them better access to the patient and they wouldn’t have to squeeze between them. Loki moved back out of curtesy, but his dim-witted brother hadn’t realized he should scoot back. Did he fall asleep again? Or was he that interested in having one of these women? Didn’t he already have a mortal? The new nurse that had entered even touched his brother’s thigh as she squeezed in front of him. The audacity of that woman! Wasn’t she here to help the patient not flaunt herself like some cheap whore in a brothel?

     Loki was livid. These women were beyond unprofessional. His brother wasn’t even reacting to it. Was he really asleep again?! Loki kicked Thor’s chair. Thor, who was still in a state somewhere between asleep and awake, looked back at him confused. It wasn’t until that same woman was inches from sitting in his lap that he realized what was happening. Quickly, he moved his seat back.

     “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.” She said with the fakest apologetic look Loki had ever seen. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. _Harlot._

     There was a hand on his shoulder suddenly. He looked up to see the first nurse smiling at him. What did she want? Why was she touching him? Wasn’t she supposed to be looking after Clint?  The smile was strange. It wasn’t innocent at all. Something was going on behind it. Was she upset Loki stopped her friend from sitting on his brother? Where was her friend? His eyes darted around the room.

     That other woman was gone. Good. She was a terrible healer. She was more focused on taking advantage of a sleeping man than caring for her patient. Where ever she was, she couldn’t be far enough away.

     “Is there anything you need me to get you?” The nurse in front of him asked. She was still touching him. It was a light touch but one he didn’t ask for. “You have been here all night. Would you like something to drink or eat?”

     “He’s fine.” Thor snapped. Loki looked over at him in shock. What did he have to be angry about? The nurse immediately removed her hand and smiled nervously.

      “Ready to get that tube out?” Bruce entered the room unaware of the tension. It was good timing on his part because it allowed the nurse to hurry away. Unfortunately, behind him was the other woman, who had tried to take advantage of Thor before. Why was she back? Couldn't get enough of harassing his brother?

     “Is it too early? It has only been a day.” Loki asked confused. Thor yawned and leaned back into his chair. The anger the thunderer held before was forgotten and apparently, he wanted to go back to sleep.

     “It’s never too early if they don’t need it.” Bruce assured them. “His last ABG was great, he passed all his weaning parameters. And look at him.” Bruce turned to Clint and smiled. “You want this out, don’t you?”

     The archer gave the doctor a thumbs-up. Of course, he would want that out of his throat. Loki was sure it wasn’t comfortable at all. He couldn’t imagine trying to breathe through a tube. It looked like he was breathing through a straw and according to Bruce, it was all the way down to his chest. Loki saw an X-ray yesterday and it was horrifying.

     “You can leave if you don’t want to look at it.” The woman, Thor’s admirer, told him. Loki was definitely not going to leave. That would be exactly what this woman wanted, wouldn’t it? She was just waiting for him to be gone so she could have his brother all to herself. Speaking of his brother, he was snoring quite loudly again. Did he have no sense of danger!? Must Loki do everything?

     Loki turned his focus to Bruce. If his brother wanted to sleep unprotected in front of a woman who was practically salivating all over the floor for him, then he deserved whatever he got. But just the thought of him letting the woman touch his brother unsettled him. It shouldn’t though. He already tried his best to protect his brother’s nonexistent virtue.  He had done the brotherly thing. So, now whatever happened to him happened to him.

      Yet, the feeling continued. Loki was not his mortal woman. He had no claim on him. He was merely irritated that a woman would be so audacious to throw herself at a prince of Asgard. That had to be it. This gnawing feeling was just outrage. Nothing more.

     “And the chest tube?” Loki asked the doctor trying to push down the unpleasantness in his gut.

     “That’s going too.” Bruce told him. “X-rays look great.”

     The woman went to Clint’s side as Bruce went to the other. They did a few things before ultimately pulling the tube out of his mouth and laying it on a towel. The woman wrapped the tube with the towel and tossed it in the trash. Meanwhile, Bruce instructed Clint to cough a little. After a few breaths, the woman came back and placed a mask on his face. They assured Loki that it was only for the cool mist it produced so that the airway didn’t swell.

     “Try talking.” Bruce encouraged.

     “Do I get my kiss?” Was the first thing Clint said and Loki smiled widely. Of course, that would be the first thing on his mind.

     Bruce didn’t look pleased at all. He walked away grumbling about how the Hulk should have killed more and Clint must have gotten lucky. Was he jealous? Loki turned his head to watch the doctor hurry out. The trickster had to stifle a chuckle. Bruce Banner just hurried out of the room because he was so jealous he probably feared turning. It was amusing, he should enjoy it, but for some reason he remembered what Steve had told him.

_“You aren’t the only one that can feel hurt or ignored. You aren’t the only one who can feel pain.”_

     He wasn’t even here, and he was ruining Loki’s fun. Loki didn’t want the doctor to feel hurt. He was a sweet man and Loki respected him. But being jealous wasn’t the same thing as feeling hurt. Was it? Loki shook his head. It wasn’t his concern. Besides, he owed Clint a kiss.

     Leaning over the bed, Loki placed his lips softly onto the archer’s cheek. The man smiled briefly but his expression changed to incredulous.

     “Just the cheek?” He gave Loki a flirty smile, but the trickster just smiled impishly back.

     “I never said where.” Loki teased causing the archer to frown. He chuckled a bit and moved away from the bed. Giving Thor’s chair a harsh kick, he watched his brother fall off the chair onto the floor. That woke him up.

      Thor didn’t need to stay here any longer. Clint was alright. Everything was going to be alright. For now. Loki remembered that he had to find out the time limit for the potion. He needed to know when all of this would eventually end. There was only one person he could go to for that.

      He escorted Thor into the hall noticing Romanov speaking to Bruce about Clint’s condition. She was still wearing what she wore yesterday. Did she stay in the hall all night? Loki remembered that the two were close. When he first learned of it, he had misinterpreted it for romance but, seeing as Clint was married and Romanov was pining for the good doctor, he supposed they were just good friends. Loki felt a little jealous. _It would be nice to have friends like that_.

     Loki shook his head. Why did he even think that? Deciding to leave them be, he continued to escort his brother back to his room. Thor flopped onto his bed in the most ungraceful manner Loki had ever seen. His brother just went head first onto the bed and didn’t move. He did take a beating yesterday, so he was probably exhausted. That was good though. He wouldn’t realize Loki was gone.

      Taking a deep breath, Loki teleported out of the room.

      Time to talk to Amora.

     It wasn’t hard to find her. The places she liked to inhabit were predictable. Amora didn’t like the idea of living in squander and there were only a few places that would entice such a being. Her only grace was that the Avengers never really cared to understand Amora enough to know where she would hide. Not surprising. She may have caused minor problems here or there but ultimately, she wasn’t much of a threat to Earth itself. Once she even allied with Loki, but her attentions were only on one goal: Seduce Thor.  The only Avenger that ever had to deal with her as a major problem was Thor. Even then, it was all terribly executed. Loki told her that her plan to control Thor would fail but did she listen? No.

     She even tried to control Loki at one point but to her horror, Loki was immune to such attempts. He was flattered though. It wasn’t everyday a woman tried to seduce him to gain the throne of Asgard. Especially when he were the second prince and adopted no less. Too bad it didn’t work out for her.

     She had only been on Midgard for a few months at the most. Desperately trying to snag one of the princes. Mainly Thor though. Loki wasn’t offended by that. After all, Thor was in line for the throne and Amora had her eyes on the crown. As for Shield and the Avengers, apparently having a woman try to bed one of their members was not considered much of a threat. If anything, the Avengers just regarded her as a nuisance for now.

 _Poor little Amora, having no weight attached to her deeds._ Loki mused as he entered her penthouse. And what a lovely penthouse it was. Amora must have seduced a real Midgardian prince for such a place. Every inch of it looked like it was carved from marble. Marble flooring, marble columns and even the walls were made of polished marble. It actually seemed excessive. No one loved marble that much, but he had no room to talk. The palace he grew up in was covered excessively in gold.

     “Leave.” Amora told him rising from a very ornate fainting couch. He had spent enough time in Midgard to understand certain styles. This was Victorian was it not? Everything in this lovely home was of either Victorian or classical design. It was lovely, but they should have gone with a better color scheme. It was all so blindingly white. At least there was large window to overlook the entire city. Maybe it could distract from the lack of a color scheme.

     “Peace, Amora.” Loki lifted his hands up to show that he was unarmed. It probably wouldn’t do him any good. Amora knew what he was capable of and many a times, he hadn’t needed hands. “I am your ally.”

     “More lies from the liesmith.”

     She was angry, and Loki could understand. Having your plans destroyed because of someone else would cause such anger. However, Loki didn’t ask for her to be near him when he was fighting Thor. He didn’t ask to have her perfume tossed all over him. It didn’t even smell that great.

     “You should not have interrupted our battle.” He told her causing Amora to fume.

     “And you should not have thrown yourself upon me!”

     “That was hardly my fault.” Loki argued. If he recalled Thor was the one that sent him flying in the first place. He shook his head. This was just getting Amora angrier and she would be less incline to help him if she remained so. “I have not come to argue over the past. I simply wish to gain knowledge about your potion.”

     “My perfect potion.” Amora suddenly had the face of someone who had lost a loved one. It was like Amora was the mother and the potion had been her child. It was just a potion! She didn’t have to look like that.

     “Perfect, indeed.” Loki humored her. “So, how long does the affects last?”

     “It lasts but a fortnight. However, I never planned to have the bottle’s entire contents tossed upon someone. How many days has it been already? Should not be long now.” Amora smiled bitterly. Her eyes remained dangerous and the twisted smile she had on her face made Loki uneasy.

     A fortnight? This would be the sixth day which would mean he only had eight days left! All his plans were going to have to speed up. Could Tony finish his weapon in less than eight days? He was too busy thinking to notice Amora approaching him.

     “How is it having the Crown Prince of Asgard at your beck and call?” She inquired sourly.

     Thor at his beck and call? Loki had to stop himself from laughing out loud. Thor was the same as he always had been albeit a little angrier, but it was understandable. Loki did always know what buttons to push. But to say he was at his mercy was hilarious. Thor was doing nothing that Loki wanted him to do and if anything, was thwarting his plans incessantly.

     “I wouldn’t know.” Loki admitted. “It doesn’t seem to work on Asgardians.” 

     “Another lie? Surely, your mouth knows how to speak truth once and a while.”

     “I assure you this is no lie. My brother behaves as he always has.”

     Amora’s eyes widened in shock. Perhaps she never considered her potion not working for its intended purpose. Slowly, her shocked face vanished and was replaced by one of amusement. Perhaps she was relieved that her plan was thwarted because it wouldn’t have worked any way. Or maybe she was just amused by the idea that only Midgardian men were tossing themselves at Loki’s feet. Whatever it was, it caused a small amused laugh to escape her lips.

      “You’re a fool, Loki. All this time more foolish than you could ever imagine.”

      Loki was taken aback. He just told her that her potion did not work for Asgardians and she called him the fool. Midgardians had a term for this. He had been taught it by Tony Stark during one of their encounters on the battlefield. It was called projecting. Projecting or not, she had no right to insult him.

     “Hold your tongue, enchantress. I came as an ally, but I may leave as your enemy if you so choose to continue insulting me.”

      “My potion was perfect. It does have an effect on Asgardians.” Amora asserted. She stood tall, puffing out her chest like some bird trying to look larger. Loki didn’t know what she was hoping to achieve by doing such. It was the opposite of intimidating.

      “So, you are unwilling to admit your failures.” Loki marveled at the sheer stubbornness the enchantress had. “I had thought better of you.”

      “Hold your tongue, trickster. It is I who will become the future of Asgard and I will not have you doubt my abilities!” She screeched at him clearly growing angrier by the minute. She pressed her lips together and Loki could see she was thinking. Was she planning to attack him? It wouldn’t be wise. “I’ll prove it to you.”

     Prove it to him? How would she prove it to him? Loki was too caught up in his mind, imagining all the possible ways Amora would do so, that he hadn’t realized the portal forming under him. Well, until it was already too late.

     “What are you doing? I can’t go back there!” Loki shrieked. Amora’s magic was all around him. He hadn’t enough time to counter it before it engulfed him.

     “You shall see the truth. I will make it so.” Amora’s voice said as the penthouse started to fade from view.

     “You wretched strumpet!” Was the last thing Loki could yell before he landed on the soft grass in front of two pairs of legs. A woman squealed in fright as she leapt to her feet.

     Loki slowly brought himself up. It was undignified for a prince of Asgard to be tossed on the ground like some unwanted object. He looked over at the woman, who was no one he knew but he did recognize her clothing. It was the average dress a common person in the kingdom of Asgard wore.

     She hurried back to the bench beside the man she was with. No doubt they had been kissing in this secluded area before he arrived. Loki turned to look at the man and was horrified that he recognized him. Out of everyone he had to fall in front of, it was one of his brother’s lackeys: Fandral, who stared up at him with wide, shocked eyes.

     He was doomed.


	17. Unless You Were Fed It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandral finds the one, Loki remains oblivious and Tony's thirst saves the day.

     There were so many emotions flashing across Fandral’s face. Loki supposed the man’s mind must be trying to process everything rapidly. The woman, he had been wooing, wrapped her arms around one of his and held on to him tightly. She was afraid of him and it was more than just the fear of getting caught. Did she recognize him as their once prince? Were there horror stories said about him?

     Suddenly, a look of realization flashed in Fandral’s eyes. It was strange. Surely, he didn’t just realize this was Loki, his once friend. Were they friends? Loki felt like all his brother’s lackeys merely tolerated him. Fandral was always nicer to him though. So, it could have been worse. He could have fell in front of the Lady Sif. That would have been horrific.

     Just as strange, as the slow realization in his eyes, was Fandral’s behavior directly afterwards. He turned quickly to his shivering maiden and pushed her from him. It was in one swift and very harsh motion. Looking quite shocked, she fell to the ground. Without even so much as an apologetic look, the warrior turned his gaze to Loki.

     “She means nothing to me!” He avowed making Loki lift his brow in surprise. Why would that matter to him?

     “Of course, she doesn’t. You bed a new maiden every other week.” Loki chuckled, enjoying the furious blush that graced the maiden’s face. She stood up and glowered at the handsome warrior, her eyes on the verge of tears. Was it tears of frustration or sadness? Surely, every maiden must have heard tales of Fandral the Dashing. The people of Asgard do not shy from tales of his more promiscuous ways.

     “You spoke such honeyed words to me! You likened me to the moon and the stars!” She cried.

     “Had I?” The warrior smiled nervously at Loki, who just ignored him. The prince didn’t even lift a finger to help the man when the maiden slapped him hard. Instead, Loki just scrunched up his face in mock pain. He could see the red mark forming where her delicate hand struck. Perhaps it was not so delicate if a mark was showing. When she turned to Loki, he just pouted at her. It was obvious he wasn’t sincere.

     She almost lifted her hand, the foolish girl, but the trickster supposed she did realize who he was and quickly stopped herself.  A series of her own emotions went through her face. Anger, sadness, and even hatred. Though Loki was sure that hatred was strangely more aimed at him than Fandral. What did he do? He just got there! He watched her run away from them both, bawling into her hands.

     Loki turned his mock pout to Fandral. A pity his wooing wasn’t successful. Then again, it really wasn’t Loki’s fault in the slightest. He didn’t tell the warrior to push her and treat her in such an ungentlemanly fashion. Fandral didn’t even look hurt by it. Wasn’t he out there looking for the one? Loki remembered Fandral telling him many times that his dream was to find the maiden that would make him want to settle down. Behind all his promiscuity, laid a man desperate to find a soul mate. It was adorable once.

     Loki had to admit there was a time that he really cared about Fandral. There was a time that he had wished him good luck on finding the maiden of his dreams. There was a time when they were friends and looked out for one another. There was also a time he might have been jealous of Fandral’s dream maiden.

      He had been young then and still trying to figure himself out. Puberty had been an awkward experience and Fandral had always been sweet to him. It didn’t matter. In the end, he wised up and had realized the warrior preferred the fairer sex. Loki had gotten over his boyish fancy centuries ago and, in the end, the two became enemies anyway. Fandral never really cared for him. In the end, he betrayed him just like the others. They were only ever Thor’s friends. Fandral was just better at pretending he had cared.

     “Speak to no one about my return. I am not lingering here for more than what is needed.” Loki informed him and was surprised to see the warrior nod.

     “Where will you be journeying to, my prince?” The warrior asked as if Loki would want to tell him anything. Was he going to inform the other two of the warrior three or Lady Sif? Or was he going to race to his father and tell him of his arrival? As if knowing what Loki was thinking, Fandral added, “I will tell no one. I swear it.”

     Did it even matter? He’d be gone before Fandral even left. Also, he was sure Heimdall had already seen him and was on his way to the king. He had to act fast and leave before he was caught

      “Midgard.” Loki said quickly. He saw no reason to lie at this point. Odin knew Loki was on Midgard. It was why Thor was sent there; to bring Loki back. If the warrior told anyone it would just seem like old news.

     Loki closed his eyes and tried to picture his destination. He knew where there were cracks between realms. He knew of ways to journey to Midgard without the Bifrost. He, also, didn’t have to journey to that particular break in the realm on foot. He merely had to focus and teleport himself to that destination.

     So, once he could picture it, Loki transported himself to the cave that would lead him back to Midgard. Amora was a fool. Did she truly not believe Loki would find his way back? All she did was inconvenience him. Now if she had teleported him into the throne room, that would have been different. He would have been caught immediately and Loki would have had no way of getting away. After all, the All Father wouldn’t allow it. He would have been doomed.

     Strangely, he hadn’t been apprehended the moment he reached Asgard. Even though he was transported to Fandral, Heimdall had to have known he was coming. Why weren’t their soldiers marching to where the couple had been? Why didn’t Fandral draw out his sword and try to contain Loki himself? Why were they just letting him leave? Loki didn’t have the answers and it didn’t matter. He would be back in Midgard soon enough.

     But it did bother him. Fandral had stared at him so strangely and made no effort to fight him. He also didn’t care that he lost his chance with such a beautiful maiden. Perhaps, they had already been courting for a while and he saw that she was yet another waste of his time. That would mean Loki didn’t interrupt a loving embrace but an impending breakup. But why reject her in such a cruel way by pushing her and claiming she meant nothing. It all troubled Loki. Nothing was making sense.

     The travel time varied when one used the alternative means to other realms. The longest took a day. Loki thought back to that time. When he had returned to the palace, his mother was worried and embraced him immediately. She scolded him and even Thor agreed with her. He had been rather cross himself though Loki hadn't understood why. Surely, his friends had kept him entertained.

     They had been especially unhappy, when he wouldn’t give them a straight answer on where he had been. Heimdall didn’t even know and it had worried all of them. Well, except one person. His not father had said nothing. Odin had told Loki’s mother multiple times that it was fine. Loki hadn’t died, and he had returned. The All father hadn’t even looked like he worried at all. Loki shook his head. His not father probably didn’t care either way.

      This time, through this rift, it took a few hours. However, he was sure the Avengers were all waiting for him patiently. Perhaps not Thor. He was probably tearing the entire tower apart looking for him. Speaking of which, when he finally reached the tower and entered the common room, Thor was sitting on the couch looking worried. Around him was all the other Avengers with equal expressions (except for Clint, who was still resting in the medical bay). Were they having a meeting? Were they discussing him?

     “Your beloved Loki has returned.” Loki announced with his arms held out.

     Thor stood up quickly and Loki brought his hands back in surrender. He didn’t need to deal with his brother’s ire now. Instead of being furious, his brother looked at him in relief with a hint of disbelief in his eyes. He grabbed Loki’s shoulders and looked straight into his face. Loki felt his cheeks flush. Why was he looking at him so intensely?

     “Brother, are you really you?”

     “Who would I be?” Loki pushed him away trying to sound annoyed. He looked around at everyone else in the room. They were all on edge. Why? Was it because he was missing for the entirety of the day? Surely, they couldn’t think he would betray them now after all they have been through? Then again, he was with Thor for over a thousand years and he supposed it didn’t stop him before. But this was different. They all loved him. Didn’t they? The potion shouldn’t be wearing off now! He still had eight more days and yet all of them were looking at him like he was the enemy. What happened while he was gone? His confusion did not go unnoticed, as his brother came back to his side and spoke.

     “Amora came in the guise of you. I know not her intention but if it wasn’t for Stark, we would have been victims of her next attack.”

     Loki was confused. What would possess the Enchantress to come disguised as him? She really couldn’t believe her potion hadn’t worked? Did she think Thor was affected but was just pretending he wasn’t? There was no way! Thor had never been as skilled of a liar as Loki. Besides, there was no way his oaf of a brother could deceive him. Thor was the type of man who wore his emotions on his sleeve. His looks of affection were not altered in any way. Same brother as he always had been. Why couldn’t Amora accept that?

     She was just making herself look bad. Did she come into the tower in hopes of seducing his brother looking like him? Apparently, she didn’t even reach her destination because Thor had no idea why she was there. Of course, he didn’t. The woman has only attempted to seduce him multiple times, has announced her desires for the crown and has even attempted to capture him to force him into marrying her. Those actions were apparently too subtle for Thor to understand. Then again, since he only thought of Loki as a brother, he probably was confused by the fact she chose to look like him. Thankfully, Tony stopped her. A mortal stopped the Enchantress.

     “Anthony?” Loki looked over at the billionaire in surprise. It didn’t make sense. What did he have to go against someone of Amora’s caliber? Did one of his machines tip them off? Perhaps Amora gave off a heat signature and Tony, being the genius he was, realized that Loki didn’t give off one. Based on that he could only deduce that Amora was a phony. Seemed plausible but was probably unlikely as Tony was not looking proud. He was looking very guilty.

     “He made her reveal her true form.” Thor informed him. Made her reveal her form? Tony wasn’t skilled with magic so there was no way he could have used a spell. He had to have forced her to change back but how?

     “Do I want to know how?” Loki cautioned.

     “I thought she was you.” Tony mumbled, shame radiating from him. Loki’s eyes widened. Amora must have had a taste of what they shared in the lab the other day. That was the only explanation Loki could come up with. Tony Stark defeated the Enchantress by coming on too strong and possibly touching her inappropriately. Loki shook his head. Not possibly. Definitely.

     “She was pissed off when she left. That’s all I know.” Romanov spoke up and Loki knew she knew. They both knew what Tony was capable of and it wasn’t hard to imagine what he had done. They looked in to each other’s eyes with a sort of understanding. The rest of the Avengers, however, remained oblivious.

     “Right.” Loki broke eye contact first to address his small audience. “Well, if you must know where I have been. Amora sent me back to Asgard. Seeing as the All Father would probably have me executed if I remained there, I did my best to return quickly.”

     Thor rolled his eyes at the explanation. He probably thought the King of Asgard would never try and have Loki executed for his crimes. So, optimistic. The others in the room did not share his brother’s optimism. They knew the type of punishment Loki’s crimes warranted. All of them shared looks of concern. Even Romanov had a brief flash of concern pass through her eyes.

     “Are you alright?” Tony spoke softly. Still probably wallowing in his own guilt for groping the wrong person.

     “Yes, Anthony. I’m fine.” Loki stepped over to the billionaire and placed a hand on his cheek. Tony smiled a little at the touch. “Thank you for defeating Amora… In your own way.”

     There was a sharp jab to his side. Looking over, he realized Thor had poked him harshly. Loki brought his arm back to his side and looked at him quizzically. Why was he poking him? Was he still unsure of who he was? Perhaps he need some reassurance.

     “I’m me, Brother.” Loki told him, but he supposed an imposter would say the same. Thor stared into his eyes with an unreadable expression.

     “We can never be so sure.” The corner of his mouth quirked up a bit. Quickly, he reached out and grasped Loki’s shoulders. “Quick! Stark, do what you did to Amora to make her scream and turn back.”

     Loki was absolutely horrified. Of course, his brother had no idea what he was suggesting. He couldn’t have. Unless he really did want to punish Loki for some reason. However, when the trickster looked into his brother’s face he saw no malice. He only saw determination and something else hidden behind it. It wasn’t suspicion so why was he wanting to make sure he was him?

     “You are giving me permission?” Tony’s eyes lit up like a child entering a candy store. Loki tried to wiggle out of Thor’s grasp, but he was holding so tightly. Licking his lips, Tony stood up. He looked way too eager. Loki looked at Romanov with a pleading gaze. The agent’s eyes widened, and she nodded a little.

     “It is the only way.” Thor told him with a strange smile. No, it certainly wasn’t the only way. Loki noticed Romanov move over to Thor and kick him right in the shin.

     It didn’t hurt the god. No average mortal could strike Thor and hurt him, but it did distract him enough so that Loki could wiggle free. Thor went to grab him again and Loki leapt back in a way that surprised even himself. They were all looking at him in surprise like they couldn’t understand why he reacted in such a way.

     “No, it is not!” He shouted and then pointed a trembling finger at Tony. “No, you will not! I am tired! I am going to bed!”

     With that Loki left for the elevator quickly.

     Too quickly to notice the amused and satisfied smirk on his brother’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be the only one not in Loki's POV. It's in Odin's. And Odin is very concerned. XD


	18. Now You're Here and You Don't Know Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandral asks Odin to grant him one thing and Odin questions his parenting skills.

     Odin had lived many years. He had seen the fall of many kingdoms and the rise of others. He had worked hard to unite the realms and during so, had seen many horrific things. Some horrific actions he was ashamed to admit that he may have committed. He had seen pain and suffering but, also, hope and happiness. He felt like he had seen it all until today.

      Today was a peculiar day. It wasn’t because the weather was different. In fact, the weather was perfect. There was not a cloud in the sky and the sun was not too harsh. An ideal day for children to play outside and enjoy themselves. When they were children, Loki and Thor would run around in the gardens on days like this. They would battle each other with wooden swords or boast about defeating evil together.

      Thor always won when they were little, and Loki would cry so loudly every time. His cute little face would always be scrunched up so terribly and would grow redder by the second. He would hiccup and struggle to breathe. Sometimes Odin had feared he would lose his breath completely and pass out. Frigga would rush to his side and smother their youngest. All while Odin had always been left on the sidelines trying to figure out why his wife always monopolized him. In the end, Thor would begin to cry as well thinking he had done something wrong, and Odin would have to do his best to calm him down.

     He had never been good with children though. Not like his wife. His version of calming Thor down had been to tell him calmly to simply stop crying. When Thor wouldn’t, Odin would give him a speech about how a king should behave. That was how he dealt with both his children. Never had he held them close and pet their hair like Frigga. He would sometimes tell them tales of the days of old and try to teach them a lesson within them. Or he would tell them a saying his own father would tell him. He had thought it would inspire Thor and Loki. Perhaps make them see things differently and not cry over their failures. Maybe Frigga’s coddling would have been better at those times.

     Loki loved her more. He accused Odin of having favorites, but he loved Frigga more than his father. Odin knew it was petty to feel jealous of his own wife, but she always took up his time. She knew how to deal with him better. She was able to make Loki feel better instantly where Odin seemed to make matters worse. She taught Loki magic to soothe him when he had kept losing to Thor. It resulted in Thor running to him complaining that Loki pretended to be a snake. He had been tricked by his brother and stabbed by Loki’s wooden sword. To this day, his son still speaks of it as if Loki intended to kill him.

      When his oldest son recounted the tale, he never mentioned what weapon Loki had. He always just said Loki stabbed him and that they were merely eight. Everyone would look at Loki like he was insane, but Odin didn’t understand why they thought that. Wasn’t it obvious it was most likely a wooden sword? What eight-year-old would carry a real sword? Why did Thor always tell that story as if Loki was trying to kill him? Why were his children so dramatic?

     His musing had been interrupted by one of his oldest son’s friends. He was seeking an audience with him alone. Odin motioned for the servants to leave so that he and Fandral could speak privately. This was the beginning of the most peculiar day in his entire life. The blonde man smiled and bowed down on one knee. He kept one fist on his chest and his eyes on the ground until Odin spoke.

     “Fandral the Dashing.” It was odd seeing him alone in front of him. Usually, when any of Thor’s friends wanted an audience with him, they came together. “What brings you here?”

     “I have come with a request, My king.”

     Requests were not uncommon but usually they were made by foreign dignitaries or those of higher rank. He supposed Fandral was an accomplished warrior and a dear friend of his sons, so he may have earned the right to make such a request. That is, if it was within reason.

     “Speak.”

     “I humbly request the hand of your youngest son.”

     It was like he was centuries younger and he was speaking to his youngest again. Loki in his youth, before he became skilled with his lies, use to delight in telling Odin ridiculous things. Things that were hardly believable. Odin would pretend to believe him, and Loki would instantly crack and laugh about it. He would smile so widely when he thought his father had believed him. It had been enough to play the fool just to get him to smile like that. But Loki no longer smiled. Not in the genuine way he had as a child. Somewhere between Odin focusing on the kingdom and preparing his oldest for the throne, Loki had lost his smile and no amount of feigning ignorance to his tricks brought it back.

     “Forgive me. I misheard.” Odin spoke once he noticed he had been silent for far too long. “I almost thought you asked me for Prince Loki’s hand in marriage.”

     “Aye. That I did, your majesty.”

     Odin stared at the man for a while. This was Fandral the Dashing. He was not so out of touch with the common people that he had not heard of the man’s reputation. Maids try their best to whisper secretly in the halls but with Huginn and Muninn listening hardly anything is a secret to him. He is known for his great love of young maidens. Nowhere had he heard Fandral wooing a man. Besides, did he not understand what he was asking of the king. Asking for his youngest!

     “You are a man.”

     “Aye.”

     “Loki is a man.”

     “He is also a skilled shapeshifter, All father.” Fandral looked up and had the gall to smile at him. This man. This lover of women, who he had heard had a list of conquests longer than the great serpent, wanted to wed his child. Odin was surprised at the boldness the man had to even look up at him let alone smile at him. And he even continued as if he wasn’t being preposterous.  “If it is children you worry for, I am sure the prince’s magic will make it so.”

     Children? Odin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Fandral didn’t even look bothered by what he was suggesting. In fact, he looked rather determined. It wasn’t too long ago that he and Thor’s friends spoke about Loki’s betrayal. It wasn’t too long ago that all of them had decided Loki was no longer their friend. In fact, from what he had heard they wanted nothing to do with Loki. In fact, all the people of Asgard were upset by Loki’s behavior.

     “Are you mad?” Odin queried.

     “Aye. Madly in love.”

     What had Loki done to seduce this young man? Did he shapeshift into such a beautiful woman that the warrior decided to not care if it was an illusion? Did he use some sort of magic to bewitch the man? This wasn’t making any sense.

     Odin knew his youngest was comely. He knew his youngest held himself with the grace and beauty of his mother. Frigga taught him well after all. His mother taught him all sorts of manners that many Asgardian warriors looked down at. However, Odin had figured Loki didn’t mind. After all, he never seemed to stop being interested in magic or reading books quietly, when other boys his age were sparring and hunting. So, Odin had never stopped him regardless of the whispers in the hall. Not knowing how those whispers had been affecting his youngest. Odin had figured that Thor was proving himself a true warrior of Asgard. Loki needn’t worry himself with such things since Thor was all Asgard needed. Loki could be free to be himself unrestrained by the responsibilities of a crown prince.

     Perhaps that was the problem. Perhaps he had allowed Loki too much freedom in his youth and now it was coming back to bite him. Asgard may not approve of the things Loki enjoyed but Loki was never meant to rule Asgard. Odin had considered that Jotunheim wouldn’t judge their rightful heir so much when the time came. Obviously, they would be unhappy he was raised Asgardian but when they saw how different he was to other Asgardians, Odin had figured they would have felt better about the arrangement. So, Odin never had anyone discourage Loki from doing what he enjoyed.

     He, also, never once felt the need to rein him in. Loki always had excelled in his studies. He had been too clever, too mature and (Odin had thought) too strong to need his council often. Loki would have been a great king if circumstances had been different. Back then, Odin had figured Loki didn’t need constant attention because he already had a good head on his shoulders. Who he had to rein in was Thor. So, he gave Loki freedom but what Odin saw as giving freedom, he knew his youngest saw as neglect.

      Thor had been raised differently. Odin discouraged his oldest son from doing anything Asgard’s people would not admire in a king. He tried encouraging all the qualities a good king should have but sometimes Thor had a problem mastering them. Like diplomacy. It was always Loki’s strong suite not Thor’s. When Thor had expressed an interest in magic, Odin made sure that his trainers discouraged him. It wasn’t that magic wasn’t useful. It was just that the people of Asgard wouldn’t view Thor as a great warrior if he had mastered it like Loki. Not that he ever would. Odin had overheard Thor had tried, despite being discouraged and simply didn’t do well. He had power but not the patience to really master magic.

     Thor was praised whenever he fought bravely in battle or on a hunt. He had been encouraged to spar with his friends. Odin made sure to surround Thor with warriors and his son had picked his friends from those around him. It made Thor into the great warrior he was now. Loki, however, was never discouraged from doing anything really. Even his tricks on servants, guards, and Thor’s companions were met with laughs. He was allowed to cause chaos around the palace without so much as a strong word against him. If he didn’t hurt anyone, what did it matter? Thor did not have that luxury.

     Where did he go wrong? Odin could look back and see many different instances, but he couldn’t go back into the past and fix them. He never understood Loki’s mind as much as he assumed he had. Perhaps he was too lenient on some things and too harsh on others. Now, Loki hated him. Thor had become better since his banishment, but he fell in love with a mortal and didn’t even want to be king anymore. To make matters worse, there was now a man asking for his youngest son’s hand in marriage! How could all of this have happened?

      “What is going on, my dear?” His wife entered the throne room looking very worried. Perhaps if he had entered and saw her glaring down at one of his sons’ friends, he would feel the same way. How long had he sat here lost in his own thoughts? It must have been a while seeing how very uncomfortable Fandral was appearing.

      “He is requesting our youngest son’s hand in marriage.” Odin explained to her and her eyes widened immediately.

      “Does Loki feel the same way?” Frigga turned to look at the warrior with an unreadable expression in her eyes. Odin had been married to her for almost two millennia and he still couldn’t read her at times.

      “Regrettably, I do not know.” Fandral answered with a small frown. Frigga smiled softly in the gentle manner that even all these years, still struck Odin with awe. Then she spoke again saying something that snapped him out of such a wonderful feeling.

      “Then I give you permission to court him properly.”

     “What?” Odin blurted out. He knew he was getting old, but he swore his ears were working correctly. There was no way his wife had just given this womanizer permission to court their youngest.

     “He is my son as well and if he falls for Fandral, we should support him.” She told him as if she wasn’t proposing something outlandish.

     “But this is madness!”

     “I think a new love will do our son good.”

     Odin sat there in his throne in silence. Never had he thought the day would come that a man would wish to court his son. Never had he feared the idea that the small whispers about his youngest would grow. He allowed Loki so much, but this was crossing a line he never knew existed till today. Odin had always assumed before that Loki could withstand the ridicule. It was only after he fell from the bridge, that Odin realized Loki was a sensitive boy. He held so much pain behind an unreadable mask. He couldn’t allow this to continue. This man wasn’t even faithful. He floated around and courted many different women. If this wasn’t some trick, Odin feared the worst. Fandral could only be toying with Loki!

     “I thank thee, all mother.” The warrior spoke and rose up as if Odin had allowed him to. “I promise to only bring happiness to my beloved.”

     “Pray that it is so.” Frigga nodded to him and he left without another word. He didn’t even bow again to his king! 

     Was monopolizing their youngest not enough for his wife? Did she have to take over his power over his people as well? Odin wanted to shout at her, but he remembered what happened last time he did. It was just after he banished Thor to Midgard and he told her she wasn’t king. She had said nothing. She was silent like she always was when he raised his voice. She always seemed to be intimidated by him when he asserted himself and then, when he least expected it, she went for the kill. She used her magic to stop him from entering their bedchambers. Him. The king. He had to sleep in another room in shame.

     He didn’t want to go through that again.

     “Did you forget, dear wife.” Odin made sure to sound as calm as he could. “That I am king?”

     “Does a king rule over the feelings of the heart or the land of the people?”

     It didn’t matter if a king ruled over land or hearts. He was king! He was Loki’s father and had the authority to turn some philanderer away from his child. Odin had to. It was for Loki’s own good. People already ridiculed him for his feminine interests and reliance on magic. If he allowed this type of relationship to occur, the people would only increase their ridicule. He wouldn’t even be able to show his face anywhere without them mocking him.

     It's not like his reputation hadn’t already suffered. There wasn’t a person in Asgard that trusted the young prince and Odin hated to admit that he was among them. Odin didn’t understand the extent of his youngest’s pain, but he couldn’t see how it warranted so much death and destruction. Perhaps that was just because of him. Odin hated to admit blame for his own failures, a terrible habit he knew, but considering how his true first born turned out, perhaps this really was his fault. Maybe he sent too many mixed messages to his children. He wanted them to be ready for war but not start one. He wanted them to be cautious of Frost Giants but not commit genocide. He said they were both born to be kings but he had thought Loki would sit on the throne of Jotunheim not attempt to take over Midgard! He thought he had been clear but, given all that has happened, he apparently hadn't been.

     Loki’s crimes warranted punishment and Odin would have to see that it is done. If only his youngest would cease his causing of mayhem and apologize for his transgressions. Maybe then the people of Asgard will allow leniency but as it was, Loki did not show any remorse.

     Perhaps a marriage would make him look more docile in the eyes of Asgard. If he was tied down to their realm, maybe people could believe he had changed and would not go against Asgard. In reality, he didn’t really go against Asgard now that Odin thought about it. Technically, he was trying to destroy Jotunheim which, though he hated to admit, some Asgardians would support. Regardless, he still had to be punished but maybe the addition of a spouse would ease some fears of his capricious nature. But it couldn't be Fandral.

     “Fandral remains a man. Asgard will have a tough time accepting such a union.” Odin told his wife. “Loki should find a worthy wife.”

     “Husband, do not concern yourself on minute details.”

     “This is not a minute detail.” Odin was shocked that she didn’t think this was a problem. Perhaps it was because she was not originally from Asgard. She doesn’t view situations like this so harshly. Frigga smiled at him amused. Was he amusing? At least, someone was enjoying this.

     “There is something I must tell you.” She told him becoming serious once more. “It is about our son.”

     That was how Odin found himself listening to Heimdall explain everything he has seen on Midgard. Apparently, Loki was quite popular. There were many men vying for his affections and it left Odin completely baffled. Why were these warriors in love with his son? How did this happen?

     Heimdall never told Odin why. Instead, he focused on explaining each suitor. He hesitated when he spoke of Tony Stark and seemed to be leaving out something. Odin wasn’t sure what it was, but it seemed to make Heimdall uncomfortable. The man had seen everything. What would make him uncomfortable? The watchman changed subjects and quickly explained another suitor. He spoke very highly of one called Steve Rogers. However, when he was explaining in detail the way Loki and Steve interacted with each other, Odin swore he saw his own wife kick his watchman. What warranted such strange behavior?

     “I fear I have grown too old for such things to occur.” Odin moaned and placed a hand on his forehead.

     “Isn’t it wonderful that the Midgardians have chosen forgiveness?” Frigga asked with a happy smile.

     “I do not believe that is forgiveness, my dear.” The king shook his head thinking about everything he was told. “They have been bewitched.”

     “Aye. By our son’s charm.” Frigga giggled. What was so amusing? Why were there only men interested in his son? Loki was a handsome boy. Surely, there were some women who wanted him! Odin turned to look at both his wife and watchman. His wife smiled with a very strange smile and Heimdall stood rather stiffly. Something was not right.

     “There is more to this than either of you are telling me.”

     “Dear husband. My king.” Frigga hurried to his side and grabbed his arm. It was suspiciously like she was trying to distract him from his wariness. “What more is there to say? Our son has many suitors. Surely, you can choose a worthy one out of the bunch.”

     “But they are men!” Why couldn’t his wife see the problem? Did she want Loki to have no hope in gaining the people of Asgard’s favor?

     “Husband. Remember when you took Loki from the frozen land of Jotunheim?” Frigga questioned holding on to his arm tightly.  “You wished for him to bridge the gap between our people.”

     “I’m afraid that I am not understanding what that has to do with this situation.”

     “Well, if Loki was to marry an Asgardian, wouldn’t that help bridge the gap?” She was looking at him with that look again. It was the look she always had when she wanted something. Her eyes would get wide and she would stare right into his. “Of course, we will need to coax Jotunheim in accepting Loki as one of their own but think of the possibilities.”

     “So, you are giving Fandral your blessing?” Odin heard Heimdall huff a little. That wasn’t right. Why would his watchman, who was normally so stoic, make a noise like that? “I suppose he is an accomplished warrior but he isn’t-” Odin shook his head and pulled his arm from his wife’s surprisingly powerful grip. “He isn’t good enough. If anyone is, I believe the mortal Tony Stark would be fine. He is a powerful Midgardian and thankfully they die off easily. I won’t have to deal with the strangeness of it for long.”

     “How cruel of you to hope our son’s heart is broken.” Frigga looked at him as if he had transformed into a horrendous monster right before her eyes. Her wide eyes were now becoming misty and her bottom lip was trembling. _Do not fall for her tricks._ Odin told himself. _She is trying to manipulate you._

     “Do not twist my words. I do not wish for Loki’s pain.” Odin turned from her unwilling to see such an unhappy expression on her beautiful face. “I wish for him to find an acceptable wife.”

     “What if Loki doesn’t fancy women?” Frigga urged and Odin found himself wondering about it. If he didn't fancy women at all, Odin couldn't just force him to marry one. His son would surely hate him more if he did so. “You are king. The people of Asgard will follow your will. If you approve of his marriage, the people will too.”

     She had a point. If he was to speak to the people, they would have no choice but to accept it. However, he was their king and a king, as his wife reminded him, does not govern over hearts. He could not change their thoughts or attitudes towards his youngest. Would his son have to face ridicule and shame for merely loving someone? It wasn’t something any parent wanted. Yet, his wife did not seem worried by what others would say.

      “You know no mortal is good enough for our son.” She whispered into his ear and he knew what she was doing. She was trying to manipulate him. She was trying to get him to approve Fandral’s request. It was starting to work because none of his arguments held any weight to his wife. She easily countered every single one of them. This couldn’t be happening. Nothing made sense.

     Odin swore he was starting to feel faint or maybe he was just as dramatic as his children. Either way, it didn’t matter.

     If he would have fallen into Odin sleep right then, it would have been very convenient.

     In fact, he would have welcomed it.


	19. There's Always Something More You Wish He'd Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is out of the medical bay wooo! Oh and Fandral's here to woo Loki. Jealousy abounds.

     After everything that had happened, Thor was allowing Loki more freedom. Loki supposed it was because of the fight against Doom. After all, Loki did help by giving them motivation. He, also, saved Thor from being blown up the first time. Of course, his brother was involved in an explosion afterwards but that was on him. Also, Loki helped Clint. It didn’t matter that Clint being injured had been Loki’s fault in the first place. After all, Thor didn’t believe it was his fault.

     Loki had felt great that morning. Thor had told him to behave but said he was no longer being contained or watched closely. Loki took the first moments of his freedom to visit Clint, who was excited about being discharged from the medical bay. He was still healing but he didn’t need to be monitored all the time.

      Romanov had been there helping Clint out of bed despite his protests. Bruce had explained to them both that Clint had to take it easy and had reminded Clint that using his bow, even to practice, was not recommended. If he did, he may tear open his stitches. That was probably the one instruction Clint had hated hearing the most. Loki was sure he wouldn’t listen. Clint loved his bow and would probably be back in the medical bay because of it. 

     Clint was warmly received when he entered the common area. Steve had made him some coffee and had a mug ready for Loki, who took it slowly from his hands in a flirty manner. Clint didn’t even notice as Bruce and Natasha were busy talking to him. Loki used that to his advantage as he got closer to Steve and brushed his side against him. The man blushed beautifully, but his fun was ruined by Tony, who had suddenly made his presence known. Probably because he was feeling a little jealous. Tony squeezed himself between them on the couch and Loki found himself having to get up and find a different seat. While he moved away, he noticed the two on the couch glaring at each other.

     It didn’t matter if his flirting had been interrupted over petty jealousy. He actually enjoyed seeing Tony so bothered by his affection towards Steve. He loved the idea that all his admirers were in one room. He had never felt so important than he did when he was in their presence. All of them vying for his attentions. It made him feel amazing.

      Romanov rolled her eyes at him when he sat himself on the love seat confidently with his knees far apart. Loki didn’t know why she was judging him for his choice in sitting positions. No one else was on the love seat and he wasn’t taking space from anyone else. Also, he could see all his admirers from where he sat.

     This was the way he had sat on the throne when he was King of Asgard. It was how one sat when they knew they were in charge. It was how he was comfortable. It, also, seemed to be a position all the men enjoyed. Loki was shocked to find even the mild-mannered Bruce Banner staring quite intently at his crotch.  Steve was trying to distract himself with his newspaper, but he kept looking, Loki could feel it. The trickster found himself straightening up and crossing one leg over the other.

      “Sir, we have a guest.” Tony’s disembodied butler spoke as Thor entered the room. Loki looked at Thor for a moment thinking Jarvis was referring to him. That would be preposterous. Jarvis knew who Thor was.

     “At the door?” Tony asked. “Who is it?”

     “No, sir. On the balcony. Also, I regret to inform you that I do not know who the man is.”

     “The balcony?” Everyone stood up slowly and moved down the hall to the more open area of the common floor. It was an area dedicated for socializing and recreation. Loki followed them all towards the large windows overlooking a balcony. There he saw Fandral the Dashing looking in from the outside and waving rather excitedly at all of them.

     Thor smiled back and pushed past everyone. Loki was confused. Why would he of all people come to Midgard? Did he miss Thor that much? Or was he here to help capture Loki and bring him to Asgard? If both Thor and Fandral worked together, they may have a chance. That is if his admirers didn’t fight back.

     “Fandral, friend. What reason do we have for your arrival?” Thor allowed him inside. Tony walked behind Thor looking a little wary. Of course, he would be. He didn’t know Fandral at all and had no idea if he would be causing any trouble on their planet. Loki supposed Tony shouldn’t worry. The one that should worry is Romanov. She would most likely become Fandral’s next target.

     “I had asked the All father for permission to pursue the one I love.” Fandral explained and it did nothing to alleviate the confusion of him being here. What did Midgard have to do with him chasing a new maiden? Was it the woman he pushed roughly? Had he come to have Loki speak to her on his behalf? He shouldn’t have wasted his time because the trickster was not interested in doing so. The maiden had every right to smack him after his behavior. She would be a fool to go back to him.

     “My father?” Thor questioned. “Why must you ask for his permission?”

     “The All father believes I am but an unworthy man. However, it is said if I could gain my love’s favor, I may be able to ask for his hand. It is still a necessity that he is punished for his past crimes but, as my wife, he may be offered some leniency.” Fandral informed his prince and Loki couldn’t help but notice the pronouns he used when describing his love. He. Fandral was now pursuing men? Had he given up on women because his desperate search for the one has come up with nothing for the past centuries. Loki thought he had more tenacity than this. “You will support me, my friend, will you not? The All mother has already given me hers.”

     “Unworthy? HIS? My mother?” Thor stepped back from Fandral confused. Loki behind all the others was trying to take everything in. Fandral was in love with a man. He came to Midgard to find such a man and had to have the All Mother’s support? No, this had to be a trick. The potion didn’t work on Asgardians. “My friend, forgive me. I am confused by all this.”

     “My friend, I have never felt such a stirring in my heart as I do this day.” Fandral declared placing a hand on his chest. “For the fair and beautiful Prince Loki is all my soul desires. Without his love, I feel my heart would burn to ash with the fires of my undying love going unquenched.”

     “What the fuck is he supposed to be?” Tony growled, glaring at his new competition. Everyone else stood their ground looking like they were prepared for a confrontation.

      Loki stood in shock. Fandral was in love with him. Fandral the Dashing, who in his youth he pinned for, was in love with him. No, something wasn’t right. He couldn’t have come to this conclusion on his own so quickly. Loki thought back to when he appeared in front of Fandral the day before. He had pushed his maiden away and claimed her as unimportant. Of course, he did because he didn’t want the man he loved to get the wrong impression. It made sense why he didn’t try to capture him. It made sense why he stared at him so strangely. But Loki couldn’t understand. The potion hadn’t affected Thor.

     “Fandral this is not you.” Thor told him. “My friend, you have been bewitched.”

      “Heimdall explained as much to me but what shall I do? My thoughts are only of my dear prince.” Fandral looked up and closed his eyes. It was as if he was imagining something divine. Loki was glad he was hidden by the others. Fandral couldn’t see his blush. “It is not like I had not found him comely before. I was too troubled to act upon it. Too aware of his sex.”

      “His sex has not changed.” Thor pointed out.

     “But my heart has.”

     “As it is bewitched, my friend.”

     “I will die without him.”

     Loki couldn’t quiet his mind. Too many thoughts were rushing through it. Fandral was affected by the potion. Thor knew this. So, Thor was aware the potion could affect Asgardians or was that just him assuming from Fandral’s behavior? Did that mean that Thor himself was affected? If he was, why did he not show any sign of it? Was he trying to push down his feelings because they were brothers? Loki remembered that the potion did not take away love and only added it. So, Thor still loved him as a brother and yet was being forced to love him in a separate way. Not to mention he still had love for that Midgardian woman. There must be such a battle going through his brother’s head but why, if that was so, did Loki not see it?

     “That is not – Friend, it will wear off in just a week.” Thor told him making Loki regret admitting such a fact to him last night. “Please, do not do something you will regret.”

     “I will never regret following my heart.” Fandral responded confidently. “Bewitched or otherwise. It is who I am!”

     If Loki had heard this in his youth, he would have cried in joy. He recalled a time when his eyes would follow Fandral where ever he went. He would find himself blushing at the smallest attentions afforded to him. He would find himself grief stricken when Fandral found himself a maiden to court. He had to swallow his feelings and hide them from everyone lest he would be subject to ridicule. Fandral had been sweet to him. He was the only one of Thor’s friends willing to be by his side alone. Fandral would accompany Loki to town or share a drink with him without any coaxing or presence needed from Thor. In his youth, it had made Loki fall for his charm. As Fandral had spoken of his conquests, Loki, at the time, would imagine himself in the maiden’s shoes. But Fandral never knew.

      How could he know? In Asgard, such relations between men were looked down upon. Even the slightest hint of liking something remotely feminine made you seen as less of a man. Loki knew that better than anyone. The only thing that protected him from constant ridicule was that he was the son of the king. So, Asgard’s people had to be satisfied with their harsh whispers and disapproving glares. Loki bottled up his feelings for Fandral and after many nights of longing and despair, he was able to be free of it. But deep inside, Loki knew it wasn’t that simple.

     He found himself pushing past the others to get a good look at the man. His gaze had changed centuries ago and he no longer minded where Fandral went. How did the man he once adore look now that their roles were reversed? Unfortunately for Loki, he was as handsome as he always had been. His smile as charming as it has always been and his eyes with an excitement that Loki found very fetching. But his heart remained steady.

     “Fair Prince, I have journeyed far to find the glory of the morning sun and here I stand in all its majesty.” Fandral pushed passed Thor the moment his eyes fell upon the younger prince. He grabbed Loki’s hand delicately and bowed quite flamboyantly placing his forehead against Loki’s hand.

     “Seriously, can we just kick him out?” Tony grumbled. He looked around at the others and Steve just shrugged at him. But even the captain looked very unhappy and just as willing to toss Fandral back out as Tony. Loki was shocked by Fandral’s display. He used to pine for him agonizingly. Now here he was in front of him, showing his devotion without a care to anyone’s opinion. Loki always thought the warrior cared much of the opinions of others. He looked himself in the mirror more times than any maiden after all. The warrior had no way of knowing Midgard was any different and if such relations were accepted here. Loki never realized Fandral could possess such bravery to flaunt such feelings in front of everyone without fear of ridicule.

     His brother was braver than anyone he had ever met. He knew the All Father probably didn’t approve of Thor’s love to his Midgardian woman and neither would the rest of Asgard. Yet, Thor would never back down from loving her, this Loki knew. His brother was just that sort of man. Bravest in all of Asgard.

      Yet, he did not respond to the potion like the others. He was not trying to court him like Fandral and if anything, was behaving how Loki supposed anyone unaffected would, given the circumstances. Thor usually cared little of the opinions of others. So, why didn’t he show he was affected by the potion? He should be lavishing him with praise and affection without any fear! Yet, he did not. He refused! Fandral wasn’t braver than Thor. There was no way that he was.  So, why was Fandral here claiming Loki to be the glory of the morning sun when the man more suitable for such praise remained silent?

     “The sun? That seems to describe my brother more does it not?” Loki found himself saying his own thoughts.

     “Then you are the night sky, my beloved.” Fandral lifted his head to look Loki in the eyes without missing a beat. He straightened up but never once let go of Loki’s hand. “Mysterious, captivating and full of wonders.”

     “What can I do? It is already daylight.” Loki grinned impishly. He couldn’t help but tease. This man had caused him so many sleepless nights in his youth. He had made him a fool, eager to please him at a moment’s notice. Yet, Fandral never noticed his affections and nothing ever happened. It was petty, but Loki believed the warrior deserved a little teasing.

     “Then let the moon eclipse the painful sun, so that I may admire you always.” Fandral pulled Loki’s hand to his chest and allowed the prince to feel how fast his heart was going. Loki gulped. If this continued, Loki feared he would find himself becoming a fool all over again. This couldn’t happen. This was only the work of the potion.

     “I hate this guy.” Clint spoke behind him and Loki saw, from the corner of his eyes, Tony whip his head in his direction. The billionaire opened his arms out and nodded in a gesture that clearly meant he agreed.

     Fandral didn’t let go of his hand. Instead, he closed the space between Loki and him and stared deeply into his eyes. For a moment, Loki forgot how to breathe. He couldn’t do so anyway without taking in the sweet scent of the warrior.

      Fandral’s choice of scent was subtle today. Like Loki, Fandral took care of his appearance and bathed more regularly than other warriors. He, also, was quite found of certain scents he believed may help him gain a maiden’s favor. He wore cologne imported from Vanaheim, where Loki’s mother was from and where men do not smell like sweaty pigs. Some were rather strong, and Loki had told him often in jest that he had reeked. Other men would laugh at Fandral, as warriors do not preen as much as he, but only momentarily. Since he wore cologne in the hopes of wooing a maiden, other warriors seemed to let him be. At least, he wore scents made for a man. Loki tended to prefer softer scents with a more androgynous or feminine signature, which was exactly what Fandral was wearing.

      He had the scent of the spring flowers of Vanaheim. Once they travelled there with Thor and the rest of his friends. Loki had commented on how the field of flowers smelt so divine. It was just a passing comment. He never mentioned it again because Volstagg had laughed at him and teased him for it. Saying something akin to Loki loving the scent of flowers because he was more a lady than a man. Everyone laughed including his own brother, who smiled at them all and said nothing in his little brother’s defense. Loki had been used to it by that time. Thor never defended him when it came to his own friends.

     For some reason, Fandral remembered such a silly statement. No, it was just a coincidence. Why would Fandral remember something he said centuries ago? The potion didn’t make your memory better. Did it? Was better memory some strange side effect?

     “That’s enough.” Thor’s voice shook Loki out of his thoughts. There was a dangerous tone to his voice. _Oh, dear_. Thought Loki. _Is my brother angry again?_  Loki couldn’t help but be amused by it. It seemed like that was how he always was now that Loki had so many admirers. If Thor was affected, could this be jealousy?

     All this time pretending to worry about his shield brothers. Loki wondered if Thor ever did worry about them. If he was affected by the potion, then every angry outburst made sense when explained by jealousy. He was chasing away all his admirers because of his own feelings. Feelings he was too cowardly to admit to.

     He was probably too ashamed. Loki was a little amused when he thought of his brother losing sleep because of his secret feelings. How did he control himself when Loki slept right next to him? The prince didn’t fear sleeping next to his brother, though. It wasn’t like Thor was going to act upon his feelings. The man couldn’t even admit it, but Loki could change that. There may be ways to force Thor in to admitting his shame. Loki wanted to see his horrified expression when he is made to say it. The more witnesses the better.

     “Oh no, brother.” Loki smiled devilishly. “Let him continue.”

     “Then continue I shall.” Fandral wrapped an arm perfectly around Loki’s waist and brought him against his chest. They fit so well like Loki had always imagined. Yet, Loki’s heart remained steady though his breathing did not.

     “I said enough.” Thor grabbed Loki’s shoulders and pulled him away from Fandral. Tony immediately grabbed Loki’s arm and pulled him over to him. Thor turned to Fandral and was saying something to him, but it was too low for him to hear.

     “What were you doing?” Tony whispered into Loki’s ear harshly. “Why did you let him touch you like that?”

     “He’s a friend, Anthony.”

     “That’s a little too friendly. Besides he said he wanted to marry you.”

     “Tony let go of his arm.” Steve moved to Loki’s side. “It’s bothering Bruce.”

     “Is it now?” Loki gave the man a knowing look and saw him blush bright red.

     “To be honest it is.” Bruce chimed in. Clint nodded in agreement as if expressing that he too didn’t like the arm holding.

     “You don’t mind do you, Lo?” Tony brought Loki closer and smiled suggestively. Where was this going? Did he seriously think it wise to flirt with him in front of Bruce? There was a chance that Tony would become the second person in the room to get smashed by the Hulk.

     “Lo?”  Loki questioned.

     “Ki?” Tony’s smile changed to a more nervous expression. A strong hand grabbed his arm and pulled it from Tony.

      “Go to your room, Loki.” Thor told him.

     “You can’t just-”

     “GO TO YOUR ROOM!” Thor roared so loud Loki was sure it wasn’t his imagination that the room shook. Natasha and Clint both had their arms out and were looking at the roof for any instability. Tony had visibly shrunk, and Steve remained silent but wary. It was Bruce that looked the most affected. It was as if he had seen a ghost. Softly, Fandral approached the thunderer.

     “My friend, there is no need for such hostility.”

     “Silence unless you wish to incur my wrath.” Thor bit out and pushed Loki towards the hallway. The trickster snatched his arm back from Thor’s grasp and glared. He wasn’t going to argue. He wasn’t going to put up a fight. It would do him well not to make matters worse. His admirers could fight Thor and they probably would win, if they worked together, but there was no need for that.

     A fight was something that wouldn’t benefit anyone. Bruce would most likely lose control and his brother would be tossed all over this floor. If the entire floor ended up destroyed, where would he enjoy his coffee in the morning? Also, he was pretty sure the only kitchen for everyone was on this floor. It was true Tony had one in his apartment, but he doubted Thor could get his beloved pop tarts there. Tony only had real food after all. Loki doubted Natasha could hold her own against an enraged god. She had her strengths, but they would be nothing against his brother. Not to mention, Clint was still recovering, and a fight would open up his stitches.

     Despite how it may be amusing to watch them destroy each other, Loki decided it was best to hold his tongue and just walk to the elevators. They would probably still want to fight Thor even after he left but he was sure it would be better that he wasn’t present. He had a feeling him being there would only make it worse.  However, that didn’t mean he liked it. In fact, he was furious.

     He was furious that Thor would get in the way. Furious that his brother felt the need to order him around and furious that he wouldn’t admit the truth. He wasn’t going to stand for it any further. He was almost certain the potion must be affecting Thor.

     He just needed his brother to admit it.


	20. Mother Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki embarrasses himself, Steve's coffee is amazing and Frigga comes to visit.
> 
> So does Thor's jealousy.

     That night, Loki wanted to test his theory about Thor being affected. His brother was getting ready for bed simultaneously lecturing him on behaving. He was telling him that Fandral’s fancy wouldn’t last, and why it would be in Loki’s best interest to leave everyone be until the potion wore off. Of course, he wouldn’t want Loki fraternizing with his competition. That was if he was truly affected.

     Loki knew he had to be. If Fandral was affected, then there was no way Thor couldn’t be. He wasn’t particularly resistant to magic. In fact, Loki was sure Thor was easily controlled by Amora before. He was able to break out of the control out of sheer anger but that couldn’t have happened in this instance. Could it? Thor had been particularly angry a lot, but Loki figured he would have seen the effects of the potion at least once before it went away.

     Thor laid down on the bed in just his underwear. Loki was wearing the nice silk pajamas Tony had ordered for him. What should he do? What would cause Thor to react to him? Tentatively, Loki rolled closer to his brother, who eyed him suspiciously.

     “What do you want?” He asked roughly. That wasn’t the sound of devotion. That was the sound of annoyance.

     “I’m cold.” Loki lied.

     “You’re a frost giant. You don’t get cold.” Thor turned to his side with his back towards Loki. Probably the wrong choice of lie. What else could he say? What excuse could he give besides that he wanted to be held? He could say he was lonely but that would sound desperate. He could say he just wanted to be closer but that would sound like he was interested in his own brother. He wasn’t interested, right? Loki shook his head. Why was he doubting himself?

      Loki stared at his brother’s very toned back. There was not a scar upon it which was quite a feat considering how many battles his brother had been in. No one had been able to strike his brother in the back hard enough to go through his armor and scar it. Loki took a little pride in that. After all, he was the one who usually made sure that never happened. Objectively, Thor’s back was a thing of beauty. _Objectively_.

      Everyone thought Thor was handsome. Ask anyone in Asgard and they would do nothing but praise him. So, it wasn’t strange that Loki noticed it. It wasn’t strange that Loki could admire it. It wasn’t like he wanted to touch his brother’s nicely toned back. It wasn’t like he wanted to feel the heat under the palm of his hands and yet, he did just that. He didn’t know what possessed him, but he brushed his hand on Thor’s upper back and slowly brought it down his spine. His brother yelped and whipped around quickly.

     “What are you doing?” Thor sputtered, and Loki realized he had no idea what he was doing. Why did he touch his brother like that? What could he say? What lie would be believable?

     Loki found himself unable to formulate sentences. He was known as a silver tongue and he couldn’t even say one little lie to make this less awkward. His face grew very hot and he knew his heart was going a mile a minute. There was nothing he could say was there? What brother stroked his older brother’s back? Was he insane? So, Loki decided to turn around and scoot away from his brother, keeping his back to a very confused Thor. He pulled the blankets closer to him and screwed his eyes shut. If he went to sleep, he wouldn’t have to deal with this.

     Thor didn’t seem to want to push the subject because he said nothing. Loki felt the bed shift as Thor most likely turned back to his side. He should be glad for that fact but for some reason Loki couldn’t help but feel disappointed. What was he even trying to do? He knew he wanted to tease Thor but that wasn’t planned. Instead of making his brother have a challenging time sleeping, Loki had ensured he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep that night.

     Somehow, Loki couldn’t even remember when, he had fallen asleep. He woke up to his brother’s loud snoring and the lack of bed sheets. His brother had somehow cocooned himself in the sheets and was snoring loud enough that Tony and Pepper floors below probably heard him! Loki grabbed a pillow and was tempted to beat his brother repeatedly with it. How dare he sleep so happily!

     Loki felt like he hadn’t slept at all and yet, his brother was there snoring peacefully. This was the opposite of what he had wanted to happen. Why wasn’t his brother bothered more? Didn’t he have feelings for him? Wasn’t he troubled by them?

     He just needed some coffee. Loki slipped out of bed and got himself ready for the day. Was Steve awake this early in the morning or was it just him? Would he have to face the dreaded coffee maker on his own? All those buttons and he had no idea what they were for. Shouldn’t there just be a brew button? He was too busy thinking about coffee that he didn’t realize his brother had ceased snoring by the time he exited the room.

     He entered the elevator and was glad that it didn’t stop on any floors before he reached the common floor.  Walking towards the kitchen, Loki was shocked to hear familiar laughter. It was a woman engaging in pleasant conversations with someone. Was that who he thought it was? No, it couldn’t be. As he neared, he recognized Steve’s voice. He didn’t quite hear what was being said but when he reached the sitting area, he saw the captain smiling happily while talking to- Loki’s face paled.

     “Mother?” Loki would have smiled warmly when he saw her had it not been for the sheer shock he felt when he saw her. She was dressed in all the elegance and grace that an Asgardian Queen would wear. Loki could see that she did even attempt to blend in with the Midgardians. In fact, Loki was sure she even dressed up just to flaunt her status or maybe send a message to Midgardians. What message would that be? Loki wondered. Perhaps showing the mortals the difference between them and a goddess.

     If that was so, she wasn’t acting the part. She was too busy speaking happily with Steve. She was even sitting on the couch with him enjoying, what Loki could only assume, was the captain’s best coffee. How long had she been here? When did she arrive? Why was she speaking to Steve so casually?

     “My dear son. I am overjoyed to see you well. Come. Sit with us.” Frigga motioned for him to join her and Steve on the couch. Steve gave Loki a look like he was a child being caught sneaking into his father’s weapons vault.

     “Perhaps, you’ll like to speak alone, mam?” Steve looked between Frigga and Loki nervously.

     “Oh, Steven.” The queen smiled warmly at the mortal, but something was not quite right with her smile. It seemed more like an obligatory courtesy than an actual smile. But Steve didn’t notice at all. How could he? The difference was so subtle that only one, who had known her for as long as Loki, would notice. She placed down her coffee cup onto the coffee table in front of her and nodded a little. “Despite my enjoyment of our conversation, I do believe I need to speak to my son privately. I give you my thanks for noticing it before I even uttered a word. You are quite a perceptive young man.”

     Frigga’s compliment seemed to make Steve a little shy. He turned his face away from Loki to hide the small blush it elicited. Loki smiled a little. Being complimented by the mother of the one you adore probably felt amazing. He wouldn’t know, however. Loki was never a man mothers appreciated. Well, unless they were hoping for the king’s favor but even then, they preferred Thor over him. Loki was a last resort. The thought made him frown a little.

     His mother caught on to his expression and gazed at him in that sort of way Loki had come to know as her analyzing. His ability to read people came from her after all. What did she think he was thinking? Did she think he was disappointed that Steve was leaving or disappointed of her arrival? There was no way his mother would know his frown was merely because he thought of something unpleasant. Then again, his mother was perceptive in ways Loki could never understand.

     Somewhere between his thoughts, Loki noticed Steve nod to him and leave the room. He also noticed what he had left behind: his coffee cup. Quickly, Loki slid next to his mother and turned his attention to the cup. It was almost completely full. He must have only had a chance to sip it once or twice. A pity for him but not for Loki. Slowly, Loki took the cup and placed it to his lips.

     Nothing could describe the euphoria that Loki felt once that hot liquid hit his throat. It was all his body ever needed. Steve was so skilled at making this beverage. No wonder he was an Avenger. The team needed this liquid to bring them back to life. He wondered if it was possible that such a beverage could have healing qualities. He doubted it, but it wouldn’t surprise him if it did.

    His mother didn’t even disguise the disgust on her face as Loki enjoyed Steve’s coffee. He, also, noted a hint of disbelief in her eyes. Of course, she would be. Loki never drank after other people in the past. Why would he have? It was unsanitary. Especially in Asgard, since hygiene isn’t something warriors prided. However, things change. Especially when you are forced to fight for survival for a couple of years after falling into an abyss. You can’t be picky about what you drank or ate.

    Besides, he was sure Steve had nothing that would harm him. The man was far too innocent and healthy for anything to be the matter with him. Also, he already drank after him before when he first attempted flirting with him. If he had something, Loki already had it and even so, he would never pass up a chance to drink his delicious coffee.

    “That mortal, Steven, has already drank from that cup.” She told him hesitantly as if she expected Loki to spit out the contents all over himself.

    “It won’t kill me.” Loki responded, and Frigga frowned. Probably wondering what had happened to him during his absence. Loki made sure to avoid her eyes. He wished to avoid her seeing anything he would rather her not notice.

    After a moment of silence, his mother pushed a smile on her face again. She was worried, but she didn’t want Loki to be bothered by it. She probably understood that Loki didn’t want her to continue wondering about his past. They didn’t want to worry each other. Loki mouth quirked up at the thought of it. It was nice to see similarity between them despite the fact there was no blood shared. Loki wanted to desperately hold on to that link. That similarity that held them together. No matter how many times he denied his father, it was always harder to deny his mother. He yearned for a connection to her. Anything.

    He saw his mother look to her side towards the hall where the elevator laid for just a moment. Loki was tempted to follow her gaze but when she smiled confidently, he supposed they were alone. Worry had left her smile and it was replaced by something else. Something more determined and hopeful.

    “Have you received Fandral’s wishes to court you?” Frigga softly took one of Loki’s hands into hers. Loki set the mug aside and used his other hand to place it gently upon hers. He had missed her touch. He wanted to savor it.

    “I have.” He spoke softly as Frigga brought her other hand to pat his comfortingly. It was as if she knew how much Loki longed for her soothing touch. “You support this?”

    “I think he would be a good match for you, my son.” Her eyes became playful in a way that one would when they knew something someone else didn’t. Loki wondered if she had known something about how he once felt for Fandral. Of course, she had. She was his mother after all. She must have noticed him in his youth, pinning away for the man he knew he would never have. Yet, she was hopeful. Perhaps she didn’t know Fandral was under the potion’s influence. Perhaps she thought the blonde warrior understood Loki’s feelings at last and was now pursuing him genuinely.

     “If you let him into your heart, he would see that you are always happy.” She assured him

    “No. No he wouldn’t.” Loki was alarmed by the sound of Thor’s rough sounding voice. When did he get here? How hadn’t he noticed? Loki thought back to when his mother looked over at the elevator. Was it because Thor was exiting it? Why did she smile so confidently as if they were alone? Perhaps, she thought that Thor would aid her in convincing him. Unfortunately, the potion made sure that wasn’t going to happen.

    “Thor, my dear, this decision is one Loki must make, is it not?” Frigga turned her amused smile towards her eldest and Loki found himself confuse. Did she expect him to object?

     “Father finds him unworthy.”

    “Your father would find any man who wishes to court his son unworthy.” Frigga nodded and patted Loki’s hand a few more times as if to reassure him. “He was caught up on the implications of such a union. However, where I once hailed never had such worries. Vanaheim is much more accepting of all types of love.”

     “That is not all of my concern.” Thor continued ignoring Loki’s presence and speaking as if he was nothing but air. “Fandral is a mere warrior. Loki is a prince. He is too below his station.”

     “Ah, that is another outdated way of thinking.” Frigga laughed. So, she assumed Thor would think the same way as the All father? Perhaps he did. Perhaps without the potion, Thor found such a union to be disgusting. Loki’s heart suddenly felt heavy. Did Thor think such feelings for another man was wrong? But this was how Loki was. He couldn’t help who he tended to find attractive.

      It could just be jealousy talking but his mother seemed like she knew this argument would arise. She couldn’t have known that Thor was being affected by a love potion. Therefore, she must have known Thor had such outdated thoughts. Unless Heimdall had informed her about the potion itself. Loki stared at his mother hoping her face would give away the truth. He had to know. Did she know about the potion or did Thor truly find him disgusting?  

     “Love knows no station. Besides, your father already begun talks with Jotunheim.” His mother said proudly, and Loki was caught off guard.

     “Jotunheim?” Loki didn’t understand. Why of all places was his father talking to Jotunheim? Loki had once tried to destroy their entire world. He killed his own biological father, **their king**. There was no way the Jotuns would want to talk to Asgard about anything at this point.

     “To have them accept you as one of their own.” Frigga informed him now rubbing soft circles onto his hand as if that would calm his mind. The frost giants would be fools to accept him. He had brought them nothing but pain. Besides, Loki didn’t want to be a frost giant. He wanted to be of Asgard. He wanted to be her son, but he wasn’t, was he? She was tossing him away. Trying to get Jotunheim to accept him.

     Was she just here to make sure he married Fandral, so she wouldn’t have to worry when she casted him away? It hurt more than anything. No torture in the world could prepare him for the pain he felt at her words. Didn’t she love him? Could she love him? Was he just a beast to her all these years? His eyes stung as he looked into hers. She held no malice, no hatred or disgust. She was looking at him with hopeful and excited eyes. She was happy to be rid of him. 

     As if noticing his discomfort, Frigga stopped rubbing his hand and held it firmly bringing him closer to her. She then brought her hand up and cupped his face giving him a soft, warm smile. A smile filled with love. A smile only his mother ever gave him.

      “This is only so you can marry the man you love.” She told him, and Loki could hear Thor huff in the background. “We, of course, will be talking about a treaty and how your marriage could bridge our two realms.”

     “Loki is of Asgard not Jotunheim.” Thor growled, and Loki found himself agreeing with him. He didn’t care about bridging the two realms. He just wanted to be accepted in Asgard. No matter how much he fought to not return. No matter how much he cursed the people who lived there and how they treated him, Asgard would forever be his home. He loved Asgard and its people despite their treatment of him.

     “It pains me to acknowledge such, but Loki is the son of Laufey. He is the rightful heir of Jotunheim.” The queen informed them but pulled Loki towards her to have his head rest on her shoulder. Loki would have been greatly embarrassed by such a display, if he hadn’t missed her warm embrace for so long. All he could do was press into her and enjoy her warmth. His mother petted his hair as she continued to address his older brother. “If they accept him as such, Loki could take Fandral as his consort and rule as their king. If they don’t but wish that Loki not claim his birthright, Loki’s marriage could still bring about a treaty between us.”

     Loki didn’t want to rule Jotunheim. It was true he tried to rule Midgard but that was mainly to send a message. A message that he wasn’t just some stolen relic or tool. He was his own person and had every making of a king. When he ruled Asgard no one saw him fit, but he wanted to show them otherwise. Also, Midgardians once worshipped them as gods. Loki couldn’t deny the idea of being worshipped did make the plan more tempting.

     It didn’t come out of nowhere. Midgard was a target and he was being kind by allowing himself to be the one sent. If he hadn’t, Loki was sure more would have been killed than those who lost their lives during the Chitauri invasion. The trickster hadn’t actually cared about the mortals, but he had known he wasn’t willing to kill half their entire population like someone else would have been. He had even told the Other that he hadn’t wanted to kill too many because he had needed people to rule. But perhaps that had just been an excuse. After all, Midgard held billions of people. One city wasn’t really that important in the grand scheme of things. But Loki had been hesitant and afraid. He, also, had been afraid before being sent there. He shook his head. He didn’t want to think too much about why he had been sent to Midgard in the first place. There was a dark period prior to it that he wished not to think about. It wasn’t important now anyway. Not yet at least.

     His mother was still talking to his brother. Still explaining how a treaty would work even if Loki married a regular Asgardian. Loki tried to focus on their conversation and forget the fear that was creeping back into his heart. He wasn’t there anymore. He was here in the arms of his mother. He was safe.

     “Marrying a prince would make more sense in bringing a treaty.” Thor explained, and Loki was confused. How could he bridge the gap between Jotunheim and Asgard by marrying a random prince? Unless, Thor was offering. Did he want to marry his younger brother now that the potion was deep in his veins? “Loki won’t want to lose his birthright just to become a commoner.”

     He was trying to pin it on Loki! As if Loki would prefer to keep his birthright instead of marrying a mere warrior and losing it. The trickster would have been inclined to agree had Thor not mentioned it out of jealousy and was only trying to feign concern for what Loki would want. He was making it seem like he was only thinking of his little brother instead of just admitting he was interested in him. Of course, he had, also, inadvertently suggested himself to marry Loki. He was not sure if their mother took his comment the same way, but it was how Loki understood it.

     It didn’t matter. All this talk and they weren’t even asking him how he felt! Loki gently pushed away from his mother and straightened up. He put a hand on hers and glared at his brother.  

     “Do you not see me present, brother?” Loki told him annoyed. “Do I not have my own voice?”

     Thor regarded him but for a moment and it made Loki's blood boil. He didn't ask what Loki felt. He didn't ask what Loki's opinion was. Instead, he turned back to his mother and addressed her. Was no one going to address him? This was about him was it not? He supposed this was how it always was. No one on Asgard ever really listened to him. Why start now?

     “He is bewitched. After a week, he will not have such feelings.” Thor argued, and Loki heard his mother sigh. Loki didn’t have to look at her to know she probably was disappointed.

     “Do you believe your brother so unlovable that a man would not continue to love him even beyond the enchantment?” She asked trying to sound stern but there was a hint of amusement to her tone. Amusement? Loki turned to look at her and saw her eyes alight with delight. Of course, it was subtle. To the untrained eye, the queen looked very disappointed, but Loki knew she wasn’t. Was the sigh just a ruse?  What was her game. Loki could see all the cards on the table but without knowing what game they were playing, he had no idea how to proceed. His mother did, however. She spoke confidently to his brother with a knowing look. “I have watched both of you grow and by doing so, I have seen your friends grow as well. I have caught young Fandral paying close attention to the movements of my youngest. Perhaps this is a blessing. For now, he can finally be true to his heart.”

     There was a chance Fandral actually did fancy Loki? Was this true or was this yet another ruse? Loki shook his head. Even if his mother had a plan, she would never hurt him. Loki knew that to be true. If there was one person in Asgard he could trust to never harm him, it was his mother. No matter what, she would only do what she knew was best.

     He remembered Fandral admitting that he found Loki comely before. His mother must have noticed Fandral’s fancy. Perhaps, because they were both men, Fandral feared loving him. Perhaps, if Loki showed him how well they would be together, Fandral would continue to adore him beyond the potion. Loki remembered those nights when he laid in bed imagining the young warrior beside him. He remembered the excitement he felt when Fandral would lay a hand on his shoulder or lean on him. They were merely memories now, but Loki knew memories could be relived. Besides, if his mother approved, Fandral must be a good choice. He’d give him an honest chance.

     Thor didn’t seem to like that information and was quite obvious about that fact for the whole of their mother’s visit. She didn’t stay long but Loki was grateful of every second he got to spend with her. She left them both quickly as it seemed she had to deal with some matters in Asgard. She was queen after all. They both were sad to see her go but Frigga urged them to take care of one another.

     “Also, my dear son, please give Fandral a chance.” Frigga told him right before the Bifrost took her away. Loki nodded to himself. He should speak with him. There was so much he needed to know. So much he wanted to understand.

      “Did Fandral stay here last night?” Loki asked and suddenly, it became less sunny on the balcony.

     “Brother, if you dare think to prey upon my friend-”

     “No one preys upon Fandral.” Loki laughed. “It’s quite the opposite really.”

     A few drops of rain hit the balcony and Loki could hear thunder in the distance. Was this making his brother that angry that he was commanding the skies to show his discontent? Did his brother think that such a show of strength would deter him? Loki smiled wickedly.

      If anything, it made him want to find Fandral even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I took a while with this. I have a terrible cold so I'm a little slow on updating.


	21. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds Fandral, Thor finds Loki, Tony finds his anger and Clint finds quality entertainment

      He found Fandral standing alone in one of the halls of the common floor looking very lost. He had been wandering towards the meeting room and Loki was sure that probably wasn’t his destination. Though he did look adorable with such a bewildered expression on his face. The tower was rather large, and it would be easy to lose one’s place. Loki supposed he should help him out.

      When Fandral noticed his approach, the warrior brightened up immediately. Gone were the traces of confusion and what was replaced was nothing short of adoration. It was the kind Loki had never seen on his friend’s face before. There had been many maidens the warrior had pursued in the past and never had Loki seen such a tender look in his eyes. Perhaps that was why his relationships never lasted more than a few weeks. There had never been love within them.

     “My beloved, you have come to see me.” Fandral bowed slightly in respect.

     “I hope Anthony was generous with your sleeping arrangements.” Loki spoke and noticed Fandral’s eye twitch a little. Was he annoyed by the mere mention of Tony? What had occurred in his absence? If Fandral did feel annoyed, he made sure not to show it on his face or in his jubilant voice.

     “Even if he was to condemn me to a broom closet I would sleep joyfully knowing I would see your lovely face in the morning.”

     “Do you ever get tired of your own words?” Thor’s growl didn’t even surprise Loki. He should have known his brother would follow him where ever he wandered. Too much competition to leave him alone he supposed.

     “Such unkind words, brother.” Loki teased but it only made his brother’s frown deepen.

     “He speaks to you as if you are but a maiden he wishes to bed.”

     “My friend, I mean no disrespect.” Fandral bowed slightly to show his respect to his prince. He looked a little offended and slightly hurt by Thor’s accusations. Loki could tell Fandral was not even considering Thor a competitor for Loki’s affections. Perhaps he merely saw him as a protective older brother. “I am aware of your worries, but I speak the truth when I say I wish to spend the rest of my days with Prince Loki. We need not any hostility, if we are to become brothers.”

     “I already have a brother.” Thor snapped. “I wish not for another.”

      Fandral’s eyes widened. He wasn’t afraid. Instead, he seemed more dismayed, if anything. Perhaps he had been hoping for his friend’s support. Loki supposed Thor would have, had it been anyone other than Loki. What did Fandral think Thor was doing? Did he believe him to be like Odin and finding him unworthy?

     “Pay him no mind, dear Fandral.” Loki touched the warrior’s arm and gave him a small smile. The warrior smiled blissfully and turned to hold that hand immediately.

     “I could barely close my eyes last night, my love. My thoughts were only of you. Picturing your beauty and remembering your soft voice. I feared if I would dream, that my dreams would take me elsewhere and I would miss your loveliness.” Fandral told him in a smooth voice that use to make Loki’s legs feel weak. At the moment, he stood strong. _Curious_. However, Loki couldn’t help but smile at his words. _Such devotion_. It filled his heart with such warmth. “I would rather lay awake the whole night than face a terrible slumber without your elegance.”

     “Alright, Aerosmith. Calm down.” A voice from behind them brought their attention to the stairs. Tony walked down the stairs keeping a glare on the Asgardian. Loki noted that Fandral tensed up the moment he heard Tony’s voice. Interesting.

     “Hello, Anthony.” Loki smiled at the mortal.

     “I’m pretty sure the reason you couldn’t sleep last night is because you got locked in the training room.” Tony mocked with a contemptuous smirk. “How was the fighting ring? Comfortable?”

     “I had never known such comfort back on Asgard.” Fandral responded flatly. His face devoid of the happiness he exhibited early. Now it had twisted into a tense and dangerous expression. Even the smile he gave Tony was filled with malice. This wasn’t unlike Fandral when he was angry. He always tried to remain polite even if his tone was more dangerous. Always one to try to avoid a fight but not one to hold back his discontent. “I am certain Sir Jarvis informed you of the abysmal state of your door to said training room?”

    Tony paused. He took a deep breath as if he was trying to calm down his feelings. Loki supposed it didn’t work because the man pressed his lips together and glared at the other with an intensity that Loki swore he could feel upon his skin. Dangerously, the mortal walked up to the taller warrior and held up one finger.

     “You can’t go kicking out doors in my tower.”

     Fandral let out a laugh devoid of all humor. That was new. Loki never knew Fandral to display that sort of behavior before. He moved away from Loki and came closer to the mortal man. Loki didn’t know what was about to happen. Apparently, a lot had occurred during the time Thor kept him in his room.

     “I verily believe myself to have been quite generous for waiting until morning before doing away with said door.” Fandral told the billionaire with a shrug. His tone then turned patronizing as if he was speaking to a mere child. “You must understand that doors that will not open on their own sometimes require some _persuasion_.”

     This was dangerous. Despite Fandral’s fake politeness, he could see the anger boiling inside Tony.  Loki knew the mortal wouldn’t last a second in an actual fight with the blonde warrior. One punch and Tony Stark would be the next patient to grace the medical bay. He wasn’t any stronger than other Midgardian. After spending time on Earth, Loki could now understand the sheer helplessness of mortals. So fragile and yet, so willing to fight beings much stronger than them.

     Thor knew the limitations of mortals better than any other Asgardian. He had to live for a while as one. So, he knew how dangerous it would be for Tony if he continued to argue with Fandral. Slowly, Loki saw his brother approach the two looking between them warily.

     “Friends, let’s not argue.” Thor moved in between the two men and pressed a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Did you indeed trap him in the training room?”

     “He asked for _sleeping quarters_ so, I gave him one.” Tony responded as Thor moved him away from the situation.

     “But such a room is not for sleeping.” Thor told him, and Loki could see Tony smile proudly.

     “I know.”

     Thor and Tony continued talking in a hush tone. Loki was curious. What was his brother speaking of so privately with the other man that Fandral and he were not privy to? He didn’t get to think about it too much as the smooth warrior came closer and touched his shoulder, gaining his attention.

    “My dear Prince, I apologize for such a scene.” He turned his eyes downward sheepishly.

     “Do not worry. I would have behaved worse in such circumstances.” Loki admitted. He wouldn’t have been as polite as Fandral. He would have blasted the door immediately and have words with Tony right afterwards. If there was a fight to be had because of it, Loki would analyze the situation. If he could win, Loki would waste no time in putting the mortal in his place. If not, Loki would have to get even in a more underhanded way. However, Fandral wasn’t like that. He was always one who would rather not fight when he didn’t have to. He would happily go into battle. He would happily join in a hunt. He took pride in sparring but when it came to arguments, he would rather defuse the situation. He had much more patience than Loki could ever have.

     “May I sing to you a song I composed last night when visions of your splendor inspired me?” Fandral smiled at him hopefully. Gone were the expressions of annoyance or guilt. He was now as bright as he was the moment Loki first saw him.

     “A song?” Loki was confused but Fandral just winked and brought a lute from behind him. A lute that Loki hadn’t even noticed he was carrying. Loki smiled softly encouraging the man to continue. Softly, the warrior strummed a sweet tune that seemed to be noticed by both Tony and Thor.

      He had a beautiful voice. It wasn’t a secret in Asgard since many maidens had the privilege to hear his songs. Loki expected a song about love or sweet nothings like all the other ones Fandral composed. However, he was shocked when the song spoke of something more specific.

_The battle was lost again, my love_

_Once more tears fall from your eyes_

_I bring you beauty to soothe my love_

_The light on your face my prize_

     Loki remembered when he was much younger. Before even puberty when he had first met Fandral. They were still children then and despite his magic, Thor had still bested him when they sparred. He hed been learning well, but he had still been too unskilled in his magic to gain an upper hand. Loki knew he had cried much more freely than he did in later years. He would sob causing his mother to come scoop him up and soothe him. However, she wasn’t always around when Loki and Thor played.

     He remembered fondly a time he had been upset by his defeat and Fandral had come to his side instead. The boy had not been as skilled with his charm and words in their youth. In fact, he hadn’t done much but follow his older brother around like he had no will of his own. But after Thor’s victory, he had not laughed at Loki’s tears like other boys would. He had instead placed a flower in his hands and asked him if he liked it. It was a silly gesture, but Loki supposed it was the beginning of the feelings that he would feel during his more formative years.

     Why was Fandral singing about that? Why would he even remember something so silly? Loki was such a cry baby back then. It was embarrassing.

     The song continued, mentioning the times Fandral would find him in the library. Fandral singing as if he had always hoped to see Loki alone there waiting for him. It moved to the very first battles they fought together, and the warrior made it seem like he had always worried for him. Loki wondered if the potion changed how someone viewed the past. Or was his mother correct with her assumption? Did Fandral feel the same as he had back then?

     Sometime during the song, Thor and Tony had sat down on a nearby bench in the hall. Tony was rolling his eyes making small comments to Thor. Comments that Thor didn’t seem to be responding to. Instead, his brother had crossed his arms over his chest childishly and was sulking. Loki found such a look to be quite attractive on his brother.

      Fandral’s song had brought up many happy memories. Loki hadn’t thought his past held such good memories. Perhaps he had been too caught up in all the bad that had happened, he had neglected to remember the good. Fandral was part of that good. When the warrior finished, Loki turned to his brother and smiled wide.

     “Had he not sounded wonderful, brother?”

     “I’ve heard better.” Thor grumbled refusing to look him in the eye. Tony nodded in agreement. Both looking very unhappy that Loki had enjoyed the man’s song.

     Loki was so caught up enjoying his brother’s jealousy that he didn’t even know Fandral had come closer. Without warning, he felt his hand held softly and felt the brush of Fandral’s lips upon it. Suddenly, Loki found himself remembering when his brother had done the same. He shook his head. No, he had to focus on Fandral, who was looking up at him on one knee with nothing but adoration. Loki’s face felt unbearably hot and his heartbeat had quickened substantially. Was this because of Fandral or his memory? No, it had to be for Fandral. Thor was his brother after all. Also, he always admired Fandral in his youth. Of course, his feelings would return.

     Thor jumped up from his chair and for a moment, he swore his brother was going to rip his friend away from him. Instead, the person who pushed their hands apart was Tony. He glared at the Asgardian warrior with all the strength a mortal could muster. Fandral lifted himself up and stared down at the man. The height difference wasn’t so significant that Tony felt intimidated, but it was apparently enough that Tony tried to stretch himself taller.

     “Listen buddy.” He spoke jabbing a finger into Fandral’s chest. “I don’t care who you think you are. Back off.”

     “I beg your pardon?” Fandral laughed amused. “Are you trying to lay claim to Prince Loki?”

     “He and I have a thing.”

     “A thing, Anthony?” Loki didn’t know where Tony got that idea. Well, he did. He supposed the man considered Loki’s _persuasion_ as proof of his feelings. Tony looked at him with a slight blush but didn’t deny what he believed to be true. Loki shouldn’t press the subject. Tony would be less likely to create the weapon if he knew Loki had no desires for him. But it still bothered him that the man would assume they had something going on just because he rubbed against him. It wasn’t even that enjoyable.

     “Clearly, the **thing** you speak of is not powerful enough to keep his attentions solely on you.” Fandral provoked which caught Loki off guard. There was no politeness in his tone like before when he was irritated. It may had been a false politeness, but he never sounded as venomous as he did at that moment.

     “I knew you’d be a pain in my ass the moment I saw you.” Tony got right into Fandral’s face.

     “Friends, let’s not-” Thor was cut off immediately by Fandral’s suggestion.

     “Shall we settle this like men?”

     “Oh, look at that. You read my mind.” Tony was eager. Eager to die in Loki’s opinion. There was no way that he could handle Fandral at his worst let alone now.

     “Have at thee!” Fandral pulled out a sword from his side and Loki suddenly felt faint. Tony was going to die, and it was going to be his fault.

     “Kick his ass, Fandral!” A voice shouted from above stopping everyone. They all looked up to see Clint, on the landing above the stairs, smiling from ear to ear. When did he get here? Did he hear the commotion and just rushed over like a commoner about to see an army’s return? “What? Don’t act like you never wanted to see Tony’s ass get kicked. Quality entertainment.”

     “Traitor.” Tony growled and lifted his hand towards Fandral. Loki heard something charging up and realized Tony had a piece of his suit on his hand. He was going to blast Fandral back and the warrior had no idea what he was facing. “Alright, Robin Hood. Let’s go.”

     “No. No. No!” Thor jumped between them and batted Fandral’s hand, which had been lifting his sword high, back to his side. “I will not allow this. The potion has poisoned your minds. Do not fight one another. Brother, say something.”

     “I’ll kiss the winner.” Loki couldn’t help it. Tony seemed to have his suit nearby and probably at the ready. This seemed to take away any of Loki’s previous anxiety. Tony could handle Fandral a bit. He handled Thor quite well before in his suit. Fandral was nothing compared to his brother. So, it would be an interesting fight.

     “NO!” Thor shouted as Tony lifted his hand again. He pushed down the mortal’s hand and caught Fandral’s arm in the other. “Stop! Enough!”

     The two men continued glaring at each other while Thor turned his glare solely on Loki. Why was he looking at him like that? He should be more like Clint, enjoying the show. After all, wouldn’t he want one of his competitors to be stuck in the medical bay during the time of the potion’s influence? One less competitor in the way. Yet, Thor did not seem to be thinking like Loki and worried more about his friends. The god of thunder turned to look at Tony again and sighed.

     “One of you should leave before this gets out of hand.”

     “It’s my tower.” Tony whined like a petulant child.

     “Stark.” Thor had a tone that didn’t warrant any more arguments. Tony looked around and analyzed the situation. He sighed and moved away taking off the piece of his suit on his hand. He gave a small smile at Loki, one devoid of happiness, and left begrudgingly.

     “Aw!” Clint sounded above them. “You ruined it.”

     “You are no better than my brother!” Thor shouted at the archer, who didn’t even flinch.

     “At least, I’m with pleasant company.” He joked back.

     “I can verily agree with such a view.” Fandral laughed loudly so the man above them could hear. “I too believe the prince to be very fine company indeed.”

     The smile on Clint’s face faded quickly. He was muttering something to himself and Loki couldn’t help but be curious. Using his magic, he sent his mind next to Clint but made sure no image of himself could be seen there. It would be terrible if he used his magic to eavesdrop and someone saw his projection.

     “Nobody would know. Nobody.” Clint was saying after whatever he had muttered prior. Loki wished he could turn back time just to hear what he had said. “Last time I saw him he was arguing with Tony. Maybe Tony blew up the training room. There is no way I snuck through the vents and shot him with an explosive arrow. I’m still healing. That would have ripped open my stitches. I’m going to miss the singing weirdo. He had a nice mustache.”

      Loki had to hold back a laugh lest his brother and Fandral would become suspicious. Clint was actually thinking about killing Fandral. For what? For a comment about liking Loki’s company? Just a few moments ago, he was hoping Fandral would defeat Tony. Such fickle loyalty.

     “Brother, we should leave.” Thor’s voice ruined everything, and Loki found himself back in the hallway he started in.

     “Leave?” Loki couldn’t deny the anger he felt. He had just got there, and everything was going so well. It wasn’t his fault Tony’s jealousy got the better of him. The mortal had even gone away. If Fandral wished to sing more songs to him, he could enjoy them without any interruption. He knew Clint was unhappy with Fandral as well, but he was sure the archer knew better than to start battles with the Asgardian. There was no reason for him to leave! “I do grow weary of you dragging me around like a children’s toy.”

     Thor stared at him pensively. Loki glared back at him refusing to move. Thor’s blue eyes remained strong looking into his ignoring the heat of his glare. His eyes reminded Loki of clear ocean water by a sandy beach. They even seemed to have a pattern within them similar to the sun rippling on the water’s surface. Were they always so striking? The trickster didn’t know how long they had stared at each other, but it was enough for Fandral to awkwardly clear his throat. They both ceased their staring as if awoken from a spell. What was he doing?

     Immediately, Thor grabbed Loki’s arm and dragged him out of the room towards the elevator. Loki didn’t fight this time. He was too busy wondering why he had stared so long. How long had they been staring? Once the doors closed and the button to their floor was pressed, his brother turned to him with his arms crossed.

     “Speak.”

     Loki was confused. What was he supposed to talk to Thor about? Did he want to know about why they stared at each other for so long? Loki blushed at the thought. What was he to say about that? He didn’t know the answer to that! Thor should figure it out on his own!

      “Brother, if something ails you, please, speak your mind.” Thor spoke again. Was this about before, when he refused to be dragged around? Was this about how Loki was done with his brother ruining his fun? Did Thor believe his unwillingness to allow Loki even a moment of freedom would be met with smiles? Did he think controlling where Loki could go or who he could speak to would make him happy? Did he not see what was wrong with his behavior? Loki could count the times he was given true freedom on one hand. Was his brother so jealous that he couldn’t see beyond it?

     Now he wanted to know Loki’s opinion? Before, he didn’t care what Loki had to say. No matter what he said, nothing changed. This morning especially when they were speaking with their mother. Thor didn’t even give him a chance to say his opinion about something pertaining to him! Now, Thor wanted him to speak? When it was convenient for him? Loki gave a snort of annoyance.

     “Oh, you are giving me permission?” Loki feigned surprise.

     “I know something ails you. I have seen it in your eyes many a time since you have come here. I, also, know that it is not merely your irritation to my protection.”

     Loki widened his eyes and dropped his jaw in a comical manner. He placed one hand on his chest and gasped disingenuously. Thor had remained serious despite Loki’s mocking behavior. He had shifted a little uncomfortably but besides that, he remained strong.

     “Oh, is that what this is?” Loki’s false astonishment was laced with hostility. “Protection?”

     “Aye.” Thor looked a little wary as he nodded but didn’t take his eyes from him. Loki chuckled humorlessly. His false smile faded as he walked towards his brother crowding his space. Thor moved back, possibly instinctively or perhaps, for once, Loki intimidated him. He liked thinking that was what he was doing. Intimidating him. It would be a welcomed change to their dynamic. So, the trickster pressed on. He didn’t stop moving forward until his chest was touching his brother’s.

      He was done playing games. If Thor did have feelings for him, then he needed to own up to it. Not pretend that he was protecting him as if he was being noble. No, Thor was anything but noble when he pulled Loki away from others. He was only thinking about himself. This Loki knew to be true. It had to be true.

     “What are you protecting me from?” Loki asked giving his brother a false look of innocence. His brother didn’t respond. But he didn’t have to. Loki could hear it. His brother’s breathing had become uneven. He could feel it. His brother’s pulse was quickening, and his body had tensed. “Them?” Loki leaned closer placing his lips near his brother’s ear. He shivered. His brother actually shivered! Loki smiled mischievously. “Or yourself?”

      “I know not what you speak of.” Thor pushed him away roughly just as the doors to the elevator opened on to their floor. He looked at Loki completely shocked. His eyes were widened as far as they could go. His face was flushed a bright red all over and he was panting like he had taken several flights of stairs instead of riding the elevator.

      “Of course, brother.” Loki smiled at him pretending he didn’t notice Thor’s reaction to his teasing. He walked away confidently, knowing he was leaving a very bothered Thor behind him. “Come.” He called back not even needing to look behind him to know his brother was still in the elevator. “Aren’t we leaving to your quarters where I can be…Protected?”

     He heard the doors try to close and Thor barely stopping them. Loki chuckled to himself. He was affected. He was fighting it but how long could he do that? How long before he broke?

     Loki couldn’t wait to find out.


	22. My Heart Will Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor phones a friend, Loki learns what Tony meant by French girls and Loki tries to flirt with an insecure Thor.

     It was beyond frustrating. It was perhaps the most frustrating thing Loki had ever encountered in his life. Thor was now a puzzle that the younger prince couldn’t piece together. How did this even happen? Loki had once prided himself in knowing all there was about his older brother. When others had been blind to his faults, Loki had taken notice to them. When others could not predict his behavior or gauge his response, Loki had been the one to anticipate and understand everything.

     Perhaps it was because they had drifted apart. Perhaps Midgard changed his brother in ways Loki could never imagine. Even as he stayed on Midgard himself, he had never understood it and probably never would. Still, he had thought that a person in love remained the same as any other. That reactions to one’s object of desire would be universal and yet, Thor behaved differently than anything the trickster could imagine.

     When he and his brother reached the room, his brother excused himself. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone leaving Loki confused and alone. Loki supposed Thor could be calling someone about bringing them lunch but never had he left the room to do so. Did he not worry about Loki teleporting away? He could easily leave at any moment! Wasn’t Thor worried?

     “No, such behavior is unacceptable.” It was the first thing he heard his brother utter when he cracked open the door. His back remained pointed towards him, so Loki was unable to gauge his emotion. However, he seemed to be talking to someone on the phone about something other than the menu. “He remains my brother.”

     Loki was certain his brother was chatting to someone about how he behaved in the elevator. Which one of them exhibited the unacceptable behavior though? Loki could easily assume Thor was talking about him, but he couldn’t leave out the possibility that Thor may be talking about himself. He could be upset that he had reacted so strongly to Loki’s teasing. Loki decided to continue listening in hopes of uncovering who Thor was referring to.

     “I could not bear to do such a thing.” Thor’s voice sounded frightened. Loki never knew his brother to show his fears in front of anyone. _Well, apart from me_. Loki thought bitterly. Who was on the phone? Who did his brother decide was worthy to hear him so vulnerable? “I believe it is best the way it has been.”

     Loki was no longer focusing on his words. He couldn’t. He wanted to hear the voice on the phone. He needed to know who his brother trusted enough to confide in. In their youth, Thor always confided in him. He was the one his brother turned to. Why was this any different? Loki felt a strange anger bubble inside him. He knew that he was the subject of Thor’s concern, but he was still upset. He thought his brother told him everything.

     But that was just when they were children. As they grew older, Thor drifted further away. Who did Thor confide to when he was away on his hunts without Loki. Did he speak to the warrior three or Lady Sif about his troubles at home? Loki wouldn’t know because as the years went on, Thor brought Loki with him less and less. It was true Loki would decline an offer to go often but he always assumed Thor would drag him anyway and he had. He would drag him off regardless if Loki had wanted to go but as they got older, Thor stopped being as stubborn. The offers became less and when Loki said no, Thor never pressured him.

     Thor used to confide in him during their youth. Before bed, their beds next to each other, he would talk to Loki about anything. They grew older and had rooms of their own but still Thor would enter his room and talk about anything. Loki always knew Thor’s secrets and if his older brother had been lucky, he would know his. However, such meetings became less frequent as time went on even though Loki never locked his door. But Thor had.

     It hadn’t been that Loki had been looking to confide in his older brother. It hadn’t been that he had been interested in seeing his brother before he slept. It had been merely because Loki had let Thor borrow a book of his and needed it returned. Thor had been aggravating one of their tutors for not learning properly the different trade agreements between the realms and why such agreements were necessary. Loki had given him a book that detailed the unique differences of each realm and what each had to offer each other. When he had approached his brother’s quarters, however, he did not knock. They hadn’t needed such formalities. Thor had always just burst into his room and Loki had been about to do the same except for one problem. The door had been locked.

     It had been the beginning of something Loki didn’t quite understand. Their lives had changed. Thor went down one path and Loki another. There was a space that grew between them. Thor had moved closer to his friends and Loki had been casted away. Even when he would agree to come along and accompany them, he always felt that he could never cross that space. He could never get back to where he once was.

     “No, I suppose not.” His brother’s voice shook him from his thoughts. He was still chatting with whoever was on the phone. Despite Loki losing himself to his memories, Thor still hadn’t noticed him. The trickster became curious. Who could it be on that phone?

     Straining his ears, Loki swore he could hear a female voice. It couldn’t be Romanov, could it? Though they fought many battles together, Loki doubted she could be so close to his brother that he would confide in her. She seemed like the type that liked to keep her distance. Also, she was a woman that didn’t bother with excessive words. She was to the point and Loki respected that. So, whoever was giving Thor a huge speech couldn’t have been her.

     Could it be his mortal woman? It would make sense wouldn’t it? She was the one who changed his brother. She was the one who taught him to see the error of his ways. He listened to her where his ears had become deaf to Loki centuries ago. No doubt it was her on the phone cooing at his brother and assuring him all was well. Loki felt angrier by the second.

     But wasn’t the topic about him? Was Thor truly confiding about his incestuous desires to his beloved mortal? Loki hoped it was true. He hoped his brother went into detail about their exchange in the elevator. He hoped she felt inadequate compared to him. However, he was sure not even his brother could be that thoughtless. Perhaps it wasn’t about the elevator. Perhaps he was talking about how Loki tempted his shield brothers. He understood that Jane Foster would do her best to solve such a problem. After all, she could solve anything in Thor’s life. But then why did Thor have to assure her that he remains his brother? To make her feel that the potion didn’t affect him when nothing could be further from the truth?

     “I cannot. I could never bear him-”

     Thor seemed panicked. What did she suggest to him? Why did she cut him off? Loki bit his bottom lip nervously. He began fiddling with his fingers. It was a silly nervous tick but one he never got out of the habit of doing. What was going on? He wanted to know and yet, felt afraid to find out.

     “You are truly wise Lady Darcy. I wish you and Lady Jane luck in your endeavors in England.”

     Darcy? Loki thought back to when Thor was banished. Who was Darcy again? She must have been a friend of Jane since Thor mentioned her in the same breath. So, he wasn’t speaking to his mortal woman. But why not? It seemed odd that he would call her friend rather than her. Perhaps he didn’t want her to know about his emotional conflict. But that also meant he must trust this Lady Darcy with his secrets. Loki didn’t know how to feel about that.

     “It warms my heart to hear her choose forgiveness. Still, it was wrong of me to even-” Thor was cut off once more and he nodded a little dejectedly. “Thank you. I will cherish your advice.”

     Loki found himself trying to figure out the meaning of those words. Jane had to give him forgiveness? Was she angry at him? For what? Did she think herself worthy to be angry at his brother? It made Loki frown deeply. She wasn’t so great that she could treat his brother in such a way. Did that mean they were no longer together?

     That must have been the reason he called Lady Darcy instead of her. Loki didn’t know much about Midgardian culture, but he knew they loved to act awkward around people they no longer hold romantic feelings for. When they cease being in a relationship, they tended to avoid each other. It was as if they could never be anything but lovers. It wasn’t like that on Asgard. If it was, Sif would have abandoned following Thor everywhere a long time ago. They had a little affair back when they were young, and her hair was still blonde. Loki was proud to admit he was the reason for both their decision to remain friends and her hair becoming black. If she was Midgardian, Loki wouldn’t have to suffer her glares. She would have been too embarrassed to see Thor. But knowing her, she probably still had hope Thor would turn her way again. Foolish woman.

     “Brother.” Thor’s voice brought him back to the present. He was caught standing at the door. His brother knew now that Loki was eavesdropping. Yet, for some reason, Thor didn’t seem bothered by it. He just smiled at him and opened the door a little more. “I have a movie I wish to watch with you.”

     Loki didn’t understand. Didn’t he care that the subject of his discussion was there listening to his conversation? Wasn’t he worried what Loki might do with the latest information he acquired? Or was he going to ignore this like the feelings he harbored? Was everything just easier to ignore when dealing with Loki?

     Thor didn’t wait for Loki to respond to what he said. Instead, he dragged his brother to the couch once more and turned on Netflix. Loki had never heard of Netflix until he stayed in this tower. Probably because he never really cared for movies or shows. After a few moments of his brother just silently inputting letters into the search, he found what he wanted to show him. It was a movie, but Loki didn’t understand the title. He supposed the vessel in the picture was of enormous shape or power. Perhaps it was about that. It certainly couldn’t be about the young man and woman who seemed to be in an intimate embrace above it. Loki was confused. What sort of movie was this?

     It started slowly. There were no fight scenes or people getting eaten. It was all about an old woman recounting about her youth. This wasn’t like the previous movies Thor had forced upon him. This one seemed to have depth and dragged along without any action. Loki looked at his brother, who appeared to be trying to pay attention solely to the movie but every now and then his eyes caught his. When it happened, he would look away quickly and once again pretend that the movie was the most interesting thing he could ever see. Loki knew it was all a lie, Thor seemed ridged and he could tell his brother was getting bored. After all, this wasn’t the type of movie Thor would find appealing. It seemed like the sort Loki might tolerate better. 

     Of course, that didn’t mean it was a good movie. Loki just simply would stomach it better than the drivel Thor forced him to watch. It paid more attention to the characters and there was a hint of romanticism in it. No, it wasn’t merely a hint. Loki’s eyes widened as he watched the man in the movie hold the woman’s waist lovingly. He stood behind her holding her safely as she spread her arms out. This was a movie about romance. This wasn’t just an ordinary movie with love thrown in. Love was the main focus. His brother was forcing him to watch a romance movie with him!

     Thor didn’t seem to notice. However, as the movie went on, Loki noticed his brother grow increasingly uncomfortable. Did he not know what sort of movie he had chosen? Loki was sure every movie on Netflix came with a small summary. Did he just see the title and thought it was about something amazingly powerful?

     Then came a very heated scene with the two in the back of an old looking automobile. Thor’s eyes became as huge as they were back in the elevator. There was no denying it now. The two characters were rutting on the screen. It didn’t matter if they didn’t see it happening. They knew it happened.

      “Lady Darcy suggested it.” Thor said suddenly his face growing redder by the second. Loki smiled a little to himself. He had to thank the movie for awarding him this gift and for teaching him what the French girls Tony was referring to was about.

     Loki decided to use his brother’s flustered state to his advantage. He scooted closer to his brother and laid his head on his shoulder. Thor tensed immediately but soon sighed and wrapped his arm around Loki bringing him closer. It was a curious reaction and not one Loki expected. He could hear his brother’s heart beat now as his brother tucked him under his chin. He could smell him and feel the heat rolling off of his body. Loki felt his own heart quicken its pace, but Thor’s had begun to calm down.

     That couldn’t be right. This amount of closeness was supposed to elevate one’s heart rate not calm it. Even Loki’s heart was beating faster, and he wasn’t even the one affected by the potion! So, why did his brother’s heart calm down while he held him? Perhaps, this was too reminiscent of their youth. Perhaps such closeness could remind Thor of the time they use to cuddle as children. It was probably best to do more than cuddling.

     Slowly, Loki touched his brother’s solid chest. He brought his hand up each curve of muscle delighting in the unsteady breath his brother took in. This was nothing like the way they would show affection in their youth. This was crossing a line that Thor was too cowardly to cross on his own. It, also, caused Thor’s heartbeat to quicken.

     “I see you haven’t forgotten to train during your stay here.” Loki tried to speak innocently, in an attempt to seem unaware of his brother’s reaction. Thor gulped.

     “One must always be ready.”

     “Indeed.” Loki slid his hand all over the front of his brother’s chest. He could feel his brother shiver under his touch. He wondered if he should take it a step further and slip his hand underneath the thin fabric separating his hand from his brother’s skin. “You feel very ready, brother.”

     “Perhaps we should focus on the movie?” His brother’s voice sounded strained.

     “Why would we want to do that?” Loki smiled wickedly as he dropped his hand and slowly brought it back under the bottom of the shirt. His fingers just brushed one of Thor’s rather firm abs before his hand was roughly grabbed and pulled away. He was pressed against the couch as his brother’s form covered his.

     He was pinned beneath him. Loki’s breath became uneven as he looked up at his brother in shock. Thor’s eyes looked dangerous in more ways than one. There was a heat coming from them that made Loki shiver. His wrists were being held on either side of his head pressed into the cushion below. Loki could easily use his legs to break free, since Thor merely kept his knees on either side of them, but he didn’t. He was far too amused by his brother’s reaction. That had to be it. This strange feeling inside him. This excitement. It was because this was all a fun game. It had to be.

     “Brother, I know not your intention but if this is a trick to catch me off guard, I assure you it won’t work.”  Thor warned breathlessly.

     “It won’t?” Loki laughed smiling devilishly. He leaned his head up towards his brother. “Is there a reason that is so?”

     There was a myriad of emotions that flashed behind Thor’s eyes, but one stood out the most: Hurt. Loki made him have that expression, he just knew it. But he didn’t understand. Wasn’t this what he wanted? Didn’t he desire him? If that was true, shouldn’t Thor be more excited that Loki was even paying attention to him?

     “Cease your teasing.”  Thor said softly. _Teasing_. Was Thor upset because he thought Loki was just playing with him? He was but that was beside the point. Thor pressed down on his wrists again in a silent warning and pulled himself up. Without another word, Thor grabbed the remote and turned off the television.

     “Brother.” Loki didn’t know what to say. He had enjoyed teasing his brother, but he never meant to have him look so wounded.

     “Perhaps we should finish this movie another day.” Thor wasn’t even looking at him. He wasn’t even giving Loki the satisfaction of knowing what was going through his mind. It was true that Loki couldn’t glean everything from the surface, but it was better than nothing. Thor lifted himself up from the couch and Loki found himself pushing himself forward and grabbing his arm.

     Thor froze.

     “No, I want to know what happens.” Loki spoke hesitantly. “Forgive me, brother. I know not what possessed me. Please.”

      Loki was never one to beg. He knew Thor knew that. He had to know that. He had to see that Loki never intended to hurt his brother in anyway. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Teasing flirtatiously was never something he ever thought would hurt any of his admirers. After all, wouldn’t they be happy with the attention?

     “Very well.” Thor sighed as if he was exhausted. He turned on the television and Loki slowly inched towards him. His brother eyed him warily.

     Was he not allowed to be close now? Loki was growing increasingly frustrated by the moment. He thought he knew Thor better than anyone, but he couldn’t understand a single thing he had done today. Did he want him or not? In the elevator, it seemed like he had but now it seemed like Loki was a nuisance to him. He couldn’t help but feel a little troubled by that.

     He heard Thor sigh once more before feeling a hand on the shoulder furthest from his brother. The thunderer was looking at him pensively. It was as if he was trying to read Loki’s thoughts from his expression alone. He shouldn’t waste his time. Loki knew Thor had never been the perceptive one of their family. It was the only solace Loki found at the moment. At least, he was as much as a mystery to his brother as he was to him.

     Slowly, Thor pulled him close again, eyes never leaving Loki’s face. He was expecting him to do something but what? His brother let out another pitiful sigh. Loki was becoming frustrated. What did he want from him? Their closeness was different from before. Instead of being held to his chest like earlier, Loki was merely brought to Thor’s side. Yet, somehow, it felt more intimate.

      As they were brought together, Thor’s hand left his shoulder and slid down his side before stopping on his hip. Thor had moved his hand slowly watching Loki the entire time. The younger prince couldn’t help but shiver as he felt his brother’s warm hand trail down painfully slow and hesitant. He didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t stop his face from heating up and couldn’t dare look at his brother’s face, but he knew he was still looking at him. He could feel it. 

     Was his brother trying to tease him back? Loki didn’t understand. He thought Thor would have thought himself above such petty revenge. Loki tried to quiet his heart. His brother’s hand was on his hip. What did it matter? It wasn’t like he was rubbing his hip or anything. It was just there; stationary. No need to be bothered by it.

     But he was. Loki was very bothered by it. He couldn’t look at his brother. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing him flustered. In an effort to hide his face, Loki let his head rest on his brother’s shoulder. Thor didn’t need to shift because they already fit each other so perfectly. _Like they belonged this way._ Loki shook his head. Why did he think that? Why was his brother suddenly acting like he wasn’t angry before? How could he focus on the movie when his brother was acting so strangely, and his hand still remained on his hip?

     Thor turned the television back on and started the movie again.

     Unfortunately, despite finishing the movie, Loki couldn’t tell anyone how the rest of it went.


	23. Sometimes I Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds out that Clint isn't the only one who likes to watch.

     Jack died. Loki didn’t know how it got to that point or why, but he knew this to be true. Jack died, and Rose didn’t even help him out a little bit. Even if they didn’t have room for both, they could have taken turns on it. Maybe even moved towards possibly another large piece of debris. No, Jack died, and Loki definitely wasn’t crying about it.

     Foolish Jack.

     After that terrible ending, Thor turned off the movie and decided they had seen enough. Loki agreed. He never wanted to see that movie again. It was horrible. It was terrible. The worst movie he had seen so far. He wiped his eyes as he got up from the couch.

     Thor made no attempt to comfort him during his momentary disappointment. Disappointment because the tears that escaped his eyes were definitely not the result of him feeling for the characters. He was simply surrounded by very dry air around that couch. It could have happened to anyone really. Despite that fact, Thor could have still done something to comfort him. Loki would have gotten angry, but he could have at least attempted it. Wasn’t Loki supposed to be the object of his affection?

     Instead, his brother left the couch abruptly and stated that he was going to take a shower. His brother was going to ignore what happened. He was going to ignore the moment they had on that couch not too long ago. He was going to ignore the fact that he held Loki so intimately.  But the trickster couldn’t ignore it. He swore he could still feel the heat of his brother’s hand on his hip even though the hand was removed a while ago. His brother was going to go take a shower and forget that he distracted Loki so much that the trickster didn’t even realize the movie was still on until Jack died. 

     Why did he always do this? Loki couldn’t understand what was causing his brother to behave like this. Did he worry so much about the opinions of others? Was that why he never pursued Loki after the potion went into effect? Loki never thought of his brother as the type to care. Thor had his own opinions about himself and had made it very clear in their youth that those were the only opinions that mattered.

      As they entered, Loki took note of the small clock on his dresser. It was a pretty clock incased in gold. It had a beautiful floral design etched into it and sat proudly on two curved legs. It had been there for only a few days now, but it made Loki curious.

     “There is a question that still plagues my mind, brother.” Loki spoke as his hands brushed against it. “Why did you choose to stop decorating your room?”

     “I did not begin, brother.” Thor spoke as he threw his shirt to the ground exposing his very firm chest. It wasn’t too long ago that Loki’s hand had touched such a chest. He could almost feel the heat beneath his fingertips. He shook his head. What was he doing? Turning away, he focused back on the handsome clock.

     “You brought this lovely clock and nothing more.” Loki gestured to it and noticed his brother had ceased moving. Thor had been unbuckling his pants when Loki had spoken. The only reason the trickster knew this was because Thor had stopped while still holding his belt.

     “I had believed that clock to be yours.” This was curious. How did neither of them question a clock that appeared suddenly in their room? There was never a time anyone else was in their room. Loki thought back. There was. Bruce had said hello the first night, but the clock didn’t appear then. Steve had brought breakfast, but the clock wasn’t there after that. It couldn’t have been Clint in the vents because Tony had entered to place censors on the opening above their room. In fact, Tony put censors on every supposed exit. So, there was no way that anyone could have come in without them knowing. But the clock had been there around the same time Tony had put up that security system.

     Now that Loki thought about it, Tony was in their room for a prolonged period alone. He had access to everything in the room. Loki didn’t recall Tony carrying a clock, but he did have a large tool box. He could have easily slipped it in there and brought it to their room. But why?

     Thor had decided to focus more on stripping down before leaving Loki in the room alone. Did he not worry about strange items being brought into their room? Tony was very intelligent. He didn’t put a clock in their room for decoration. It had a purpose.

     Loki lifted the clock and gave it a once over before slamming it to the ground. Tony was a genius. Nothing he would have hidden in that clock would be viewable from the surface. He picked through the shattered glass and pulled the clock’s face out savagely. His thin fingers ripping apart through wires and cogs. He paused. It wasn’t deep within. So far all he found was the inner workings of a normal clock. That couldn’t be right. Loki looked back at the clock face he had ripped away. He pulled on the hands snapping them off and viewed them closely. On the hour hand there was a strange gleam. Turning it over he saw a dying red light.

     To say Loki was furious would have been a gross understatement. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking at, but he could hazard a few guesses. The most likely one was that Tony had snuck the clock into the room with a small camera hidden inside. Loki knew it was possible it was a sensor of sorts or just audio recording, but this was Tony. He wouldn’t have just put something facing the bed and bathroom door if he wasn’t recording. Loki suddenly became conscious of all the times he stripped before closing the bathroom door. He thought back to all the times he changed his clothes in view of the clock.

     That was how Tony knew he was only allowed an hour of freedom that day. Back when they were at the bar enjoying drinks together. Tony somehow knew all about it. Loki had figured that Romanov told him because Thor hadn’t the time to, but now it made more sense that Tony knew from spying on him. All his private conversations with Thor. Their arguments, their friendlier chats and awkward moments. The kiss on his hand. The night when he touched his brother’s back. Loki blushed furiously. He saw all of it didn’t he?

     Loki was upset but he didn’t really know how he should feel. On one hand, he could have used it to his advantage had he known. When Clint was in the vents, he was a little concerned but for the most part, amused. This didn’t make him feel that same amusement. For some reason the thought of someone else looking at him and his brother’s interactions disturbed him. Thor just stripped in full view of the clock. Did Tony watch that as well? Did his perversion know no limit?

     The thought of a mortal watching his unsuspecting brother strip caused Loki to lean more towards the deep rage he had felt earlier. Without cleaning up the mess he made, Loki stood up and marched out the door. When he found Tony, the mortal was going to wish he was never born. He entered the elevator quickly and punched the button for the common floor. For Tony’s sake, the mortal better hope Loki didn’t find him there. Once the doors open, he wasted no time in heading towards the common area. As he was storming down the hall, he saw Clint looking at him very worriedly.

     What Tony was doing was no different from Clint spying on him before. Yet, Loki couldn’t calm down the anger the billionaire’s intrusion on his privacy had given him. Perhaps he should stop and talk to Clint about the situation. What if it wasn’t Tony that brought the clock? All the evidence pointed to him, but Loki would rather not kill an innocent man. Too messy.

     “You were in the vent that day, weren’t you?” Loki asked not explaining what day he was speaking of. Perhaps there were other days because the archer suddenly looked very confused. _How many people are spying on us without my knowledge?_ Loki thought angrily.

     “I’m sorry,” Clint sputtered. He shook his head a little. “What?”

     “The day I teased you while you were in the vent,” Loki clarified. “Did you linger?”

     “I had to leave because Tony caught me,” Clint explained, and Loki was shocked he didn’t know about this. Tony found out Clint was in the vents? He would have loved to see how that played out. “He and I had a few words but nothing terrible happened.”

     “Nothing escapes your eyes.” Loki knew Clint was exceptionally talented in noticing things others could not. His eyes were trained to take in every detail. “Did you notice anything unusual?”

     “Besides Tony getting irritated I was seeing him work?” Clint laughed nervously. He was probably not expecting being interrogated or perhaps it was the fierce look upon Loki’s face. No doubt he hadn’t changed his murderous glare. “Pretty suspicious if you ask me.”

     “Did you notice a clock?”

     “A gold one?” He knew about the clock! Loki nodded encouragingly.  “Yeah, did something happen?” Clint seemed genuinely concerned. Loki couldn’t say that he was any better than Tony in this regard. The man did spy on him through the vents. However, he was sure he wouldn’t like the idea that Tony was also spying on the god. Perhaps he wouldn’t need to have words with Tony. Perhaps he could tell Clint and the archer would deal with it himself. After all, Loki did need Tony’s cooperation in making that weapon for him.

     “Well-”

     “Can you just lay off?” It was loud, and it got Clint’s attention. Immediately, like a moth to a flame, Clint ran towards the direction of the commotion. If Loki was less angry, he would have noticed the voice was Bruce’s. If he was less determined to find one Tony Stark, he would have notice the voice arguing with Bruce was Fandral’s.

     However, Loki ignored all of that and made his way to Tony’s lab. There was a chance that Tony was in the common floor but with all the commotion that had been happening, he doubted he would remain their long. The one place the man would retreat to was his lab. If he hadn’t been there, he would still most likely be in his lab. So, Loki was quite confident that the odds were in his favor.

     “Anthony.” There was a darkness in Loki’s tone that he knew was sending shivers down the mortal’s spine. Tony jumped at the sound of his voice and moved away from whatever he was tinkering with.

     “I know why you are here and just answer one question.” Tony put his hand in front of him as if that would shield him from Loki’s ire. “Can you blame me?”

     “Yes. I can.” Loki growled and approached the man slowly. He wanted Tony to feel every step he took with dread. He wanted him to know that there was no power more potent than that of his rage. Tony was looking rightfully intimidated. He backed up a bit allowing his lower back to hit the table behind him. Lifting up both his hands in defense, the man tried to make himself look smaller.

     “I don’t get to see you enough.” The argument came out like a petulant whine. Like Tony was some child demanding attention from his parent. Loki didn’t know why the man felt like he had the right to demand anything from him. “I just wanted to-”

     “View me naked?” Loki snapped. _And view my brother naked_. Loki added in his mind. Instead of jumping at the tone of his voice, Tony put down his hands and shrugged. The man had the audacity to smile and wink at him.

     “That was a bonus.”

     Loki pressed his chest against Tony letting the mortal feel his true weight. Tony was pinned between the table and him. Then something caught his eye. It seemed Tony was working on a weapon of sorts behind him. His weapon? Moving back a bit, Loki tried to compose himself. What was he doing? He wasn’t his brother! He didn’t lose his mind over silly things like this. What if Tony decided not to make the weapon because of Loki’s behavior. He sighed.

     “Did you enjoy it?” Loki looked down ashamed by his own behavior. Tony straightened up and fixed his clothes a little. He eyed the trickster warily.

     “Probably not as much as I would if I was in the room with you.”

     “Of course,” Loki sighed. He needed Tony to continue making him that weapon. Looking over, he only saw that it was going to be long. Perhaps a scepter or staff. He forced a smile on his face. It was best to change the subject.

     He neared Tony once more but this time without hostility. He could see the billionaire was a bit confused by the switch in temperament, but he was sure he could distract him enough from thinking too deeply about it. Loki’s hands found the sides of Tony’s soft waist. Tony smiled and brought his own hands up to wrap around the trickster’s.

     “What would you have done if you were with me, Anthony?” Loki was very skilled at pretending. He was sure not even Tony’s disembodied butler would be able to detect the falseness in his tone.

     “Something like throwing you on the bed and showing you some of Earth’s hospitality.”

     “What a gracious host you would be.” Loki dipped his head down not enough that Tony could capture his lips. But close enough to seem interested in doing so.

     “The best of hosts,” Tony replied breathlessly. He was staring at Loki’s lips. “So, uh, could that be arranged?”

     A door opened from down the hall behind Loki. It was almost as if it was being torn off the hinges.  Heavy footsteps directly followed. Each step seemed angrier than the next. Only one man would make that much noise. Immediately, Loki moved from the billionaire.

      “Not with my brother policing my behavior,” Loki pretended to be disappointed, but he was actually glad his brother had come at this time. He wasn’t interested in having to feel Tony’s attraction poking him again.

     “Speak of the devil.” Tony shook his head and sighed. “Let him in, Jarvis. Lord knows he’ll fry my new door.”

     Instead of making it so the other Avengers could not come down to the floor, Tony had opted to allow common access to the floor and had glass doors installed to separate the hall from the lab. This way, if Thor came down, Tony would see him and allow him in before he blew up anything. Loki was still amazed that it was done in such a short period of time. But then again, Tony did have the money and the resources to make it happen.

     “What’s going on here?” Thor eyed both of them suspiciously when he entered. His hair was still dripping. He was going to ruin any gadget he leaned over. Loki rolled his eyes.

     “Nothing you should concern yourself with.” He moved to Thor’s side and nodded at Tony. “I’ll speak with you later, Anthony.”

      “Don’t be a stranger.” Tony winked causing Thor to frown deeply. He wasted no time grabbing Loki’s arm and dragging him out the door. Loki pulled his arm away. There was absolutely no need to drag him if he was coming along willingly!

       “What are you doing?” Loki huffed.

      “The clock in our room. Why was it broken?”

      The question caught Loki off guard. Why was he so concerned over the clock? He hadn’t really paid attention to it prior to today. In fact, Thor was just bewildered by its presence as Loki. His brother was staring at him waiting for his answer. He couldn’t tell him about the camera. Knowing his brother’s temper, Tony wouldn’t have a chance of surviving his wrath.

      “Why does it matter?”

      “Brother, you do not usually break an object for no reason.” What did he think the reason was? Why was Thor pressing the subject? Why couldn’t he just accept that Loki did things like that? Wasn’t that how everyone saw him anyway?

      Everyone on Asgard would say it quite frequently: Loki did things without any rhyme or reason. He was always talked about as if he never planned anything in his life. That he would just do things for the sake of it. Saying it like that made the good acts he did seem like he didn’t mean them. The terrible acts were just regarded as Loki being volatile and it was just part of his nature. No reasoning just Loki being Loki.

     It is easy to dismiss his pain when it was believed all his acts had no reason. No one needed to look at why he did something because Loki was just Loki. It was easy to ignore the root of the problem when covering it with a lie. And it was a lie. Loki very much had a reason for everything he did. Well, maybe not everything but most things. Perhaps he may not have the best reasons at times but there was a reason. And Thor knew this.

     Loki had long thought his brother had become like everyone else on Asgard, untrusting and dismissive. Most of the time, Thor displayed such beliefs. Loki very much thought the caring brother of his past had been lost forever. However, Thor actually knew there had to be a reason. The trickster didn’t know why but the thought of it filled his heart with warmth.

     “There was a reason.” He found himself saying. He didn’t want his brother of all people to fall into the same thinking as everyone else in Asgard. He had to know that Loki did do things for a reason. Thor moved closer eager to know the truth.

     “Which was?”

     “I didn’t like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had some difficulty writing this chapter. I scrapped a few versions and there is a deleted scene that didn't flow with the rest of the chapter.
> 
> Aka Fandral and Bruce's fight. It still happens off camera and will be referenced later but you don't actually have to see it happen. I just didn't know how to fit it into the chapter without it taking away from Loki's anger towards Tony. But here is a bit of it in chat form
> 
> Fandral: I understand your anger. *puts a hand on his chest and looks at Bruce in a patronizing way.* My heart too would harbor nothing but ill will towards a man who would snatch my beloved away  
> Bruce: *chuckles dangerously* You think I’m angry? You haven't seen angry.  
> Clint: *watching from a distance* Is this another fight? I hope the Hulk kicks his ass.  
> Steve: Whose side are you on?  
> Clint: Isn't it obvious? My own.  
> Steve: I see Loki has rubbed off on you.  
> Clint: I think I would know if Loki rubbed off on me  
> Steve: *somewhere between disgusted and upset that Clint would talk about Loki in such a manner*  
> Fandral: *not even noticing Clint or Steven* You do not have the appearance of a warrior, good sir. I would suggest you not pick battles you cannot win.  
> Bruce: Oh, really? *pressing his chest against Fandral with his neck vein turning green* Come on! Make me angry. I dare you  
> Steve: Okay. That's enough!


	24. Can't Go Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki head to the kitchen and neither of them get food :(

     They were hungry. The morning had left them, and the afternoon had already passed. Loki couldn’t even recall how long the movie they watched earlier had been. It had to have been excessively long because the day seemed to have gone before they knew it.

     Thor was going to see if they could make something in the kitchen. Hopefully, there was more food in the refrigerator than the last time he had looked in. Tony’s fridge had been perfect; stacked with all kinds of expensive and delicious ingredients. The common fridge was different. There were mysterious items wrapped in aluminum foil, a plastic container that Loki swore must have been an experiment of some kind and eggs. Loki was suddenly feeling less hungry.

     He caught the sun setting between the adjacent buildings through the large windows of the common area. It seemed their snack may end up becoming dinner after all. It wasn’t that the brothers were unaccustomed to skipping meals, Loki more so than Thor, but it wasn’t often that such things happened in Asgard. They were princes after all. Even when Loki was engrossed in studying, there would always be servants willing to bring food to where ever he may be.

      As they neared the kitchen, Loki’s eyes caught on Steve, who appeared rather exasperated as he sat on the couch. The man was sighing often and scowling at the floor as if it had offended him personally. Beyond him was Fandral exiting the kitchen with an apple in hand. Loki stared at the apple and unconsciously licked his lips.

     “There you are my moon and stars,” Fandral practically sang as he approached Loki. Behind him, he heard Thor groan in annoyance, but he paid it no mind.

     “Fandral, I hadn’t seen you in a while.” Loki smiled happily at his friend. He’d give him the apple. Fandral would do anything for him at this point, wouldn’t he?

      “You saw him this morning, brother,” Thor reminded him not even hiding the irritation in his voice. Loki noticed Steve nodding in agreement and couldn’t help but feel amused by it. Fandral must have mistaken his look for something else because the delicious looking apple was tossed away, and both of his hands were seized.

      “I feel the same way, my love.” Fandral rubbed small circles on the back of his hands with his thumbs. “The hours without you left me in agony.”

      “Agony that you bothered Bruce with,” Steve muttered sounding very tired. No doubt Steve probably did his best to keep the peace. Seeing that Fandral hadn’t become a permanent fixture in the floor, Loki would wager Steve had succeeded.

      “Good sir, I was not trying to make him upset.” Fandral looked at Steve without an ounce of remorse. It was as if he didn’t truly care about what he had done but was merely putting on a show. Despite feeling a little irritated that Fandral had no care for Bruce’s feelings, Loki couldn’t blame him. He once felt the same way about humans. Mortals were always thought to be beneath Asgardians. Thor was odd for viewing them as equals when most Asgardians would regard mortals as inconsequential. Certainly not the type of beings to feel bad for angering. “Do apologize to him on my behalf?”

     “I think apologies should be given in person.” Steve looked at Fandral hard. It was a look that should would have intimidated any other man in the room. However, Fandral must not have known what Steve was capable of. So, instead of looking intimidated, he just turned back to Loki with a smile, promptly ignoring the mortal. Loki sighed.

     “I will have to agree with our dear friend, Steven.” He pulled his hands out of Fandral’s grip. He cared for his friend, he really did. In the past, he loved him but now, Loki didn’t know why, but somehow Fandral’s behavior bothered him. “Bruce is sensitive. You should not have troubled him so.”

      His friend’s smile faded immediately, and a worried expression replaced it. It was as if Loki’s words caused him to realize his error. He brought his hands back to his side and pressed his lips together, looking down at his feet sheepishly.

     “It was never in my intention to cause him anger.”

     “If he was not green, friend. Anger was not what you caused.” Thor moved past Loki and slapped a heavy hand on his friend’s shoulder. Fandral’s lovely face winced on impact. Loki almost mirrored his expression. He had heard a loud smack when his brother’s hand met Fandral’s shoulder. That couldn’t have been pleasant. 

       “He turns green with anger?” Fandral looked completely bewildered. Thor must have not told him anything about the Avengers at all. Perhaps he had little time to between dealing with Loki and running around with his Midgardian allies. “Is this that Hulk the archer had referred to?”

     “Indeed.” Gently pushing Thor out of his way, Loki brought himself back to Fandral. He reached out and took his hand, causing the blonde swordsman to inhale sharply. With a small smile, Loki made sure to look into the warrior’s eyes as he spoke. “It is best that you got along with those in the tower. Especially, if you are going to stay for an extended period of time, dear Fandral.”

      “Then for you, my love, I will kneel in front of a mortal and ask for forgiveness.” In one fluid motion, Fandral turned his hand so that he was holding Loki’s instead of vice versa. He placed a chaste kiss to his fingers and bowed dramatically. From the corner of his eyes, Loki could see Steve roll his eyes and stand up.

     “I’ll show you the way,” The mortal offered.

     “You are most kind, sir Steven.” Fandral moved from Loki and placed a hand on the mortal’s shoulder. This caused Steve to make the most adorable, uncomfortable expression Loki had ever seen. “Perhaps the noblest of all the Midgardians.”

     Steve's eyes held back a growing agitation that seemed to be threatening to burst out at any moment. Yet, he smiled politely to Fandral, who didn’t seem to notice the irritation behind the falseness of his smile. Loki wondered if there was more to Steve’s irritation than just disliking how Fandral unsettled Bruce.

     As they walked away, Loki could see his brother was thinking. That was never a good sign. Thor wasn’t known for his brilliant ideas after all. Mainly because any brilliant idea his brother ever had was usually planted by Loki. Thor wasn’t a planner. He was someone that waltzed into a room and fought without a thought. So, whatever he was thinking in that big head of his couldn’t be good.

     It didn’t matter anyway. Loki was still hungry, and he wasn’t just going to stand around and stare at his brother, even if the sun setting was casting a lovely light upon him as he stood. His brother’s blonde hair shined brightly on one side as the sun desperately tried to continue shining on him despite its decent. Its light was dying but Thor’s hair still glowed in its brilliance.

     “When the potion is no more, we should return to Asgard.” Thor spoke idly gazing ahead with a far-off look.  It was enough to bring Loki back to his senses. How long had he been staring at his brother? He looked around, thankful no one else was nearby to witness it.

      “I think not,” he eventually replied to his brother once he was assured he had not embarrassed himself.  “Forgive me, brother, if I do not wish to be chained and hidden away in the dungeons.”

      Thor turned to him looking confused. Loki didn’t understand why he would be confused by such a statement. It was true that the crimes he committed were miniscule compared to the many their father had done. However, Thor never paid attention to their history tutor and probably wasn’t even considering that fact. Also, there was the little issue that Loki wasn’t a true son of Odin. If Thor had done it, maybe there would be reason to look confused, but this was Loki. He was sure that the dungeons would be all that he would be offered. Well, until they had use of him once more that is.

      “Father will not do that to you.” Thor sounded so sure of himself and Loki found it almost heartbreaking. Did he really believe their father wouldn’t condemn Loki to the depths of Asgard’s dungeons? This was the same man who stripped Thor of his power and casted him away to Midgard because of an argument. Well, there was also the little issue of killing Frost Giants and almost inciting a war, but Loki was sure, as hated as they were by the people of Asgard, the Frost Giants wasn’t the breaking point. Yet, Thor still had faith that their father would be merciful. “I am sure he would take in account your good behavior.”

     “Good behavior?” Loki chuckled a little. Did Thor really believe the nonsense he was saying? “So, what was the first millennium of my life? Not enough good behavior to overlook what I have done here?”

     “It’s not just Midgard, you also betrayed the crown.”

     “Betrayed the crown?” Loki’s mouth dropped. When did that occur? When did he go against the king of Asgard? Loki thought about it for a while and could come up with nothing. After all, what he had done before the fall was all done when he was king. So, was Thor trying to say he betrayed himself? Or did he erroneously believe he was somehow crowned king before their fight? “Right, because becoming king legitimately and trying to do away with our enemies is betraying the crown.”

      “You tried to kill me.” Thor was looking as frustrated as Loki felt. Kill? With what evidence did Thor bring with such an accusation?

     “Did I command the Destroyer to incinerate you?” Loki could see a flicker of realization pass through his brother’s eyes but was immediately destroyed. “Was I to know mortals were so weak to not even withstand a slap? It was not I, who spent my days on Midgard learning their limitations, was it? Besides, I was king. You were banished, stripped of your power and your rights. What king is considered a traitor for harming a common person?”

     Technically, Loki was right. He knew this and he, also, knew deep down Thor knew it as well. Technically, Loki was king, and Thor was nothing more than a mere mortal. Would anyone bat an eye if Odin struck down one mortal? Besides he didn’t know better. Well, sort of.  It was true that Loki had encountered Midgardians before. In their youth, they snuck onto Midgard, did a few tricks and were worshipped as gods. But they didn’t stay long, and they didn’t really get to see all the limitations of mortals. Everyone still felt them too beneath any of them to actually get to know them. So, it wasn’t like he was lying when he had said he didn’t know a slap would kill Thor. He was just hoping to break his jaw at most. Maybe a really nasty bruise in the least. Something Thor would feel for quite a while and know Loki put there.

     “When I regained my powers and my rights to the crown you fought me still.” Did he regain his rights? Loki thought about it for a moment. It was true Odin said he was unworthy of his title. It was also true that when Odin enchanted Mjolnir he only said that the person worthy would be able to lift the hammer. But nowhere did he mention that if you could lift it and gain all the powers of Thor that you were now king or had rights to the throne. Loki was still king. There had been no coronation for Thor and Loki certainly didn’t surrender the throne back to him.  Also, now that Loki thought about it, Odin never even said that when Thor could pick up his hammer that he was allowed back. Technically, he was still banished. If anyone was being a traitor, it was him. He was deliberately disobeying his king’s orders.

     But Odin wasn’t king at that moment, Loki was.  That didn’t really matter did it? The trickster certainly didn’t say he could come back. But Thor didn’t see it that way. Loki was sure all of Asgard wouldn’t see it that way and no matter what he said, they never listened. To them, Thor had regained everything he had lost. So, Loki fighting him at that moment did look bad. Technically, he was still king, but Thor was a prince and the son of Odin. So, it was a little problematic.

     “Yes, well.” Loki looked down and sighed.  “It was quite a reasonable thing to do when one is attacked first.”

      “I did not attack you first!”

     “You stormed in with nothing but violence in your tone. I had to defend myself.”

      “You have an excuse for everything.” Thor threw up his hands and fell onto the couch. Loki swore he heard some wood breaking. He wondered what would happen if the furniture gave way? Would they blame his brother, or would the blame go back to Loki as it always did?

     “I suppose I am more like your father than I wish to be.” Loki muttered looking away. As he turned his head, he noticed Tony exiting the elevator with a small smile. He frowned and gestured to the mortal to stay back. Tony stayed in the hallway and even held a hand out to stop Steve, who followed behind him, from going further. Loki gestured for the two to leave. He didn’t need them getting into this especially when Thor had yet to notice Loki’s distraction.

      “Our father,” Thor spoke, and Loki turned to him confused.

      “I beg your pardon?”

     “He’s our father.” The mortals were forgotten. Loki turned himself to look at Thor completely, the fool staring up at him like he had said the honest truth. It was laughable. It was insulting.

     “No.” Loki shook his head and stepped back. “He lied to me all my life. Told me I was meant to be king. Pitted us against each other for what? An outcome he had already decided long ago.”

     “Loki-”

      “Don’t you dare speak as if you weren’t always going to be the choice! We all knew it even before he spoke it! He always favored you!”

      “And you were jealous.”

      If he did not have an audience, Loki would have punched his brother right in his beautiful face. Jealous? JEALOUS? Was everything he ever felt going to be boiled down into such a disgusting emotion? He thought they were passed this. He thought his brother and him were coming to an understanding but now he saw he was wrong. Nothing changed. Nothing ever did!

      “This is more than mere jealousy,” Loki lowly snarled. “I’m a frost giant, taught to hate his own kind. Who took pleasure in hearing stories of his own people being slaughtered. You hear Asgardians speak of their hatred of the Jotuns. So, it made sense why he always favored you.”

      Thor paused and appeared distraught. Was he starting to see through the lies of their father? Was he starting to understand the gravity of the situation? Could he feel what Loki was feeling? No. He never would. He would never understand what it was like to be lost in the shadows for his entire life. He would never understand the feeling of shame brought to him every day because he was different. 

      “Brother, father raised you. He did not care what you were.”

     “Really? Because I believe it was all he cared about,” Loki scoffed with a cruel smile. “He took me to use me. He covered me in a lie because he couldn’t stand the sight of the truth. Then he compared us regularly as if I ever had a chance to gain his approval. No matter how many times he claimed to love me, he could never consider a frost giant worthy of such.”

     “That’s… Not right.” Thor was struggling but he was still holding on to that disgusting blind faith. He shook his head. “Father only-”

     “HE’S NOT MY FATHER!”

     “That’s enough, Thor.” Steve rushed to Loki’s side and grabbed his arm. However, Loki barely registered the mortal as he continued to glare at his brother. The mortal sighed. “I think this conversation has gone long enough.”

      “Rogers this is not your place.” Thor lifted himself from the couch and Loki swore he saw sparks in his eyes.

      “Well, I’m making it my place.” Steve shook Loki’s arm a little to gain the god’s attention. He gestured to the elevator and Loki could only dumbly nod. He didn’t expect to be rescued. He didn’t need rescuing. He was just arguing. He didn’t need to be pulled away, but he wanted to be. He wanted to be anywhere but there. So, he followed Steve. Thor, of course, followed them but when he reached the elevator, Tony put a hand on the thunderer’s chest.

     “I know this is hard for you but-” Tony allowed Loki and Steve to go past him into the elevator but held strong in front of it. Loki didn’t know what to say. Tony was too weak to even think of holding back Thor. Why were they doing this? This didn’t benefit them in the slightest. They could easily get defeated by his brother. Yet, Tony still stood there as if he, a mere mortal, could even hope to protect a god from another. “Give your brother some space.”

      Tony then turned to enter the elevator with the other two when he was stopped. Thor had grabbed his arm and turned him around. For a brief second, Loki saw the man wince a little in pain. The doors of the elevator were closing. Quickly he pushed the button to keep it open. Steve turned to him worriedly.

      “That is not your place either, Stark.” Thor glared at the billionaire murderously. “You heed my word. Stay away from my brother.”

      “Wow.” Tony ripped his arm from Thor’s grasps. He must not have been held as roughly as Loki had feared. And, of course, Tony had no sense of self-preservation because there wasn’t an ounce of respect in his tone. “Do you hear yourself?”

      Steve pressed the button to hurry the closing of the doors. The trickster turned to him in shock. If the doors closed, Tony wouldn’t be able to escape Thor. Didn’t Steve notice his brother’s ire? Did he not fear for Tony’s life?

      “It is not wise to leave them alone together.” Loki said pressing the button to stop the doors from closing again. Steve sighed heavily. He gestured to the two beyond them still arguing. However, it seemed like they were no longer raising their voices. Instead, they were speaking to each other in a falsely calm manner that was riddled with tension.

      “Don’t worry.” Steve pressed the button to close the doors again. “Tony can handle himself. Besides, I think it is best you both have some time apart. Just to cool down.”

      Loki supposed Tony could very well handle himself. He was able to hold his brother back before. Of course, Thor was holding back as well. Steve was the leader of the Avengers. Shouldn’t he make sure things didn’t go out of hand? Unless, Steve was being opportunistic. Loki let out an amused huff. He never would have pegged the captain as someone that would take advantage of others’ distractions, but he seemed to be learning something new about each member every day.

      But this was Steve. He probably didn’t want to keep Loki there because things were more likely to escalate in his presence. He did say that the two of them should be separated to calm down. He probably, also, trusted Thor enough to not worry for Tony’s life. It was probably innocent but that didn’t mean Loki wouldn’t tease him about it.

      “Or this is a very convenient excuse to get me to spend time with you.” Loki’s suggestion brought a bright red blush to Steve’s face. How delightful. “Where are we going, my captain? Your room?”

      “Only if you want to.” It was barely said. It was like Steve lost courage immediately before the words left his mouth.Loki smiled impishly. What would Steve do if he accepted? Did he even have a plan for that at least? The trickster decided to find out. 

      “I do.”


	25. Heimdall's Favorite Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki have a date but Loki can't keep his thoughts from wandering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote this chapter prior but lost all that progress because I am a fool and thought auto save would save me. Auto save did not have my back. Sorry it took so long. Good news is that it is a long chapter but I didn't read over it. So, there may be mistakes.

     From the moment he entered Steve’s room, Loki knew one thing: Thor could take lessons from the man on interior decorating. The room wasn’t the most amazing place he had ever seen but it was certainly different from the plain walls and the occasional change of paint, he had seen in the rooms prior. The walls were adorned with a beige colored damask wall paper. The design was quite nice despite the drab color choice. There were pictures and posters on every wall. Some pictures were in black and white, one was a colored poster with an American flag and soldiers holding it up, and one near the bedside table was simply a handwritten document framed. Loki wasn’t sure what the significance of that was, but he supposed Steve had reason to frame it.

     His bed wasn’t as impressive or as large as Thor’s. But what could compete with a bed made for a soon to be king? It was the only thing really lacking in the room with its bleak gray sheets and frame made of old metal. Time had not been kind to it. Beyond the bed towards the entrance way was a charming, ornate fireplace with two candles on either side on the mantle. A strange black and white picture of the country side was above it all. Loki would have chosen a lovely painting instead. The room did need a bit more vibrant color. There was too much neutral.

      Nearby the fireplace was an odd little dresser around the size of a side table. At least, it seemed like it was a dresser. Loki couldn’t see any drawers on it but in the center was little knobs that one could turn. Above it was a strange circular disc incased in glass. Directly next to it was a wooden box filled with square envelopes? Loki looked closer. Were they pictures? No, they definitely had something inside.

      The door closed behind him and he heard Steve mutter some apology about the room being a mess. He took some books from his side table and placed them into the large bookshelf opposite of the dresser. In there were books about wars and history. There was one book about science, but the majority was about current events or events past. Beside the bookshelf was a small desk covered in paper. Above it, were sketches Steve had drawn. One was of Loki and another was some woman the trickster didn’t recognize. Did Steve have a lover he didn’t know about?

      Looking down at the desk, he noticed a file. Steve was busy tidying up, so he could just peak into the file a little. One little peak wasn’t going to hurt anyone. It was a black and white photo of the same woman that was drawn above. Her name was there too: Peggy Ca-

     The file was closed by Steve, who then took it from him and placed it into his bookshelf with an apologetic smile. Sensitive subject maybe? The photo had looked rather old. He hadn’t a chance to see her information, but he could guess she was born around the same time Steve was. Which would mean, as an average human, she was either already dead or nearing her death as an old woman. _He must have loved her dearly._

     “Your room is actually very lovely,” Loki commented unsure of what else to say.

     “Thank you.” Steve straightened up and wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. He looked around the room trying to spot anything untidy. He already straightened the papers on his desk and removed books from where they had been. Now Loki could see there was also a laptop on the desk. He didn’t even know Steve could use technology like that. “Tony hates the wallpaper. He thinks it looks like a grandmother’s den.”

     “I think it is elegant.”

     “Thank you,” Steve said again looking far too conscious of his own words. Did Steve think saying thank you again was a problem? Did that make him embarrassed? Why? Loki didn’t care if he responded the same way twice. He smiled a little. Humans worried about the silliest things.

      “Does Thor always do that? I mean, I noticed he was pretty intense back there.” Steve switched to a subject Loki didn’t want to address.

      He thought they were over that. He thought he had thrown that argument far into the back of his mind, but the moment Steve mentioned it, anger hit him again. He couldn’t get over how moments ago, his brother was so blindly faithful to his father. As if Odin had done no wrong his entire life. Loki would laugh if he didn’t feel like Steve would think him mad for doing so. Odin stole him from his homeland as a child. Took him with ulterior motives. Yet, Thor wanted him to be grateful and act like they were alright. That they were family and no wrong had happened.

      But Steve intervened before it got worse. He also intervened before it got better. When in an argument, sometimes things got heated but it was better that way. It was better to get everything out in the open especially for them. Talking was never really their family’s strong suit. Sometimes shouting and fighting were the only ways to get your feelings out. But what did a mortal think about that?

      It must not be thought of positively given the grave expression on Steve’s face. Humans communicated very often. Never had Loki had to talk so much about his feelings than when he was on Midgard. It was all any human wanted to talk about. Perhaps because of their dreadfully short lives, humans had to open up more. Things still remained hidden. Even humans kept things to themselves, but they didn’t have the patience that Loki perfected.

     They couldn’t go years without arguing or standing up for themselves. They couldn’t hold their tongue for centuries pretending everything was alright. They were mayflies that lived under the thought that they should say what they needed to say before it was too late. Time was precious to humans. As precious as words were to Loki. Words he kept in his heart.

    He should say something. Steve was looking at him expectantly and his silence was doing nothing to ease the mortal’s mind.  Loki tried to give him a reassuring smile. He was good at forcing a smile. Practically and expert at it and yet, Steve didn’t lose the tension in his shoulders. He just gave his attention to him as the prince spoke.

      “My brother does indeed have a temper but that wasn’t even the worst of it.”

     “Believe me. I know.” He did? Loki distantly wondered if Steve and Thor had had an argument before. It was hard to imagine that things would get heated. Even when Steve argued with Tony before, it only sounded like he was having a tense conversation. He was too calm to get into a real argument like Loki had earlier. “I’ve seen how he’s treated you. Dragging you around and ordering you around. It’s not right.”

      “Thank you for your concern but that is simply how Thor has always behaved.” Loki shrugged. There was no other way to explain it. Thor was Thor and to ask him to change would be like asking the sun not to rise. No matter how much you beg, the sun will come up regardless. One cannot change the natural order of things. Loki knew this better than anyone. So, if the second part came out a little bitter, he could not be blamed. “I’m the second prince. Who am I to go against he who will be king?”

     “See that doesn’t sit well with me.”

     “Different cultures I suppose.”

      “I don’t think anyone should feel inferior regardless of the culture.”

     “I’m used to it.”

     “You shouldn’t be.”

     Loki shouldn’t be a lot of things yet here he was. If things went the way they should have, he wouldn’t even be here. He should have died in Jotunheim. That was his fate and Odin robbed him of that.  Loki wondered if that truly would have been his fate. Would he have survived if Odin had never found him? He was told that his real family had left him to die, but was that true? Should he believe anything his not father told him? Perhaps, he should have been with his real family. Perhaps he wasn’t left to die, and it was some weird Frost Giant test of strength or something equally absurd. Loki didn’t know about Frost Giant culture and he doubted Asgard gave an objective opinion about their ways. Wasn’t like he could ask his real father given that he killed him.

     He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it.  Looking around, he tried to find something to distract him from his thoughts. He looked back at the strange dresser and pointed at it.

     “What’s this?” Loki hoped Steve would allow this change of topic.

     “A record player,” Steven spoke as if Loki would have a clue to what that meant. He hadn’t been on Midgard long enough to come across such a device, but he wasn’t going to let the mortal know that. Steve moved and opened the glass case to show a needle attached to a long black arm. He looked to the box of picture envelopes and picked one. Pulling out a flat, black circle with a hole in it, he looked at Loki to see if he understood. He did not. Loki had no idea what Steve was holding in his hand, but he feigned knowledge. He nodded and pretended he understood exactly what Steve was pointing at. Placing the disk on the circular platform, Steve moved the needle with his other hand. What was he doing? The mortal turned one of the knobs and music began to play.

     Loki couldn’t help his eyes widening in surprise. It played music! Before the mortal could turn around, Loki quickly got a hold of himself. No need to show the man his surprise. He smiled softly at the mortal and listened to the music. It was rather nice. Steve smiled back and sighed. He turned off the device. Why did he stop the music? It was much better than most of the noise that Midgardians listened to.

      “I know it’s ancient. I’m ancient.” Steve shrugged and looked away from Loki a little.

      “Steven, I’m over a thousand years old. You aren’t the least bit ancient to me.”

     “That’s a big gap.”

     It was at that moment that Loki could see the man truly understand the difference between them. Steve was unusual because he was still so young, yet his actual age would say otherwise. Humans usually only lived up to one hundred years and Steve was somewhere in the 90s. However, it was nothing compared to Loki’s age. Steve may live past more than one century, but Loki had lived many and will live many more. Humans lives were nothing in comparison to theirs. What was a hundred years to one who lived thousands? It was a breath or a blink. It’s why a being that lived as old as Loki shouldn’t care much about mortals. Shouldn’t get attached. There was no point in it.

     Yet Thor didn’t care for such things. He had run after his mortal woman foolishly. What did he think would happen if he stayed with her? Was he imagining that he could live his life with her? As if she somehow was going to find the secret to extending her life? He never would have been able to stay with her. She would expire way before he even knew it and he would never have been ready. It was good she and him were over. It was better for both of them. In fact, it made Loki feel much better just thinking about it. Perhaps a piece of him worried for his brother. It certainly wasn’t because he felt any jealousy towards her. Jealousy? Over what? Loki gulped. Why was he thinking about that?

     His stomach interrupted his thoughts. It growled loudly causing Loki’s cheeks to heat up immediately. Steve had to have heard that. How humiliating! Yes, he was hungry. He missed lunch but did his stomach have to announce itself so noisily? He cleared his throat in an effort to distract from what had just happened.

      “Have you eaten yet, Steven?”

      “No.” Steve looked like he wanted to say something more but was debating with himself. Finally, he spoke again. “Would you like to join me for dinner?”

     “I thought you’d never ask.”

     Loki knew what ‘join me for dinner’ meant. In one of the few movies he forced himself to watch, prior to his brother’s abysmal collection, he had seen a woman asked the exact same question. Apparently, it meant the man was going to take him to a fancy restaurant. Loki couldn’t wait. It had been so long since he had fine wine and a decent meal. But Steve didn’t invite him to leave with him. Instead, he asked him to stay behind in his room and wait a bit.

     Loki stood in the room confused. Wait a bit? Wait for what? Did Steve have to find some attire to wear at the restaurant? Loki recalled the woman was worried about being underdressed. Did he not have proper attire in his own closet? Loki looked down at his clothing. Tony made sure to get him the finest suits, so there was no problem on his end. Even now he was wearing a suit that probably costed more than every item in the captain’s room.

     So, did that mean Steve left him to go shopping? That would be absurd, wouldn’t it? In fact, Loki wasn’t even sure they should be going out to eat with the potion being active. It wasn’t like a few more admirers would ruin his plans. To be honest, Loki wasn’t sure what his plans were anymore. The more time he spent at the tower the less he thought about making the most out of the potion. After today, he had only six days remaining.

     So little time remaining and what had he even gained from it? He was certain that Tony was still working on the weapon, but would he be done in time? Loki wondered if he had to give him more encouragement to speed things up. Even if Tony did finish the weapon, then what? Loki sighed heavily. His previous plans weren’t as appealing to him anymore. He could go back to Asgard and seduce every single man and use them to take over the throne. He didn’t even need to do that did he? If it affected all Asgardians, then that meant Odin would happily give him the throne.

     But the thought of the man he once believed to be his father giving him a look of desire, almost made Loki want to vomit. It was probably because despite the man not being his true father, he raised him and was the only father Loki ever knew. Somewhere in his heart, he still saw him as family. His brother would probably be pleased to know that, but Loki wasn’t the least bit interested in admitting such a thing.  

      Thinking of his brother made Loki pause. He was disgusted by the idea of his father being affected but when he thought about Thor, he didn’t feel that way at all. Why? He and Thor were raised together as brothers. There was no difference between being raised by or with someone. Why didn’t the thought of Thor’s desire cause him to become ill?

     Maybe because Thor was young and handsome where his father wasn’t. Objectively, his brother was handsome. Everyone said he was. It was normal to notice. The again, perhaps it wasn't normal that he suddenly was remembering his brother stripping his clothes off to shower earlier that day. It probably wasn’t normal to think about his brother’s bare chest and strong arms during that time. Or about when he had gotten a very small glimpse of his brother’s bare, perky behind as he had walked into the bathroom. Loki shook his head furiously. Why was he thinking of things like that? Was something wrong with him?

     “It’s nothing fancy but I got some wine.” Steve pushed open the door taking Loki by surprise. He didn’t change. Where had he been all this time? Peering down, Loki noticed the man was holding a bottle of wine and two glasses. What was going on? “And the Italian place nearby delivers meals instead of just pizza. Spaghetti sound good?”

     Loki felt his cheeks grow red and was suddenly thankful that no one in the tower had mind reading capabilities. If Steve knew what he had just been imagining prior to his entrance. Loki took a breath and noticed the mortal was staring at him worriedly.

     What was he talking about? Food?  Loki was a bit confused. Weren’t they going out to eat? Was that not what people meant when they asked one to join them? Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps it just meant as it sounded, having dinner together. Curse that weird movie he watched for getting his hopes up. Curse that woman who ended up choosing the more alluring but less sensible choice.

     Steve was still looking at him silently. He was either very patient or Loki was having an array of different expressions that was keeping him entertained. Steve was in fact looking less worried now and more confused. The prince cleared his throat awkwardly.

      “Sounds sufficiently fancy,” Loki lied easily. He really wanted to go to a fancy restaurant, but he supposed this would have to suffice. It was better than anything Thor would have pressured him eat. “Where did you obtain such wine?”

     “I got it from the bar. Tony won’t miss it. He has a bunch of these.”

     “I never thought you the type to steal, my captain.” Loki smiled impishly.

     “Hey.” Steve looked slightly offended but smiled in return. “It’s not stealing. Tony said the bar was for all of us.”

     “Indeed.”

     Steve cleaned off his desk, placing the laptop on the floor. He pulled the chair away, setting the bottle and wine glasses on it before pulling the desk towards Loki and the bed. So, it was going to be a similar seating arrangement like how he has meals in his brother’s room. Loki grabbed the wine and glasses and placed them on the table after Steve was finished.

     This was red wine. Red wine did go well with spaghetti, at least that was what the waiter had informed him the last time he dined Italian. Loki may be in hiding most of the time when he was on Midgard but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the finer things in life. If he recalled red wine wasn’t supposed to be served at room temperature. It was a misconception that it should be served as such but the real way to have red wine was to slightly cool it. Of course, he didn’t expect Steve to know such things. So, he probably would have to cool it down himself. There was no problem in that. After all, Loki was a frost giant. Just a slight touch not too cold. He wasn’t trying to chill it.

     “Sorry, the atmosphere isn’t that great.” Steve pulled the chair over to the other side of the table appearing a bit uncertain.

     “I could change that. Give me a moment.”

     With a small motion of his hand, Loki pulled a towel from Steve’s bathroom and transformed it into a table cloth. Another motion brought the two candles from the fireplace on to the center of the table. A look and they were lit. He arranged the glasses to either side of the table and opened the bottle. The lights were dimmed, and two sheets of paper were transformed into cloth napkins. Loki pulled out the chair and sat down satisfied.

     “Wow.” Steve fell back onto the bed staring at the arrangement in shock.

     “Some music?” Loki snapped, and the record player began to play.

     “Wow, this is-”

     “Fancy?”

     “Well, that’s one word for it.”

      Loki watched the man’s face closely. The candle light was doing wonders for him. He looked almost like a god himself in the soft candle light. He couldn’t deny that Steve truly was a thing of beauty. If he had been Asgardian and had tried to court the prince, Loki was sure he wouldn’t be able to refuse. Then again, Steve truly couldn’t compare to the glory and beauty that was Thor. Thor’s beauty was one no Midgardian could ever dream to recreate. Loki paused. Why was this going back to Thor? Why did it always go back to him?

     “Mr. Rogers there is a man trying to gain access to this floor.” Jarvis’s voice saved the prince from having to think about anything too deeply.

     “Um, does he have food?” Steve rose from the bed, looking up at the ceiling like most did when speaking to Jarvis. It was so unnerving not to know where to look when speaking to the voice.

      “It appears so.”

      “Let him in.” Steve turned to look at Loki and nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

       Loki really wished he wouldn’t leave him alone at this time. Not when he was thinking such disturbing things. He needed a distraction. Something that would take him away from thinking of his brother in an unbrotherly manner.

       It must have been the potion. All this affection being thrown at him must have made him crave it from everyone. He did like Bruce’s adoring looks, flirting with Clint and even teasing Tony. The faces one Tony Stark made when Loki practically dangled himself in front of him was exquisite even if he got too handsy. Steve’s shy smile and awkwardness was endearing too. And Fandral... Loki closed his eyes as he thought of the man he once loved more than anything. It was so nice to hear such sweet words from him. Loki touched his chest thinking that his heart would race at the thought of such a beautiful man kissing his hand and yet, his heart remained steady. But with one thought to Thor doing the exact same action caused his heart to beat faster. What was happening to him?

      Thor was his brother. Though he denied it many times and tried to get Thor to view him as different, Thor was right! He hated to admit it, but it was true. They were raised together. They played together. No, this wasn’t what Loki feared it to be. He simply was excited for a challenge. After all, Thor was the only one of his admirers that denied his feelings. His heart beat quickened merely because he was anticipating his brother’s inevitable fall. That’s all it was. Right?

     “Dinner is here.”

     Loki breathed out in relief the moment Steve reentered the room. He needed a distraction. Anything to get him away from those thoughts.

     Those terrible thoughts.

     Both orders of spaghetti were individually encased in a metallic looking dish. Steve bent the edges easily and removed its plastic covering. He then reached in a bag and pulled out plastic utensils. This wasn’t exactly the fanciest of meals but at least the wine tasted fine. The pasta wasn’t bad either and Steve was doing his best to keep Loki’s attentions with stories of recent missions. Ones that didn’t involve Loki of course.

      They were in the middle of discussing Doom’s mannerisms in battle when Steve paused. He suddenly had a far-off look as if he was remembering something. Loki could see the slight sadness in his eyes as he smiled slightly.

     “Sorry, this music makes me a little nostalgic.” Steve looked down and twirled some of the pasta on his fork, but he didn’t bring it up to his mouth. Loki figured he must have had a sad memory or one filled with someone he lost. Perhaps that woman in the file?

      Steve Rogers was a man lost in time. He came from an era few were alive to talk about. It intrigued Loki because despite it being a short amount of time to him, to mortals, Steve had grown up a life time ago. All the people he knew back then were gone or on their way to becoming that way. It must have been lonely being the only person to remember a past he shared with no one. Seeing the subtle sadness in the mortal’s eyes, caused Loki to wonder how he would have felt in such a situation. What would it be like to one day wake up and understand nothing of the new world that greeted him. Being alone and lost at the same time.

     “Must be hard adjusting to a different time,” Loki found himself saying. “Knowing how much you have missed.”

     “It must be hard for you too.” Steve’s lovely blue eyes met Loki’s. “I mean you come from a different world. Not only that but it seems like you guys operate more like centuries before us.”

     He was true about that. Asgard did seem to function in an unusual way when observing from a Midgardian point of view. Some things were seen as outdated and antiquated. However, there was also technology and a rich understanding in Asgard that were millennia ahead. This mixture of what Midgard would deem ancient and what they would be seen as advanced was how Asgard had run since the time of his birth. And possibly many centuries or millennia before.

     “What is the Midgardian saying?” Loki asked with a shrug.  “If it is not broken why must you fix it?”

     “Close,” Steve chuckled. “But modern-day Earth still has to be confusing for you as well.”

     “It is. I still haven’t adjusted to everything, but you understand that more than anyone don’t you?”

     “Yeah, I do.”

     The sadness didn’t leave the man’s eyes. Loki could see he was probably still thinking about all the things he had lost. Sighing, Loki reached out and touched Steve’s hand to get his attention. He wasn’t good at this. He didn’t know how to make someone feel better. It was easier for him to make things worse. It was safer to goad on someone and cause them anger.

     “Perhaps we can be lost together.” Loki smiled a little hoping to soothe him. He should have known one touch from him would cause the mortal’s face to redden so distinctly the dim light could not dream of hiding it. Not quite the response Loki was hoping for, but it was better than the sadness the man was exhibiting earlier. Also, Steve looked simply adorable when he gulped and smiled shyly.

     The music stopped causing the prince to look back at the record player. Did it break? What an odd time to fail to function. Steve mumbled something about switching to the B-side. He slid his hand back to himself and rose from the table. Loki was confused. What was a B-side? He watched the man approach the device and lift the arm. He picked up the record and flipped it over. Placing the needle back upon it, he turned a knob and new music began to play.

     Loki was amazed. The item could produce sound on two sides out of what? When he had looked at the disk, it didn’t seem to have anything but weird rings. Somehow the needle touching the ring produced a sound. This was something considered antiquated on Midgard. These were old ways but to Loki they were completely new. He was learning a lot about modern Midgardian ways, but the time spent with Steve had made him curious about the ways of the past.

     “Tell me about that time,” Loki spoke as Steve sat back in front of him. “Before you were frozen.”

     There were so many things about Steve he never knew. Clint only briefed him about what he needed to know about the Avengers. Nothing more and nothing less. Loki knew Steve was a super soldier. He knew he was chosen for the program and fought in a war. He did not know that Steve was quite weak in his youth. He didn’t know that Howard Stark, Tony’s father, knew him. Or that they were friends. Clint never told him about that, but Loki couldn’t blame him. What did it matter if Steve knew Tony’s father? What advantage would knowing such a detail give him?

     As Steve told him stories of him growing up with Bucky, the friend he lost during the war, Loki couldn’t help but smile. Steve in his youth would have been a handful to deal with.  He apparently was just as brave as he was now. The only problem was in the past, he was weaker than the average Midgardian man. Bucky worried about him constantly. A fact that Steve remembered with a sad smile.  

     Then came the subject of one Peggy Carter. Loki could tell he had feelings for the woman. It was evident in the way he spoke of her with such reverence as if she was the most remarkable woman to ever step foot on Earth. Perhaps she was. Loki couldn’t deny the way Steve explained her made him a little intrigued.

     “I never did get that dance,” Steve mentioned with a sigh.

     “A shame.” Loki wasn’t teasing. How could he when the man looked so sad? As much as others would love to believe, Loki wasn’t completely heartless. He took one last sip of his wine and pushed the chair back to stand. “I am sufficiently full.”

     “You are leaving?”

     “No.” Loki wasn’t sure what he was doing. Whether Steve felt bad or not wasn’t really his problem. It wasn’t like they were friends. Loki only agreed to dinner because he was practically starving. Nothing more, nothing less. And yet, he moved towards the side of the bed Steve was currently sitting on and reached out a hand. “I am not the one that was waiting for you, but may I have this dance?”

     “You don’t need to be her,” Steve responded meekly, redness returning to his face. “I’m not good at dancing.”

     “Do not worry yourself over that.” Loki grabbed his arm and gently pulled him up. Steve made a small squeak in response and the prince couldn’t help but be amused by it. Did he intend to make that noise? Loki wrapped an arm around his waist causing Steve to have no more objections. “I only know, what you would consider, older ways of dancing. Let us be lost together, my captain.”

     Loki led because he had more experience in dancing. Whenever there was a ball or gala, Loki was always the one dancing with snobby diplomats that Thor had refused. Usually women were content to drool over his brother without begging for a dance but once in a while, an unruly princess or noble lady would demand a dance with the prince. Thor would then toss them off to Loki, who had to salvage the situation by calming her down and dancing with her. It was good for diplomacy to dance at least once. Thor never saw it as a way to build bridges and only cared about what he wanted to do, which always use to irritate Loki. Most of the time Loki had to smooth things over with the other realms. He always had to make excuses and apologies for his brother. The women never blamed Thor and neither did the few men brave enough to ask. Many deals were struck on the dance floor, Loki lying expertly that Thor had intended such things to happen. After all, if Thor was to be king, he couldn’t have the nine realms angry at him for refusing to dance or speak on diplomatic matters. The younger prince was to thank for all of that despite Thor being the one praised for them when they returned home.

     Loki had always thought despite his lying to the other diplomats that Thor had the idea, that his father would see that he was the one fixing all of Thor’s mistakes. Sometimes, his father was present, and Loki could see that Odin was watching him cover up his brother’s rudeness. Yet, even after those functions, the king had nothing but praise for Thor. It was true his brother’s heroism and stories drew crowds. It was true that many of the diplomats admired him because of it but all of that could have easily been tossed out the window if they had felt spurned. Loki did his best as well to make sure things worked out and what praise did he receive? Odin would mention as a side note to his many praises of his true son that Loki did well to make things go smoothly. That’s all he got. A small mention. An afterthought. A special thanks after the credits.

     Perhaps Thor didn’t dance because he couldn’t. Steve, also, mentioned that he wasn’t good at dancing and yet there they were making it work despite the lack of room and skill. Steve wasn’t even that bad at it which made Loki wondered what it would be like to dance with his brother. Would his brother want to lead? It would be ridiculous to think Thor with his lack of experience would lead well but knowing his brother’s arrogance, he probably would demand to do so.  He’d probably wrap his arm around Loki’s small waist perfectly. He could hold him strong against him. Would they have to be that close? Probably not but for some reason Loki couldn’t imagine it any other way. Then they would try to dance together but knowing his brother, it would probably end in failure. Most likely he would promptly assault Loki’s feet instead of dancing. The prince smiled at the thought.

     “Am I interrupting something?” A woman’s voice caused the two to stop moving. “I need to talk to Rogers about something important.”

     Romanov stood in the doorway looking between them curiously. Loki had almost forgotten what was happening. He was too lost in thought to realize how strange this must have looked. It didn’t matter how it looked. What was wrong with a little dancing? Loki looked at Steve, who was way closer than he remembered when they began. Was Steve’s hand on his waist? When did that happen?

     “Sure, just give us a minute,” Steve said not even attempting to detach from holding the prince.

     “Fury wants you to know something.” She looked at Steve in a way that said so much more than words. It was as if there was some very serious matter they needed to discuss that simply couldn’t wait. This intrigued Loki. He would love to know what they wanted to speak about.

     “Sorry, Loki. Duty calls.”

     “It was a lovely night,” Loki admitted as he moved away from Steve. He let go of his enchantments and the fire of the candles died out, the table cloth returned to a towel and the lights went back to its uncomfortable brightness.

     “That it was.” Steve walked him to the door all while Romanov watched them closely. When Loki left the room, she closed the door quickly. He didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. It was shut right in front of his face. _Rude._

      Loki didn’t need to be told that he wasn’t wanted anymore. It was late anyway and despite him being curious about their conversation, he would rather sleep.

      But Thor was most likely in the room.

     Loki thought back to their argument. He wouldn’t still be upset, would he? Even if he was, what did it matter? Where else was Loki going to sleep?

     Taking a deep breath, Loki entered the elevator and pushed the button to Thor’s floor. He would just enter the room, change his clothes and go to bed. There shouldn’t be any problems if he did just that. All he had to do was ignore his brother and go to sleep.

      There shouldn’t be any problems then, right?


	26. Trapped in the Elevator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gives Loki space and Natasha traps Loki to talk about feelings.

      This wasn’t right. Something definitely was wrong. The broken clock that had been tossed to the floor was gone. Any trace of its existence was wiped from the room. There were no clothes tossed to the ground as Thor would usually do. In fact, the room was much tidier. The towels were no longer thrown to the floor. Loki remembered that his brother had taken a shower earlier today. There should have been shampoo bottles in the tub, a towel on the floor and an untidy sink (usually with Thor’s beard trimmings taking over it). It was always a disgusting sight but now it was all gone, and Loki hadn’t been the one to clean it. He admitted that he would frequently nag his brother over how dirty he kept his space, but usually the thunderer never listened.

      Thor sighed sadly as he laid on top of a perfectly made bed completely dressed.  His shoes were even still on but at least he was dangling them off the bed. Loki looked at his back, which was turned towards him. Did Thor suddenly learn to clean? What exactly happened during his conversation with Tony? Another sigh but this time it was louder.

      Loki knew what was happening. This was something Thor hadn’t done in centuries. Something he had done when he was very much younger and much more child-like. There was only one reason Thor was lying on the bed looking like he had been banished from Asgard again, he wanted attention. It was the only reason Loki could think of. Why else would he clean the room to Loki’s standards? Why else would he be sighing so comically loud?

      When they were children and Thor knew he was in the wrong, he always did this. He always did his best to make Loki pity him in order to make him initiate a conversation with him. Usually because Loki, in his youth, would refuse to speak to Thor when he was angry at him. Back then, he wasn’t afraid to show his discontent. He wasn’t afraid to yell back at his brother and run away from him.

       It was a silly routine they had when they fought. It was something they grew out of doing when they became men. When Thor became a person, who believed he could do no wrong. When Loki was slighted by him, he easily blamed Loki for it rather than looking within. That was the Thor Loki knew now and no amount of sighing was going to change that. Besides, it wouldn’t work this time. Loki was older, wiser and there was no way such a childish tactic would work on him.

     At that moment, Thor let out the most exaggerated sigh Loki had ever heard.

      “Do you wish to say something to me, brother?” If it came out like a growl, Loki couldn’t be blamed for it. The exaggerated sighs his brother was doing was not only childish but irritating. Folding his arms over his chest, Loki glared at Thor’s back. “Or are you going to mope around like some child that has been disciplined by their father?”

     “Brother, speak the truth.” Thor turned around to face Loki, careful not to get his shoes on the bed. “Am I not giving you enough space?”

      That was what this was about? He was moping around like an idiot because he was worried about that? Wasn’t it obvious what the answer was? Did he think Loki was happy with his constant surveillance and dragging him around? The younger prince was sure he had made it clear he disliked his movie choices and constant presence. Did Thor really have that little self-awareness? _Of course, he does._ Loki thought bitterly. _He always does._

      So, how was he supposed to deal with this? Tony obviously said some words that really stung. There was no other explanation. Loki was curious what exactly the billionaire had said. Seeing his brother’s pleading look did give him a few guesses. Something probably along the line of _“You’re making your brother hate you by being so overbearing.”_  It must have been a long conversation because his brother was stubborn and wouldn’t have believed the man at first. Whatever it was, it clearly affected Thor. He sighed.

     “Of course, you are, dear brother!” Loki couldn’t help but cheerily lie. It was aggravating to think that yet again another mortal had to be the one to change Thor’s ways. Never Loki. Loki’s opinion simply wasn’t as important as these short-lived, weak creatures. It was insulting. “Why I fear sharing a bed with you and having you follow my every move is frankly too much space! Perhaps I should reopen the door to the toilet so that when I relieve myself, I am no longer cursed to suffer your absence. I grow so lonely without your presence. I long to be cemented by your side and held close at every waking moment.”

      “That’s enough.” Thor pouted childishly and rolled back over. “I understand. I will grant you more space. Perhaps you desire your own room.”

     “No!” Loki shouted, a little too loud and a little too quickly. Thor turned to look at him again. The younger prince could feel his cheeks burning. He cleared his throat. “No, I have gotten use to the bed.”

      That was the end of their conversation, and Loki went back to preparing to sleep. Thor didn’t sigh exaggeratedly anymore, but he still looked like someone had stolen his hammer. But Mjolnir was proudly leaning against the bed, so he knew it wasn’t about that. They were silent. Except for Loki kicking Thor’s leg and telling him to remove his shoes, nothing else was said.

      Loki was so conscious of his brother lying next to him. He was also very conscious of the clothes his brother had yet to take off. This wasn’t like him. Usually he complained about having to keep even his underwear on. Of course, Loki made sure he never took them off. That would make sleeping beside him awkward if he were to allow it. Then again, it wasn’t anything Loki hadn’t seen before.

      Thor was never ashamed of his body and why would he be. His body was like a statue in Midgardian museums, each detail perfectly sculpted. As soon as Loki realized where his mind had begun to wander, he tried desperately to think of something else. Why was this happening to him? Why did his mind keep showing him very alluring images of his brother? Why did he find them so alluring in the first place?

      It took him a while to fall asleep. In the morning, when he awoke, he wondered if Thor had any difficulty. After all, he was the one moping around last night. However, when he turned to look towards his brother’s side of the bed he found him missing. The side of the bed was even made. Looking around he found no trace that his brother was even there. The room was still unnervingly clean.

      Loki tossed his pajamas to the floor as he got dressed. That was better.

      It didn’t take long for Loki to realize his brother was no longer in the tower. Not that he was looking for him. He just felt the need to do a little exploration early in the morning. Get some exercise and greet the sun. That sort of thing. Sure, he never did it before, but he had heard it did wonders for one’s health.

      As the doors to the elevator opened, Loki noticed Romanov standing in it looking unamused. He didn’t necessarily have to take the elevator. Stairs were good for one’s health as well. Besides for all the advancements and wonders of the tower, the elevators were disappointingly slow. Probably would be quicker to take the stairs.

      “I’m not going to bite you.” Romanov folded her arms over her chest looking a little insulted. Was mind reading her specialty? Loki had played with the thought before. She was simply too perceptive.

      “If it is what you desire, why should I deny you?” Loki teased as he entered the elevator cautiously.

      “Don’t make this elevator ride weird.”

      “Why not?”

      The doors closed, and they began to take them up. Loki had pressed the common floor’s number but that was three floors away. He noticed that Romanov had pressed the next floor from this one. That was good. At least, she would be gone in a moment. He didn’t hate her, but it wasn’t like they were friends. He just didn’t feel comfortable in her presence.

      When the elevator stopped at her floor, she didn’t leave. Instead, she pressed the next floor above it. Did she press the wrong button prior? She could have remedied that earlier. Was she trying to trap him in here with her longer? Why?

      “Do you know where my brother is?” Loki might as well ask if he was going to be here longer.

      “Oh, he left,” she said casually as if it was nothing. “Said he needed some air.”

**THOR** needed air. **HIM**? Loki had to control himself from laughing out loud. There was no one in this tower trying to take his precious air from him. It wasn’t like Loki demanded his presence at all hours and dragged him around. It wasn’t Loki putting in those ridiculous movies and forcing him to watch it.

      Did he not wish to be in Loki’s company any longer? He could have at least told him. He didn’t have to destroy any trace of himself and leave the tower. Where did he go? To that woman? Maybe all the fighting made him realize he still loved her. Maybe he couldn’t wait to get into her weak, short living arms. He probably couldn’t even feel her arms around him because they were so weak! Was that it?! Did he get the next ticket to London and leave him here alone? Wasn’t he affected by the potion? Didn’t he love him?

      “There is a sufficient amount of air in the tower,” Loki responded bitterly still thinking of his brother in the arms of one Dr. Foster. Romanov turned her head towards Loki and squinted her eyes.

      “You know, I don’t get you.”

      “What’s to get?”

      “You push so many people away and for what?” She turned to him fully as the elevator stopped at the unwanted floor. “What are you afraid of? Real affection?”

      There was no such thing as real affection when it came to Loki. No person other than his mother had ever shown him that. Everything was a pretense. They cared for him because he was the son of Odin or they were influenced by a potion. Even his brother, sans the potion, only cared for him because that was what was forced upon him.  They were raised as brothers and he felt he had to love him. It had to be so. When Thor saw the truth, he would leave. He probably would see it after the potion had worn off. It was hard to consider one your brother when you have been lusting for them for two weeks.

      Real affection wasn’t anything to be afraid of. He just simply didn’t need it. It was true he enjoyed being admired and adored but he didn’t _need_ it to be without pretense. It didn’t matter to him if a potion created it or if they all feared him instead. He just wanted to be respected. He just wanted his accomplishments to be noticed. He didn’t need them to really love him to understand all that. It was simply unnecessary. _Afraid?_ Loki let out an amused huff.

      “Please, do not pretend you understand me.” Loki turned to look down the empty hallway presented to him.

      “I don’t pretend. I know I don’t get you, but I also know another thing.” She leaned forward and pressed the button to keep the doors open. Had she done that before? How long have they been standing in this elevator? “You aren’t half as terrible as you think you are.”

      “I beg your pardon?”

     “You saved Clint when you didn’t have to. You encouraged Bruce when it wasn’t even in your benefit. Hell, I saw you slow dancing with Steve and it was the happiest I have seen him in a long time. You care. You just don’t want to admit it.”

      “Do not dare assume that-”

      “I don’t have to assume. The evidence is there.” She put her hand up as if to stop him from speaking back. Did she really think that hand motion was going to silence him indefinitely? “Look I don’t pretend to know all your hang ups. I can see you are dealing with a lot of things, but I know you want to be happy, right?”

      “What caused you to believe that?”

      “Everyone wants to be happy. You included.”

       “Not everyone has a chance to be.”

       “You do. Here, in this tower.”

       The doors finally closed, and they began moving again. Loki turned from her completely. He had a chance to be happy here? The only reason anyone was tolerating him was because they were bewitched. If not, they would have kicked him out immediately.

      “The potion will fade,” Loki informed her.

      “Even when the potion fades, they will remember how you helped them. You can make this permanent.”

      “What permanent?”

      “You here. Working with us and not against us.” Did she really think that would work? If Loki turned around would he see her with hope in her eyes like his idiot brother whenever he spoke of going home? Loki thought she was the smart one when it came to things like that. How disappointing. “We could be friends. All us. You could belong here.”

     “Friends? Is that what you desire Romanov? Us to be **friends**?” Loki turned around and gave her a dangerous look. Like before, the woman didn’t even flinch.

     “Call me Nat and I know you are just trying to put up your shields. Trust me. I get it.”

     “Shields?”

     “You’re afraid.”

     “I beg your pardon?” Loki didn’t know what expression his face was showing. Perhaps something that was a mixture of angry, insulted and shocked. Either way, the agent’s face remained determined. Never affected by how Loki responded. The elevator stopped once again finally reaching its destination yet neither one exited.

     “I think I made myself pretty clear the first time I spoke.” She stepped closer, glaring up at him.

      “You want to believe that all would be forgiven if I join your little team? That somehow I’m going to be happier fighting for the good of Midgard and enjoy this _friendship_?”

     Such a thing would work for his brother. Thor loved aiding others. The more he helped the more praise he got. Whenever Loki helped people he was told they were better off without him or ignored completely. What would make Midgard different? Even if he joined them, it would all be the same. Nothing ever changed. Couldn’t she see that?

      “Don’t act like you wouldn’t enjoy our company. I see you smiling more than I have ever seen before,” Natasha asserted.

     “I smile quite often I believe.”

     “Not a true smile.”

     “And what do you know about my true smile?”

     “I’ve done enough lying and faking on my own to tell when someone is doing the same.” The neglected elevator shut its doors keeping them inside. “We could help each other. Yeah, some people will have a hard time forgiving you. But if you keep working for the good of others, they will come around in time.”

     Perhaps if he was more like his brother they would. No one blamed him for anything. At one point, Thor advocated for genocide of an entire race and yet, when he returned from his banishment all was forgotten. What good did he have to do? Loki couldn’t see what good his brother had done. Loki handled the Frost Giants that invaded, even if he was the reason they were there in the first place. He, also, was attacking Jotunheim for the good of all of Asgard. He knew no one in Asgard cared for them. When Thor wanted to kill them all, no one objected. So, him stopping Loki from wiping them out wasn’t actually a great good.

     Maybe his good was getting rid of the cuckoo in their nest.

     No, Thor didn’t have to do anything good. He was beloved. People didn’t have to be convinced of his greatness because there was no room to think otherwise. Even if their roles were reversed and Thor had been the one to turn the Bifrost against Jotunheim, Asgard would just make excuses for him. The golden son. The better son.

     Nothing Loki did would ever get anyone to think differently. It was simply how the universe worked. If there is a problem, it is Loki’s fault. Even if he had done nothing, he should have spoken up. Even if he was silenced, he should have done something. If he did something and it went wrong, he was the villain. If he had done something and it turned out right, he was never noticed for it. Midgard didn’t seem any different. Everyone swooned over his brother, as if he designed the sun and placed it into the heavens for them. No one cared about the dark corners where the sun never shone.

      But Romanov, _no, Natasha_ , believed that everything would be different. She believed that one could be forgiven no matter how many sins they did, no matter how cruel they had been, even if no one cared for them before. She had to with her background.

     “You believe that they will grant me forgiveness in the same manner they have to all that red in your ledger?”

      Natasha didn’t respond immediately. It was a sensitive subject, her past. It was the one thing Loki had been informed was her weakness and yet, it never did seem to work well against her. Last time he tried to use her past against her, she ended up tricking him but that didn’t mean she was unaffected. He could see it behind her poker face; the regret behind her eyes.

      “I can’t change the past. I can only work towards a better future,” she admitted with a less confident voice than before. Perhaps Loki had gone too far. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought up her past because he was upset. He shook his head. Why did he feel bad about it? He didn’t care about her! They weren’t friends. Looking back at Natasha, he saw she had recovered from the blow he had dealt. Gone was any trace of her regret as the confidence returned to her voice. “Look. I know we aren’t Asgard. I know I’m not offering you a throne. But can’t you be satisfied with the little bit of happiness you find here?”

     “Satisfaction is not in my nature.”

     “I don’t think you really know what your nature is.”

     The doors opened abruptly, revealing a very surprised and confused Bruce Banner. Loki and Natasha were turned facing each other and somehow during their conversation they had migrated closer together. It was probably an unconscious act meant to intimidate the other, but Bruce had no way of knowing the tense conversation they had earlier. All he knew was both objects of his affection were close to each other glaring into each other’s eyes.

     “Oh, hello,” he squeaked then swallowed hard. “Were you guys just standing in here?”

     “It’s alright, Bruce. We were just talking.” Natasha moved away first and approached the confused doctor. However, Bruce turned his gaze back to Loki.

     “Oh, is Thor not back?” Even Bruce knew his brother was gone and yet, the thunderer neglected to inform him? Him! His brother. The person he should be closest to in this tower! Loki couldn’t help but frown at the thought.

      “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

     “Thor. He asked me about bookstores nearby,” Bruce explained. “He hasn’t come back yet?”

     There was absolutely no reason Thor had to be at a bookstore. The god probably didn’t even know what to do in a bookstore. He wasn’t the most studious of individuals. In fact, Loki couldn’t even remember the last time the man even picked up a book just to move it. It was an excuse. It had to be! He was using some poor, implausible excuse to not be in the tower with Loki.

     Bruce entered the elevator and Natasha moved back to allow him in. Loki almost didn’t make it passed the doors before they almost closed again.

     “Oh, you weren’t…”

     “This is his floor.” Natasha was smiling in an irritatingly knowing way. What did she know? She was only bothering him for the past few minutes spouting nonsense. Didn’t know his own nature. Him? The one person anyone knew the best was themselves, right?

     Loki huffed and did his best to ignore her smile as the doors closed. Afraid of affection she said? Didn’t know himself? Why did her words bother him so much?

     No, he didn’t care about her words. He didn’t care about any of it.

     Except he did.

     Loki shook his head. No, he wouldn’t think like that. He would just go to the kitchen, make himself something to eat quickly, and go find one of his admirers to pass the time. He didn’t need to think about her words. There was no good in doing so. It wouldn’t benefit him in the slightest.

     Yet, he couldn’t help it.

      Stay and work with the Avengers? It was a fairytale dream of a silly, little girl.

      Loki knew his place in this world and it definitely wasn’t in this tower fighting for good. He never belonged within these walls and he never would. Fighting selflessly for the good of humanity was simply not something Loki could picture himself doing. All those righteous speeches and talk about the greater good for all humanity sickened him. Loki was certain he wasn’t a hero and he couldn’t possibly become one.

     But Natasha told him he didn’t understand his own self.

      Loki ran a hand through his hair irritated at his own memory. She was gone but he still believed she was somewhere in the shadows smirking at him. Why was he even bothering about this? What did it matter what one human said to him? He had centuries of knowledge and introspection that should prove he understood himself the best. Why was he even doubting himself?

     Because she was right, he didn’t know himself the best. He didn’t understand why he was upset at the thought of the potion ending. He didn’t know why he clung to the thought of his brother so much despite trying to reject him so many times prior. He didn’t know why he couldn’t truly hate Odin. Or why he began to care for all the Avengers. He couldn’t even pin point when it began to happen.

      He also didn’t know why he was beginning to have troubling thoughts regarding his brother.

     Her words bothered him. Her words made him doubt himself because a piece of them were truths.

      Truths Loki didn’t wish to face.

     Truths Loki was afraid to face.


	27. He's Everything Inside Of You That You Wish You Could Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandral apologizes, Loki gets emotional and Thor's last thread is getting frayed.

      He had had enough with these terrible thoughts. Leaving that elevator only made things worse and Loki knew he couldn’t just blame Natasha for it. It was this tower. Everything in this very structure has caused him to doubt himself. Every person here had made him _open up_ and he was sick of it. He didn’t want to anymore of it! Especially before having coffee.

      Loki wondered if he was too late to see Steve in the common area. He needed that liquid elixir he made every morning. That’s why he was having such disturbing thoughts. He was just exhausted. He just needed to wake up more.

      “My beloved! My heart feels as if it will leap out of my chest in joy at your arrival.” Fandral’s all too cheery voice caused Loki to jump slightly. It was far too early for such joy especially when coffee had yet to be consumed.

      “Fandral, my friend.” Loki forced a smile to hide his morning crankiness that just had been exacerbated by a certain Russian.

      “Is something troubling you, my love?”

      Loki was taken aback. He had given no indication that he was unhappy. He smiled when appropriate. He kept his voice even and light. There was no way that Fandral could see past the mask he had create. He was the prince of lies after all. He had perfected the art and Fandral wasn’t the most perceptive of Thor’s friends. The man would jest and speak without even noticing others’ boredom. How could he see through the lies Loki so carefully covered himself with?

     “It is nothing,” Loki assured him with another feigned smile. He won’t let anything slip this time. There would be no way Fandral wouldn’t be fooled. And yet, the man did not let go of the tension in his shoulders and didn’t cease appearing concerned.

      “I know very well that when you speak such words, the truth is far from them.”

      “Do you now?”

      Loki was getting tired of people pretending to know everything about him. He wasn’t an open book for everyone to read. He prided himself on being able to hide his intentions. He couldn’t be losing his touch, could he? He had only spent a week in the tower! What was a week compared to a thousand years of careful words and perfect masks?

      “When I first met you, I thought you were a girl.”

      “I beg your pardon?” Loki turned to Fandral with a shock face. What did that have to do with anything? Perhaps his mask wasn’t cracking. Perhaps Fandral was just saying random things to pass the time. It wouldn’t be the first time he did so. When they traveled together, along with Thor and his other companions, it was usually Fandral running his mouth just to break the silence. He usually irritated Sif with his constant chatter causing her to focus more on silencing him than bothering Loki, something the prince was always grateful for. But this? This didn’t even make sense. Fandral met him when they were mere boys. Loki even had shorter hair!

     “You were so lovely and petite, I thought for sure you were a maiden.”

     It took the prince a moment to evaluate those words. He wasn’t sure if Fandral was complimenting him or insulting him. In Asgard, if a man was compared to a woman, it was usually an insult. Loki never understood why. One of the greatest people in his life, his mother, was a woman. She was strong, powerful and smarter than any of the warriors who teased him. In fact, at times, Loki didn’t mind being thought of as womanly or gentle. It was much better than being thought of as brutish and rude. Honestly, if he woke up a woman one day, he would not even be bothered. Loki figured he would be the same regardless of what form he took. After all, he was a shape shifter and changing who he was inside to “ _match”_ each form would just be inconvenient and exhausting. He was Loki and that was his one and only truth. But he was supposed to feel insulted when they questioned his sex. He was supposed to feel lesser when compared. It wasn’t the words that hurt Loki when likened to a woman. It was the intention behind it. Fandral’s intention didn’t seem like he was aiming to hurt but one could never be so sure.

      “If I recall properly my brother and anyone within the palace walls frequently referred to me as a boy.”

      “I had believed it to be some sort of secret all were sworn to keep.”

     He was being serious. Fandral saw a boy, dressed as a boy with boy cut of hair and everyone referring to him as a prince, and thought he must have been a girl. Why? _Because I was lovely._ Loki blushed at the thought. Fandral thought he was attractive and couldn’t believe he was attracted to another boy. Obviously, it must not have lasted long since Fandral ran off with countless women the moment he hit puberty.

     “When we went swimming in the lake the first time, I must have broken your heart.” Loki recalled in their youth that they use to strip down bare and swim with each other. He, Thor and Fandral have all seen more of each other than perhaps they wished. When they were young, though, it never bothered them. But knowing that Fandral had first thought him a girl, swimming with him must have brought him back to reality.

     Fandral weakly gave him a half smile and looked away. It was a look that wasn’t exactly an agreement but wasn’t negative either. There was a sadness in his eyes. Something Loki couldn’t begin to understand. If the man hadn’t turned away, perhaps he would have learned more about it. It was such a strange response to such simple teasing.

     “Have I wronged you in the past?”

     What an odd change of subject. This conversation with Fandral kept taking turns left and right. Loki was finding it hard to keep up with it all. What was going on in the warrior’s head that he would speak like this? Loki paused and smiled a little amused. Perhaps it was best not to know what was in the head of a known philanderer. It was probably safer to stay outside of such a mind.

     “The past is the past, my friend,” Loki assured him giving him a friendly pat on the back. “Why concern yourself over such trivial things?”

     “To me, such things are never trivial. If I have wronged you in the past, my love, please know that I wish to seek forgiveness.”

     Loki had not expected this out of Fandral of all people. Fandral, who laughed louder than any of Thor’s companions. The man, who teased everyone and spoke so freely about everything. When Sif would grow irritated with him, he would quiet down but always kept a smile on his face. There was no way he would be apologizing for simply being himself and Loki wouldn’t want him to. He was one of the few reasons he would accompany his brother and his friends on their adventures in the first place. He enjoyed Fandral’s teasing of the others. It was refreshing when the teasing was aimed at others and not himself. Fandral rarely teased Loki, unlike the others. When he did so it was always something light and never anything hurtful. It was always something Loki could find humor in. So, what did he have to apologize for?

     “I cannot give my forgiveness to an unspecified crime. Is there any situation you can think of that may require my forgiveness?”

     Fandral made a strange noise and looked away. What was he thinking? He had asked Loki what was bothering him earlier but perhaps the person who was truly bothered was Fandral himself. _What was the human word for this? Projecting?_

     “When we were young, I thought we were closer,” The blond warrior admitted.

     “You also thought me a girl,” Loki teased causing the man to blush a little. It was rare to see Fandral so flustered and even now, Loki couldn’t help but savor it. _He looks so lovely in red._

     “We were similar,” Fandral continued pausing to see his prince raise an eyebrow to the comment. “In some mannerisms at least.”

      “Aye, that is true.”

     “When we were young, and they began to tease about our more… gentlemen ways, I was able to prove with my strength and courage that I was one to be respected. However, you…”

     “I was terrible at sparring and not as foolishly courageous. I couldn’t prove myself a mighty warrior like Thor or you. Also, I practiced magic. Something most would consider a womanly craft.” Loki could see where this was going. Fandral was upset because despite their similarities, the warrior was able to get people to cease their cruel teasing. The man only got a few playful teasing afterwards, but such a thing did not happen to Loki. He was never able to break away from cruel teasing and somehow Fandral felt responsible? For what? Being stronger? Or perhaps he was upset he never defended Loki from cruel words.

     But Loki didn’t understand why that would be a problem. Whatever happened to him didn’t involve Fandral and he wasn’t under the influence of the potion then. Why would he care back then? _But he thought you lovely back then._ A traitorous voice teased in the back of his mind. _Your mother also mentioned that he may have loved you before._ Was this proof of Fandral’s past feelings? Loki shook his head. No, perhaps Fandral thought back to the past and while influenced by the potion looked at it differently. Maybe. Possibly. Loki cleared his throat and continued on.

      “So, of course, you distant yourself. If you were to speak up for me, you could have been teased too.”

     “It was wrong of me to hold my tongue.” Fandral looked properly ashamed. “It was wrong of me to smile at such cruel jokes.”

     “We are all trying to survive in our own ways.” Loki moved his hand in a motion that clearly stated it was nothing but none of that lifted the guilt from his friend’s face. “You made up for it more than enough when you included me in things and visited me unsolicited.”

     “But when others spoke against you, I remained silent. Even if I spoke up, I was easily drawn back to silence.” Was he arguing with him now? Fandral? Usually, when things got tense he didn’t press the subject any longer. Loki knew he was pretending none of it mattered but that should have been enough to silence him. Yet, he continued. “You did not deserve my cowardice.”

     What was he to say to that? Loki didn’t know what he could say to make Fandral feel better. Should he just tell him all was forgiven even if he didn’t feel that way. When Loki thought back to his brother’s friends, he was willing to blame all of them for his pain. Every single one of them except Fandral. Fandral, who made him laugh after he was teased. Soothing him with small jokes and teasing to others. He never spoke out for him, that was true, but he would change the subject or focus the teasing elsewhere. He was his friend, who sought him out in the library to ask personally if Loki wished to accompany them. Who didn’t mind a boring trip to the marketplace or simply riding around for a bit of fresh air. If Loki had been dragged by Thor without time to prepare, he was the friend, who always had an extra blanket for him when the nights had turned cold.

     “When you became king, Sif accused you of truly planning Thor’s banishment from the beginning. I tried to speak up for you, but I was too afraid to argue with her and my fellow warriors,” Fandral continued after the moment of silence. Loki’s eyes widened. He tried to defend him? During that time? “Sif had always been twisted against you from the moment you transformed her golden hair to the color of shadows. Perhaps even before then. I feared speaking against her would cause me to gain her ire. I should have spoken up more. I should not have made you doubt my loyalty.”

     But he did. Loki was convinced Fandral had also been against him, viewing him as some usurper. It was Fandral that turned the others away from him when they clearly had more to say. But the way his eyes were when he did so. Loki saw the clear suspicion. It couldn’t have been anything else.

     “I too was convinced of your trickery,” the blond warrior admitted softly when he received no response from his prince. “For that, I sincerely apologize. The line of succession was indeed yours. Even if you were to tell me you planned Thor’s banishment to happen from the start, I shall never believe it. You loved him more dearly than any one of us. Forgive me for ever doubting you.”

     Loki remembered those words. _“I love Thor more dearly than any of you.”_ He had said it after he admitted that he was the one who informed a guard about their plan to enter Jotunheim. He remembered how suspicious everyone was of him despite his words. He remembered them becoming even more suspicious when they saw him seated on the throne. None of the words he had said ever had merit. No excuse was ever enough. Yet, here was Fandral validating his feelings. He wasn’t pretending that Loki lied when he spoke them. He wasn’t claiming he stole the throne. He admitted Loki had a right to it. Loki felt a pressure in his heart lift when he heard those words. For once, someone understood. For once, someone listened.

     Fandral nodded a little to himself since Loki had still neglected to say a word. How could he? He never would have imagined anyone would understand him. He never would have imagined anyone would truly realize the unfairness in how he was treated. The blond warrior kneeled and slowly took Loki’s hands in his. The trickster could only watch quietly as the man looked at him with pleading eyes.

     “Forgive me for years of cowardice. Forgive me for playful words that cut like knives and silent words I never dare speak. Forgive me for my cruel laughter at your expense in fear that I would be the next target if I did not pretend. Forgive me for hurting you.”

     It took but a moment for Loki to realize something wet sliding down his cheek. It took him a longer time to realize that they were his own tears. He didn’t know why he was showing such a weakness in front of Fandral of all people, but he couldn’t help it. This was all he ever wanted. He just wanted someone to realize what he had gone through. Someone to understand the pain he felt was real. That he had a reason to feel what he did.  

      “I never imagined how much that would mean to me,” the prince admitted, raising a hand to wipe his cheeks.

     “Let me prove my love to you.” Fandral lifted himself up and kissed the remaining hand in his grasp. “I shall acquire a gift for you. Anything you desire.”

      What did he desire? Suddenly an image of his brother came to him. Loki paled. No, that couldn’t be. Why did he even think that? How could he when he was faced with the man he once desired above all. Yet, he felt nothing for him. Nothing romantic anyway. Instead, when he thought about it- _No!_ Loki shook his head.

     “The horns of a biglesnipe?” Loki had to say something, just to stop from thinking too deeply about his feelings. Especially ones that pertained to his older brother. He had to suggest something that would show Fandral’s gifts as a warrior and that was good enough. Asgardian men loved showing off. But the moment he said it, he regretted it. Biglesnipes weren’t the fiercest creatures in the nine realms. Dragons probably got that reputation but to take a full grown one on your own, was probably unwise.

     “If that is what you wish.” Fandral moved from him so quickly that Loki almost didn’t catch his arm.

     “Wait, it is dangerous.”

     “I would walk into Muspelheim barefooted if it would grant a smile on your face.” Fandral smiled with nothing but adoration and Loki couldn’t help his grip loosening. A biglesnipe wouldn’t kill the man. If anything, it would kill his pride if he didn’t defeat it. At least, he didn’t request dragon scales or teeth. Though they would have made better ingredients for future spells.

     As Fandral left, Loki sat down on the couch in the common room to think about everything that had happened that day. Where did he go from here? Fandral was off ready to risk his life for Loki and for what? Loki realized that no matter how moved he was by his words, the blond warrior was no longer in his heart. Instead, someone else was occupying it. Loki shook his head. No, it wasn’t anything more than familial love. Loki was just longing for the days that he and his brother spent time with each other. It couldn’t be anything more, right?

     He needed to get something in his stomach. Perhaps there was truth in the Midgardian saying he saw plastered on billboards and signs: You’re not you when you’re hungry. He just needed some food and these disturbing thoughts would be gone. As he rummaged through the fridge for anything edible, he heard the familiar sounds of the Bifrost being summoned. He was seriously going to do it. Loki shook his head. It was his choice. If he got hurt badly, Loki couldn’t be blamed.

     If Fandral did get hurt, Loki would feel awful. In the end, they had a history. They were friends and despite the romantic feelings being gone, Loki still cared for him. But Fandral wasn’t as reckless as Thor. He thought things out and he wouldn’t just thrust himself into danger stupidly. Or would he? Loki bit his bottom lip worriedly.

     “As I arrived, I took note of the Bifrost being summoned. Do we have more guests?” Thor’s voice made him jump and almost hit his head on the top of the fridge. Turning around, he saw his brother had returned and in his hand a bag filled with something angular. He could see the corners of the objects straining against the plastic.

     “Fandral has left on an important mission,” Loki informed him. “To bring me a courting gift.”

     “A courting gift?” Thor looked very disturbed by the idea. He should be. He should be very upset that he left Loki alone for the majority of the morning. He should fear leaving him alone next time. It served him right!

     “Yes, dear brother, and if the gift is worthy enough, I may agree to his proposal of marriage.”

      No response. Thor’s face suddenly became a neutral expression. He didn’t seem disturbed anymore, and he didn’t look upset. Really? Did he not hear what Loki had said? Perhaps he should say it again but slower, so his dull mind could keep up. Maybe he didn’t care. After all, he clearly found it more agreeable to be outside of the tower than here with him.  

     “Of course, father may find it strange, but I am sure the people of Asgard will come to accept us.” Loki smiled happily and did his best to seem excited at the prospect of marrying Fandral. Thor remained the same. Disappointing. “I could even give him a child with my abilities. Won’t our child simply be lovely? Fandral is quite comely after all.”

      Nothing. Not even a growl or tension in his shoulders. It was like his brother’s soul had left his body and all he was left with was a hollow doll. One that showed no emotion and made no response. Loki frowned. Why wasn’t he reacting? Shouldn’t he get angry? Shouldn’t he argue with him?

     “Brother, is there anything you would like to add?” Loki moved closer to Thor, who surprisingly stepped back and dropped the bag in his hand.

     “It is unwise to remain in my company, Loki.” Thor’s voice was even but dangerous enough to cause a chill down his spine. Without another word, the thunderer turned around and left, neglecting to pick up the items he bought.

     Loki peered down at the bag left abandoned on the floor only to notice the books poking out. Bruce did say he had inquired about bookstores, but never did he imagine his brother would actually buy anything. He simply wasn’t the studious type. They must be simple books for someone like him.

     Kneeling, Loki took note of the titles of each book. They were books about science and some about Midgardian’s views of magic. These were nothing like anything Loki ever would think Thor would read. They were more like- _More like something I would read._

     Suddenly, Loki felt awful.

      He gathered the books into his hands, discarding the bag in the trash, before heading towards the elevator. He stopped short of it wondering if Thor really was in the mood to see him so soon. He did seem rather dangerous and Loki didn't want to have to deal with another argument. Perhaps, he should give him some time to cool off? Loki didn't know. He didn't know how to deal with any of it. He was a fool. How could he not have known Thor would buy these for him? There was no reason for him to be in a bookstore otherwise. It was painfully obvious and yet, the thought had never crossed his mind.

_“The love we feel is superficial. It feels real, but in the end, it is nothing more than an illusion. Yet, you accept that more readily than the actual love of your brother. You know this has an expiration date. Maybe it feels safer that way.”_

     When Bruce had said those words he never really thought much about them. But now all the evidence was there. Even though Thor was under the influence of the potion, he still discounted his affection. He was more prepared to accept the fact his brother had grown tired of him, than accept that he would go out of his way for him. These books were not something Thor could just remember now because of the potion. Thor always knew what Loki liked. More so than anyone else. His gifts in the past were always thoughtful. But one day, Loki rejected Thor’s brotherly affection. No matter how much Thor continued to care for him.

     But who could blame him? One day Thor changed too. He ceased bringing back gifts from his trips without Loki. He stopped thinking about his little brother when deciding things. Loki was no longer important to him and he could feel it. Loki wasn’t upset that Thor had affection for him. He was upset because he had stopped. Then, when he realized his mistake and saw how angry Loki had become, he tried to pretend he only ever loved him and never once forgot about him. As if the years spent without his affection, were to be forgotten. So, it was hard to accept after being ignored for so long. Such feelings could easily disappear like they had before. It was safer when Loki knew something would fade than foolishly believe in always being cared for.

_“What are you afraid of? Real affection?”_

     He had laughed at Natasha’s question, but she was right, wasn’t she? But perhaps not in the way she had intended it.  Loki was afraid of showing affection to those he cared for. Because he knew how fickle another person’s love could be. Thor cared for him to a point, but Loki could never imagine his brother had cared for him during the time leading to the coronation. He could never imagine his brother loved him dearly when he ignored him, cut him off, and laughed with his friends over cruel teases aimed at Loki. One day, he just stopped caring and Loki was left alone. He couldn’t do that again.

      She was right. He was afraid.

     Loki spent some time outside on the balcony contemplating everything that had happened. No matter how long he sat there, he couldn't bring up excuses for himself. He had sent Fandral into a dangerous situation and barely even tried to stop him from leaving and he had caused his brother pain for no reason. Loki turned to look at the books he laid beside him.  _So thoughtful._ He let his hands slide against the covers. They were all hardbacks which Loki, being from Asgard, naturally preferred. Thor thought of everything didn't he? And Loki ruined it like he always did.

      When he finally entered his brother’s room that night, he found it a complete and utter mess. There were clothes thrown everywhere. The bed apparently had been lifted from the floor and tossed onto its side. The pillows and blanket spilled from it to the floor where Thor sat looking as if his entire world had shattered all around him. Loki could believe it given the abysmal state of the room. He carefully stepped over a few drawers that had been freed from the toppled dresser.

     “What did our bed and these drawers ever do to you, brother?” Loki tried to keep his voice light and ignore the pain in his brother’s eyes. The pain that he put there. “Are we to sleep on the floor?”

     “No.” Thor sniffed but refused to look over at Loki. It was better that way. Loki didn’t want to see the full extent of what he had done. He didn’t need to be reminded that he was a terrible person. Using his magic, he brought the dresser up so that he could place Thor’s gift to him upon it. His brother didn’t move.

      It had been so long since he had seen his brother throw a proper tantrum. When Odin had chastised him for being too eager to attack the Frost Giants, prior to their trip to their realm, he had turned over an entire banquet table in anger. Such childish displays were common in Thor and yet, that was the last time Loki could remember him doing so.

     He didn’t need to think about that. He should get ready for bed. Picking up the slightly folded silk pajamas Tony had bought him from the floor, Loki hurried to the bathroom. Hopefully, when he was done with his nightly ablutions and getting dressed, the floor in the room would be easier to walk around. And maybe then it wouldn’t hurt to look at his brother. He wouldn’t feel so guilty.

     As he exited the bathroom, he watched his brother push the bed back into position. The room was much cleaner, and Thor looked less emotionally wrecked. However, there was still subtle remains of the pain his brother felt in the room and on his brother’s lovely face. Loki frowned. Should he say something? What should he say? 

     Maybe he should apologize but that would be admitting his fault. He was only teasing. He didn’t mean to hurt his brother’s feelings. And what did he say that hurt them in the first place? That he would marry Fandral? They were brothers. Even if the potion was causing his brother to feel attraction towards him, it wasn’t real. Could he really be blamed for Thor’s fake feelings of jealousy? It would all pass in the end and this night would be nothing but an embarrassing memory for them both.

     “Brother, it is remarkably warm in here. Is it not?” Thor tried his best to sound neutral, but he could never hide his feelings the way Loki had perfected. He could still hear the guilt and sadness in his voice no matter how hard he tried to cover it. Loki sighed. Should he address it or, for both of their sakes, pretend nothing was wrong?

     “Is there not a device that controls the temperature within these walls?”

     “It seems to be broken. Take a look.”

     Usually, Loki would be irritated. He was no longer one to follow Thor’s demands. However, it wasn’t really a demand and Thor looked utterly pathetic. He’ll let it go for now. He walked over to the thermostat and looked at it. It seemed normal despite being stuck at 80 degrees (26.67 degrees Celsius). Looking at the sides, there seem to be large black marks at the edges. As if someone brought a flame to the plastic edges to burn it. Or lighting. Loki suspected it was the latter. However, nothing on the wall seemed to be bothered by this outburst of energy Thor must have exhibited. Strange.

     “These black marks at the edge. One must assume this was burned.”

     “Aye. It made an awful cracking noise.” Thor nodded but for some reason appeared guiltier than before. Loki looked around the room. The windows were intact. The lights all appeared to be working. Did Thor break the thermostat on purpose? Why? What reason did he have to specifically target it?

     “I shall inform Anthony of it in the morning.” Loki shook his head. It couldn’t be that his brother had done this intentionally. There was no reason for him to do it. Even if there were, Thor was never the type to actually have a plan. Loki sighed and narrowed his eyes at his brother. “But do not use this as an excuse to lay unclothed.”

     “Never, brother.”

      It was still strangely warm, but Loki had dealt with worse. There were summers that he had to suffer fearing he would simply melt. He always found it difficult to deal with the heat. He preferred to stay inside during the time despite his brother whining about it being a lovely day. Those days were horrible. How Thor could look at him, when he himself was dripping with sweat, and say it was a fine day for a ride was beyond him.

     Loki laid in bed above the blankets hoping the thin material of his pajamas would save him. Thor knew Loki couldn’t take the heat. He did this specifically to spite him. He was sure of it. It was just like Thor to be so childish and do something ridiculous like this. The younger prince thought back to when he couldn’t believe Thor had any plan in mind. Now, as he felt the heat, he could believe it. Thor did this to him!

     Suddenly, everything got a whole lot hotter as arms wrapped around his waist bringing him closer to a very warm, very naked chest. For a moment, Loki forgot to breathe. When he did finally inhale, all he could smell was the fresh scent of his brother. All he could feel was those strong arms holding him close and his heart pounding in his own chest. Loki had to steady his breathing before he spoke.

     “Get off me, you oaf!”

     “Your body is cool to the touch. Please brother, it is very hot.” Thor tightened his grip around Loki’s waist and pulled until Loki’s bottom was flush against his crotch. Loki gulped. He shouldn’t be thinking about it. He shouldn’t be so aware of where his brother’s crotch was in relation to himself. He shouldn’t be focusing on it. He was trapped. He couldn’t struggle against his brother normally because if he so much as wiggled, he was sure his bottom would rub against his brother’s front. Oh, how horrifying it would be if he felt Thor’s desire clearly! At least, it should have been a horrifying thought. Loki shook his head. What was he thinking? They were brothers!

     “Unfortunately for me, your body is a blanket of heat. Heat that I do not wish to endure!” Loki used his arms to push back against his brother until he reluctantly let go. He then jumped off the bed. He couldn’t stay there any longer. Not if he was going to think something so disturbing.

     “Where are you going?” Thor reached out, but Loki was too quick, and pulled his hand up before Thor could grab him.

     “To sleep somewhere cool.” Loki figured he could sleep in the tub. It was cooler in there and he could deal with the soreness in his back if it meant he was away from temptation. Temptation? Was that what this was? Had he become a deviant lusting over his own brother? No, he had to push away these thoughts. He had to get away.

     “Fandral is no longer here,” Thor growled and it shocked Loki. What did Fandral have to do with the heat of this room?

     “I am well aware of that. I fail to see where that fact is relevant.”

     “I suppose it is not.”

     Thor kept his arm out beckoning Loki to come back to the bed. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be anywhere near that overly hot mattress and its very attractive owner. Attractive? Yes, Thor was attractive, but Loki wasn’t thinking right. He knew now that he wasn’t objectively appreciating his brother’s solid chest and strong toned legs. He suddenly felt the urge to touch those legs. Just to feel the soft hairs on it.

 _What is wrong with me!?_ Loki screamed internally. How could he even think that about his own brother? He moved away from the bed noting that the further he went the more hurt his brother look. _If only you knew the indecency in my mind, brother. You would want me far away._ Then again, he was under the influence of the potion. He probably would be thrilled but that wasn’t real. None of it was real.

     “I apologize for the heat, brother. Perhaps we can open the windows and hope the outside is much cooler.” Thor was pleading now. Loki knew it. His brother was trying to get him to come back and Loki really didn’t want to sleep in the tub. What prince slept in a tub? It wasn’t even big enough to fit his whole body comfortably. He thought about the couch but no matter how comfortable it may be, it wasn’t fit for a prince of Asgard. Looking back at his brother, he noticed how large his brother’s eyes were getting. This should be a crime punishable by death.

     “I’m fine, Thor. Just sleep.” Loki slid back onto the bed and glared at Thor. His brother ignored his look and just smiled like an idiot. An attractive idiot that thought he had won. Thankfully, his brother turned to his side of the bed and didn’t reach out to grab Loki again. He could do this. He just had to go to sleep.

     He’ll forget about these thoughts. Once the potion was gone, he was sure everything would go back to normal. They would go back to fighting. The Avengers would go back to trying to thwart his plans and he could forget how perfect it felt to be in his brother’s arms.

     He had to forget it because this wouldn’t last forever.

     Nothing ever did.


	28. He says all the right things, at exactly the right time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is petty and jealous, Tony shares his daddy issues and that thread snaps.

     Loki woke up to a gentle breeze coming in through the windows. It seemed like Thor opened them anyway, which the younger prince was grateful for. He didn’t know how long he would have lasted in the oven their room had become. Stretching a bit, Loki turned over slowly.

      “Brother, I-” He wasn’t there. Once again Thor was gone, as were all traces of him. The only proof that his brother was here last night were the books and the unbearable heat.

      Quickly, he cleaned up and got dressed. Where did his brother go this time? Did he find Loki’s company that painful that he had to leave him the moment he awoke? _Was he still hurting because of me?_ Loki shook his head. Thor was clearly the less level headed of the two, but he got over things quickly. He was, after all, the one that was always pathetically positive about everything. He couldn’t have abandoned Loki because of the bit of teasing he had done yesterday, could he have?

     “Nat, do you have any idea where my brother has gone?” Loki couldn’t blame the agent for jumping at the sound of his voice. He didn’t really make a noise when he teleported into the room. Also, he made sure to be behind her to have the desired effect.

     “I think he said he had to greet some friends at the airport.” Natasha was still holding her heart as if her hand would have any influence on its rhythm. “They are only going to be here for a day or two, then it’s back to England.”

     England? He remembered the phone call Thor had with Lady Darcy. He had asked her to enjoy their time there. So, she could be the one visiting but Loki knew that wasn’t all there was to it. If Lady Darcy was there, then that meant so was that woman.

     Loki shook his head. What did it matter if she was there? He should probably thank her. After all, he had been around his brother for far too long. He had begun having disturbing thoughts. He knew it had to be because of the lack of space Thor provided. He must have been conditioned to long for his company. Perhaps if his brother went back with that woman, it would be enough to bring Loki to his senses.

     It didn’t bother him. Thor was his brother and an annoying one at that. Besides, it would all change once the potion wore off. Thor would then see his mistake. It was a shame Loki wouldn’t be able to use it to his advantage. If Thor went to Jane now, he could be missing out but what was he really missing out on?

     What did it matter that Thor would focus more on Jane if she returned to him? Loki didn’t need his attention anyway. He had plenty of other admirers. Jane would probably not want Thor to share his room with Loki. It would be understandable especially if she learns of the love potion. Loki didn’t care. It may be a comfortable bed, but Tony would buy him a better one. With him in a separate room, Loki wouldn’t be able to criticize his brother’s eating habits, grooming methods or abysmal choice in movies. But that didn’t matter. It was better to be away from all that. Those things would be that woman’s problems. Not his.

     Jane probably liked his choice in movies. They probably ate pop tarts together every morning watching the sun rise like absolute buffoons. She probably enjoyed picking up all the items of clothing he tossed carelessly on the floor and loved to clean out his beard trimmings from the sink. It was disgusting. He could at least take the small waste basket and hold it under. He was going to ruin the plumbing! Jane probably didn’t care about the plumbing. They were perfect for each other. He was glad they had each other.

     It didn’t bother him in the slightest.

     “Are you alright, Lo?” It took Loki a moment to realize he was still standing in the middle of the common room spacing out. Turning, he saw Tony looking at him concerned.

     “Anthony.” Loki forced a smile pretending he hadn’t been lost in thought.  “I have a request.”

     “Name it, baby.” Tony’s confident smile immediately changed to one of embarrassment. Loki could see over the man’s shoulder that Natasha had dropped her head into one of her hands. Tony chuckled nervously. “That sounded better in my head.”

     “It should have remained there,” Steve, who had been sitting on the couch, told him looking very serious. Tony gave the older man an incredulous look.

     “I’m sorry but did I ask for your opinion?”

     This wasn’t how Loki wanted to spend his morning. He wasn’t interested in seeing his admirers flex their muscles at each other. Forcing another smile, Loki got Tony’s attention and told him of the awful state of their thermostat. He made sure to pout when appropriate and whine about how dreadfully hot it was. He even complained about how he fears the suits Tony had bought for him may be ruined by his excessive sweat and hinted that it may be more comfortable to wear nothing at all.

     That was all it took. Tony raced to the elevator faster than Loki could keep up. He had never seen a mortal with such speed. Steve voiced his concerns, but Loki placated him easily. After all, Tony was only going to the room to fix the thermostat. His little comments about the heat was just to motivate him. 

     Needless to say, Tony seemed very disappointed when he realized there was an actual thermostat problem. Loki supposed Tony was hoping the thermostat was a euphemism or something. Given the fact that to the man anything was a euphemism, Loki could believe it. Unfortunately for Tony, there was a real problem he had to fix and despite it being usually below his “paygrade”, it had to be done.

     So, Loki sat on the bed looking at the collection of books his brother had given him while Tony went off to get his tools. Thor dedicated almost the entirety of yesterday morning looking for books Loki may fancy. Yet, this morning he was more than happy to leave him to see that woman. So thoughtful at one moment and unfaithful the next.

     Unfaithful? Loki shook his head. Why did he even think about it like that? They were brothers. What did it matter if he had a lover or not? It wasn’t his business and it didn’t change the thoughtfulness of these gifts.

     They were for him, weren’t they?  

     Now that Loki looked at them, he noticed only one talked about magic. The rest were science books and he was sure Thor’s mortal woman would love these sorts of things. He recalled his brother had erroneously mentioned to her that science and magic being one and the same. Perhaps the magical book was to help her understand that stupidly simplistic view of magic. Perhaps none of these were for him. He probably knew she was coming to visit. He was probably preparing for her arrival. He probably left these by accident. No doubt he will come back to claim them for her.

     Loki suddenly had the urge to burn the books.

     “You alright there?” Tony entered the room looking at him warily. In his hand a small tool box. Hopefully, the room would stop feeling so suffocating. Though if it was warmer, it may start the fire he desired.

     “Just distracted.” Loki placed the book in his hand down beside him with the others.

     “Nice books.”

     “Ah, yes. Thor bought them.” Loki neglected to mention who he thought his brother had bought them for. He also neglected to mention his urge to burn said books. Instead, he just smiled and acted like nothing was the matter.

    “You like books? I can buy you an entire library if you want.”

     Of course, he would. Unlike Thor, Tony knew how to court properly. Loki was sure by the end of the day there would be a library built down the hall. One of those larger storage rooms would be converted into a library. Tony wasted no time or effort. He made sure anything Loki wanted, Loki got. As much as he loved being pampered, it didn’t fill his heart with joy like he had felt when he believed the books were for him.

     Thor never said they weren’t for him. How could he be blamed if he read them first? He’ll enjoy the crisp new pages and the lovely smell of a new book, while she had to suffer with the used leftovers. She wouldn’t get to enjoy the scent or the satisfying crack of opening one. She’ll know they were tainted! Loki will make her know! With a smile, he looked towards Tony.

    “And I would greatly appreciate it but allow me to finish these first.”

     Fixing the thermostat took longer than Loki anticipated. It was long enough for Loki to order breakfast from a diner that was willing to deliver, paid by Tony of course. Tony made sure the delivery person was female, which was smart of him but at the same time disappointing. Tony ate while he worked and once or twice he was electrocuted for his divided focus.

     After eating, Loki was suddenly getting bored. He had flipped through the pages of each book not really reading them, just making sure none were crisp any longer. He had even gotten a little syrup on one page by accident.  

     Since Tony was taking his time, he supposed he should read one of the books. After all, they did look interesting. But the moment he opened the book, his mind began to wander.

    Were these books really for Jane or were they for him? He had no doubt that Thor’s mortal woman was intelligent. From what he had heard, she was one of the smartest of the Midgardians. However, her knowledge was narrow and held down by the constraints of her mortal life. Loki had far more time to study. Far more time to understand the way the universe worked. These books would be wasted on her.

     Yet, Thor wanted to bestow these words to her? A gift that was probably chosen to earn her favor. Loki found himself unable to read another sentence without growing angry at the thought. Closing the book, he threw it to his side.

     “Did it insult you or something?” Tony peered over at Loki confused.

     “Just boring.”

     “Tell me what you like, and I’ll get you less boring books.”

     “I’m certain you would,” Loki sighed. “Are you done, yet?”

     “Yeah, everything should be in order now.” Tony put his tools away in the box quickly and gave Loki an interested look. “So, anything else you need me to fix?”

     Was that a euphemism? Loki could hardly tell with Tony. Or maybe it was just a flirtatious line. Did he expect Loki to ask him to fix his lustful state? Suddenly, Loki was aware that he was lying back on the bed. Did this give Tony the wrong message? He was completely clothed. The most he had done was take off his tie and loosen a few buttons because it was still burning inside the room.

     “No, that will be all.” Loki stood up from the bed and looked around the room. When Tony would leave, he really didn’t have anything else to do. He could seek out one of his other admirers. Perhaps he could spend some more time with Steve. He would love to talk about the strange devices of Midgard with someone who understood their strangeness. Or he could speak with Bruce while enjoying every moment of the man’s adoration. Bruce would be kind and say sweet things to him, all while Natasha probably fumed with jealousy. Loki smiled at the thought. It would be entertaining. He could also spend time with Clint and talk about his family. Loki had yet to see any pictures of them, but the archer had assured him he would show him some.

    Anything to keep his mind occupied from what it kept wandering to. Even now the mere thought of the subject drove him back to his brother. Was he enjoying himself? Was Jane laughing at every joke his brother said regardless if she understood it or not? Was she clinging onto every word as if he spun gold with his tongue? Was Thor enjoying her praise? Did he love her dull looks of admiration and ridiculous attempts to entice by blinking far too much?   

      “You’re not even paying attention to me, are you?” Tony’s voice jolted Loki from his thoughts. It took him a moment to realize Tony had been talking to him and he hadn’t listened to a single word. He unclenched his fists unaware he had held them tight unconsciously.

     “Anthony, I-”

     “I’m here on Earth, Loki. Where are you?”

 _In a place I rather not be,_ Loki thought bitterly.

     “Lost in thought,” was what he replied.

     “Yeah, I noticed.”

     This was why he needed a distraction. Something to keep him away from such troublesome thoughts. Before when maidens threw themselves at his brother’s feet, he didn’t care in the least. It came with the territory. Thor was Asgard’s golden child and by being so, he was the realm’s most eligible bachelor. Every maiden secretly or not so secretly wanted his favor. The only time Fandral’s wooing didn’t work was because Thor had already stolen the maiden’s heart. Though at the time, Loki would have thought that such a maiden had poor taste. Yet, now…

     “You know, I know how it feels,” Tony spoke up again bringing Loki back to reality. “To not have your father’s approval. To doubt if he ever loved you.”

     Where was that coming from? Loki hadn’t mentioned his father at all. In fact, he was sure that he had never mentioned Odin to Tony at any moment. It wasn’t something one desired to talk about when flirting. No one casually mentioned one’s parents during such exchanges. Besides, it was something Loki never wanted to talk about.

     Yet, here was Tony bringing up his father for no reason. Why? Loki shook his head. Perhaps there was no reason. Maybe Tony was just trying to find some common ground between them? There was no common ground. Tony had no idea what it was like to be lied to for all his life. To never be good enough only to find out you never would be.

    “I doubt you know how I feel about that matter.”

     “No, I really do.” The mortal was truly insisting that he understood exactly how Loki felt? It was laughable and yet, he continued. “I was always compared to a man who we thought was dead. Now I share a roof with him.”

     “Steven?”

     “My father never even told me he loved me. Not once.” Not even once? Loki hadn’t heard such words from his father recently. He hadn’t heard them from his lips since his childhood. In fact, whenever he had told Loki back then it was always in the ‘Your mother and I love you very much but’ category. Always before he was criticized or asked if he was the one that cut Sif’s hair. It was never just said to him. Was that what Tony meant or did he really never even hear it once? Tony chuckled a little at Loki’s confused expression, but it was without humor. “Hell, he never even said he liked me, but he liked Rogers. It was always about him. He wasn’t even there and yet nothing I did was enough. I felt like I was always being compared. So, I just stopped trying.”

     “And what did that do for you?”

     “Nothing,” Tony admitted looking down sheepishly. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I did so many stupid things. I can’t take it back. You can though. You can make it right.”

     “Me?” What did this have to do with Loki?

     “Remember I was there when your brother and you were arguing, and I know you are having some issues with your father over picking favorites.” So, that was what this was. Tony wasn’t just making conversation. He had been thinking about this for a while. Perhaps his mistook Loki’s anger at Jane as still ruminating over the argument with Thor. “I just- He’s not going to be around forever and if you don’t say something now…”

     Tony’s voice drifted off and a sadness came to his eyes. It was as if he was remembering something horrible. Loki thought back to when Clint briefed him about all the members of the Avengers. Tony got his company from his late father. He lost both his parents. Loki never really bothered with the details and Clint never elaborated. It didn’t seem important at the time but now Loki could see now that it affected Tony very much.  

     But why? Tony just informed him that his father didn’t even like him. Why would he care about someone he thought didn’t care? He should move on and forget the man. He wasn’t worth his time. Loki walked away from Odin. He denied him and- He felt empty when he thought about it.

     “You never know when it will be too late,” Tony told him softly. “I never got that. A chance. I never told them how much I loved them.”

     “Loved them?” Loki was confused. “But he didn’t ever say he loved you?”

     “I know it’s stupid. How can I love someone who doesn’t love me back? But he was my dad. Even when I hated him, I loved him.”

     “It is not senseless to love him. As you said, he was your father. What is senseless is that he never let you know how much he loved you.”

     “You think he actually loved me?” It was now Tony’s turn to look confused. “Even if I wasn’t good enough?”

     “You’re his son. You don’t have to be good enough.”

      “Same with you. You’re his son.”

     “No, I’m not.” Loki shook his head. It wasn’t the same. Odin would never not love Thor because Thor was his true son. No matter what Thor did, he could do no wrong. But Loki? He was an imposter. It made sense that a father would love their true son no matter what but someone like him, wasn’t granted the same.

     “You don’t raise a kid for hundreds or thousands of years or however old you are without feeling something.” Tony argued as if it was the simplest thing in the world, but it wasn’t. Tony’s father couldn’t compare to Odin. There were things beyond his understanding. Odin was a king, who had fought many battles. A king, who was knee deep in the blood of Loki’s people. He didn’t take the baby crying alone that night out of the kindness of his heart.

     “I was just another stolen relic,” Loki muttered. “He only cared about my usefulness.”

     “That’s bullshit, and you know it.” Tony spoke as if he truly understood how the matter was. How could he? He wasn’t there? He knew nothing about the Allfather. “If my father can love me simply because I am his son, what is saying that your pops doesn’t?”

     He thought it was so simple? Did he not know how much Asgard hated Frost Giants? There were tales his so-called father allowed Loki to read. Tales read to him by servants meant to care for him. So many spoke of Frost Giants and how ugly and cruel they were. If Odin loved him, why did he allow him to be exposed to such things? That wasn’t what a man did out of love.  

    “I know he didn’t because of what I am. I am the monster that parents warn their children at night. Frost giants are hated in Asgard. If he loved me, why would he make me hate what I am? He lied to me for so long and he-“

     “And my father was always cold and calculating. Never showed an ounce of caring for me.” Tony shook his head and sighed. “It’s true I don’t have the whole… Raised to hate my own race thing, but my father said some rather hurtful things to me at times. Criticized me and made me loathe myself. The more I acted out, the more I felt empty and worthless. It made me angrier and I would act out more. A fucked up vicious cycle. I may have said some terrible things back at him… I definitely did. We fought often. We were never really close.”

     “But you are his real son.”

     “What difference does it make?” To Loki, it made all the difference. He wouldn’t even be having this argument if he was Odin’s true son. Because at least then, he could be sure that the old man held some sentiment for him. He could be sure he wasn’t just raised as a means to an end. An end that Odin confessed couldn’t happen any longer. So, now he was useless. Tony stared at Loki as the prince tried his best to avoid his gaze. Loki didn’t know what the mortal was thinking but he would rather the conversation ended. Unfortunately, it was rare for Loki to have what he desired. “Loki, even if it is true that your father doesn’t love you, you’ll regret not telling him you love him.”

     “I do not-“

     “Bullshit. If you don’t say it now, you may never get a chance.”

     Perhaps it was the conviction in Tony’s voice. Maybe there was piece of Loki that he had kept hidden below the surface that had finally risen. For some reason, what the mortal said caused Loki to pause. Odin was getting weary. The last time he went into Odin sleep, his mother feared that he would never wake again. He didn’t even get to recharge enough because Loki had caused him to wake earlier. He could have awakened for various other reasons, but Loki was sure the blame would have been pinned on him anyway. He might as well be proactive about it.

     But none of this concerned the mortal. Nothing that happened in the realm of Asgard was ever going to affect him. Unless, someone from there tried to take over Midgard again or there was a war. Besides that, this had nothing to do with him. Yet, he was arguing so passionately as if he had a personal stake in it.

     “Why does it matter so much to you?”

     “Because I love you.” Tony moved forward as Loki took in his words. The potion caused them to love him. Loki only thought about it in terms of desire and affection. Never did he think about it as deeply as it truly was. Because of the potion, Tony loved him enough to want Loki to be happy. Enough to care about Loki’s feelings beyond that of his own selfish desires. This wasn’t just lust. It wasn’t just foolish infatuation. The potion created more than that.

     Loki suddenly found himself unable to respond. What could he say to that? Did Thor love him with the same depth? Did they all love him so genuinely, so deeply? Then why was Thor with Jane now if that was the case?

     Tony wrapped his arms around Loki’s waist and attempted to move the god closer to him. Unfortunately, Loki hadn’t been paying attention and did not lessen his weight for him. Usually, Loki allowed others to grab him so that they would underestimate him. But his true weight was something that mortals couldn’t easily move. Tony frowned and said, “You are heavy for some reason.”

     “I’m always heavy, Anthony.”

     “But you didn’t feel heavy in my lap.”

     “Magic, Anthony.” That response caused Tony to chuckle and he moved in closer. Loki peered at him curiously.

     “You are something else.” His face was getting closer. For a moment, Loki thought about moving back and denying the mortal. However, as he moved to do just that, he heard a familiar heavy sound of footsteps.

_So, you returned. Did your mortal grow bored with you or are you here to bring her the books?_

     It didn’t matter what Thor wanted. Loki was determined to make him pay for his crime. With a smirk, he closed the distance between him and Tony and gave the mortal exactly what he wanted.

     “Get off him!” Loki was ripped from Tony roughly by the thunderer. Tony’s facial expression was a mixture of shock and terror.

     “Woah there, big guy! He kissed me! Not that I’m complaining.” He sent a wink towards Loki, who was more interested in struggling against Thor’s grasp.

     “Unhand me!”

    “Hey, buddy, let Loki go.” Tony stepped forward, but Thor glared at him dangerously making the man back up. “You could hurt him.”

    “I would never hurt my brother, Stark. But if you do not take your leave, I cannot promise you the same. You will do well not to interfere.”

     “Look, pal. When do I… do well?” Tony puffed up his chest as if he could ever deal with Thor without his suit.

     “Stark.” The hand on Loki’s arm tightened. This was dangerous.

    “Anthony. Just go.”  For a moment, Loki feared Tony wouldn’t leave but his face softened a bit and he nodded.

     “I’m sorry. We’ll talk later.” With that he left. 

     Thor tensely watched the doorway until he was sure Tony was gone and would not return. At least, that was the impression Loki got when he watched his brother stare. It wasn't until the faint sound of the elevator happened that Thor tore his eyes from it. Loki couldn't believe what was happening. Well, given Thor's history since the potion, it wasn't exactly outside the realm of possibilities. However, to see it in the flesh was unnerving.

    When Thor turned his murderous gaze towards Loki, a chill went down his spine. However, it didn’t last long as the younger prince remembered the reason why they were in this situation. Didn’t Thor run off to his mortal? What right did he have holding Loki back from a little fun? Ripping his hand from his brother, Loki folded his hands over his chest.

     “I can see you are angry.” Loki motioned to the room. “I’ll just leave you to it then.” He only made it out the door before Thor grabbed him again and slammed him against the wall of the hallway. Another wall almost destroyed by his brother’s harshness.

     “You brute!” Loki growled. “Why can’t you leave me be. Anthony and I were-“

    “I know about the weapon you are having him create.” Thor informed him causing Loki to pause. How did he know? Who told him? “You may have fooled him, but you will not fool me.”

     “This wasn’t about the weapon.”

     “So, you have fallen in love with him?” Thor’s angry expression changed to confusion and then hurt. “I thought you were determined to marry Fandral.”

      “What does it matter to you?” Loki questioned in barely a whisper. He didn’t like seeing his brother so hurt but what about his feelings? How dare Thor look at him with such vulnerability when not so long ago he was entertaining that woman! “Are you unhappy that I may have found happiness on Midgard? Am I not allowed to? Are you the only one allowed to have a mortal? How was visiting your friends? Weren’t you happy to see her again?”

     “Jane and I are no longer together. We only met as friends and for a short time. They had a conference to attend.” Thor spoke as if what had happened was nothing. As if seeing the woman that he once claimed to love, the woman that changed him in mere days, wasn’t a problem. “What does it matter?”

     Of course, it mattered! Thor was running off with a woman he once courted when he was clearly- Loki shook his head. Clearly what? They were not in a relationship. Loki had no right to act as if he was some jilted lover.

     “It doesn’t matter.” Loki lied. “Your relationships aren’t important to me just as mine shouldn’t be important to you.”

     “Stark is influenced by the potion. He does not truly love you.”

     “Your point being?” Loki pushed back against Thor and his brother allowed him a little space. With the small freedom granted to him, Loki brushed his clothing off as if Thor had sullied them. “I’m sure Anthony and I would-”

     “No, you won’t.”

     “Am I not to make my own decisions?”

      “I will not allow you to pursue anything with him.”

     “Why?” Loki was daring him. He wanted him to say the truth. He wanted Thor to confess to being under the influence of the potion. Something. Anything.

     “Because he is my shield brother and my friend.” Thor said easily as if there was nothing more to it. “I will not have you take advantage of his temporary weakness.”

      “No, this isn’t about that is it, **brother**?” Loki growled angry that his brother was still denying what he felt. “You aren’t upset that I may corrupt your friends. You are upset that I have no desire to corrupt you.”

      “You hold your tongue, liesmith,” Thor warned.

      “I will not! I will not allow you to stand in my way any further! All because of your petty jealousy.”

     “Jealousy?” Thor had the audacity to look surprised. It was as if he had never thought any of his ridiculous behavior was attributed to such an emotion. Loki would have laughed out loud at his foolishness if it hadn’t enraged him so.

     “Don’t act like you don’t know what I speak of.” Loki moved forward and glared into his brother’s eyes daring him to deny it further. “Admit it, the only reason you’re angry I kissed Anthony is because you weren’t the one to claim my lips!”

     “That is nothing but a falsehood.”

     “ADMIT IT!” Loki couldn’t believe he still denied it. After everything that had happened. How dare he stand there and pretend there is nothing. “The enchantress’ potion did affect you, but you are unlike the others. You do not show the effects outwardly.”

     “I feel no different than before.”

      “You lie! If Fandral was affected so too were you.”

      “I remain the same.”

     He remained the same? The potion affected Asgardians, this Loki understood. Thor didn’t have some amazing willpower above the average Asgardian. If he recalled correctly, Thor was depressingly easy to enchant. So, there was no way Thor couldn’t be affected. Unless, the reason why he remained the same wasn’t because he was immune.

     “Then you are worse than I thought,” Loki spoke as realization finally hit him. He understood now why he didn’t see it before. Why his brother never changed at first. “You lusted for me even before the potion, didn’t you?”

     Thor was silent. Loki was surprised. Surely this was an appropriate time to deny the accusation. Thor had been so quick to deny everything before. Why stop now? Looking at his brother, Loki realized the older prince wouldn’t look him in the eye. He was looking down now as if he was a young thief being caught by a merchant with a stolen apple in his hand.

     “You did!” Loki gasped. “You are no different from the other men that pursue me now.”

     “It is true that I desire you in a more than brotherly way but do not compare me with the others who easily sway to you.”

     It was true. He wasn’t even going to deny it! Loki didn’t know what to think. All this time, Thor had claimed he always considered him his brother regardless of his parentage. Yet, at the same time he lusted for him as if he was some maiden. Did Thor imagine Loki like one of those foolish girls, who swooned at the sight of him? Were his fantasies filled with Loki praising him and throwing himself at his feet?

     Loki didn’t know what was worse, his brother fantasizing about him or that he was actually interested in knowing what kind of fantasies they were. This was wrong. All of it. How could his brother have such feelings for him and for how long did he have them? Thor had made no indication that he desired Loki. He had never attempted to flirt with him. There hadn’t been any lingering moments between them. This was Thor, known for his heroic bravery. Where was it then? Why did Loki had to find out about his desire now?

     “Do not compare you to the others? No, I shouldn’t. They are much better than you! They don’t deny their feelings!” Loki spat. “You are too much of a coward to act upon your desires! How long have you wanted me? How long have you hidden these incestuous thoughts?”

     “Brother.” It came out shaky and full of an emotion Loki couldn’t quite place. If he had paid attention, he would have noticed his brother slightly trembling. If he had paid attention, he would have noticed his brother seemed like he was holding back something. However, the younger prince didn’t pay much attention to any of it and continued speaking.

     “I guess it is alright. I am not really your brother,” Loki laughed without humor as he moved away nodding. “We share no blood. You must have been very happy when all was revealed! Your sick fantasies could now be realized but then again, that would require you to have the bravery to act upon it.”

     “I’m warning you. If you do not stop-“

     “No! I will not stop!” Loki screamed turning back to look at him. “Tell me how long you have been a coward, hiding your feelings under the guise of brotherly love. Tell me-“

     Warm lips seized his in a desperate, bruising force. Loki gasped in surprise, allowing Thor to take full advantage of those parted lips. Pressing his body closer, the thunderer deepened the kiss and assaulted all of Loki’s senses. He could smell him, feel him, taste him. Everything was Thor at that moment. There was nothing else in the universe that mattered. Every part of his body tingled with a feeling Loki couldn’t begin to describe. A feeling he knew to be brought out by his brother. Everywhere his brother’s body touched burned with a heat that Loki couldn’t find unfavorable. In fact, he wished for more of it. He wished for his skin to be set aflame by those touches until his body was burned to ash. His legs felt weak and he swore Thor’s hands, one buried in his hair and the other gripping his shoulder, were the only things holding him up.

      Then it was over. Loki had to catch himself from leaning forward to catch those rough lips once more. The heat was taken from him as Thor untangled his hand from his hair. Loki had never felt so cold in all his life.

     “No, you tell me, brother,” Thor panted as he moved back from his equally affected brother. “Who was the coward again?”

     With that Thor left Loki in the hallway. Loki, whose legs suddenly forgot how to function, slid down to the floor with a shocked face.

_What was that?!_


	29. But He Means Nothing To You And You Don't Know Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has his big freak out about his feelings. Natasha and Steve try to help him out.

     Was he losing his mind? He had to have been. There was no way he would have enjoyed that kiss so much if he had been of sane mind. He couldn’t have enjoyed it. He shouldn’t have but how could he not? Even now, Loki felt the phantom touch of his brother. He could still feel the tingling of his lips as if Thor’s power had zapped across them. He could still feel the loss of heat and he craved it. Oh, how he craved it.

     Things were never going to be the same now. Thor had crossed a line that neither he or Loki could go back. In fact, the younger prince wasn’t sure where the line had been and where it had gone in the first place. Was there ever a line? Dropping his head into his hands, Loki groaned.

     This wasn’t right. This was wrong. It was so wrong! They were brothers! Loki should feel disgusted by this action. He should feel horrified by his brother’s confession and yet he didn’t. He felt excited. Norns help him. He felt absolutely euphoric.

     He couldn’t shake the feeling that he wanted more. Loki was afraid to admit it, even to himself, but if Thor hadn’t stopped, Loki would have allowed him to lead him to their bed. He wouldn’t have minded if Thor trailed his kisses down his neck. He would be a patient lover. After all, he was so patient hiding his feelings all this time. He probably would want to savor every moment. Undress him slowly, kissing every inch of his body until Loki went mad with desire. He could imagine the feel of those hot kisses on his skin. His brother’s rough hands tracing the angles of his body. The strength in such a touch and the absolute burning his brother would elicit inside him.

     He was sick. He had to be. That was the only explanation. Thor had asked him frequently what sort of madness Loki had. His father had even hinted at his insanity after he found out the truth of his heritage. Perhaps they were right, and the revelation **did** throw him into madness. A terrible sickness that caused his anger and lustful thoughts for his brother. Adopted or not, they were brothers. How could he even think like this?

     Was there even a cure?

     Did he want to be cured?

     He shouldn’t stay here. If Thor returned, Loki couldn’t trust himself. He’d want more. He knew he would. He was sick. He was unclean. He needed space to think. That was how he found himself on the rooftop ruminating for hours. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find a solution. Well, he did but sleeping with his brother was not an option. No one in Asgard would approve of their union.

     Would his father lock him away because of it?

     No, he wouldn’t.

     He’d probably sentence him to death to save face.

     “Thor is looking for you.” Natasha’s voice made him jump this time. He supposed it was only fitting since he scared her this morning. Loki looked around. He wasn’t in an area where there was stair access to. How did she get up here with him? Was there a ladder he didn’t notice, or did she literally scale the building?

     “He’s trying to act cool about it, but the big guy seems a bit worried,” Natasha continued, folding her arms over her chest.

     Thor was looking for him now? He was the one that ran away after one little kiss. Did he think it would be alright if he left? Did he know how much Loki wanted-

     No, he had spent too much time beating himself up over such thoughts. He shouldn’t continue to dwell on it.

     “Let him worry.”

     “Cut the bullshit.” The agent was becoming quite daring. Did she think she was allowed to speak to him in such a manner? Him? A god? “Something happened. What was it?”

     “If I told you, you’d never view my brother in the same light again.”

     “He kissed you or something?” Loki looked up at her in shock while she rolled her eyes. “It’s not rocket science, Loki. If all men are affected by the potion, then your brother is too. Though he didn’t seem any different in the way he showed his affection at all. So, one could only deduce that he must have felt that way prior to the potion.”

     She knew? All this time, she was able to realize his brother’s incestuous thoughts? Thoughts that **he** didn’t even notice. Loki grew up with Thor. He knew him for more than just mere years. More than just centuries. Their whole lives have been spent near each other. How did this mortal see what he could not?

     “You think you have it all figured out.”

     “No, I can just recognize when two people are being idiots.”

     “Idiots?” Loki placed a hand on his chest, feeling insulted. No mortal called him that. No one who wanted to live afterwards that is. “How am I being an idiot?”

     “You like him back, don’t you?”

     Loki was seriously considering that Black Widow had the power of mind reading. He could believe somehow the mortal woman noticed his brother’s feelings. She made it quite clear that she deduced based on his behavior after the potion. However, Loki was an expert at masking his feelings. Had to be. There was no way she could see through his mask. No one ever could. It was what he prided himself on.

     It didn’t matter how she knew. She knew and that was it. There was no point arguing against it. There was no point trying to convince himself otherwise because no matter how hard he tried, he could deny it. Not when he reacted the way he did towards his brother’s touch. He was already tainted. He might as well let all see his sickness.

     “He remains my brother. Of course, I’m adopted. However, such a fact hardly changes anything.”

    “I don’t get it. You guys keep saying you are brothers but where is the paper work anyway?”

    “What?” Loki didn’t understand what she was referring to. Paper work? What was that? Was she talking about a treaty or official document of some type?

    “Paper work making you legally his brother. Don’t tell me your dad just yanked you from where ever the hell you came from, claimed you as his son and no one questioned it.”

     Loki sat there silently. That was exactly what Odin had done. There was no official document claiming Loki to be his son. There was no treaty signed that put Loki in Odin’s care. There didn’t have to be. Odin was the king of Asgard. What he said went. That was how their realm worked. If he claimed Loki as his son, then that was who he was.

     “Wait, was that spot on?” Natasha looked horrified. She had no reason to look horrified. It was a pretty common process. If there was a child abandoned, they were free to adopt. Even common people could do it. Of course, usually the real parents are dead or unknown. If known, Loki knew they were usually returned but Loki was a special case. His parents didn’t want him. Or so that was what he was told. They did leave him to die after all. If that wasn’t enough, Loki supposed he could mention the gravity of the word of the King.

     “The Allfather’s word is law.”

     “Not in the rest of the universe. Does where ever you come from believe the Allfather’s word is law too?” She did have a point. Jotunheim hated Odin and would never agree with whatever he declared. Odin’s word wasn’t law to them. It was just hot air blown out of a murderer of their people. “Loki you can’t just kidnap a kid from another nation, claim it to be yours and have that be official. If people could do that, kidnapped children would just be the new adopted child of their abductors. The world doesn’t work that way. I’d like to think the universe doesn’t either. Either way, technically, you aren’t even adopted brothers here.”

     Not brothers. In the past, he would have told himself that that was the truth regardless. But now, he knew the thought of such a thing caused his heart to sink. Was there really no connection between him and Thor? Was there nothing tethering him to Asgard and his mother’s warm embrace? Was he just a kidnapped child that should have been brought back to his parents? Did Jotunheim even want him back? Or would they have acknowledged his adoption? Probably not. They’d probably wouldn’t acknowledge it out of spite. Too many thoughts. Loki shook his head.

     “That doesn’t make it right!”

     “What makes it wrong?”

     “We were raised together.”

     “Childhood friends that are neighbors are practically raised together as well. Come up with a better reason.”

     “No one would approve of this relationship.”

     “That seems more of a them problem.”

     “You just don’t understand.” Loki felt helpless. Every argument he had, she countered perfectly and caused him to pause.

     “You’re right, I don’t,” Natasha admitted. “But I’m not here to judge you or tell you which way to go. I’m just giving you some food for thought, alright. Think about it.”

     Loki watched her drop off the side of the building to what seemed like was a ladder. _At least, she didn’t scale the building._ Now he was left with his thoughts again. She did tell him to think about it, but he already had been thinking about it for hours. He had been sitting there ignoring his body’s needs for sustenance doing nothing but thinking about it. He had thought about rejecting Thor, which left him feeling like there was a hole in his stomach. Though he could argue that was just because the sun was setting, and he only had breakfast. However, when he thought about accepting Thor, the feeling went away so he knew it was more than mere hunger.

     She said Thor was looking for him. He was the one that left him in the first place. Why did he leave? Sure, Loki wasn’t exactly kissing him back but that didn’t mean it was unwelcomed! His brother had him right where he wanted, why didn’t he continue? Loki was beyond denying that he wanted him to continue. He already had accepted the perversion inside him.

     Maybe Thor hadn’t. Perhaps he was worried about his feelings for Loki. Maybe that is why he never pursued anything with him. And he had the gall to say he wasn’t a coward. Loki allowed himself to laugh. What brave man ran away after getting what he desired? Thor was a coward. A foolish coward!

     But it wasn’t like Loki had been giving him any indication that he may be interested in him. If anything, Loki always acted like he was an annoyance. Maybe Thor thought Loki wasn’t interested. Maybe he ran off because he was afraid of rejection. Loki should find him and show him how wrong he was, but something made him hesitate.

     If he crossed that line, there was no going back. That line that he felt was lost in the beginning, now suddenly was back. Somehow it had moved. Somehow Loki found it. It was one thing to be attracted to his brother. It was also one thing to kiss his brother and enjoy that kiss. Thor was talented, Loki couldn’t deny that. But he knew if he went to his brother tonight, there would be more than kissing. Loki feared he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

_What’s wrong with that?_ A traitorous part of him chuckled in his head. Natasha already gave him a perfect out. He wasn’t legally adopted, he wasn’t really Thor’s brother. It was tempting. He could pretend the years raised by his parents were illegitimate. Nothing tied him to the house of Odin.

     But that meant he was not truly their son. Despite everything he had said before, he never really wanted to be separated from them entirely. He just wanted them to understand his feelings. Never did he want to be disconnected from his mother. If he and Thor got together, it could break her heart. He would shatter everything and there would be no turning back.

     He desired his brother that was true, but it was simply desire it would pass.

     It had to pass.

     Before he realized it, it was night. He couldn’t go back to his room. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he laid next to Thor. He couldn’t do that. Not now. Not when he didn’t have his thoughts settled.

 

     But that raised the question, where was he to sleep?

 

     “Loki, what’s wrong?” Steve was already in his underwear. The man was wearing another shirt threatening to burst and boxers. Boxers? He always imagined Steve to a briefs kind of guy. It was a reasonable assumption since everything else he wore was so tight.

     “May I stay here tonight?”

     “S-S-Sure.” Steve opened the door wider to allow Loki in. His eyes never left the trickster as he entered the room. He looked wary.

     “I’m sorry. I just don’t wish to go back to my quarters,” Loki explained hoping that would alleviate any issues Steve may have with the arrangement. He was Loki’s best bet. He couldn’t sleep with Tony. The man would probably molest him in his sleep and there was the possibility he would be in bed with Lady Pepper as well. That would be awkward. He couldn’t will himself to lie next to a married man and he didn’t want to get on Natasha’s bad side by lying with Bruce. Fandral wasn’t here but if he was, Loki was sure the man would keep him up with his incessant chatter. It was cute most of the time, but night was a time for silence. Steve was the best non-Thor option. Besides, he had such an attractive room.

     “It’s alright,” Steve told him. “I can sleep on the floor.”

     “No. It’s your room.”

     “Loki, I love you and this is, uh, a lot for me.” Steve looked at Loki with a terribly red face. Loki almost forgot that every man in this tower desired him completely. Steve had always been so shy, he never really considered he wanted him in the carnal sense. But he did, didn’t he? Here Loki was asking to slip under the covers with him. That was giving him the wrong impression, wasn’t it? Especially after their date. According to Midgardian sayings Loki had been wined and dined. He so often heard the saying “At least, by me dinner first”. Steve had bought him dinner before. He couldn’t possibly think that Loki was here for **that** , did he?

     “I’m not here for sex. I just... We’ll just sleep.”

     “Let me get you something to wear.” Steve nodded and moved to his closet to pick out something for Loki to wear. “You can’t sleep in a suit.”

     Steve handed him one of his shirts and sweatpants. Loki was taller than him, but he supposed it wasn’t that much of a difference that the clothing wouldn’t fit him at all. His ankles might be showing. Was that too risqué for a man like Steve? 

     Loki quickly began changing his clothing as Steve immediately turned to face the opposite direction. He wasn’t as bulky as the captain, so the shirt did fit comfortably. The sweatpants were short on him but fit well on his thin waist.

     As he was tying the strings, there was a heavy knock on the door. Loki paused. Was Steve expecting someone? Instinctively, Loki moved out of view as Steve approached the door. He would be thankful for that action when the door opened to reveal his brother looking very worried.

     “Loki is missing.” He said eyes darting around the room. Steve moved in the way of the direction Loki was tucked in. He was hiding him from sight. “I fear it is my fault.”

     “Why?”

     “We argued.” Argued? Well, they had but he failed to mention the ending of the argument. That little thing he did where he pressed his lips upon his. Did he not want to admit his debauchery to Steve? “Please, friend. Please tell me you have seen him.”

      “I can’t say I have,” Steve lied like it was the simplest thing in the world. Steve, Captain America, the straight laced and always moral hero, lied like he had been doing so for years. It sounded so convincing. Loki couldn’t understand how this was possible. Thor didn’t make any noise that indicated that he didn’t believe him. Loki couldn’t see if Thor’s expression showed anything contrary to that. He must have believed him because he left shortly after apologizing for bothering him.

     “You lied for me,” Loki gasped in awe.

     “Why are you acting surprised?” Steve smiled softly. “I told you I love you.”

     They turned off the lights and laid down in the bed to sleep. Loki was on one side and Steve on the other. Both laid on their backs looking at the ceiling trying to pretend it didn’t feel awkward. Trying to pretend that they were both relaxed enough to sleep. But, how could they? Steve had the object of his desire right next to him and Loki was preoccupied with thinking about Thor’s expression. He looked so worried. Why? What was he worried about?

     “You and your brother fought?” Steve spoke first, eyes never leaving the ceiling.  “That’s nothing new. But this time had to be different.”

     “I don’t wish to talk about it.” Loki turned over to look at Steve. “I just want to sleep.”

     “I hope I’m not being too forward but-” Steve looked over at Loki and bit his bottom lip. “Can I hold you?”

     It was a terrible idea. Things could get worse if he allowed it, but Loki needed it. He wanted to be comforted. He felt so confused. Thor wanted him at one moment, ran away the next and now was looking for him. He didn’t know where to go or what to do. He didn’t even know if it was right to feel the way he did. He was worried about what this meant. Worried about what would happen if he accepted Thor. Would he still be Asgard’s golden child? Would they all blame him for corrupting him? Loki just wanted someone to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. If Steve was offering, who was he to deny him?

     “Please.” Loki scooted closer to Steve and allowed the man to wrap one arm around him. Placing his head on the man’s chest, he sighed. Without even telling him to, Steve moved his other hand to Loki’s hair and began to gently pet it in a way similar to how Frigga use to. It calmed him and made him forget his worries.

     “Whatever happened. I’m sure things will get better,” Steve told him softly.

     “How do you know?”

     “I don’t,” the mortal chuckled a little. “But I know Thor can’t stay angry at you for too long.”

     “What if I’m the one who is angry?”

     “I’m sure you have your reasons.”

     Steve was a wonderful man. He allowed him here with no intrusive questions. He didn’t bother him to find out more about the fight. He accepted Loki’s feelings as they were. He was so wonderful, patient and kind. But no matter how hard he tried, Loki couldn’t think of him as anything more than a good friend. He was handsome, and his body was a thing of beauty. Loki could appreciate it objectively. However, where he erroneously claimed objectiveness with his brother, he was correctly claiming it here. He felt nothing towards Steve. Nothing romantic anyway.

      But it would have been so much easier if he did. If he didn’t have these incestuous thoughts. If he loved a man unconnected to him. Someone without any stigma. It would have been better.

      “I wish I loved you,” Loki uttered softly as he drifted off to sleep. Before sleep took him completely, he swore he heard Steve whisper a reply.

     “I wish you did too.”


	30. You'll Just Sit Tight and Watch it Unwind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki leaves Steve's room to face jealousy. Thor finds out Loki isn't a virgin and is also the worst at taking hints.

      Loki woke up surrounded by an odd smell that reminded him of older individuals on Midgard. More specifically older gentlemen that he may have bumped in to a couple of times in the subway. He rode the subway once just to say he had done so. It was overcrowded, smelled of various perfumes and cologne and this one guy who didn’t know what personal hygiene was. It was an awful experience. So, he rode it again. It wasn’t because he was a glutton for punishment. It wasn’t because being squished by so many people resembled sort of a weird group hug. It was because he had been running away from his brother after a plan gone wrong. He had known Thor would have never expected him to take public transportation and he had been right. He had ridden it until his brother had lost interest and had gone back to the building he had designated his hideout for a while. That whole ride, he had sat next to an older gentleman, who had been prattling about his grandkids. These sheets smelled a lot like the cologne that man wore.

      Opening his eyes slowly, Loki half expected to find himself in the company of a similar older gentleman. Instead, a very young-looking Steve Rogers was sitting in a chair, across the room from him, with his sketchbook in his lap. How long had they been like this? Loki stayed still in the bed, alone. Steve hadn’t seemed to notice him being awake now, as he was concentrating on whatever was on the paper.

     “Should I continue to stay still for you?” Loki broke the silence, but it didn’t make the man jump. He supposed Steve had realized he had awoken.

     “I’m almost done.”

     True to his word, Loki didn’t have to remain still for very long. When all was said and done, Loki was very curious to see what sort of masterpiece Steve created. He wasn’t disappointed, but there was hardly ever a time he was disappointed by him. A lot more work went into this than the drawing at the meeting. Perhaps it was because Loki could stay still for this one. It was obvious he drew the head and top half of the body first. There was so much care put into his slumbering face. Loki was thankful he looked graceful and not a drooling, snoring mess like his brother.

     “You’re very talented, Steven.”

     Steve and he chatted a little bit. Mostly about what they would get for breakfast and if Loki wanted to change his clothes back to his suit. Unfortunately, despite how nicely folded his suit was, Loki wasn’t interested in re-wearing dirty clothes. So, Loki told the man he would go back to his room and change.

     But that would be a problem wouldn’t it. Thor could still very well be there. Thor could be anywhere if Loki was honest. Maybe he would get lucky and the fool ran off to see that woman again. Maybe he and Jane were chatting somewhere happily. Thor said there was nothing between them any longer. His brother wasn’t known for lying so it had to be true. Then why visit her at all? He should just stay in the tower all day and forget her.

      Loki shook his head. He wasn’t thinking rationally. Maybe he just needed some breakfast. He asked Steve if he would like to accompany him, but the man wanted to shower and dress first. He supposed it was understandable. So, while the man picked out his skin-tight outfit of the day, Loki decided to head out towards the common room first.

     “So, you get around.” Was the first thing he heard when the door opened. Tony was standing there with his arms folded across his chest. His glare was harsh and not something Loki hadn’t been at the receiving end of before. He just hadn’t tried to destroy New York prior to this. Well, not recently.

     “Anthony.”

     “So, your brother was looking for you and I thought, I might as well check the hall cameras. See if you are anywhere around. And what did I see?”

     Loki froze. Did he check them at that moment or was he watching everything? What time did he choose to look at? Did he see Thor kiss him? Why was Loki worried about it? He already accepted that perversion. What did it matter if the mortal saw it? It wasn’t like Heimdall hadn’t already had an eyeful. Loki paused. Heimdall saw it, didn’t he? No doubt, he had already told their father and soon Loki would be punished for his crime.

     All this time he was afraid of what was to come when Heimdall probably already saw him with Thor. So, everything was probably out in the open. Even if Loki didn’t kiss back, the people of Asgard would say Loki seduced Thor. It would be his fault anyway. His mother would believe him but, in the end, her hands would be tied as well. She’d probably already be heartbroken. So, what was he afraid of? Might as well continue this debauchery further. Might as well commit the actual crime. If he was going to be locked up for the rest of his life, he might as well be thrown in knowing how his brother tasted and felt beneath him.

     “And you aren’t even listening to me again! Wow. I mean that little to you?”

     “Anthony. I was just thinking.”

     “Thinking while I asked you why you went into Rogers room last night? Why you are wearing his clothes?”

     He didn’t see the kiss? He only saw him entering Steve’s room? If Tony saw Loki enter Steve’s room, did he tell Thor? Loki remembered that Thor had knocked on the door not that long after he had entered it. Did Thor know he was there but allowed Steve to lie to him? No, that wasn’t possible. Thor always got angry at just the thought Loki was with another man. Tony must have kept it to himself. So, why did he take so long to confront him?

     “Nothing happened between me and Steven.”

     “You stepped out of his room and you are saying nothing happened?”

     “Tony.” Steve walked up behind Loki with his change of clothes in his hand. He was still wearing his sleeping wear which wasn’t the best outfit to show Tony.

     “No, I don’t want to hear anything that comes out of your mouth,” Tony growled.

     “Tony, nothing happened,” Steve spoke ignoring Tony’s previous statement. “Even if it did, it wouldn’t be your business.”

     “Like hell it isn’t my business!”

     “Steven, please, allow me to speak to him alone.” Loki pressed a hand on the older of the mortals, who looked like he was seconds from jumping in front of Loki. Tony also looked like he was seconds from pouncing the man and attacking. This wouldn’t end well. Especially when he knew Tony couldn’t physically handle Steve without his suit.

     “You sure?”

      “I can handle myself.”

     For a moment, Steve hesitated. He looked between both Loki and Tony before deciding to give Loki and him their privacy. Loki smiled softly as Steve retreated into the room. He didn’t turn back to look at Tony until the door made a soft click.

      “So, what? You have a little sleep over at Roger’s and expect me to be alright?” Tony didn’t waste any time to begin their argument again.

     “Anthony, it was never-”

      “Just tell me one thing, Loki.” The billionaire’s expression slowly changed from angered to hurt. His hand was trembling as he held up his finger. Loki wondered what could have affected him so.  “Why did you even kiss me?”

     Why did he? Loki knew the answer. He used Tony to get back at Thor. He used him to anger his brother further because of his own petty jealousy. Tony didn’t deserve that. Loki remembered Steve’s words before about how everyone had emotions. How everyone could be hurt.

     “I never meant to hurt you.” It sounded like a lie, but Loki found he truly meant it. He didn’t really think he would react like this. Sure, he understood that jealousy would play a role at some point. But never did he think it would truly hurt any of them. The way Tony was looking at him with such a look of betrayal made Loki feel like he was every bit of evil others called him. “Forgive me.”

     “Wow.” Tony humorlessly chuckled a bit and looked down. “Never thought I would hear those words coming out of your mouth.”

     “Thor and I had a fight.”

      “I figured that much.”

     “I was scared. I didn’t know where to turn to.”

      “You could have turned to me.”

      “I doubt we would have just gone to sleep, Anthony.” Loki smiled a little and Tony gave a sad smile back. Then a genuine one broke out of the sadness. The mortal looked up to the ceiling and sighed.

      “You got me there,” he admitted. “But Rogers? Really? After everything I said about being compared to him?”

     “I know. I was wrong. Forgive me.”

     Loki couldn’t quite understand himself. He did want to calm down Tony in order to keep the peace. He was the man making his weapon after all. However, none of this was even for the weapon. He genuinely didn’t want Tony to feel bad. It wasn’t like how his brother suspected. He hadn’t fallen in love with the mortal. He just cared for him. He cared for everyone and it hurt to see them like this. It made him feel like he was some sort of monster.

     Tony was a good man. Perverted, a show off and a little cocky but a good man. Little cocky? Probably more than just a little. Either way, he didn’t deserve to get hurt over a love potion. Thankfully, the man was coming to his senses. He didn’t seem hurt or angry any longer. Instead, he just seemed cautious.

     “Nothing happened?”

     “Nothing happened. I merely slept.”

     “Well, you need new clothes because I will not have you parading in his clothing.” Loki smiled at the mortal’s words. _So petty._ Tony looked up and addressed his disembodied butler. “Jarvis.”

     “Yes, sir.”

     “Do we have anything Loki’s size in my apartment?”

     “Of course, sir. You still have four boxes you have yet to bring to his room.”

     “Four boxes, Anthony?” Loki knew Tony had the resources to buy that much but he really didn’t have to.

     “I like to spoil.” Tony smiled arrogantly. It was the one thing he could be proud of Loki supposed. Perhaps Tony thought his best side of him was the one that was overflowing with dollar signs. But that wasn’t the best of Tony Stark. If it was, Loki wouldn’t have been so worried about hurting him earlier.

      “What does Lady Pepper think of such gifts?” Loki honestly wanted to know how the woman dealt with Tony’s idea of spoiling. How many boxes of clothing has she received? She didn’t seem like the type to enjoy being spoiled. Loki took things happily. Pepper seemed a bit less interested in that sort of gesture.

     Of course, he could be wrong.

      “Jesus.” Suddenly the arrogant attitude washed away. Tony looked down contritely. “I’m one big hypocrite, aren’t I?”

     “I never said you were.” Loki was being honest. He wasn’t intending for Tony to realize his folly. He just wanted to know why the woman had stayed with him so long if he kept doing such odd shows of affection. Tony put up one hand and looked away from him.

     “No, I know I am.”  For a moment, he was silent but then he nodded to himself and dropped his hand.  “Let’s forget the outfit. I’ll have the boxes delivered to your room. I need some time to think.”

     Tony walked away before Loki could say anything else. The prince returned to Steve’s room just to assure him everything was alright and headed back to his and Thor’s room. Tony would be fine. He had Pepper and Loki knew he loved her dearly. If he didn’t, he would have left her the moment the potion went in affect. Even Steve had feelings for the woman in the picture, though she may be gone. Bruce had Natasha and Clint had his wife. Loki had-

     Loki had Thor. Tony made him realize that there was no secret he could hide from Asgard. If Tony saw him enter Steve’s room, Heimdall certainly saw the kiss. There was no getting around it. If he was to lose everything, he might as well have a taste of his desire. If that could be done, he would take his execution gladly.

     When he entered the room, he didn’t know why he expected it to look as it always did. Of course, there had been a lot of emotions flying around yesterday, but certainly the room didn’t deserve his brother’s ire again. If it was like this? Where did Thor sleep? He found his brother pouting on the floor staring at Mjolnir. Did he even sleep?

     “Brother.” Thor noticed him immediately once he stepped inside. “Are you well?”

     Thor was sitting in a room that looked like some cyclone hit it. His hair was a mess, his face paler than usual and he thought it best to ask Loki if **he** felt well? Loki wanted to pick up one of his books, that Thor had rudely tossed all over the floor, and hit the man’s beautiful head. He wanted to shout at him for taking so little care of himself. He wanted to tell him that he didn’t want the man that he decided to be executed for to torment himself so. Instead, he surveyed the room with a sigh.

     “I’m gone for one night and you already turn this room into a mess. Here I thought I was a good influence on you.”

     “Where did you sleep last night?”

     “It is none of your concern.”

     Loki expected Thor to jump up and get angry. He expected his brother to raise his voice and allow his petty jealousy to control him once more. Something like what Tony did earlier. Accuse him. Ask him why. Things like that. Instead, Thor just sighed sadly.

     “Are you…Uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping here?”

     “One can hardly sleep on a bed tossed around like that,” Loki chuckled trying to lighten the mood. Yet, Thor remained as gloomy as he was when Loki had entered.

     This wasn’t supposed to be how things worked out. Loki was supposed to enter the room and Thor was supposed to be overjoyed seeing him completely unharmed. He was looking for him so diligently last night. Here he was! Right in front of him! Thor hadn’t even really looked at him spare a glance at the beginning. Wasn’t he in love with Loki? Hadn’t he been for years?

     Loki should just tell him that he accepted him. He should just tell him that he had realized there was no turning back. In a universe, hell bent on making everything his fault, there was no avoiding blame. He desired Thor. He wasn’t sure if his desire was as deep and powerful as Thor’s love for him, but he knew something was there. Something very unbrotherly and he might as well explore it. Heimdall’s loose lips probably painted him as some seducer that preyed upon the noble Thor. Might as well be all that he told the king. All he had to do was tell Thor his decision.

     And yet, he didn’t. Loki just couldn’t. It was one thing to think a certain way. It was one thing to accept your own perversion, but he will be admitting it out loud. What if this was all a lie? What if Thor didn’t think of him beyond that of the potion? Thor wasn’t one to lie. Loki could believe his words. What if Thor regretted it? 

     “Have you eaten yet?” Those were the cowardly words that escaped his mouth. Ones that said nothing about his feelings or his desires. Ones that changed nothing about their situation.

     “No, I…”

     “Well, I’m simply starving. So, allow me to get dressed and we can see if there is anything edible in the kitchen.”

     Thor finally looked at him. Looked at all of him. He seemed hopeful at first but after noticing his attire, a pained expression took over. Loki gulped. He suddenly felt the urge to shield himself from those eyes. Those eyes, that like Tony before, held many accusations.

     “Brother, whose clothes are those?”

     “Don’t worry if my chastity wasn’t claimed long ago, I would have it still.” Loki was screaming at himself internally. What was wrong with him? Why didn’t he just lie and say he dropped something on his suit and Steve was kind enough to give him some clothes? It would have caused Thor to be suspicious, but it wouldn’t hint that he was in a room with another man. After Tony’s reaction to it, Loki knew such things were not something you wanted your lover to know. It could be taken the wrong way.

      “What?” Thor didn’t look angry or upset. Instead, he looked rather surprised. Did he not hear what Loki said? Was he not thinking of the implications such a statement had?

      “Nothing happened,” Loki cautioned.

     “No, your chastity has already been claimed?”

     THAT was what that look was for? Thor couldn’t imagine that he, Loki, after a thousand years of life had actually had sex before? He wasn’t some anomaly of a man. He had sexual desires like anyone else. Did he believe there was a shortage in partners for him? Loki was handsome, talented with his words and a prince. There were many maidens that easily swoon to words. Especially that of someone with power. Some of the very maidens Thor rejected were completely smitten by Loki by the end of the night. Did he think so little of him that he couldn’t woo a maiden or a very handsome soldier?

     “Did you think me a virgin as well?”

      “When?”

      “We have been to many realms, brother. There were many opportunities.”

     “But you never left the table. Unless you were turning in for the night.” Thor’s brow furrowed as he lifted himself from the floor. “Were maidens lying in wait for you in your bedchambers? Such bold women.”

     “No, I never left the table before you unless I lied about needing rest because you wouldn’t let me leave! There is no way I could ever gain a maiden’s fancy with your greatness blocking her view. I had to be away from you,” Loki informed him a little bitter. Even with his feelings for his brother, he still didn’t like the idea that everyone loved Thor more than him. Just because he could see why, didn’t mean it was right. “Besides you were too busy allowing whatever wench came your way to parade her bosom in your face to notice what I was doing.”

     Thor pouted childishly and turned away. Loki shook his head. He was upset about that? At least, he didn’t deny it. There was no way he could. Every maiden in the nine realms practically salivated over him. Some were even bold enough to seat themselves in his lap and Thor never really pushed them off. He loved the attention. So much that he didn’t even notice his brother growing bored with the festivities and lying about being tired.

     “I notice much more than you think,” Thor grumbled clearly upset by Loki’s words.

     “Really?”

     “I knew you fancied Fandral.”

     Loki was an adolescent back then. Young and still trying to figure himself out. Did Thor love him at that point? Was that the beginning of his incestuous fancy? Then why didn’t he say anything? Why did he allow the others to tease him so?

     “Did you now?” Loki wanted to know more. He wanted to know why Thor never tried to steal his attention away. Did it hurt watching him pine for his friend?

     “Yes, your eyes always followed him.”

     “And you were jealous?”

     “Not at the time. I was merely concerned.”

     Concerned? So, he hadn’t accepted the feelings inside him yet. Perhaps he was telling the truth. Perhaps there were no feelings at the time. However, how concerned was he? Fandral was never told by Thor or anyone else to not flirt as often as he did. Thor never tried to protect Loki from seeing Fandral woo yet another maiden. If anything, he smiled as wide as the rest of them. He knew Loki fancied him. Why didn’t he say anything?

     “Not too concerned, I’m sure.” Loki felt a little angry by this revelation. It meant Thor saw Loki hopelessly in love with his friend and did nothing about it. Yet, he called himself concerned.

     “Who allowed you in their bedroom that night Fandral swore he would ask the barmaid to marry him?” Thor was saying it like he had done something great that night. They were in a small inn and there weren’t enough rooms for everyone. Six travelers and only four rooms.

     “We had to pair up in rooms to sleep. Naturally we would pair up since we were brothers.”

     “There were extra rooms,” Thor admitted. There were? Loki tried to think back at that specific time. They had entered the inn and tavern late that night. They had been told there were plenty of rooms by the innkeeper but later that night the same innkeeper said he miscalculated. It was a lie? Why didn’t Loki notice it was a lie?

     Perhaps he was too distraught to pay attention to the rehearsed words. Fandral had met the barmaid just that evening but was already wooing her in full passion. Loki thought she would be nothing but another bedwarmer when Fandral declared he would ask for her hand. Loki tried to reason with him. Joking that he did not know the woman and she could have a dark secret she wished to hide but Fandral was adamant that he would do so.

     So, Loki probably didn’t notice Thor speaking with the innkeeper. He was too focused at staring sadly at the object of his affection while he laughed with an unworthy barmaid. He didn’t notice the innkeeper speaking insincerely because he was too busy being trapped within the melancholy thoughts that plagued his mind that night. Thor made sure they shared a room because he wanted to comfort him?

     “Poor Hogun and Volstagg. Having to share a room because of a lie,” Loki chuckled a little. The memory of the horror on Hogun’s face when he drew one of the shorter of the sticks. Volstagg didn’t even realize the bed wouldn’t accommodate the both of them. Poor Hogun curled on the floor complaining about the thick smell of onions for nothing. Not for nothing. Thor had done it to comfort him. Loki was touched. He knew his brother was thoughtful, but this was to a greater degree. To go to such lengths… Loki never knew any one else to do such things for him.

     “I didn’t want you to be alone,” Thor explained. “Usually, you didn’t seem to mind Fandral’s antics.”

      “Were you angry with him?”

      “No, I just wished you didn’t waste your time pinning over a philanderer.”

     “And you say you weren’t jealous.” Loki smiled at the thought.

     He loved him. There was no other way around it. Loki was definitely in love with him. His heart could barely contain itself after everything Thor had said. His brother cared for him so deeply even during a time the thunderer hadn’t been sure of his own feelings. Thor loved him more than anyone and who was he to deny such a love? Loki wanted more of it. He needed it. There was no more room for denial.

     “I’m sorry.” Thor’s words caused Loki to pause. Why was he apologizing?

     “For what?”

     “Do not get me wrong. I do not regret claiming your lips. I regret stealing it without your permission.” This caused Loki to smile shyly. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. He couldn’t even believe such a feeling was directed to anyone else in the past. This felt special. This felt real.

     “Do you wish for me to give you permission, brother?” Loki purred, moving forward towards his brother.

     “I crossed a line. For that I am sorry.” What? That wasn’t the correct response. Loki was flirting. He was pretty sure he was obviously flirting with Thor. If he tried any harder, he would have held a sign over his head. What kind of response was that? Why was Thor looking guilty? “I still think of you as my brother.”

     “Really? After all that?” Loki couldn’t believe this. Did Thor think he could come into Loki’s life make him feel all these things and just leave? What was wrong with him? He just told him such a wonderful tale of when he thought of only Loki’s feelings. Now he was going to dismiss them?

     “I meant it when I said I wanted us to be a family again. I don’t have to have you as a lover if you would just remain by my side.”

     “You think of me as your little brother while simultaneously lusting over me? My my… How twisted the son of Odin truly is.” Loki probably spat those words out. He had reason to be angry. He went an entire day worrying about his desires. He spent the morning playing around with the idea in his head. And now he was here with a definitive answer. He was here after hours of agonizing only to hear his brother was no longer interested in pursuing it any further?

     It was good the room was already a mess because Loki would have destroyed it at that moment.

     “I must have frightened you. But I assure you, I will not force myself upon you. You have my word.”

     Frightened him? Loki had been flirting with him! Loki had smiled at him! Did he have to take off his clothes and tell his brother to take him now?! Was that the only thing he would understand? Loki knew he was stubborn. It took him so long to acknowledge his brother’s feelings. It took him equally long to acknowledge his own. But this was Thor!

     This **was** Thor. This was his equally stubborn and pig-headed brother. The man who never took no for an answer. He would drag Loki where ever he pleased. Fight whoever he pleased. No one could stop him from doing what he wanted to do. No one really ever tried. Thor had always been incredibly dense when compared with Loki. Compared to mortals, Thor was actually very intelligent, but he never held a candle to Loki’s intellect. This moment surely proved it. He loved a moron. Norns help him. He was in love with an absolute imbecile.

     And that imbecile insisted on continuing to talk.

     “If you wish for another room, brother, I-”

     “Cease talking. I’m getting a headache.” Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. He needed time to process this.

     “Brother?”

     “Obviously, I need food. Are you joining me or not?”

     Thor can believe he had set things right all he wanted but there was no going back now. Loki couldn’t believe he could even entertain the thought of it. They were too far down this path. Perhaps Thor felt guilty because of the wrongness of the relationship. Perhaps he was using Loki’s fear as an excuse. Maybe that was why he ignored all the signs of Loki’s acceptance.

     It didn’t matter why he was trying to back away. Loki won’t let him! Once there was food in their stomachs, Loki was going to make his brother accept him.

     Whether he wanted to or not!

 


	31. It's Only What Your Asking For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki throws himself at Thor, Thor's super untrusting and all the playing around comes back to bite Loki in the ass. And not in a sexy way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance.

     Thor agreed to eat with him. Loki even helped him out by using his magic to fix the room. Everything seemed like it was all going back to normal. Thor had his brother back. They were smiling and teasing each other again. Just like nothing had ever happened between them. Everything was great.

     Except it wasn’t.

     Behind Loki’s innocent smile was a plan. A plan to disrupt his brother’s perfect fantasy of them playing family again. He knew he couldn’t be subtle. If he was going to get his thick-headed brother to understand him, there was no room for subtlety.

     “I simply cannot leave the room in this attire.” Loki turned up his nose as he pinched Steve’s t-shirt from his chest. Thor shrugged. He wasn’t really paying attention as he was still placing some items back where they belong. Loki’s eyes narrowed.

     Slowly, he took off the shirt, but Thor still didn’t look in his direction. Instead, he was making sure the bed was made properly. Loki knew the moron didn’t care about the bed! Should he clear his throat? No, that would be too obvious. Didn’t he want to be obvious?

     In the end, he tossed the shirt on top of Thor’s head.

     Confused, Thor lifted the shirt and looked over at Loki. 

     “Brother, I…” There it was, the desired effect. Thor stared at Loki’s bare chest as if he was lost in thought. Loki knew there was no thinking going on in that head. Not at the moment, at least.

     Poking out his chest a bit, Loki stretched his arms high and moaned a little. The moan was unnecessary but seeing Thor gulp at the sound of it was enough to make him do it again.  He dropped his hands to his hair and pulled it back away from his neck, twisting his body into another _stretch_.

     Thor stared. He stared as if there was nothing else in the universe that mattered. He couldn’t even pretend that it wasn’t Loki’s naked chest he was looking at. Was he like this every time Loki changed? Did he have to struggle to look away? Then again, Loki never really made a show about it before and usually dressed quite quickly. He began untying the sweatpants, noticing Thor’s eyes moving down to his hands. _Perfect. This is easier than I thought_. Loki grinned wickedly.

     Then suddenly, Thor coughed. Loki glanced up and noticed Thor looking away. _No, no, no._ Loki thought. _Look at me when I’m trying to seduce you!_

      “I need a shower.” His brother suddenly said retreating towards the bathroom. 

     How dare he try to run away! Loki almost felt like pouting childishly, but he was above that. He really thought that would work. He shook his head. There was no way he was going to give up. Not now. Not when he was so close.

     “Thank you for reminding me, brother.” Loki practically sang as he followed him. “I too require a shower. I heard Midgard is terribly frightened of running out of water. Perhaps we should shower together to save water?”

     “That’s unnecessary.” Thor squeaked. Loki did his best to look innocent and smile as if he didn’t just hear his brother’s voice crack. “You may shower first, brother.”

     “Are you sure? Do you not want to join me?” Loki dropped the last bit of clothing left, giving Thor a full view of his front. Thor immediately averted his eyes. But Loki knew he wanted to look. _Look at me, you coward!_

     “I’m sure.” Thor uttered as if it was taking everything he had to say those words. Quickly, he left Loki in the bathroom alone. He was even _considerate_ enough to close the door.

    Loki was livid. He practically threw himself at Thor. He made a complete fool out of himself and for what? A closed door? That was it! He was going to take a shower and he was going to enjoy his long shower. He’ll make sure it would be long enough that Thor would have no warm water left!

    Loki left the bathroom with a towel on and a fake, innocent smile. Of course, he _accidently_ dropped the towel as he walked directly in front of Thor. Before that moment, Loki never knew his brother could move so quickly. Thor leaped up and raced out of the room leaving a disappointed Loki behind. He would have continued to be upset about this, if he didn’t hear his brother shriek when he turned on the shower. No doubt he was experiencing a chill that Loki made sure he would feel. _That’s right. SUFFER._

    So, flaunting in front of him wasn’t going to work. He supposed Thor had plenty of time to see him unclothed. He never acted upon those moments before either. Most of the time he didn’t look interested. At least, not to Loki. Thor said he felt lustful towards him prior to the potion, so there shouldn’t be a difference. Yet, he seemed so interested now. Did Loki just not notice? The only real difference from then and now was that Loki was being very inviting about it. Still, his brother didn’t budge. _Too much practice at controlling himself_ , Loki supposed. Perhaps, he should play this a different way.

     When Thor came out of the bathroom, shivering with only a towel to warm him, Loki couldn’t help but enjoy how his muscles were held so tight. He didn’t even try to mask his obvious staring. He just sat back and enjoyed the show. Thor gave him a glance and Loki smiled back innocently. His brother’s face was rather red, but Loki couldn’t tell if it was a blush or natural reaction to the biting cold that had greeted him in the shower. 

     When they were done getting ready, they didn’t even speak a word to each other before entering the elevator. Loki could copy Natasha and press all the buttons on the elevator. They would be trapped together longer. Loki was sure he could entice his brother during their time together.

     He could push his brother against the wall of the elevator and assault his mouth like he had done to his. Thor would probably lose control then. He’d probably want to fight for dominance and would grab him tighter and deepen the kiss. The elevator wouldn’t stand a chance against their passion. It would probably break due to the roughness of their desires.

     “Brother, we’re here.” Thor pointed to the open doors and Loki couldn’t do anything but gape. When did the elevators get so speedy? They always failed to be before!

    Straightening up, Loki took a deep breath and walked out. Another plan immediately surfaced when he saw the mortal down the hall. Clint smiled at the sight of him. Thor was rather poor at controlling his jealousy. It was how he was able to get a taste of him the first time. Certainly, it would work again.

    “Ah! Clint,” Loki chirped enthusiastically. “So wonderful to see you. I have missed your company.”

    “I’ve missed yours as well.” Clint’s smile grew wider as he approached the two. Loki made a small glance at Thor, who was looking tense but otherwise unaffected.

    “Well, you must simply join us for breakfast.” Loki hurried to Clint’s side and wrapped an arm around his. The archer face completely brightened up more, Loki didn’t even think it was possible. He was absolutely euphoric. Slowly, he boldly slid his hand into Loki’s.

    “Breakfast? It’s closer to lunch now,” Clint teased.

    “Well, are you hungry?”

    “I could go for some brunch.”

    “I’m sure there are other things you can go for,” Loki purred, and it had the desired effect. Looking back, Thor glared but remained silent. He never stopped himself before. Why start now? _Come on!_ Loki growled in his head. _Pull me away!_

    “That too,” Clint chuckled obviously not noticing Thor’s death glare.

    Then a loud noise diverted their attention. Some lights were seen through the windows near the common room, but it wasn’t enough to know what had happened. Not to mortals, at least. Loki had grown too accustom to the sound to pretend he had no knowledge of it.

    The Bifrost had been activated.

    Clint softly pulled his arm from Loki’s grasp. With a small smile, he moved forward further down the hall away from the common area towards the bar and balcony.  When he reached the corner, his face visibly paled. Curious, Loki hurried to his side.

    Fandral pushed open the glass doors leading to the balcony with his foot as he held with one hand the rope wrapped around a pair of very impressive horns. Loki smiled wickedly. Clint might have not gained a reaction but Fandral most certainly would. 

    “Damnit,” the archer groaned. “I thought he died.”

    Loki looked over at him confused. Did he really dislike Fandral that much? He was somewhat impressed by how his old friend had made every other male in the tower his enemy. He remembered that Tony had wanted to fight him, Bruce apparently didn’t like him (given the knowledge of their argument), and Steve had been trying his best to remain polite afterwards proving he disliked him as well.

    Loki didn’t understand. Fandral could be annoying at times but he was ultimately a wonderful person.

    He wouldn’t have pinned for him for years if he wasn’t. Loki did have taste.

    Looking back at Thor, he watched his brother stupidly smile at Fandral and wave. Did he not have any sense of danger? Did he not know Fandral was back with the courting gift for Loki?

    Perhaps Loki did have questionable taste.

    “Well, I have a phone call to make,” Clint announced grabbing his phone from his pocket. “Keep my mind off annoying things.”

    “Send them my love.” Loki touched Clint’s shoulder fondly and the archer spared him a shy smile before leaving.

    “Fandral, my friend, what is this?” Thor placed a hand on the other Asgardian’s shoulder and for a moment, Loki thought he saw him wince. That wasn’t right? He must have been seeing things. The blonde warrior looked as happy as ever to see Loki. There was no way anything was amiss.

    “My love, I have returned with the horns you requested.” Fandral ripped himself away from Thor’s grasp, knelt and presented the horns to Loki.

    “These are much larger than I had anticipated.” Loki smiled wide as he touched the tips of the horns with his fingertips.

    “I found the largest male in all of Asgard to present such to you.”

    “Must have been dangerous.” Loki glanced over at his brother to see him rolling his eyes. Didn’t he worry that Loki may be wooed by such a gift?

    “I admit, I had help,” Fandral chuckled a little nervous. Loki looked down at him and smiled. Most warriors would never admit to help. In fact, he knew one that was in the room right now that never admitted he had help. No matter what Loki had done to aid him. In fact, that very warrior actually huffed in amusement after hearing Fandral’s admission. Did he think Loki would look down at something like that? Did he think there was no way Loki would fall for someone like that? Did he feel secure? Was that why he hadn’t pulled him away when he was talking to Clint? Was that why he was just rolling his eyes and huffing now?

     “Resourceful. I approve.” Loki reached out towards Fandral’s face and traced his jaw with his fingertips. The philanderer’s eyes grew soft with affection and a small blush graced his cheeks.

     “Allow me to keep your gift safe within my quarters until we leave back to Asgard.” He lifted himself up and bowed respectively before leaving.

     “I’ll be here,” Loki called out happily doing his best to ignore his brother until Fandral was out of sight. Strangely, Loki really didn’t know where Fandral was going. He wasn’t aware he had a room.

     Turning to Thor, he noticed his brother staring hard at the place Fandral once was a moment ago. Any moment now, he was going to break. Loki was sure of it. He just needed to give it the right push.

      “Isn’t it lovely that Fandral has returned? He even brought his courting gift,” Loki gushed keeping an eye on his brother’s reaction.

    “He required aid in defeating one biglesnipe,” Thor responded childishly.

     “Of course, you would have done so on your own?”

     “I could defeat a dragon on my own,” Thor informed him standing proudly.

     “So arrogant,” Loki teased with a small smile of amusement. “Do not forget, brother. That dragon in Alfheim, that had not only you but the warrior three and Sif fighting in earnest, was merely a juvenile.”

     “We were young then. Barely six centuries old,” Thor argued with a shrug. “It would be different now.”

     “You are but four centuries older.”

     “A lot can happen in four centuries. You know this to be true.”

     Loki sighed and shook his head. Thor wouldn’t be able to handle a dragon on his own. Not without the help of some extreme good luck. But of course, his brother would never admit he couldn’t. Loki wondered if he would be acting this way if Fandral hadn’t showed him the horns. Of course, he would. He was always like this.

    Loki didn’t understand. He thought for sure Fandral would push him past his breaking point. Perhaps he needed to be more physical with his targets. But he had wrapped his arms around Clint’s arm and Thor hadn’t responded. What was he doing wrong? Thor lost his temper so easily before.

     When they reached the kitchen, Steve was making himself a sandwich. Loki did the same as before and acted overjoyed to see the man. Steve reacted perfectly. He smiled shyly and blushed a little. Loki chatted with him and made sure to ignore Thor. When Thor asked Loki about what he wanted from the fridge, Loki made sure not to respond. He saw the growing anger behind his brother’s eyes. Any moment now.

     Loki noticed Steve’s sandwich and commented that he would love one as well. He pretended that he hadn’t heard his brother suggest such a thing before. It was kind of nice being the one doing the ignoring than the other way around. _Feel that anger, brother?_ Loki thought as he noticed Thor’s jaw tense when Steve offered to make Loki one as well. _That’s how it felt all those years._

     Those thoughts brought up the question Loki had played with once or twice before: When did Thor begin to love him? It certainly wasn’t before his coronation. It couldn’t have been. Thor barely acknowledged his contributions and always ignored whatever he said. Then that woman came and changed him. Thor chose Jane over Loki. He changed for her when he remained the same for him. He couldn’t have loved him then.

     What if this really was just something the potion created? What if Loki was doing all of this to get Thor’s attention only to be tossed away again?

     A sandwich was brought to his vision.

     “Steven, thank you for making me a sandwich.” Loki gently took it from his hand and smiled. “Everything you have given me has been very delicious.”

     Loki made sure to drop his voice a bit when he said those last words. This caused Thor to pay very close attention to the two of them. _Good._

     “W-W-Well, thanks.” Steve’s blushing face was still as adorable as ever. Then suddenly it paled. Loki was confused until he noticed the man wasn’t looking at him. Turning, Loki caught a small glance of Thor turning his face away. What did he do?  “I should probably go somewhere.”

     “Where?” Loki was confused. Steve glanced over at Thor again and then back at him.

     “Loki, do you-”

     “What a shame,” Thor spoke loudly sounding very inauthentic. In fact, as he continued to speak his tone gradually started to sound less friendly. “I verily believed you were going to join us. What with you deciding to make my brother’s meal and all.”

     “Are you alright?” Steve looked at Thor a little confused and slightly intimidated. Thor shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

     “Why wouldn’t I be?”

     “Do you need something, Loki?” There was worry in Steve’s glance and Loki couldn’t blame him. There was something hostile in the way Thor was looking at them.

     “Why would he?” Thor question this time in a way that made his anger very apparent.

     “It’s alright, my captain,” Loki assured him. This was what he wanted. It took him a while to get to this point, but Thor was right where he wanted him to be. “Don’t worry.”

     Steve didn’t look convinced. Loki knew from talking with the man that he had the terrible habit of wanting to stand up to people he thought were being bullies. No doubt Thor was making him feel that Loki was being treated badly. He probably wanted to stand his ground and fight the thunderer. Thor wasn’t going to calm down and though Loki didn’t want him to, the kitchen didn’t deserve to be destroyed over petty jealousy. The burden of calming things down laid with him.

     Before he could do anything, Fandral entered the room with a large smile on his face. This was bad. Fandral has only proven himself as one to make tense situations like this worse. Then again, he would distract from Steve and Thor getting upset with each other. Also, Thor might become angrier with two admirers in one room. This might be a great opportunity.

     “So, was it a gift worthy of you, my love?” Fandral squeezed past Steve and grabbed Loki’s hand. Loki swallowed the bit of sandwich he had bitten and nodded.

     “More than worthy.”

     This answer seemed to greatly please Fandral, who appeared like he had been the one to receive a gift and not the other way around. Thor glared at them both angrily, while Steve just looked confused. He supposed he would rather Steve not understand what his friend was talking about. It was probably better that way.

     Loki took another bite of his sandwich. It was absolutely delicious. He wasn’t sure if it was actually delicious or because it was his first meal of the day, he just thought it was. Perhaps Steve just had some amazing gift when it came to food and drink. He should start his own restaurant.

     “My darling, when we are wed, we can hang such horns above the mantle in our home,” Fandral suggested boldly. Loki had never said he agreed to the marriage. He just agreed to a gift. Just because he accepted the gift didn’t mean he accepted the wedding. Quickly, he glanced at his brother and saw his face harden. This could be used to his advantage. Thor would definitely be unable to control himself if he thought Loki may get stolen away. “We can tell our children about how I fought against the foul beast for you.”

     “I’m sure they will be thrilled to know their father is such an accomplished warrior,” Loki gushed keeping a watchful eye on Thor’s expression. He could see his brother tense at his words. He seemed to be struggling with himself. _Just let go._ Loki thought. _There’s no shame in it._

     “I think they will be more impressed that I was able to woo their beautiful mother.” Fandral kissed Loki’s finger tips and the prince glanced up to see his brother’s reaction. Instead of seeing Thor, he saw Steve looking a little hurt trying to exit the kitchen quickly. The mortal brushed passed Thor with a stuttered excuse and walked away quickly. Thor wasn’t even looking at Loki. Instead, he was watching Steve leave with an unreadable expression.

     That wasn’t right. That’s not what he wanted.

     He wanted Thor to be angry. He never intended Steve to get upset.

     It didn’t matter. Steve was the most mature out of all his admirers. He would be alright.

     He had to focus on the task at hand. He had to gain Thor’s attention back.

     “Oh, I think our children would find us to be a perfect match,” Loki swooned in a way that would make the best theatrical actors jealous.

     “That we are, my love.” Fandral moved closer to Loki. Perhaps he intended to kiss him. Perhaps he intended to merely whisper his sweet words in Loki’s ear. Either way, he was unable to do so because Thor finally spoke in a very dangerous tone.

      “Brother, may I speak with you?”

     “Forgive me. My brother requires my attention.” Loki moved away from Fandral and placed his sandwich down with a smile. This was exactly what he wanted. Thor would have no choice but to try and claim him. “I will return.”

     “I will be here waiting for you, my love.”

     With a satisfied smile, Loki practically pranced into the hallway. What was his brother going to do? Slam him against the wall again? _So violent._ Loki practically sang in his head. He was excited. He wouldn’t mind being held down by his brother at the moment. He had been practically begging for it all day. However, his brother did no such thing.

     “What are you doing?” Thor inquired with his arms over his chest.

     “What do you mean?” Loki didn’t understand. Why wasn’t he pressing him against the wall? Why wasn’t he pushing his face dangerously close to his? Was he afraid of losing control? Loki almost chuckled at the thought. He shouldn’t be afraid of it. He should just allow it to happen. Heimdall certainly already knew of his debauchery. Odin was probably well informed. So, what more did they have to lose?

     “You cannot possibly expect Fandral to marry you.” Thor was acting calm, but Loki could see he was barely holding on.

     “Do you think he would not wish to marry someone like me?” Loki asked mockingly. “You? I thought you had feelings for me, brother.”

     “Is that what this is? I reveal my heart to you and you wish to drive a dagger into it?” Thor’s voice was wavering. Did he really believe that? Loki was shocked. Didn’t he see that Loki had been trying to entice him earlier?

     “Do you think I am doing this merely to cause you pain?” Loki couldn’t believe it. He thought he made it quite obvious that he wanted Thor as well. It was Thor that tried to put a stop to it, not him. Thor pierced his heart first after proving he could bleed. It was true that he was teasing the others but that was only to light the flame beneath him. Couldn’t he see that? “I can tell you with the upmost certainty that that is not the case.”

     “Then you wish to marry him?” Thor simply didn’t get it. Were they even talking about the same thing? His brother seemed so focused only on the situation with Fandral. Did he not care about the others? Was he not jealous of them? “The potion will fade. After today there are only two days left. His heart will change.”

      “Will your heart change, brother?” Loki found himself asking softly.

     “My heart has never changed.”

     That was it. He was done talking to Thor. He couldn’t say things like that and expect Loki to just accept it. He couldn’t give him a taste of what he could have and deny him of it afterwards. If Thor didn’t understand how he felt, he would simply have to show him.

     Loki, in one fluid motion, wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and kissed him on the lips. His brother didn’t move at first, so Loki pulled him closer. Leaning back, he felt the wall behind him as he held onto his brother desperately. Thor still didn’t respond. When he finally did respond, there was only a moment of satisfaction before he pushed him against the wall and backed up. Loki looked at him in shock. Why did he push him away?

     Didn’t he want him?

     “I guess you just kiss everyone.” A broken voice sounded from near the elevator. “Even your own brother.”

     Loki looked over and saw Tony Stark wearing a very nice suit. It was unlike what he usually wore. This was something very classy. He was definitely dressed to impress. But it wasn’t the suit that caught his eyes the most. It was the look of absolute devastation that kept Loki’s attention. Tony stood there, trembling, looking between Thor and Loki. His eyes were filled to the brim and a look of disgust was starting to surface.

     “Anthony.”

     “I have a charity event to attend.” His voice was shaking as he lifted up one hand to silence him. That hand held two white pieces of paper. Tickets? Was Tony going to invite him to the event?

     He wouldn’t get to find out because Tony turned away and hurried towards the stairwell nearby.

     “Anthony, wait.” Loki tried to push past Thor but tripped over his brother’s foot and fell to his knees. He didn’t want this to happen. He never meant to hurt him.

     He wasn’t meant to care about any of them.

     Everything was going wrong. Thor rejected him. Tony was hurt. Loki didn’t know if he could do anything that didn’t hurt someone. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was all his fault. Maybe everything really was his fault.

     “Brother?”

      Thor tried to touch his shoulder, but Loki flinched away from him. How dare he try to touch him! He rejected him. He pushed him away. After everything that he made Loki feel, he was throwing him away. His feelings wouldn’t change? What lies. What beautiful lies that Loki almost was a fool to believe. He truly understood how Tony felt. That look of devastation the mortal held on his face so bravely was everything Loki felt inside.

     No one deserved to feel that way.

     “Stay away from me,” Loki growled and pushed himself onto his feet. He had to make this right. He had to do something.

      It didn’t take him long to find out what event Tony was going to. It was all over the news. Even if he didn’t ask Jarvis, he would have known where it was. He had to go there and explain himself. What would he say? There wasn’t anything he could to make this right. He didn’t love Tony, but he didn’t want him to hurt like this. He had to do something.

     It was all his fault.

     Everything was. Thor must have seen how disgusting he truly was. No amount of love potion could make his brother truly love something like him. That had to be it. Everything he touched was ruined. He ruined Tony. He ruined everything.

     It was a terrible idea. If Loki gave himself more time to think, he would not have done it. It was dangerous to go in public with the potion still working. He tried masking himself but even though they couldn’t see him, men looked everywhere for whatever was drawing their attentions. He should have noticed their confusion. Should have been more cautious but he couldn’t. He just had to fix things.

     Tony was nowhere to be found at the party. Loki started to wonder if he even went to the event. Perhaps he didn’t. Perhaps he was somewhere, no one knew, hurting alone. Hurting because of him.

      The lights dimmed, and a spotlight appeared on the stage. A woman excitedly spoke on about whatever mundane cause this gala was for. She talked about things that Loki would rather not listen to and was about to leave when he heard her mention Tony. She talked about how his company had donated the most out of all their contributors and went on to introduce him.

     Loki’s breath got caught in his throat, when he saw Tony slowly make his way to the stage. The billionaire weakly shook her hand and gave her a smile that couldn’t fool anyone. It was absolutely heartbreaking. When he arrived at the podium, he looked out into the crowd. He wouldn’t see Loki. He was still hidden from anyone’s gaze.

     “I don’t even know why I’m here anymore.”  Tony barely uttered in a shaky voice. He looked down at the podium and shook his head. “Excuse me.”

     Loki pushed through the crowd as Tony exited the stage towards a very worried looking Pepper. He didn’t say a word to her as he hurried away from the sight of everyone. Loki followed. He didn’t know what good it would do, but he had to make sure he was alright.

     This wasn’t for the weapon.

     This wasn’t in order to use Tony any further.

     Loki didn’t understand why he cared so much. Tony was always the most forward of all his admirers. He flirted shamelessly and was equally perverse. He bought him gifts and that was one thing Loki couldn’t complain about but that wasn’t why Loki cared. He cared because Tony had genuinely cared for him. He helped him out during his argument with Thor. He shared his personal story when he thought it would aid Loki in some way. He, somehow, became a friend to him.

 _“You aren’t the only one that can feel hurt or ignored. You aren’t the only one who can feel pain_.”

     When Steve told him that he didn’t listen. He didn’t think about what he could possibly be doing but the mortal knew this would happen, didn’t he? He saw Loki teasing and playing around and knew he would hurt someone. Loki had been foolish thinking everything would be fine. He thought he would play with the feelings of the Avengers and not have any repercussions. He didn’t even imagine that they could feel anything close to the despair he could. He was selfish. He was cruel.

_“I can’t believe I love you.”_

     Loki couldn’t believe any of them could hold feelings for someone like him. It was the potion and he knew it wouldn’t last. There were only a few days left. After the potion faded who would still love him? Would Thor? He pushed him away. He told him he loved him, but it must have been the potion. He must have broken through its hold and wanted him no longer. And at this moment, Loki couldn’t blame him.

      He found Tony in a small room alone. He was sitting on a chair with one hand covering his eyes. His shoulders quivered ever so often. No doubt he was either crying or trying his best to hold it back.

     “Tony, what’s wrong?” Pepper entered the room shortly after. Without her seeing him, Loki had to move quickly out of her way. She was dressed beautifully but didn’t seem to give any care to her attire as she knelt by his side.

     “I’m sick, Pepper. I’ve been affected by a love potion and I know it, but it feels so real,” Tony sobbed barely able to say his words without his voice giving way. “It hurts. Why does it hurt so much?”

     Pepper gasped looking utterly heartbroken. She lifted herself up and pulled Tony towards her, cradling him like a mother to a child. Did she know? Did Tony tell her about the love potion already? About him? Did she know what Loki had done to the man she loved?

     “Don’t cry. I love you, Tony.” She petted his hair as the man clung to her desperately. “I love you.”

     Loki watched the scene play out feeling properly guilty. Everything he had done after the potion took hold raced through his mind. He used them, all of them. He thought he could use the humans without a problem. They were mortals that he never really thought much of before. He thought them similar to animals not realizing what they truly were. They were people just like him. They had hearts just like him and he broke them. He caught his reflection in a small mirror in the room and saw himself for what he really was: A monster.

      No wonder Thor rejected him.

      Who could love someone like him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I first thought of this story, I asked my dad what would be an EVIL thing Loki could do to Tony Stark if he could have him do whatever he wanted. My dad is a big comic fan since childhood, so I bounce ideas on him. He knows the premise of the fanfiction. He doesn't know about the pairings but he kinda knows a bit about it.
> 
> Dad didn't give me an actual answer but he did say he wanted to see this : "Tony goes to an event, goes to the podium and says "I don't know why I'm here anymore" and just leaves"
> 
> Then I figured that could only happen if Tony was heartbroken.  
> Blame us both but he put the thought into my head!


	32. It's Only What Your Waiting For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki does some soul searching, tries to make things right and gets some advice.

     Loki did a lot of thinking that night. He sat on top of the tower mulling over everything that had happened. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. His admirers were supposed to adore him only. They weren’t supposed to make him care for them. They weren’t supposed to make hurt expressions like that.

     Loki was sure each one of them was hurting in someone way and it was all his fault.

     That night, he snuck into his and Thor’s room around midnight. The lights were already off and he didn’t want to bother his older brother by turning them on. Gently, he felt for his end of the bed and slowly entered it. He kept to the edge as to not disturb Thor. He wanted to just sleep and not have to face anything. Not have to see that face that claimed to adore him but push him away.

     He didn’t even realize he couldn’t hear Thor’s snoring.

     When he awoke, the room was clean as it had been since the last time he hurt Thor. That was what it was wasn’t it? He hurt his brother and now he wanted nothing to do with him. Loki was only trying to make him jealous. He didn’t think it would cause his brother to believe he wanted to hurt him. But that was what he believed, wasn’t it?

     Loki sighed and got dressed robotically. He didn’t even pay attention to the missing clothing from the closet.

     “You should leave.” Was the first thing Tony uttered when Loki showed up in his lab.

     “Anthony, I never meant-“

     “Save it.” Tony lifted one hand and shook his head. He walked past Loki to the table in the center picking up a scepter. It wasn’t the one Loki used before. This one was new, beautifully crafted and proof that Loki was too cruel. “You just wanted me to make this for you, right? Well, here it is.”

     “It’s beautiful.” Loki allowed Tony to drop it into his hands. It was light weight. Easy to wield and before Tony even began explaining it, he knew it would be amazing.

     It was of a similar design to his scepter, probably because of the aesthetics. It did not hold within it an infinity stone, but it was powerful. Tony explained how it could shoot blasts but also deflect and absorb them. He continued on about how he could charge it up with absorbed energy for a huge attack or just bat energy back at an enemy. It was very powerful. Perhaps too powerful. Loki felt unworthy of it.

     “It can also shield you, so you won’t have to waste magic on that. It surrounds you with a shield to protect you from pretty much anything. Also-”

      “Anthony. Forget the weapon.” Loki tried to give it back to the billionaire, but he just roughly pushed it back.

     “I slaved over this thing and you used me for it so I’m going to explain it.”

     “Anthony.” Loki sighed and looked down at the evidence of his cruelty. He did use Tony for this. He seduced him and dangled himself in front of him as if this was all a game. He deserved the mortal’s ire. “I’m very impressed, I assure you.”

     Tony nodded and turned from him. He started pretending that there was something on his computer that was vastly more interesting than the god in front of him. Loki supposed he was trying to put on a brave face. Trying to pretend he hadn’t cried last night because of him.

     If Loki was so horrible, how could Tony even fancy him? How could he even present him with such a beautiful weapon, knowing how monstrous Loki truly was? Was it the potion? He knew it caused them to love him but why? Did they have reasons? Or was it just an overwhelming feeling of affection?

     “What do you like about me?” Loki found himself asking.

     “Everything.” Tony almost whispered in a shaky voice. There was no hesitation. There was no need to think about his feelings. He said it with a conviction that Loki could barely understand. As if it was the only truth in the universe.

     “And this woman, Pepper?”

    “I was in love with her. Still am.” Tony nodded and smiled sadly. “Like I said before.” He turned to face Loki and pointed a finger to himself. “Hypocrite.”

    In the past, Loki would have used that fact to absolve himself of any blame. After all, Tony was in love with more than one person. So, how was he to blame Loki for kissing him and Thor? However, no matter how much Loki would have loved to believe that, he couldn’t. He did indeed use Tony and it wasn’t the billionaire’s fault that he loved them his lady and Loki. The love potion was just that well made.

    Tony sighed and shook his head.

     “I slept with her that night. It’s why I didn’t return and-”

    “I don’t blame you. I’m not easy to love,” Loki broke in hastily. Tony didn’t need to explain himself.

    “No, you’re not,” The mortal responded brokenly.

    “This potion should be losing its effect soon,” Loki assured him. Tomorrow was the last day. Hopefully, they wouldn’t remember the pain Loki caused them. There were good memories too, but Loki supposed it would be alright if he was the only one to remember them. “Will you still love me after it is gone?”

    “I hope I don’t,” Tony sniffed and turned towards his computer. “I hope I feel nothing.”

    Loki watched as the man tried desperately to pretend there was something he was doing on the computer. However, Loki could see it was just schematics for a suit he was sure Tony already built. In fact, when he looked over to his side, he could see the very suit already a part of his collection. One could argue that Tony was trying to upgrade it, but Loki knew he was just trying to distract himself.

    He walked forward, reaching out as if to try and comfort the mortal but the man lifted his hand to stop him.

    “Don’t.”

    “Anthony, you’ve exceeded all my expectations.” Loki felt like the scepter was getting heavier in his hands.

    “Good for me huh?” Tony’s voice trembled, and Loki could see he was trying his best to hold himself together.

    “I wish things were different.”

    “Yeah, me too.”

    He couldn’t take Tony’s hard work. Not after everything that happened. He laid the scepter back on the table softly and looked back at the mortal. The man didn’t budge. He didn’t want to take it because that would be like a reward for hurting him. It would make Loki feel like in the end, he didn’t care about using him. But he did care. It wasn’t about the weapon and he proved it by leaving it behind.

    After some sneaking around, he found himself in Tony’s apartment. He had to make things right in the only way he knew how. He found Pepper in the kitchen sipping on coffee. He approached the room cautiously as she glanced at him warily from her cup.

    “Lady Pepper.”

     “What do you want?”

     “I know I may not be your favorite person.”

     “To be honest, you never were.” Pepper placed her mug on the counter top and folded her arms over her chest.

     “The potion will be ending shortly. His pain will lessen,” Loki tried assuring her, but it didn’t alleviate the anger in her eyes.

     “I’d ask you how you could use someone so cruelly, but I doubt this is really the worst you have done.”

    That stung and unfortunately, wasn’t untrue. Loki had started many terrible things in his time. Some innocents were dead because of actions he may have had a hand in. The property damage that he had caused alone probably hurt many people. In fact, Loki had never really thought about any of that until today. How many people were homeless because he chose to have a giant spider attack the city? Probably best not to dwell on it.

    But he never worried about such things because they never bothered him. This was different. He never felt as guilty as he did now. Despite everything he had ever done, Loki couldn’t help but feel he had done worse than he ever had before.

    “On contrary, I believe this to be the worst I’ve ever done,” he told her honestly. She nodded thoughtfully but there was a hint of skepticism in her eyes.

     Shrugging, she picked up her mug again and sipped it. Was that it? Did she have nothing more to accuse him of? Was she not going to argue with him? Loki sighed and reached into one of his suit pockets. This wonderful suit that Anthony had purchased for him. Fitted perfectly to him and there were many hidden pockets in the vest. Perfect for someone like him. It was thoughtful.

     “Here.” He placed a roll of paper next to the mortal woman, who eyed it curiously.

     “What is this?”

    “Schematics.”

    “For what?”

     “For a machine Doom was thinking of creating. I took it on a whim once. He no doubt scrapped the plan since he probably noticed its absence from his planning room.”

     “So, what use is it?” Pepper grabbed the roll and opened it up. Her eyes darted over the whole thing clearly fascinated by the design. Doom was an artist. He created the most interesting toys. If they weren’t on opposite sides, Loki was sure Tony and Doom could have made something absolutely amazing together. Their minds were quite superior to other mortals.

     “A glimpse into his mind I suppose.”

     “I thought you two worked together? Why are you betraying him like this?” Pepper peered up from the paper with a suspicious glare.

     “Trust me, he would do the same to me if it benefited him.”

     “Why give this to me?”

     “Anthony is not willing to accept anything from me. Besides I owe you an apology.” Loki took a deep breathe to prepare himself.  “I kissed him. I-”

     “Tony already told me. I don’t want to hear it.” Pepper waved the paper frantically in front of her. Turning away, she sighed. “He’s a good man. He didn’t deserve to be led around like that.”

     “I know,” Loki admitted wistfully. “Anthony is lucky to have you.”

     “Thanks.” Pepper rolled up the paper and gestured it towards Loki. With a nod of acknowledgement, Loki blinked out of the apartment and into the common room.

     He was hoping to find his brother but instead he found Steve reading the paper as if the article was personally attacking his character. Loki couldn’t have him reading such upsetting news. He grabbed the top of the paper pulling it down to reveal himself to the mortal.

     “Steven,” he spoke softly. “May I ask you a question?”

     “Can I ask you one first?”

     Loki didn’t know what Steve was going to ask. He hadn’t anticipated that the man had anything to worry about. Then again, he did look hurt yesterday.

     “Of course.”

     “Are you really going to marry Fandral?”

     Loki knew there was a chance he could be upset by the conversation he and his friend had. He could understand. If Thor was talking to Jane about marriage, he would have been absolutely livid. He probably would do things he would live to regret in the future. Thankfully, Steve did not have Loki’s temper.

      “Fandral is nice and mother approves of him.” Loki understood that telling his parents that he was uninterested may create chaos. Then again, Heimdall has probably explained his perversion to them already. Would they force him to marry Fandral? “He is Asgardian and he is a good warrior. He knows me…”

     “Do you love him?”

     “No.” Loki could finally admit that any trace of love he once felt for Fandral was long gone. He couldn’t even imagine him ever bringing those feelings back. It was over.

     “Then don’t marry him,” Steve told him as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Perhaps it was.

     Loki wouldn’t be forced to marry Fandral if he never showed up on Asgard. Also, if he and Thor did have a relationship, he doubted Thor would allow them to dictate who Loki could marry. Knowing Thor, he would probably end up banished again and he and Loki would have to make do on Midgard. Wouldn’t be the first time for him and besides, was it really that terrible of thing?

     Didn’t matter because Thor rejected him. He pushed him away and Loki still didn’t really know the reason why. He had wanted to go back to being brothers before. Perhaps it had nothing to do with how Loki behaved. Maybe Thor was afraid of what others thought of him, for the first time in his life. Loki couldn’t be sure.

     “Do you love me?” Loki ended up asking Steve, but he really wanted to ask Thor. He wanted him to explain to him why he pushed him away.

      “Yeah,” Steve responded simply. “I know something happened between you and Tony. I don’t know what it is, but he seems broken about it. I know you don’t love me, but I was hoping maybe one day…”

     “The effects of the potion are nearing its end.” Loki couldn’t have Steve hoping that Loki would change his mind one day. The only mind that would change would be Steve’s once he was free of the potion. It was better that way. “Will you still love me after it is gone?”

     “I don’t know but I do know I will never regret loving you,” Steve told him honestly. “You deserve to be loved.”

     Deserve to be love? Him? Loki smiled bitterly at the thought. If anyone deserved to be loved in this tower, it was Steve. It was Clint, Bruce, Tony, Thor and even Natasha. It was not him. He hurt to many people to deserve anything. That was who he was. It was just in his nature, wasn’t it? The only thing he deserved were the chains awaiting him in Asgard.

     “Even after everything I’ve done?”

     “I like to believe in second chances.” Steve placed his paper down and stood up. “You regret the things in the past?”

     “More than anything.” Loki couldn’t lie about that. He was beginning to regret everything. He regretted knocking into Amora. He regretted having the potion fall on him. He regretted thinking it would be wonderful to seduce them all. He regretted talking to them and beginning to care for them all. There were too many more regrets to even list.

     “Then, yes. Even after everything, you deserve to be loved,” Steve said it with such conviction that Loki almost believed him.

      But he knew better than that. He deserved nothing. He understood why Asgard demonized him so much. They probably knew what he would become.

     “People can change, Loki.” Steve brought him away from such melancholy thoughts. He brought him back to the tower. Back to reality.  “For the better. Even you. You aren’t some villain in a children’s book. You are living, breathing and capable of growth.”

     “But what if I’m too late?”

     “It is never too late.”

     Never too late. Loki hadn’t considered it at all. He had been so used to being trapped in his own pain, he never considered doing anything else. When he was lied to, he lashed out. When that caused them to react, he buried himself further into his own pain and lashed out again. He remembered Tony’s words to him about how he would act out when he felt empty which only made him feel emptier.

     “ _A fucked up vicious cycle.”_

     They truly were more similar than they were different. Loki lashed out because of his pain, which only caused pain to others. They rightfully hurting would lash out in kind, causing Loki to feel more hurt. But Steve was offering him something different. He told him he could change for the better. He could break away from such a terrible cycle and Loki wanted to believe him.

      It was a shame he didn’t love the mortal. A shame he didn’t love any of his admirers passed that of friendship. They were such good people and didn’t deserved to be led on by someone like him. As he left the common room, not really knowing where he would even go now, he saw Fandral leaning against the corner nearby.

     Did he hear their conversation?

     “My fair prince.” Fandral’s smile was joyous but not the same as it once before. He had to have heard. It was better this way. He couldn’t lead Fandral on any longer.

     “Fandral, you are bewitched,” Loki explained. “This flirting will only cause you more problems in the future.”

     “Yes, but it feels so sweet. Even when this enchantment ends, I hope to never lose this joyous feeling in my heart.”

     Fandral reached out to grab Loki’s hand but the prince pulled back.  He expected to see the warrior look upset but instead he just seemed pensive. It was odd. He supposed Fandral was the one to laugh off insults and brighten others’ days. He never was the gloomy type, but something was a little off about him.

     “You must know I had such feelings for you before.”

     “What?” Loki was taken aback. Sure, his mother alluded to it, Loki suspected it but never had he anticipated hearing Fandral admit it.

     “I loved you when we were mere boys, but I was afraid to say anything.”

     When they were boys? Was it during or before their more formative years? Could it be that they both loved each other at the same time?

     “Why? Did you not see how I reacted around you?” Loki didn’t understand. He wasn’t good at lying back then. He hadn’t perfected the art. Surely, Fandral had to suspect something. “Did you not know of my feelings?”

      “Perhaps I was too blind. Too afraid of rejection. Too afraid of staining my name.” Despite him saying that, he must have found out about how Loki felt. Perhaps someone told him when they were older as a joke or Fandral realized something was off with how Loki behaved around him. It didn’t matter. Fandral acknowledged it which meant they most likely loved each other at the same time. They loved each other but never got together out of fear. “I worried excessively over the opinions of others.”

     “That I know.”

     “I wish I hadn’t.”

     If Fandral was braver, Loki would have happily thrown himself into the philanderer’s arms. If he had courted Loki then, they would have both been very happy. But he didn’t. Fandral was too afraid of the words of others and never approached Loki in that way. Instead, he focused on maidens that were more acceptable to the people of Asgard. Did he simply use them to forget his feelings for Loki? It wasn’t like Loki hadn’t done the same. He took multiple partners after he realized Fandral was never going to be his. They desperately tried to scrub the other out of their hearts. In the end, what could have been never was.

      And it never will be.

     Loki held no more feelings for Fandral. Any corner of his heart that was once occupied by the handsome warrior was replaced with feelings for another. Thor was in almost every corner of his heart and in his mind. He was far too gone now. Had fallen off the boat of his sanity and deep into the depravity of a relationship with his own brother. But he could not resist its glorious hold. He didn’t want to.

     “Friend, that is all in the past,” Loki decided.

     “Indeed, it is,” Fandral mused with a soft smile. One that didn’t even try to reach his eyes. “Perhaps my gift should have been given to you by someone else.”

     “I beg your pardon?”

     “Nothing, my love.” Fandral’s smile broadened and he slapped a strong hand on Loki’s should. A gesture of friendship. Certainly, not one a person would do to their beloved. “Do cheer up. Your smile has always enchanted me.”

     Loki would have faked a smile simply to ease him, but he just didn’t feel like lying to him any longer. He didn’t love him. He didn’t want to marry him. They would only ever remain friends.

     His thoughts easily drifted back to his brother as they always did. Thor had been on his mind even before the potion took hold. Back then it had been because of jealousy and a need to be seen as his equal. Now, it was only because he wished to see him. He wanted to speak to him and find out why he didn’t want to pursue things further with him. He wanted to talk to him.

     But they were never really good at talking. Every time they tried it always ended in an argument. Loki didn’t want to argue anymore. He just wanted to understand and be understood himself. Perhaps it would have been better if they were born Midgardian. Humans loved talking about their feelings.

      When he entered the room later that evening, he noticed his brother was nowhere to be found. Usually, Thor would be in the room seeing as there wasn’t much else to do. Yet, he wasn’t in the bathroom or on his favorite couch down the hall.

      He had to come back eventually. Where else would he sleep?

      Time passed, and Thor still hadn’t returned.

      Was he avoiding the room on purpose? How childish! Loki thought him braver than that. He should come in and face Loki like a warrior!

      Loki decided to choose his sleeping clothes carefully. If he was going to talk to his brother tonight, he wanted to look nice.

      Upon opening the closet, he noticed what he previously hadn’t that morning: A good portion of Thor’s clothing was missing.  Turning to the drawers, Loki pulled them open to see that his brother had taken his underwear as well. He had left.

      He had ran away from the tower.

_That absolute **COWARD!**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter which should be up in a few hours will finally have Thor and Loki talk.


	33. You Never Did Notice But You Still Hide Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki sulks but Natasha snaps him out of it and gets him to talk to Thor.
> 
> And they do more than talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was added shortly after chapter 32.

       He left him. The fool actually left. Was he even still on Midgard? Did he think Loki wouldn’t chase him back to Asgard? Odin would do his best to put him in chains and perhaps Loki would deserve it. But he wouldn’t be locked away before he said everything he had to say.

     Would he?

     Thor could still be on Midgard. Maybe he went back to his mortal woman. Was she still in the city? Loki pouted. He was sitting on the roof top again, so he doubted anyone would see his expression. No need to hold back. Thor wouldn’t leave him for her, would he?

     “Well, that’s something you don’t see every day.” Natasha’s voice made him jump once more. How did she always know he was up here?

     “Please, my torment is an average day here,” Loki lamented.

     “You really think that?”

    “Since I came here, nothing has gone right.”

     “Perhaps. But I don’t think that has to do solely with us.”

      Was she blaming him for everything as well? Loki couldn’t believe this. Well, he could. Everyone seemed to blame him and now he was seeing that he probably deserved their blame. But he had erroneously believed Natasha to be on his side. After all, she had been so helpful before.

     “Tomorrow the potion ends. You’ll have Bruce all to yourself,” Loki told her bitter over her accusation.

     “Cute,” Natasha responded flatly. “But Bruce isn’t what’s bugging you.”

      “I hurt people. I suppose it is only fair that I am hurt in kind.” This was what she wanted right? She was already blaming him. Might as well accept that everything was his fault and he deserved this.

     “What are you talking about?” Natasha gave him a look that clearly indicated that somehow Loki misinterpreted her. “Tony? He’s a big boy, he’ll get over it. Once the potion is gone, he’ll be fine.”

     “I’ve hurt more than Anthony. I thought it would be fun to have so many focused on me, but I never imagined that I could-”

     “What were you supposed to do?” Natasha broke in. “Date every single one of them? That would just hurt them more.”

      Why was Natasha like this? Why did she have to question everything he said? Why did he feel like she always had a point? Loki dropped his head into his hands and sighed.

     “I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”

     “That’s a first,” Natasha commented amused. “Aren’t you wondering where Thor is?”

     “He left because of me.”

     “He didn’t leave.” Loki looked up at Natasha confused. The room was void of his things. Of course, he left. Where to, Loki did not know. “He’s just being a big baby elsewhere.”

     Wasn’t that the very definition of leaving? Not being where you were before? Loki also didn’t like the fact that Natasha had called him a big baby. His brother was many things, and Loki was quite angry with him. He was also hurt and confused. In fact, he could insult him all day if he wanted to, but that was Loki’s right not hers. Thor could be childish, but he hardly deserved to be insulted by her. 

     “I tracked him down for you,” she spoke again confusing Loki even further.

     “But I didn’t ask.”

     “You don’t have to ask. I hate how the two of you don’t actually talk to each other.”

     “Talking wasn’t ever really our family’s strong suit.”

      “Well, start making it that way.” She sighed and tapped on his shoulder. Gesturing, she tried to convince him to stand up. Cautiously, Loki picked himself up.  She looked out into the city making a slight jerk with her head to signal the direction to look. “He’s at a hotel on west 57th street. His buddy got him a room there.”

     Buddy? All of Thor’s friends were in this tower, except. Suddenly there was a bad taste in Loki’s mouth. Were his other mortal friends still visiting? Did that mean that buddy was really that woman? Did he really run into her arms like Loki had feared?

     “Is he rooming with her?” Loki couldn’t hide the bitterness in his tone. He couldn’t mask the sheer anger he felt.

     “Jealousy. Cute,” Natasha said amused. “No, he’s in a room by himself. I’ll take you there.”

      “Do you think that wise?” The potion was still in effect. Even if it was the last day, he could still seduce any man he came across.

     “It’s the last day, what’s the worst that can happen?”

     She simply had no idea how powerful the potion was. Even on its last day, it worked as well as ever.

     As Natasha drove him towards the hotel, Loki viewed from his window yet another driver almost hitting the car in front of him. Why? Because the man was far too preoccupied staring at Loki’s beauty. Loki had witnessed bikers try desperately to come next to the car, only to fall over. Cars almost crash and one or two pedestrians trying desperately to follow the car from the sidewalk.

     “That’s the fifth mortal that almost crashed because of me.”

     “First off, it’s not that hot that you need to keep a window open.” Natasha pressed a button beside her and the window began to close almost trapping Loki’s hair inside it. She could have given him some warning. “We are in New York and this car has a/c. Secondly, stop looking at them.”

     “What am I supposed to look at?”

     “The road.”

     “I’m not the one driving,” Loki argued childishly.

     “Loki, I swear to God.” Natasha clutched the steering wheel tighter.

     “You believe in a god?” Loki feigned surprise but only received a cold look in response. Clearing his throat, Loki looked away. “I get bored easily,” he whined.

     Natasha took a deep breath and sighed very audibly.

     “I’m a saint,” she muttered.

     They arrived in front of a large building with a black, square canopy almost reaching the end of the sidewalk. It was held up by two equally dark poles, but they were thin, and Loki wondered how it was holding such a large box like object. It didn’t stand out. It blended in with the ones attached to it like most places in the city. Certainly not a place for a prince of Asgard.

     He took a moment to send his mind through the building. He just needed to know the layout of the place. If he was going to teleport in there, he needed to know where he would end up.

      “He’s in room 112.” Natasha went to unlock the doors, apparently, she had made sure Loki couldn’t open his door. It was very untrusting on her end. What did she think he was? A child? Before she could press the button, Loki blinked out and into one of the corridors.

     No doubt she was irritated by that move, but it was better than approaching the street with so many men walking around. Loki could handle himself, but he really didn’t need to if he could just blink away. He looked around. Room 110. Room 108. Turning around, he walked the other way. Room 112.  

     He knocked. He heard some shuffling towards the door but then shuffling away. Was he ignoring him?

    “Cease being a coward and open this door.” Loki banged on the door with minimal strength. He wasn’t going to break the door, yet.

     No response.

     “I warn you, brother. I can very well break it down,” he threatened.

    “You’d be obligated to pay for it, brother.” Thor’s voice sounded distant. “They charge extra for damages.”

     “Do you think I mind?” Loki banged on the door a little harder causing the wood to make a cracking sound in protest.

     “Woah, what is the commotion out here.” A woman’s voice beside him caught his attention. She was a rather short mortal. Then again, most mortals were short. She had long dark hair and a tired look on her face.

     “None of your business, mortal.”

     “This mortal has a name, it’s Darcy.”

     Lady Darcy? So, this was the woman that recommended the movie about the boat. Loki had plenty of things he wished to tell her about that event. He had many problems with the ending of that film, but it would simply have to wait. He had more pressing matters to attend to. He banged on the door again, but Thor still didn’t respond.

     “Okay, you must be Loki,” Darcy concluded. “Why are you here?”

     “Isn’t it obvious? I wish to speak to my brother.”

     “So, you can tease him more and make him think he has a chance?”

     “What?” Loki was taken aback. She was a rather brave mortal, wasn’t she?  It really wasn’t any of her business what he was doing. Besides, it was nothing like that.

     “Thor said you have been teasing every member of the Avengers. Flirting with everyone.”

     “But I did my best to show him that it was he I desired above all.” Loki didn’t know why he was arguing with the woman. He didn’t even know her and cared little of her opinion of him. But what she was insinuating was simply false.

     “You did?”

     “I kissed him.”

     “And? I heard you kissed Tony Stark too.” She was correct about that, but Loki didn’t care for that man in the same manner he did for Thor. “What’s a guy to think when you are being a slut?”

     A what?!

    “How dare-”

     “Look man, I’m not slut shaming. I’m just saying you aren’t giving monogamous vibes and from what I hear you are just fooling around. What’s a guy to think?”

     Loki had played with the idea before. He had thought that maybe his attempts at making Thor jealous backfired terribly. However, he didn’t think it was to the point that his brother would liken him to a whore. Did his brother say that or was this Darcy’s words? Did it matter?

     “He thinks I’m not serious.” Loki thought out loud. “He thinks that I would cross a line that none of us can return from on a whim, as a joke?”

     “It’s not like that?” She honestly believed it too. She didn’t even know him!

     “You believe that as well?”

    “I only have Thor’s side of the story.”

     So, Thor was the one that convinced her he was some sort of man of ill repute? Considering the things he had done, he couldn’t really blame his brother from reaching that conclusion. But it still bothered him.

     “Does he really think that little of me?”

     “No, I think the world of you.” Thor’s voice was soft and pitiful. He had cracked open the door some time during Loki’s argument with his friend. Loki was unsure how much of the conversation he had heard. “I always have.”

     “Am I allowed in now?”

     Thor opened the door wider and gestured for him to enter. Loki wasted no time entering. He wasn’t going to allow him to change his mind any time soon. He looked back into the hall and saw Darcy looking between them.

     “Well, you guys have a lot to talk about. I’m just going to get some more free coffee from the lobby.” She shrugged and waved lazily at them. “Have fun.”

     “Thank you, lady Darcy,” Thor spoke before closing the door quietly.

     “No more running away,” Loki told him, and Thor shook his head.

     “You dare say that to me?”

     “Yes, I dare. If it hadn’t escape your notice, I am not running.”

     “Nor am I.”

     The room was quite small. Much smaller than their quarters back at the tower. How Thor could stand such closed quarters was beyond him. At least the décor was nicer. But that wasn’t important. What was important was getting Thor to understand that he was sincere. Loki didn’t just risk everything as a joke.

     “Why did you not tell me how you felt?” Loki asked as he watched Thor pretend to be really interested in his suitcase. When did he even get a suitcase?

     “Why didn’t you?”

     “I was practically throwing myself at you.”

     “In the exact same manner you threw yourself at your other admirers.” Thor turned to look at him hard. “How am I to know I am different?”

     “Brother…” Loki wished there was something he could say but he realized there wasn’t. He had a point. Loki had acted the same with his admirers though he felt nothing for them. Thor had no idea if he was being genuine or not.

     “I wish I could trust you,” Thor lamented pitifully. Loki sighed. This was getting nowhere.

     “Trust this.” He grabbed his brother’s hand and placed it on his chest. Thor looked at him confused and removed his hand immediately. Why didn’t that work? Loki had seen it in that same movie he watched with the dinner date. It worked for them. “Brother.”

     “No tricks?”

     “No tricks,” Loki repeated and then smiled mischievously. “I don’t promise that I won’t trick you in the future. You know me.”

     “I do know you and yet, I still love you.”

     “I know.” Loki’s heart felt like it had grown too warm for his chest. He couldn’t believe how absolutely giddy he was over words he had heard his brother say before. But this time, the meaning was different. It was stronger, and Loki finally allowed himself to believe every word of it.

     “Say it back.” Thor’s demand caught Loki off guard.

     “Now, now. Don’t be selfish,” he teased.

     “It’s not selfish to want to hear it.” Thor pouted like an absolute child and it was adorable. Loki wanted to kiss those lips so badly.

     “I love you. Better, brother?”

     “To be honest, no,” Thor said that but the brightness that showed on his face said otherwise. “But we are getting there.”

     “Perhaps I can persuade you to trust me more.” Loki approached Thor slowly with a heated look in his eyes. A heated look that Thor definitely noticed because he soon mirrored it.

     “I might need a lot of persuasion,” Thor teased, smiling softly. “You lie so often.”

     “Oh yes.” Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist and pulled him close. “For my many lies I may have to earn your trust-” He moved his head forwards and kissed his brother’s jaw line, “over-” a kiss on the neck, “and over again.”

     Thor chuckled, and it was like that sound alone made everything right in the world. Easily, his older brother wrapped his arms around Loki’s thin back and drew him into a deep kiss. Loki sighed in relief against those burning lips. He allowed his brother to explore his mouth, take his time in tasting him as his hands traced the curves of his brother’s back. This was all that mattered. This was worth everything.

     Thor’s warm hands traced the curves of his sides. They left a burning sensation on Loki’s skin. A sensation he felt pooling below. Then those hands dipped lower and soon Loki found his brother slipping beneath his pants line, pawing at his behind. At first it was enjoyable but then those fingers moved too dangerously close to-

     “What are you doing?” Loki pushed Thor back a bit. His brother looked at him flushed and confused.

     “I thought this was where we were headed.”

     “Yes, but it will be I that enters you.” Loki was certain his brother was thinking he was going to be the one entering Loki. That was simply not the case. Loki had waited long enough to have his brother beneath him.

     Thor looked at him for a moment and frowned.

     “Come now, brother. You can’t be serious.”

     “Why not?”

     Thor sighed and looked at Loki uneasy. What was wrong with him being on top? There was no shame in receiving. Loki had done it a few times himself. He was sure Thor would not be left unsatisfied.

      “Brother, yours is a size many men envy, including I. But it is quite…Intimidating.” Thor’s eyes trailed down to between Loki’s legs. The trickster followed his gaze and frowned. His was not _that_ much bigger than Thor’s. It is true that he was blessed with a little more length and girth, but it was fairly miniscule in the grand scheme of things. He was a frost giant but still a runt. Certainly not something to be intimidated by. Thor was just making excuses!

      “Thank you, brother, for the compliment,” Loki spoke. “But isn’t that more reason to have you beneath me?”

      “But I want you beneath me.” Thor pouted childishly and pulled Loki closer to him. “Come now, brother. A delicate beauty like you deserves to have his body worshiped.”

      He dipped his head to touch his nose against Loki’s. Slowly, sensually the thunderer kissed his lips. Loki wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck as Thor pressed against him allowing Loki to feel his arousal. The trickster smiled fondly at his brother.

     “Yes, but one can worship me by allowing me to indulge myself.”

      “Brother, please I’ve always dreamed of taking you. Haven’t you dreamt the same?”

     “I admit, I may have. But I’ve also dreamed of taking you,” Loki was now simply teasing for teasing sake. He didn’t mind if Thor took him. He had imagined it many times before but seeing his brother pout was simply too delicious.

       “How about we draw lots?” Thor moved back a bit. That had to be the worst suggestion anyone could make. Especially, when things were getting good.

     “My desire is waning,” Loki groaned overdramatically.

     “Wait.” Thor sounded panicked. “Do you even know what to do?”

      “I’ve shared my pleasure with plenty of men. Both ways.”

       “What men?” Thor’s tone suddenly turned dangerous. Loki huffed in amusement.

     “Forget them.” Loki pressed against his brother’s chest, pushing him towards the bed. “Focus on me.”

      His brother allowed him to press him against the bed. Allowed him to disrobe both of them while Loki peppered kisses everywhere he wanted to. There was no inch of Thor’s skin that would go untouched. Not when he had him where he wanted him. Looking towards his brother’s face while his kisses trailed lower, he noticed the hesitation in his eyes.

     It was amusing to see Thor look so hesitant when Loki really wasn't planning on taking him. This time, at least. But he sighed dramatically all the same.

      “Fine, I will allow it this once but next time, I want to take you.”

     “As you wish, brother.” Thor looked overjoyed like when he first received Mjolnir. Loki couldn’t help but love every bit of it.

      Quickly, Thor tossed Loki onto his back and began to roughly worship him. Loki didn’t mind though. He had been waiting for his brother to handle him like this. He enjoyed every moment of it.

      He helped his brother with the process using his magic to bring him oil, instructing him with what he should do. Thor wasn’t completely clueless and most of his instruction was met with irritation, but Loki loved explaining it so. Thor had the loveliest pout.

      “It’s cool to the touch.”  Thor gasped once he slipped a finger inside.

      “I beg your pardon?”

      “Most are very warm on the inside.”

     It was because he was a frost giant. He wasn’t hot inside like others. In fact, even his outside was cool to the touch, why would his inside be any different? Now that he thought about it, it was amazing that he never suspected he was different all those years.

      “Do you not wish to bed me then, brother?”

     “I never said that,” Thor grumbled. “It’s not as if it is freezing.”

     “Then do it properly,” Loki teased wiggling under Thor’s grip.

     “I’m trying to, but you keep making it difficult.”

     “Am I?” Loki wiggled some more with a giggle. Thor slapped his side playfully and it sent a strange rush through Loki’s body. The younger prince’s eyes widened. He realized he might have found another perverse interest of his.

      Thor took his time preparing him. He did his best to worship Loki’s body just the way he promised. Every kiss a gentle caress. Every touch slowly driving him mad. Never had he ever had someone care so deeply for his own pleasure. Then again, Loki took his previous pleasures where he could. Most of the time it was convenient and with complete strangers. Loki never actually made love like this before.

      Thor removed his fingers, kissing Loki deeply before slowly entering him. He did so slowly and gently. No doubt he was worried of hurting Loki. It was endearing but he wasn’t as delicate as his brother would like to believe. But despite all that, once Thor was completely inside him, Loki did need a moment.

      “Don’t move yet.” Loki took a deep breath. It had been so long since he last done this. “Let me get adjusted to your size.”

      “Hadn’t had one as big as mine inside you?” Thor smiled proudly. Loki rolled his eyes.

      “Please, yours isn’t **that** amazing,” Loki teased playfully. “Remember mine is larger.”

     “I don’t think it wise to insult me when we are joined,” Thor chuckled above him.

      “Oh, but your muscles tense so wonderfully.” Loki reached up to trace the glorious curves of Thor’s chest. Suddenly, Thor rolled his hips. Loki moaned softly. “Mmmph, I didn’t say you could move.”

      “Yes, but you know my patience, brother.” Thor kissed his lips hungrily leaving Loki breathless as he continued to slowly move within him. “Besides, you moan so wonderfully.”

      “You brute.” Loki gasped as Thor quickened his pace.

     “Aye, your brute.”

     Loki held onto his brother forgetting about anything else. This moment was all that mattered. Thor was his and he was Thor’s. They were the only two in the entire universe. It was unbearably hot inside him. He could feel the heat engulfing everything that he was. He dug his nails into his brother’s skin as Thor became rougher and wilder in his love making.

     So, the bed may not have withstood their lust. Nor did the wall. Unfortunately, for the others in the hotel, Loki made it quite known that Thor was hitting all the right places. Thor also couldn’t contain his voice.  He moaned Loki’s name loudly during his climax and Loki absolutely loved it. He wanted Thor to let all of Midgard know who he belonged to.

     They found themselves tangled together on the bed, both sweating and panting in sync. Loki curled into Thor not willing to lose his warmth. Thor didn’t seem to mind. He clung to Loki with the same desperation.

     “Let’s not return to the tower until tomorrow,” he suggested.

     “I did not come with any other clothing,” Loki pointed out.

      “Wear mine. I would love to see you in my clothing and not Rogers’.”

     Loki looked up into his eyes. He didn’t think he told Thor about where he was. Maybe he recognized the clothing?

     “So, you knew.”

     “Nothing happened?” Even after everything they had done, Thor was still worried he was not sincere? Loki sighed but was too blissful from their previous activity to worry about it.

     “Nothing. Shall I persuade you again?” He pushed Thor back against the bed and straddled his hips.

     “Please do,” Thor chuckled.

      There was a knock on the door.

      “You guys okay in there?” Darcy’s voice sounded. “Need anything?”

     “We are quite alright, Lady Darcy,” Thor called out. He turned his head back to focus on Loki and brought him down for a kiss.

     “Need condoms?”

     “What?!” Loki exclaimed completely scandalized.

      “Safe sex and all that.” Darcy was speaking like it was a completely normal thing to shout at a door. Was there anyone in the hallway? Did they hear any of this?

      “No, that’s alright.” Thor’s voice was a bit strangled.

      “Because I have some if you need them,” she insisted.

      “No, we’re fine,” Thor called back.

      “Cool. Jane and I are going to the Italian place up the block. Want anything?”

      “No, we’ll order room service.”

     “Alright. Just keep it down because the walls are pretty thin.” They paused to listen to her leave the door. When she was far enough away, Loki couldn’t help but laugh.

      “Oh, dear,” he chuckled. “Your Jane must have heard us as well.”

       Thor rolled his eyes.

      “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

      “What?” Loki didn’t understand. It wouldn’t be the first time? Did he subject her to such a thing before? “You bedded someone nearby her. So brazen.”

     “No, I mean…” Thor looked away embarrassed. “Me saying your name in the throes of passion.”

     Loki’s jaw dropped. When did that happen? It must have been a while before the potion. He was suddenly interested in how that played out. No doubt it must have slipped during his climax but what had been running through his mind prior to that. Was he imagining Loki beneath him? What did Jane even say about that?

     “It’s why we aren’t together anymore,” Thor confessed. “Well, one of the reasons.”

      “My, my, my, you really are twisted,” Loki laughed.

      “As are you, brother.” Thor pulled him down for a kiss. Loki found that he couldn’t disagree with him. His mouth was quite persuasive.

      “As am I.”


	34. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor ruin the hotel further and receive help from a friend. Loki uses Uber for the first and last time and Fandral takes Loki by surprise.

     Loki woke up to a light tickle on his shoulders and small warm kisses peppering them. He groaned and turned away but that only alerted his bedmate to his wakefulness. Warm hands touched the sides of his arms and the kisses trailed upward towards his neck, his brother’s beard brushing against a rather ticklish spot.

     “No,” Loki slightly giggled trying to refrain from reacting to the touch.

     “Brother, I know you are awake.”

     “No, I’m not. I’m merely speaking in my sleep.”

     “So amazingly articulate in your dreams,” Thor gasped mockingly. “Clearly the talent of a silver tongue.”

    “I have many talents more so than you ever knew,” Loki mumbled. “Now let me sleep.”

     “I thought you already were sleeping,” Thor chuckled and kissed the side of his neck again. Loki moaned in protest but didn’t say another word.

     Thor sighed and suddenly the warmth that had been laid upon his back was gone. Loki shivered a little while Thor pulled the blanket over him. At least, he was thoughtful enough to cover him. Not that Loki wouldn’t have been fine without it, he could stand the cold. However, he had grown so accustom to his brother’s warmth. Suddenly losing it was dismaying.

     “I was going to ask if you wished to join me in the shower but seeing how you wish to continue sleeping-”

     “I am awake!” Loki sprouted up as if he had suddenly been struck by a bolt of lightning. He heard his brother chuckle in response.  

     Thor guided them into the shower, pulling Loki’s body into his warmth. Loki sighed contently as he wrapped his arms around his brother. Thor truly was a personal heater. The warmth that emanated from him would almost be unbearable if it didn’t excite him so. He wasn’t sure how they wobbled into the shower, but they had. Thor had turned it on allowing the burst of momentary coldness to hit Loki first.

     Loki would have been insulted if he wasn’t bothered by it. He was a frost giant after all and cold showers apparently did nothing to his arousal. Thor must have taken that into account. That or he was hoping to see Loki in momentary agony. The idea that Thor would wish to see a painful expression on his face strangely caused Loki to become even more aroused. The thought that Thor could have such dark thoughts excited him further. Another perversion he was sure to explore later.  

     He certainly was mad.

     “The shower is quite small,” Loki pointed out as Thor pressed him against the smooth tile of the shower. The water was warming up and the heat of his brother wasn’t helping in the least. Loki was finding it hard to breathe and he loved every moment of it.

     “Well it wouldn’t be fun if it was any larger.” Thor winked at the younger prince, who just rolled his eyes.

     He kissed him with the full passion and strength he held the day before. It was as if no amount of his pent-up desire had been satisfied. Perhaps it hadn’t. Perhaps Thor had so much hidden inside him that it would take centuries to remedy. Perhaps it couldn’t be remedied at all and Loki couldn’t help but wish for that.

     Being with his brother, holding him in this way, had changed everything. He couldn’t believe he had ever thought against something so perfect; so right. The feel of his brother against him. That unbearable heat that burned deep into his very core. It was everything he ever wanted. He wanted to melt under his brother’s touch, he wanted to feel both pain and pleasure. His brother was no better, Loki knew. When he clawed at him, insulted him or teased him harshly, he saw how his brother’s body responded. They were together both drowning in their own madness. Both loving every moment of it.

     Loki clung to his brother desperately as he felt his brother’s arousal at his hip. Thor had a stamina that he had heard was unrivaled. Usually he would scoff at such things. Everyone on Asgard would praise his brother for the silliest things, some of it untrue. But this was very true. Thor was insatiable. Loki allowed him to pepper his collar bone with kisses and trail those hot hands all over his body.

     But he was Loki, and nothing could be won without a little resistance.

     “Please let me worship you, brother,” Thor almost whined like a petulant child, when Loki pushed him away. The younger prince smiled wickedly.

     “If you wish to worship me then kneel.” He expected his brother to get angry at the idea. No son of Odin would degrade themselves to kneel before one as unworthy as him. After all, Loki was the second son, the unimportant one. Thor was the golden son, the future king. He was of higher rank and would never debase himself so.

     “With pleasure.” Thor knelt down as if he hadn’t a thought to his position. It was as if Loki was truly higher than him and kneeling was all he ever wanted to do.

     Loki couldn’t deny the sight of Thor on his knees did such wonderful things to him.

     He also couldn’t deny that Thor was very skillful with his tongue. He understood now why Thor was terrible at diplomacy. The Norns above deemed a far better skill to be had for such a glorious tongue. So very glorious. Loki couldn’t help but moan appreciatively.

      In the distance, past the sound of running water, he heard the door to their hotel room open.

      “Thor are you- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS ROOM!?” Darcy’s voice was nowhere near the bathroom, but her screech still hurt Loki’s ears. He lifted one hand from his brother’s hair to touch his ear. He was trying to enjoy himself and she was ruining it.

      Thankfully, Thor did not cease tending to Loki’s arousal and the trickster couldn’t help but thrust shallowly in response. The thunderer groaned a little in protest but that just made the younger prince want to move more. Thor was certainly talented. Loki could feel himself coming closer to his release. He had wanted to hold back and savor this moment, but that tongue was too skilled. Too sinful.

     “Thor? Are you in the shower?” She was near the door now. Loki pushed down on his brother’s head but unfortunately, Thor was always stronger than him. He pushed away from his younger brother with an audible pop.

     “Aye, I’ll be just a moment,” Thor called out. Loki frowned. He didn’t care if Darcy was behind the door. He was so close!

     “Not a lot of worshipping going on, brother,” Loki couldn’t help but grumble.

     “I may not wish to continue if you keep speaking like that.” Thor smiled up at Loki playfully. The trickster’s eyes grew wide.

      “Don’t you dare.”

      “Keep your voice down.” Thor leaned closer to Loki, placing his hands back onto his brother’s hips. “Lady Darcy’s in the other room.”

      “Let her hear,” Loki moaned as Thor took him into his mouth again. Thor looked up at him with narrowed eyes and increased the strength of his _worship_. Loki gasped sharply. How cruel. How absolutely delightful.

     Her footsteps disappeared, and they were left to their own devices. When Thor realized she was gone, he held nothing back. Loki barely could find purchase in the wall behind him. His fingers dug into the tile, crumbling them beneath him. He moaned loudly. He was so close.

     When he came, Loki was unable to control himself. He ripped the shower head off the wall.

     “What the hell?” That was a different voice. Loki was too blissful to pay attention. Thor was back to kissing his neck and rutting against his hip like a needy dog. How could he be bothered to notice his surroundings when something so perfect was demanding his attention?

     “I told you.” Darcy’s voice sounded as Loki allowed his brother to invade his mouth. He should have been disgusted to taste himself on his brother’s tongue, but he couldn’t help but love every moment of it.

     The shower was throwing out a massive amount of water extending further than the shower but he doubted it mattered anymore. Besides the voices were still outside the bathroom. They weren’t important.

      “Where’s Loki?” That woman’s voice again. It took Loki a while to realize that he was hearing Jane’s voice. Jane was here?

      “Probably with Thor.”

       “Ew, why are we in here if they are over there?”

     “I wanted to show you the wall. Look you can see the other room.”

      “Darcy, we are invading their privacy.”

     “It’s not like we couldn’t hear them before.”

     “I don’t feel comfortable.”

      Of course, she wouldn’t feel comfortable. Not with the man she used to have rutting against Loki like some beast. Smugly, Loki grabbed his brother’s hips and pulled him closer with each thrust. He passionately assaulted his brother’s mouth. This was his. Not hers.

     “Alright, alright.” Darcy’s voice sounded again. “But you know this room is on your credit card.”

      “Shit.”

      Thor stopped kissing him. Loki almost whined in protest. It was like a lightbulb had been turned on in his head and he suddenly realized the state of the bathroom. He looked around in horror. Loki sighed. He shouldn’t worry about the damage. There were far more pressing matters. Loki looked down at his brother’s neglected arousal.

     “Brother, you wish to be taken care of as well?”

     “I don’t know if this is the right moment. Besides, the water is losing its warmth.” Of course, it was but that didn’t need to stop them. Besides, the women hadn’t left the other room and they didn’t have any clothes in here. Were they to just exit the room naked?

     They would have to wait until they left. Might as well have some fun as they waited.

     “Forget the water.” Loki pressed Thor against the wall and smiled wickedly. “Shouldn’t I have a chance to worship you?”

     No amount of protest could stop the younger prince from dropping down and repaying his brother’s kindness. Thor did his very best not to moan as he didn’t want to alert them, but Loki did his best to cause him to fail. Unfortunately, the women left before Thor climaxed. He would have loved to have Jane hear his name escape his brother’s mouth again.

     Let her have no doubt who he belonged to.

      “My brother and I wish to convey our utmost apologies.” Was the first thing Thor told them after they were dressed and ready to leave. Thor had packed his things back into his luggage. The shower was no longer spewing out water, since Loki turned it off, but the water had already reached the carpet. But it was a very small amount. He was sure the owners wouldn’t mind. They had larger problems in that room anyway.

     Jane and Darcy apparently didn’t think any damage done to the room was minor and Thor thought it proper to apologize to them for it. Loki supposed if that was what he wanted to do, he wouldn’t stop him. He tugged on the strange black shirt Thor had given him. He looked down at his worn out, lose fitting jeans. Why did Thor give him this kind of clothes? He looked like a man with no money to his name.

     It took him a moment to realize everyone was looking at him expectantly. Did they want him to apologize too?

     “Don’t look at me. I just laid there and took it,” Loki informed them dryly.

     “Brother, could you not be so crude?”

     “They already heard our lovemaking.” Loki gestured to Jane and Darcy, who both stood in front of them with uneasy expressions. “Am I to pretend it didn’t happen?”

     Thor didn’t say anything to argue. How could he? It wasn’t like he was a completely innocent party to what had happened. He had made just as much noise as Loki and it was mostly his fault the bed had broke. Mostly. Loki did have to admit, even he had been a little too passionate towards the end, but he wasn’t going to admit it out loud for all to hear. Especially not in front of Jane.

      “Thor, I don’t have the type of money to pay for all this,” Jane told him with a dismayed look.

     “Yeah, so call your dad to send you some funds.” Darcy patted Thor’s chest twice and nodded at him. Loki just watched as his brother did not take offense by the action and just accepted her strange gesture. Was this an everyday occurrence with her? Did she think she could just slap the son of Odin in such a way?

     “Would the hotel take Asgardian gold?” Jane pondered while Loki was still staring at Thor’s chest as if Darcy had left a stain with her hand.

     “Gold is money.”

      “Well, I don’t know. We would have to ask the front desk. This is terrible.” Jane sighed and looked down. Her petite hands pushed back her hair in a very frustrated manner. “What even happened here?”

      “Sex,” Loki responded flatly. Jane’s eyes widened. Loki figured it wasn’t because of the idea that Thor had bedded his brother. They were past that realization. She was probably more shocked that Loki didn’t care to admit it so brazenly.

     “I know that but why the wall and the bed?”

      “Because we aren’t weak like you mortals,” the trickster quipped.

     “Don’t insult Jane, brother.” Thor glared at Loki like he was in the wrong. The younger prince looked away. He wasn’t lying to her or anything. He was just telling her the unfortunate truth. It isn’t his fault that the truth was hard for mortals to take. “She’s just trying to understand. I truly am sorry. I should have held back my passion.”

     “Wow.” Darcy nodded as if suddenly everything made so much sense. “He could have killed you, Jane.”

      “What?” Jane turned to her confused as did Loki. What was she going on about? The room next door was obviously unoccupied. Jane had clearly been in the room down the hall. Safe and sound away from them. Besides, no one would have been hurt during their lovemaking anyway. It wasn’t that violent. Mortals just had weak beds, and walls… And showers.

      “I’m just saying. You dodged a bullet there.” Darcy put her hands up in defense as Jane had a look of realization. It took Loki a moment to realize what the mortal woman was referring to.

      Of course, Thor and Jane had been intimate before.

      Jane could have very well died.

      Loki looked over at his brother and smiled a little. It was better that he was with him. Now he never had to hold back his passions. Loki could take anything his brother wanted to give him. In fact, he was sure he would. After all, it all belonged to him now, didn’t it?

      “Forget that.” Jane shook her head and looked away from Darcy. “We need to figure something out. You didn’t break anything in the bathroom, did you?”

      Loki wondered if it would be best to tell her or just show her.

       Apparently, words would have been better. When Thor opened the hotel room door and escorted them to the bathroom, Loki could already see the fear behind their eyes. When he opened the bathroom door, however, that was when the true horror rose to both of their faces.

      “Oh my god, Thor!” Jane exclaimed, her eyes growing wider than anything Loki had ever seen before. Her mouth remained agape as she took in the destroyed tile and the small pond the floor had become. Darcy was asking questions rapidly about how certain things broke. Thor nervously tried to answer her inquiries as his face became redder with each answer. Jane, however, remained completely aghast.

      “If I may interject,” Loki chimed in. “I do believe we know someone who could provide assistance.”

      It took a little convincing, but Thor made the call. Jane seemed upset that they were going to use someone else’s money. Especially when he had nothing to do with the situation. However, Loki didn’t see why that was a problem. The man had more than enough to give and certainly loved to flaunt it. Though he was worried what would happen when the man arrived.

      They waited in the lobby nervously while the lady at the front desk was torn between being upset about the room’s condition and drooling over Thor. Loki straightened up next to his brother in hopes she would notice their very similar outfits and realize he was wearing Thor’s clothing. It didn’t happen. Instead, she was asking him about his relation to his female friends. It would have been a perfect time for Thor to mention that Loki and he were together but no. He just said Darcy and Jane were merely friends and nothing else. Loki frowned at the hope that started to show in her eyes.

      She thought she had a chance.

      Pathetic.

      “Look a fancy car,” Darcy’s voice pulled Loki away from glaring at the front desk lady. “Is that our guy?”

     A shiny black car stopped in front of the building and a stocky man hurried to the back door. Opening it, the man stood back as Tony Stark confidently exited the vehicle. Loki noticed how well dressed he was. Not as well dressed as he had been for the charity event but impressive nonetheless.

     “Anthony,” Loki greeted cautiously. He approached the man slowly a little worried of his reaction. Tony shook his head and took off his sunglasses.

     “You’re still hot,” the man admitted. “I’m just not feeling it anymore, which is good, cause you broke my damn heart.”

     Loki felt relieved that Tony was no longer hurting. However, at the same time, he felt unsure of how their relationship would be now that the potion was over. Tony was acting civil enough but that was in the presence of Thor. Even with the potion gone, it didn’t change the fact that Loki had done everything he did. It didn’t erase the damages done in the past. Loki found himself unsure if Tony would forgive him for any of it.

     “My apologies.”

     “Forget it. I’m just glad that is over.” Tony waved his hand in front of him and pushed passed Loki and the others. “What is this I hear about damages to a hotel room?”

     “The damages tally to around 4,500 dollars,” the front desk woman mentioned now looking even more star struck from seeing the billionaire. Loki rolled his eyes. She wasn’t even loyal.

     Tony looked surprised for a moment, then thoughtful. It was as if he was recalling some fond memory of his. After a brief moment, he shrugged a bit with an amused smile and shook his head. What was he thinking about? What was so funny to him?

     “What happened?”

     The woman took a moment to look over at the others before taking a deep breath.

      “The bed is completely destroyed. The wall is ripped up and part of it has been pounded through to the other side. The shower head was ripped off and many tiles were broken in the bathroom. There is a large crack in the door and all the lamps were blown to the point the electrical sockets have burn marks. I’m surprised it didn’t short circuit the whole building. And oddly enough the outlets still work apparently.”

      “Again, what the hell happened?” Tony looked back at the two brothers in shock. His eyes dropped to Loki’s attire and a scandalized look surfaced. He waved his hand frantically in front of him and looked away. “No, don’t tell me.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a credit card and handed it to the lady. “Here charge it all.”

     It was very fortunate that the potion had worn off and Tony was available to call. Loki wasn’t sure what Thor would have done if that hadn’t been the case. After all, Loki could easily escape the hotel’s clutches. Thor, however, would be too noble to follow Loki out of the hotel.

     After the transaction had been finalized and Tony received his card back, the they all walked out of the hotel.

     “Really, you destroyed the whole room?” Tony looked back at them incredulously and then shook his head. “Can’t take you anywhere.”

     The back door was opened for him and he slipped inside. Thor and Loki went to follow him when the mortal lifted a hand to stop them. Why wouldn’t he let them in? The car was certainly large enough for all five of them to fit in there and only two of them needed a ride!

     “Woah, this ride is only for me.”

     “Are we to walk to the tower?” Thor asked annoyed as the door closed in front of him. Tony’s driver shrugged looking slightly sympathetic as Tony brought down his window.

      “Look, I’m not heading towards the tower. I’m taking Pepper out some place nice. Make up for the last two weeks.” He put his sunglasses back on and watched his driver race back to the front. “See you guys around. Don’t destroy any more hotel rooms.”

     He left them. Tony Stark left Loki standing on a sidewalk with his brother. _I liked him better when he was in love with me,_ Loki thought bitterly. _He would have at least taken me with him._ As the car drove out of eyesight, a honk alerted them to look behind them.

     A strange white SUV had come for Jane and Darcy. A man that neither Thor or Loki recognized came out to help the women with their bags. Thor looked down at the bags in his hands. Loki’s eyes followed his and trailed back up to see Thor’s expectant look.

     “Carry your own luggage, brother,” Loki huffed. “I’m still sore.”

      “You wouldn’t carry it even if you weren’t.” Thor looked away from him with that cute little pout of his.

      “That’s true but hardly the point.”

      “Call an Uber!” Darcy called out to them as she was entering the strange vehicle.

      “A what?”

      Apparently, the large car the women had entered was one of these Uber cars. Darcy instructed Thor on how to purchase one from his phone. All they had to do now was wait.

      When the car arrived, it wasn’t nearly as big as the one they saw the women leave in and nowhere near as fancy as Tony’s. The paint job was chipped, the windows were dirty, and the model was like a car Steve would have owned. Loki almost asked if they could cancel and get a new one. He whispered his suggestion to Thor when they entered and the thick smell of pine and must attacked his nose. Thor shrugged off his suggestion and Loki had to roll down his window just to breathe.

      “I can’t believe I have Thor in my backseat right now.” Their odd driver exclaimed with the giddiness of a young child. “You have no idea.”

      “I might,” Loki teased. He certainly did know what it was like to have Thor in his “back seat.”

      “Brother.” Thor looked at him sternly.

      “Please, let me have this.” If he couldn’t breathe, he could at least have some fun. It was Thor’s fault they were still in the vehicle. It was hardly a ride worthy of princes such as they.

      “So, who’s the weedy looking guy?” The driver asked as they began to ride towards the tower.

      “Weedy?” Who was this man calling weedy? Loki couldn’t help but look offended. Was he saying he was no better than the weeds in the garden? How rude! He turned to look at Thor as if to silently ask for him to defend his honor. Instead, his brother smiled amused and answered the man.

      “My brother.”

      “Oh, sorry,” the driver apologized unconvincingly. “I’m sure you’re cool too.”

      “He’s very cool,” Thor agreed with a small smile. Loki rolled his eyes. He didn’t need the driver’s approval. And he certainly wasn’t a weed! The mortal was lucky his brother was next to him and that Loki didn’t want to jeopardize the progress they had made.

      “You guys look nothing alike.” Was there no end to this man’s chatter?

     “He’s adopted.” Thor was no better! He was humoring him! Loki glared at his brother briefly before the smell caused him to focus back to the window.

     “Oh, no wonder.” The driver turned to look at Loki, who was trying his best to keep his nose outside the window. “So, it must be amazing to be the adopted brother of Thor, the god of thunder. I mean he’s so cool and I’m sure you are just excited to be family with the guy.”

     There it was: The last straw. Loki could handle a lot of things in life, but he was not going to sit in the back of this scrap heap and be overlooked like this. He attacked New York multiple times. He had shown his abilities to these mortals many times! He was capable! He was not suffering in the backseat just to be pushed into the shade of his brother’s greatness. It was times like these that he felt the urge to capture biglesnipes and set them loose in the city’s streets. Terrorize the mortals a bit. Let them know he is one to fear and respect. Certainly not a weed.

     “Just stop talking,” Loki growled making sure his glare was powerful enough to scare the driver to silence. The man gulped and focused on the road. Which was what he should have been doing in the first place! Loki made sure to whisper to his brother to not tip the man. Darcy said it was kind to do but Loki was not feeling kind.

     “Okay. Okay. Sore subject,” the driver grumbled.

     “Yes, I’m quite sore,” Loki told him loudly.

     “Behave.” Thor pushed Loki’s leg with his own. It was easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one being called weedy and being overlooked.

     “When do I ever?” Suddenly a loud, screeching noise burst from the radio. The deep thrum of it could be felt throughout Loki’s entire body. Was that meant to be a beat? Was this meant to be music?  “What is that noise?”

     “You like it? It’s my cousin’s mix tape.”

     “I’m sure your very proud of him.” Thor smiled but Loki could see he was having a tough time stomaching the noise as well. It was horrendous. This wasn’t something Loki could just pretend was alright.

     “He’s trying to kill us!” Loki shrieked as he covered his ears. This was a failure from the beginning. Loki had wanted to stay with his brother the entire way to the tower, but he feared he could no longer do so. “Forgive me, brother.”

      With that, he blinked out of the car that will forever haunt his nightmares.

      He appeared in the common room of the tower. No doubt Thor was cursing his name as he suffered the Uber drive alone. He supposed he could soothe his brother afterwards. He could think of a few ways to bring his brother back to contentment. Loki shook his head. It wasn’t time for such degenerate thoughts.

     “Hey, Loki.” Steve walked out of the kitchen cautiously with a cup of coffee in his hands. Loki eyed him warily. He had almost forgotten. The potion was no longer in effect.

     “Steven.” Loki looked around the common room. They were the only ones there. “I assume the potion has lost its effect?”

     “Yeah. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” Steve placed his coffee down on the side table and sat in his favorite spot on the couch.

     “I beg your pardon?” Loki blinked a little confused.  “You never made me feel uncomfortable. I was honored to have your affection.”

      Steve smiled a little at that admission. There was no anger behind that smile. No sadness or regret. It was a fond smile meant for a friend or loved one. Certainly not one Loki deserved.

     “I meant what I said. I don’t regret what happened,” he told the prince. “It’s because of the potion that I got to know you. I don’t think you’re an evil person, Loki. I really don’t.”

     He really was that great of a man. Loki didn’t really know what he could say to that. He had thought any kindness the captain showed him was because of the potion but that wasn’t true, was it? Somewhere behind the false affection was the reality of a man, who cared about others. A man, who listened to Loki’s words and didn’t just toss them behind him. A friend, perhaps.

     “Thank you,” Loki spoke. “You are a good friend.”

     “I’m glad you think so.” Steve’s eyes brightened up immediately at the thought. Perhaps this would work. Perhaps Loki could find a friend in the captain. Perhaps he could find a friend in all of them, if they would let him.

     Turning away towards the hallway, he noticed they suddenly had an audience. Loki was sure no one was around before. He must have come during their conversation. Loki gulped nervously as he looked over at their guest leaning against the entry way.

    “Fandral.”

     “My prince.” Fandral pushed off the wall and gestured to the hallway with his head. The way he was looking at him no longer held the joy he had before. Was it over? Did Fandral feel nothing for him now?

     He followed the blonde warrior to the other common room, where he could view the balcony. Fandral must be leading him there because he planned to leave. Of course, he would. There would be no reason to stay here now that the potion was over. He supposed whatever Fandral felt for him before must not have been strong enough to endure past the potion.

     It didn’t matter since Loki already had someone else in his heart. But he supposed there would always be that bittersweet feeling when he thought about the warrior. He was his first love, after all.

     “So, the potion has left your heart?”

     “I apologize but I must take back my offer of marriage.” Fandral bowed deeply as if expecting ire from Loki. It was amusing.

     “I expected such.” Loki smiled. Of course, they can’t marry. Loki was going to refuse it himself if Fandral didn’t take it back.

     Loki sighed and watched Fandral lift his head. He didn’t look guilty. He didn’t look embarrassed or ashamed. He didn’t seem disgusted by his past actions. Then again, he did say he had interest in Loki before, unless that was a product of the potion. Loki could never be so sure.

     Then without warning, the warrior grabbed Loki and pressed himself against him.

      “What are you-” Soft lips pressed against his. Loki’s eyes grew as wide as he could muster. What was happening? Before Loki could react and push the man far from him, Fandral’s lips left his.

      “Perhaps, there could still be lingering affection,” Fandral murmured as he stared down at Loki’s lips.

     “But I-”

     “Speak not. I know. My love for you has faded but that doesn’t mean I never thought of such things. At least, I now know how these lips taste.” The man smiled proudly as if he accomplished his life’s goal. Perhaps at one time it was. He moved back and nodded. “I will not chase after you any longer. I know I do not hold your heart.”

     Fandral’s smile was sincere and a little bittersweet. Had things had gone differently, they would not be parting in such a way. However, time had changed both of them and they had both moved on. Loki sighed. There was no point thinking about a past feelings that never became anything more. Fandral was his friend and shall remain as such.  

     “Ah, don’t look so glum, my prince,” Fandral spoke again noticing Loki’s thoughtful look. He gave a playful wink and a smile that lit his eyes. “There are many maidens out there waiting for a visit from Fandral the Dashing.”

    With that the man turned around, took a deep breath, and walked away. Loki watched him leave towards the balcony and call the Bifrost. He smiled at Loki once more through the window and bowed politely, before the Bifrost took him away.

     “So, this is awkward.”  Loki turned around to see Clint and Bruce standing by the hallway. Bruce looked down nervously as Clint looked properly ashamed.

     “I can’t believe I almost kissed you,” the archer lamented only to have Bruce look at him in shock.

     “You almost kissed him?” The tone was predictably scandalized but there was a strange quality to it. Almost as if Bruce felt he had missed out on something.

    “So, we are all good?” Natasha appeared from behind them followed by Steve, who looked like he had been trying to convince her to stay in the hallway. This only amused Loki further.

     “Physically yes. Mentally?” Clint looked down at his hands and shook his head. “I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe I- “

     “I’ve done things I’m not proud of,” Bruce broke in. “It’ll take a while to get over that.”

     Loki was confused. Bruce hadn’t done much of anything during the potion. They spoke a bit, but it was nothing but pleasant conversations. Bruce never made Loki uncomfortable or caused him to worry about his chastity. He cared about Loki’s feelings so genuinely. Natasha surely didn’t understand how lucky she was.

     “You were nothing but kind, Bruce,” Loki informed him. “We hadn’t- “

     “ _We_ hadn’t.”

     It took only a moment for Loki to realize what the man was referencing. The nervous look away and blush on his cheeks was enough to give it away. Of course, Loki should have known. He had experience with pinning for someone desperately. He knew of the sleepless nights spent fantasizing about his beloved. He knew what actions one would take those nights.

     “Yeah, I can’t believe that either.” Clint looked down guiltily as did Steve. Loki’s eyes widened. Steve did such things as well? Did all his admirers pleasure themselves while imagining scenarios involving him?

      “So, back to hating me again, Barton?” Loki decided to change the subject to something less uncomfortable to everyone.

     “No, I… Just stay away from me for a while.” Clint put up one hand and looked away. His face was redder than anything Loki had ever seen. “Let me be ashamed in peace.”

     It didn’t take the others long to make excuses as well. Steve suddenly needed more coffee. Bruce had something he had to check in the lab. Natasha watched them all leave knowingly and looked almost as amused as Loki felt.

     “You and your brother talk?” She turned her knowing look towards Loki. If she knew the answer, why ask? But he supposed he could indulge her this time.

     “Yes.”

     “You a thing now?”

     “Define thing.” Loki watched as the woman rolled her eyes. He couldn’t help but be a little difficult. It wouldn’t be much fun any other way.

      “You romantically involved?”

     “I believe so.”

     “Good.” Natasha nodded satisfied. “I’m glad you two have each other. Thor deserves to be happy.”

      Of course, Thor deserved to be happy. No one would argue that point. Thor always did the right thing. Even if it wasn’t, people would think about it and decide that it was indeed the right thing in the end. Or they’ll conveniently forget about it. Who in Asgard spoke about the time Thor wanted to kill all Frost Giants and marched in to Jotunheim with the idea to do just that? Loki sighed. No, he couldn’t fall back into his old ways of thinking. He supposed Natasha was mainly his brother’s friend. She knew Thor better than him. He only got to know her in two weeks and that meant that there was much they didn’t know about each other. Trust that had yet to be built. Besides, he shouldn’t get upset about such things anymore. What would feeling a little jealous now do for him?

     “And hey, you do too.” Natasha slapped a hand on his shoulder and looked at him meaningfully. Did she notice his internal battle in his head? She truly was a mind reader.

     Loki could at least admit to himself that the addition made him feel a little better. Of course, he wasn’t going to say it out loud, but Natasha probably didn’t expect him to. She seemed to understand him well despite their short time together.

     “Guess Fandral went back. Didn’t take the horns though,” she mentioned as she looked towards the balcony.

     “Well, it was my gift. How do you know he didn’t take them?”

     “One, he wasn’t carrying it and two, they are in the training room taking up space.”

      So, Fandral hadn’t found himself respectable quarters. He remained in the same room Tony locked him in the first night he was there. How did he even sleep there? Were there blankets brought to him? Did he have a pillow or sleeping bag?  Or did he simply curl into a corner and hope to not awake shivering?

     “I can’t believe he resided there.”

     “He was in love,” Natasha said as if it explained everything. “Love makes us all a bit crazy.”

      Loki would not have believed her words had he not witnessed it himself. He remembered everything that had happened in the last two weeks. The way his admirers behaved, the good times and the bad times. He recalled the way Thor’s jealousy got the better of him many times and the way Loki’s may have as well. They had all acted rather foolish, hadn’t they?

      “Indeed, it does,” Loki agreed with a soft smile.

     Things had changed. Whether for the better or not, Loki wasn’t sure. It seemed the Avengers no longer viewed him as an enemy. Natasha said they could make this permanent before.

      Back then, Loki could hardly believe her but now, he was beginning to hope.

     Then the Bifrost sounded and bright colors covered the balcony. It disappeared as soon as it came revealing a woman standing alone. Loki paled visibly at the sight. Normally, he would have been happy to see her had he not engaged in incestuous activity not so long ago. It had come: His judgement.

     “Mother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I had started a new job and 12 hour shifts are just no bueno.


	35. Towards the Future

     To say that Loki was nervous would have been an understatement. His mother stood before him with a face he could not read. Was she disappointed in him? Disgusted? Or did she not care at all? Did she know what Loki had done that very morning? Did she have any idea of the depravity her sons indulged themselves in?

     Natasha seemed wary to leave Loki alone. It was something that took him a moment to notice. He hadn’t thought he was in a position to be protected by the mortal. They weren’t friends. They hadn’t really gotten to a point where they could say they were. Well, at least, Loki wasn’t sure if they were.

     Natasha always had such a blank face. It was harder to tell whether she liked him or not.

      Yet, here she was standing by his side. She had helped him quite a bit during the last two weeks. She had advice for him and seemed genuinely concerned for his and his brother’s happiness. Well, she seemed at least bothered by it enough to want to get them together. Perhaps, she really did care for him like one would a friend. Perhaps they had reached that level already.

     “My son, I am glad to see you well.” Frigga spoke, her voice giving away nothing and her eyes only fixed on Loki. Natasha looked between them and gave the prince a questioning gaze. Loki nodded to her silently telling her that he was alright. The woman looked between them once more before nodding back and leaving.

     Frigga no doubt saw the exchange. There was a slight amusement in her eyes. Loki supposed such an emotion was better than disgust. He guided her to one of the lounge seats near the bar. He offered her a drink which she declined politely. He offered her other comforts which she graciously denied. Neither the offer nor the decline was necessary. They could have gotten to the point of the visit, but they were creatures of etiquette and niceties. Niceties to stall and etiquette to cover up nervousness or tension.

     “My dear child, I have missed you so.” Another nicety. Another phrase to stall the inevitable. Usually, Loki would love to play this dancing game. He would love to dance around an issue, merely hinting at it but never dare speaking it but it was troubling him. She had to have known. Loki wanted to know her mind now and not have to glean from their practiced ritual.

     “I cannot marry Fandral.” Loki told her bluntly as he sat beside her.

     “I knew you would say as much.” She didn’t seem shocked nor unhappy. Loki could see a small quirk to the edges of her lips. She was amused.

     “You knew?”

     “My dear, I understood Fandral had a bit of a fancy for you, but I knew you two would not work well.”

     She knew? Yet, she was the one that pushed him towards the blonde warrior. She was the one that planted the seed that made him seek him out. He had been willing to give the man a chance because of her suggestion! Yet, the entire time she knew they were not meant to be? Why would she turn him towards a false goal?

     “You said he was a good match.”

     “Did I?” Frigga made a wonderful surprised look, but Loki had learned to notice the falseness in such a tone. But perhaps his mother wished him to notice it, since there was amusement in her eyes. “I suppose I may have said a few things in order to light a flame beneath someone who would truly be a better match. You are ever my son, Loki. Do you believe it is only you who can create a little mischief?”

     To light the flame beneath one she thought was a good match? Who? Loki recalled the moment Frigga had assured him Fandral would be a good match. She had allowed Steve to leave beforehand, so he wasn’t her target. In fact, they had been alone when they had the conversation. Well, except for the presence of Thor, who was rather irritated by it.

     Loki recalled how amused Frigga had seemed by his brother.

     “But you must find this wrong.” He couldn’t believe it. His own mother. The woman who raised him all his life next to her true son, wanted them together? Did she not find it disgusting? Did it not cause her heartache?

     “Love is never wrong, my son,” she assured him, cupping his cheek with one hand and allowing the other to pet through his hair. “I cannot speak for others but know that I will always support you and whoever you love.”

     She was fine with them being together? Was it because she was from Vanaheim? Loki recalled there was talk that incestuous marriage was not frowned upon there. He thought that was just the vicious whispers of very cruel citizens. But there was, in fact, some old accounts of King Njord of the Vanir marrying his own sister. Loki again dismissed it as insults to the realm. After all, there was quite a lot of lies in the library of Asgard and everyone knew Njord married Skadi, a jotun. Definitely not his own sister. But perhaps there is some truth to the stories. Perhaps there is more to be said than what the libraries of Asgard could provide. Perhaps that was the reason why Vanaheim was so open to anything.

     But that was not the way of Asgard. They would not see this union as anything other than perverse.

     “And father?” Loki couldn’t see Odin accepting this union. He could barely accept Loki as his son. After all, he was nothing but a tool for him, wasn’t he?

     “Your father is stubborn, but he will come around eventually,” his mother spoke as if there was no way any of it could go wrong. “I’ll make sure of that.”

     Those words should have soothed him but they did nothing for the trickster’s nerves. He knew his mother could be persuasive if she wanted to be. She had many times made their father do things he would have rather not have done. However, he has also witnessed his father shutting his mother down before she could even try to persuade him. His father had to be a certain temperament for her persuasion to work. If he was furious, she had little influence on any decision he made. Loki was sure the news of his new relationship with his brother would cause his father to feel such a way.

     There would be no way he would accept them.

     “Heimdall would desire to know why you didn’t choose Steve though.” His mother’s voice was heavy with amusement. “He was so certain you liked him best.”

     “What?” That took him off guard. What was she talking about?

     “Though Freya believed that Fandral would have wooed you,” Frigga continued ignoring her son’s confusion. “For a moment, I almost feared it.”

     “Were you all watching me, trying to guess who I would end up with?” When he saw his mother’s smile grow, he knew his assumption was correct. They were sitting there, in the golden realm, looking down at him betting on who would gain his affections. It was as if everything he had gone through was for naught but their own enjoyment.

     “We weren’t merely watching,” his mother assured him. Perhaps she thought Loki would feel better if she told him that. He did not. “I have a generous sum of gold to collect. No one believed me, but I know my sons.”

     She had winnings.

     Of course, she had winnings.

     Loki had no idea whether to laugh or remain horrified by the idea his every move was being observed. He knew Heimdall saw all but he didn’t think he would watch every single moment. Were there intimate moments that he observed as well? Loki shook his head. Best not to think about it.

     “How many people were a part of this wager?”

     It was then Loki learned of many maidens and a few men that were too involved in knowing about his love life. He didn’t think he could step foot in the golden realm without feeling violated in some way. Sure, only Heimdall saw him but apparently, he explained things in detail enough to keep the others hooked. Like a favorite tv show, the group came back to the Bifrost to learn more time and time again.

     Loki wasn’t sure he could look any of them in the eye when he returned. It would be too awkward.

     His mother left with a few more encouraging words. She was under the impression Loki could just waltz back onto Asgard and no one would say a word against it. His mother was usually the wisest person in all of Asgard, but now Loki found himself doubting her. Such words were optimistic but hardly realistic. He would be in chains the moment he entered the realm and no amount of protest from his mother and brother would save him from his father’s ire.

     After the Bifrost was called and Loki was left alone on the balcony, he wandered back into the common room. He saw Steve looking into his sketchbook. Perhaps he was horrified by all the sketches he had done of Loki during his time under the potion’s influence.

     It was a pity. The man was an amazing artist and Loki would like a few of his works. But when Loki thought the man would shake his head and close the book in disgust, he didn’t. Instead the man touched the pages of his book with a soft smile as if remembering something fond.

     Loki couldn’t imagine that the man was truly looking at a picture of him. Perhaps it was that Peggy woman they spoke of earlier. Why would anyone think of him fondly after everything he had done?

     “Think fast!” Loki had barely a moment to react before a new scepter made its way towards him. He caught it without any issue and was sure no one noticed his surprise. Tony stood in the door way with a smile. “Pepper and I had a wonderful time on our date earlier. Thank you for asking.”

     But Loki didn’t ask. Shaking away his confusion, the prince looked down at the weapon in his hands. Holding it out, he gave Tony an incredulous look.

      “Anthony, do you think it wise to hand me this?”

     “I made it for you. It’s yours.” Tony pushed the scepter towards Loki. “It was made with love.”

_Love_. The prince recalled the events that had transpired over the last two weeks. Tony had loved him so greatly that he put everything into making this weapon and was hurt because of it. It was a symbol of his past devotion. Loki tightened his grip on it with a small sigh. It was indeed made with love.

     “That I don’t doubt.” It was strange now that everything was over. Loki didn’t know how he was to talk to the billionaire. He was being civil and even gave him a powerful weapon. Did he mistake them as friends? Did Loki want to be friends? “Thank you, Anthony.”

      “I got part two of my date waiting for me in my flat, so…” Tony turned away and hurried down the hall leaving Loki to his thoughts.

     How could he trust him so easily?

     “Nice scepter,” Steve commented. Loki had almost forgotten his present. His sketchbook was still open now lying on the coffee table.

     It wasn’t a picture of the woman Steve loved. It was a sketch of him sleeping. Was that what he was looking at so fondly?

     He was so distracted by the drawing, he didn’t even realize Steve had come closer to him.

      “I hope you won’t be using it against us anytime soon.” The statement was said in the strong, firm manner that only Steve could perfect. It was a warning without any actual threat spoken but the threat was there in the background.

     “Dear Captain.” Loki placed a hand on his chest trying his best to look offended. “I would never. Now, if you’d excuse me.”

      Loki didn’t really know where he was going to go. He didn’t know how to handle the Avengers being so civil towards him. He knew they were all fine after the potion. Even Clint admitted to not hating him anymore. But did he deserve it? That was something Loki wasn’t sure of.

      As he walked down the hall, he noticed Bruce and Natasha in the corner chatting as if they were the only two in the world. Something was different with them. Bruce seemed more confident. Something had changed in the meek scientist.

     Loki would have said something to them if he wasn’t so good at reading others. It was obvious the two were in a world of their own and did not need to be disturbed. Perhaps Tony won’t be the only one to have a date today.

      Why did that make him happy? Loki almost hesitated to push the button to call the elevator. He couldn’t say that he had felt like this before. Even with Thor’s friends, who tolerated him, he never cared about their individual happiness. Perhaps because they weren’t really his friends. Fandral was a special case but the others, Loki couldn’t care less for their happiness. But he cared about the Avengers more than he would like to admit. Perhaps Natasha was right. This could work. He could have a home here. Maybe become part of something more. Loki shook his head and pressed the button. 

     Now he was sounding as stupidly optimistic as his brother.

     The doors opened to reveal a surprised Clint. With a glance over Loki’s shoulder at the couple speaking, he nodded in understanding and moved over. It was impressively civil for a man who once hated his very mention. He did say he didn’t hate him anymore, but Loki couldn’t help but be cautious. Perhaps he never could truly imagine being on better terms with anyone in the tower.

     “Barton.”

     “I told you to call me Clint.”  Loki didn’t know what to do. It was true he had told him to call him that, but that was when he was under the influence of the potion. Was there truly no more animosity between them?

      “Clint.” Cautiously, Loki stepped in the elevator. What was he to say? Sorry, I took over your mind and then put you under a love potion, again taking away your willpower? Loki was sure that wouldn’t go over well. Clint wasn’t saying anything either and the elevator couldn’t go faster. Why didn’t he just teleport to Thor’s room? He could do that now and he was sure Clint would be grateful for it. It was better than pretending there wasn’t tension in this small box.

      “My wife wants to meet you,” Clint spoke before Loki could even begin to picture his destination.

     “I beg your pardon?”

      “I said my wife wants to meet you. I told her about you.”

     What was Loki to say to that? Why would Clint tell his wife about him? What did he even say about him? Composing himself, the prince forced a small smile.

      “All terrible things I assume?”

     “The worse things,” Clint chuckled as if they were old friends teasing each other.

     Never did Loki imagine that there would be a time that Clint and he would talk so civilly towards each other without the influence of a spell or potion. Never did he imagine the man would be so friendly towards him and even offer for him to meet his family. Such an honor would be bestowed on good friends not someone like him. He didn’t deserve it. He couldn’t deserve it.

     “So, how ‘bout it?” Clint turned towards him looking rather hopeful. Was this a cruel joke? Didn’t he hate him before? Just saying he didn’t hate him now didn’t mean they had become close. Did they? Did he believe they were friends now? Why?

      “Do you really trust me near your family?”

     “I know it sounds crazy, but I do. Besides Nat will be there too. She’ll keep you in line.”

      Loki stared at the man for just a moment. He had to see if there was any sign of deception in his tone or on his face, but he found none. He was truly inviting him to meet his family after everything that had happened. It confused Loki but also caused a warm feeling to slowly creep into his chest. He smiled softly feeling touched by Clint’s offer.

      “I’d be honored.”

     The doors opened on the floor Thor and he shared. Clint nodded towards the opening and smacked one of Loki’s shoulders.

     “See you around.”  

     “You as well.” Loki smiled at him as the doors closed. He then brushed his shoulder with one hand as he looked to see if Clint put anything on him. No trackers. No bombs. Nothing. It must have really been a friendly gesture then.

     Strange.

     “Brother, you’ve returned.” Thor’s voice was the first to greet him the moment he opened the door. “I came to our room to find you not present. I thought the worse.”

      He thought the worst and yet he was sitting on the bed as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Loki knew if his brother truly thought the worst, he would have marched to the common area and dragged Loki back. That was all he ever did during the past two weeks. It was childish, brutish and annoying. And yet, Loki fell for him. Despite his infantile behavior, Loki had wanted him.

     There must be something seriously wrong with him.

     “What? Couldn’t be bothered to look for me in the common area?” Loki teased as he laid the scepter onto the dresser and sat down next to his brother.

      “I thought you needed your space.” That was an odd thing for him to say. When did Thor ever believe Loki needed his space? The younger prince was sure his brother would rather he didn’t have any space at all. At least, that was how he behaved before. Was it because the potion was over? Did he think he no longer had competition and therefore was more at ease? “Besides, I needed to put my things away.”

     Loki looked over at the empty luggage still lying in the middle of the floor. Would it kill Thor to put it away as well? Someone could trip on it. Someone being him. But that was Thor. Always messy.

     Loki shook his head.

      “You trusted that I wouldn’t abscond elsewhere?”

      “You are here are you not?” Thor looked at him as if there was no other way this would have occurred. It was as if it had never crossed his mind that Loki could simply run away if he so desired. One night with him and he thought that was enough to keep Loki crawling back into his bed? It was but that was beside the point.

     “Such trust.”

     “Jane told me that it was the foundation to a healthy relationship.”

      So, that woman was the reason for Thor changing once again? Did they speak when Thor got back? Did she call him immediately when he was in the uber to ‘Check on him’? How easily he bends for her even when he is supposed to be Loki’s lover now!

      “Did she now?” He couldn’t hide the jealousy in his tone. He pushed himself off the bed and folded his arms over his chest. He was not pouting. He was just unhappy and letting Thor know. Unfortunately, it didn’t have the desired effect. His brother just smiled up at him amused.

     It was not humorous.

      “So, I thought I shouldn’t try to pull you from the common room.”

     “You needn’t worry. The potion effects are completely departed. There is no love for me left in their hearts.”

      “One cannot be so sure.” Thor smiled at him in a playful way. What was so amusing about this exchange? Loki didn’t understand.

      “And you, Thor?” The younger prince decided to place the focus on to the thunderer. “Now that the potion is gone. Is there still love left in your heart for me?”

     His brother smiled softly, pushed himself up, and moved towards him. Loki allowed him to place his hands onto his arms and pull him closer. Gently, Thor placed a soft kiss onto his lips. It wasn’t the most heated of kisses. It was in fact very chaste and yet, Loki felt almost breathless by it.

     “Aye, there always was,” Thor whispered against his lips before claiming them once more.

     Perhaps Natasha was indeed right. This could be a permanent thing.

      With Thor by his side, Loki was sure the two of them could get through anything.

     It was maddingly optimistic and completely something Loki never would have dreamed he would think about, but he wanted to believe.

     He had to believe.

     Everything was going to be alright for once. He just knew it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus

     He had worked tirelessly for many days. He couldn’t get him out of his mind. Loki had always been an enigma to him. He had always found himself fascinated by the god, but things were different now. This desire was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

     He needed him. His very existence called to him.

     He had his people construct the most beautiful statue in the gardens. One that never did quite capture the beauty of the god, but it was by far the closest he could get. After all, there was no way anything could be as lovely as Loki.

     The way he spoke. The way he walked. The very essence of Loki. He could never recreate. It wasn’t because of lack of trying. Many clones laid dead in one of his labs and none of them were right. None of them had what made Loki… Loki. If the great Vincent von Doom could not recreate the god of mischief, he doubted his best sculptors could either.

     He was not sure why the beautiful god deigned to stay with the Avengers. Surely this was not the Loki he had known as an ally. His Loki would not have shed tears for such a worthless creature like the archer he fought. He had to have been tricking them for some plan that was the only conclusion he could come up with.

    He had a plan, of course.  One he spent countless hours on. Perfecting it and making sure everything was right. He would storm Avengers tower, bring them to their knees and take Loki with him. If Loki resisted… No, Loki would come to him willingly. There was no way it would work any other way. Loki would be his no matter what. Once everything was set, he would have what he desired.

     Then one day, he woke up.

     He was horrified to realize that he must have been under the influence of some sort of spell. He walked into his planning room and ripped up the plans. They were useless if they were only meant to steal a god from the tower. He had bigger things to accomplish.

     How could he lose himself like this? No one controlled Dr. Doom!

     With a frustrated growl, he stormed into the garden to see the large marble statue ahead of him. It was expertly crafted to have the trickster god lying on his side looking carefree, with only a piece of cloth to cover his sensitive parts. He lifted his hands to destroy the piece but decided against it.

     It was after all a work of art and it did bring the garden together.

     Perhaps he’d keep it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. Work is hectic. There is going to be a prequel one shot with Doom and Loki talking about their evil plans. But besides that nothing else for this story.   
> Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me.


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